CHAPTER 21

 

“Mama,” Mateo wriggled all over her far too early the next morning. “Can we go to the beach now?”

“Ugh,” Cate looked at the clock on her bedside table. It was just after eight am, it felt like only two minutes since she’d fallen asleep.

Everything ached but she couldn’t disappoint her little boy and she definitely couldn’t prove that condescending jerk from the clean-up team right. “I’m just going to grab a shower, Mats.”

The hot water did nothing to soothe her aching muscles. She pulled on her scruffiest pair of jeans, despairing that they hung loosely from her hips. She knew that a lot of women would have been ecstatic to have lost that much weight but she’d always worried that her figure wasn’t feminine enough. She pulled on her bra and frowned at the gapping between the silk cups and her flesh. Her breasts had always been small.

As soon as Stepping Out was finished, she was going to have to work hard to try and regain some of her femininity. She couldn’t remember ever feeling less sexy.

“Let’s get your coat and shoes on,” Cate knelt down to fasten his sturdy boots and felt her knees crack. She really needed to see the Stepping Out physiotherapist but Fridays and Saturdays at the studio were so busy and she was back in Seattle for the rest of the week.

When they got to the front, the jerk from the previous Monday was just setting up. There weren’t too many other volunteers. “You’re here,” he said, trying to hide his surprise.

Cate bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing. “We’re really excited to be doing this, aren’t we, Mats?”

“Yay,” Mateo clapped his hands excitedly. “We’re going to stop the animals getting hurt.”

The jerk, or Jim as he introduced himself, gave Cate and Mateo protective gloves, hand-grabbers and plastic sacks and assigned them a section of the beach. Up close, Cate couldn’t believe how much litter had just been dumped on the beach.

“Mama, it’s stuck,” Mateo was trying to pick something up from the ground. Cate went over to take a look. He put his hand-grabber down on the sand and was about to remove his gloves. “I think I can get it.”

“Don’t touch it,” Cate yelped, quickly darting between her son and the offending item. It was what looked like a used condom clinging to the sand. Mateo had been so close to touching it with his bare fingers.

She knelt down in front of Mateo and tried to calm her breathing. “There are some things on this beach that are really nasty, sweetheart. If you touch them without your gloves on, they could make you very poorly, OK?”

Mateo nodded, looking down at the used condom. “Promise me,” Cate said softly, “that you’ll always use the hand-grabber and you’ll keep your gloves on. If there’s anything you can’t pick up, you must let me know before you touch it.”

“I’m sorry,” Mateo said, pouting his bottom lip.

Cate gave him a hug, “I know you are, sweetheart. Why don’t you go and get that red can over there and I’ll try and pick this up?”

Who would just dump a used condom on a public beach like this? Cate carefully dropped the offending item in the plastic sack and went to catch up with her son.

“Wow, you have been busy,” Jim said as Cate and Mateo dragged their full sack of rubbish up the beach.

“There’s some, um…” Jim had explained before they started that he would get rid of the rubbish they collected from the beach. She wanted to warn him about what they’d found.

“I’m sure you have,” Jim said, saving Cate from the embarrassment. “After dark, the local teenagers like to congregate here. Because of the curve of the beach, I suppose they think that they are hidden from view. I should be glad that they are, uh…” He looked down at little Mateo, “being safe but I do wish that they would use the bins.”

“Did you have fun?” Nate asked when Cate and Mateo came home. Sierra reached out her chubby little arms for a cuddle.

Cate thought about all the disgusting things she’d picked up on the beach, albeit with protective gloves and a hand-grabber. She kissed her daughter’s forehead, “I need a hot shower and to incinerate most of my clothes before I can give you a cuddle, baby girl.”

After she’d showered and made sure that Mateo was clean, she went downstairs and took Sierra from Nate. “Oops, I almost forgot to tell you, Jax and Liv are having a barbecue at their house tonight. You’re welcome to join us.”

“Thanks,” Nate pulled a funny face which made Sierra giggle. “If it’s OK with you, I thought I might go to the gym instead.”

