CHAPTER 33

 

“You know what I’m looking forward to the most about when Stepping Out and the play-offs are over?” Kian grinned, wrapping his arms around Cate’s waist. “Lazy morning sex.” He rubbed his stiffening cock against her bottom.

“Stop it,” Cate blushed. “I’m running late and I’ve still got to make Lola’s lunch.”

“I can do it,” Kian volunteered.

“Yeah,” Cate laughed, reaching for a brown paper bag, “because that worked out so well last time.” The only other time Kian had made their daughter’s lunch, he’d sent her to school with peanut butter sandwiches, not realising that her best friend, Emily had a severe nut allergy. The poor girl had gone into anaphylactic shock and had to be rushed to A&E. Fortunately she was OK.

“Kill me,” Layla stumbled through the back door, closely followed by Luke. Her blonde hair was lank and greasy and her hooded sweatshirt was on inside out.

“What’s wrong?” Cate asked.

“Layla drank too much last night,” Luke announced gleefully. “She’s got a hangover.”

Layla lifted her head up from the kitchen counter, “remember what I said, Luke. We’re using our inside voices this morning.”

Luke just laughed. “Where’s Lola?”

“She’s upstairs,” Cate said. She turned back to Layla, “do you want some coffee?”

“Thanks,” Layla groaned, “but what I really want is a time machine. Who thought it was a good idea to drink absinthe on a freaking school night. It’s a good job Eric and Allison had early surgeries or I would have been so fired.”

Nate walked into the kitchen, carrying Sierra. “Wow, I can smell the alcohol from over here. I’ll drop Luke off at school this morning, sis. You need to go home and take a long, cold shower.”

Cate was driving to the gym when Liv called, “we’ve got a big problem.”

“OK?”

“Ruby didn’t come home until three am this morning.”

“What’s the big deal?” Cate shook her head. “She deserves to have some fun after everything that she’s been through recently.”

“Shut up, OK,” Liv said, sounding uncharacteristically terse. “As long as she’s safe, I wouldn’t give a monkey’s if she didn’t come home until midday. The problem is that she wasn’t alone.”

“Oh,” Cate said, “poor Nico. I knew they were having problems but I didn’t think it was bad enough that she’d just hook up with some random stranger.”

“You’re so freaking dense, Cate,” Liv sounded exasperated. “It wasn’t a random stranger.”

“Ugh, please don’t tell me that she hooked up with Julian.” Cate suddenly remembered that Julian was friends with Jax. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I’m sure Julian’s a great guy but…”

“She didn’t hook up with Julian, Cate,” Liv said quietly.

“I don’t understand,” Cate parked up in front of the gym, “if she didn’t hook up with Julian and it wasn’t a random stranger…”

“No,” Cate thumped her fist on the steering wheel. “Declan’s married, Liv. After Stepping Out is over, he’s supposed to be going home to Ireland and making lots of babies with Hadley.”

Cate looked up and saw Declan’s car pull up in the car park outside the gym. “I’ve got to go.”

Declan looked even worse than Layla. Cate could almost get drunk from the fumes emanating from his crumpled clothing.

“Hey,” he smiled weakly, showing off the dimples she’d once thought were cute.

Cate responded by smacking him hard in the jaw.

“What the…?” Declan stumbled backwards against his open car door.

“That’s for your wife,” Cate fumed, massaging her aching hand. She might not have met Hadley but she felt a kinship with any wife who’d been cheated on. Although she’d long forgiven Kian for his indiscretion with Jenna, the wound of his betrayal was too deep to ever fully heal.

When they walked into the studio, the camera crew were already there. “Cate…?”

Cate shook her head. She couldn’t even look at Declan, let alone talk to him. She knew that it wasn’t her battle to fight, it was Hadley’s. Declan was just her professional partner. But over the weeks, she’d foolishly grown to trust him. He’d become like a member of the family. He’d flown back to Seattle with Cate and Jax on the record company jet and been invited to the family barbecue at their house; he’d slept on Cate’s sofa the night of the storm and watched Seattle vs Portland from the private box. He’d been with Cate at the hospital when she’d had the miscarriage – something only he and Kian knew about.

Declan hadn’t just cheated on Hadley with a random stranger; it was Cate’s sister, Ruby. Cate felt personally responsible for what had happened between them. She was tortured by a thousand what ifs? What if she’d been partnered with one of the other male professionals on Stepping Out? What if she hadn’t suggested that Ruby come and visit them in Seattle? What if Declan hadn’t given her a lift to the airport?

She wanted to borrow Layla’s time machine and go back and erect a massive ten foot brick wall between Declan and Ruby.

When she got home that night, Ruby was sat cross-legged on the carpet playing blocks with Sierra. “Hi,” Ruby said brightly. Without even taking off her winter coat, Cate quickly picked up her baby daughter. “Stay away from my children,” she hissed at Ruby.

“Cate?” Kian put a hand on her shoulder. “What’s going on?”

Cate tried hard not to wince at his touch. She was finding it incredibly difficult to separate her feelings about Declan and Ruby from Kian’s betrayal with Jenna.

“I’m going to give Sierra her bath,” Cate said through gritted teeth, “and when I come back downstairs, I want her gone.”

Sierra protested, flailing and kicking her legs as Cate lowered her into the bath. “I know, sweetheart,” Cate said softly, “sometimes you have to do things that you don’t like very much.”

She sensed Kian behind her. “Has she gone?” Cate asked without turning around.

“Yes,” Kian said. “Are you going to tell me what that was all about? Ruby was really upset.”

“Good.” Cate wrapped her daughter up in a warm fluffy towel and carried her into the nursery. She smelled gorgeously clean and fresh. If only everything could be washed away with a nice, warm bath. She got Sierra changed into her pyjamas and then laid her down in her cot. Her eyelids were already drooping. Cate switched on the soft nightlight and picked up Sierra’s favourite cuddly dolphin and placed it next to her in the cot.

She wasn’t ready to see Kian again so she sat on the rocking chair by Sierra’s cot and sang soft lullabies until her youngest daughter fell asleep. The cuddly dolphin reminded her of Sadie and that just made her think about Hadley again. Cate felt such a profound sadness. It just wasn’t fair. Hadn’t she been through enough with her brother taking his own life?

“Cate?” Kian leaned against the doorframe. “You can’t stay there all night, angel.”

“I can try,” Cate smiled weakly.

Kian reached for her hands, “talk to me.”

“I’m too angry with you right now.”

Kian tilted her chin back, forcing her to look at him. “You’re angry with me?”

Cate shook her head, “it doesn’t matter. Let’s go to bed.”

She didn’t want to talk so she pretended to fall asleep straight away. Why did men always cheat? She worried about her young son, Mateo and how she could help him grow up to be the kind of man who wouldn’t cheat on his wife or girlfriends. She tried to reassure herself that there were good men out there. She thought about Ben, Jax and Remy’s husband, Vincenzo. The trouble was that there were so many cheaters – Kian, Declan, even Nate had a fling with their next door neighbour, Eric.

“I know you’re not asleep,” Kian said softly, turning to face Cate.

“I’m worried about Mats,” Cate blurted out, “how can I make sure that when he grows up, he treats the women in his life with respect?”

“Where is this coming from?” Kian asked.

“Declan slept with Ruby last night,” Cate said wearily.

“What?”

“Liv was up early feeding Sofia and she caught Declan sneaking out of Ruby’s bedroom this morning.”

“Why do men cheat?” Cate sighed. “Why isn’t one woman ever enough for them?”

“That’s why you’re angry with me,” Kian