“That’s fine,” Cate knew he had a big kickboxing competition coming up. “I can’t believe you’re almost one,” she cuddled Sierra. “It feels like only yesterday that I was giving birth to you during that super-storm.”

Cate looked at Nate, “I’m a terrible mum. It’s my daughter’s first birthday soon and I’ve got absolutely no idea what to do?”

“What did you do for Lola and Mateo’s first birthdays?”

“Ha,” Cate joked, “I don’t know if I can remember that far back? No, we’ve always had laid-back parties, family and friends, good food, children running around everywhere.”

“I think those are the best kind,” Nate said.

“I remember Lola’s fourth birthday party,” Cate reminisced. “Kian offered to organise it – we were separated at the time. I didn’t want one of those hideous birthday parties with like Louis Vuitton gift bags so I insisted that he couldn’t hire professionals, he had to do all of it himself. It was perfect. There was a big, bouncy castle in the garden and bunting everywhere. Liv made the most amazing cake that looked like the Rovers Stadium.”

Cate looked down at little Sierra, “I just want them to stay children for as long as possible. Did I tell you that we found a used condom on the beach today? Mateo couldn’t pick it up with the hand-grabber; at least I caught him before he took off his protective gloves.”

“That’s disgusting,” Nate frowned. “What the heck did he think it was?”

“Um, a water balloon?” Cate laughed. “It was the first thing I could think of.”

Lola trudged up the back garden towards the house, covered in mud. She’d been playing football with Luke, their next door neighbour. “Nope,” Cate shook her head, “you are not traipsing all that mud through the house. Take your boots off and leave them on the porch.”

“Fine,” Lola rolled her eyes.

As she walked barefoot to the stairs, Cate asked, “have you done all your homework?”

“Yes,” Lola said. “I did it on Friday. Nate checked it for me.”

“OK,” Cate didn’t like feeling out of the loop with her family. “We’re going to Auntie Liv and Uncle Jax’s for a barbecue this evening.”

“A barbecue?” Lola turned halfway up the stairs to face Cate, “but it’s freezing out there.”

“It’s Uncle Jax,” Cate said, letting her daughter know she agreed that having a barbecue outside in October sounded insane.

Because they would be having a late-ish night, she settled both Mateo and Sierra down for a nap. Taking advantage of the peace and quiet, Cate curled up in front of the crackling log fire and switched on her Kindle. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had chance to read.

“Can I read with you?” Lola asked.

“Of course you can,” Cate smiled, pulling back the quilt so Lola could snuggle up at the other end of the sofa.

Cate pretended to be reading her Kindle but really she was savouring one of those rare and precious moments. Her youngest children were tucked up safe and warm in their beds upstairs and her oldest daughter was curled up on the other end of the sofa reading her book. It felt like her family was complete. She thought for a moment about the miscarriage. Maybe Kian was right when he’d said that it just wasn’t meant to be.

The front door opened, “I’m home.” Kian was back from training. “Dad!” Lola flung back the quilt and ran to the hallway to greet him. “I tried that trick you taught me when Luke and I were practicing our penalties this morning and it worked, he went the wrong way every time.”

“That’s great, Lo,” Kian brushed his lips against Cate’s cheek. He was still deliciously sweaty from this morning’s training session.

Sierra was awake upstairs. “I’ve said we’ll go to Liv and Jax’s for a barbecue this evening.”

“A barbecue?” Kian stopped suddenly on the stairs causing Cate who was right behind him to almost fall over. “But it’s October.”

Cate and Lola both rolled their eyes, “it’s Uncle Jax.”

Still shaking his head, Kian walked into the bedroom, “I’m going to grab a quick shower.”

Cate laughed, “this family is single-handedly depleting Seattle’s water supply. What do you think, baby girl?” Sierra giggled. “You’re the only one who hasn’t had a shower today.” As she picked her up from the cot, she realised that Sierra’s nappy needed changing. “You’re stinky, aren’t you?”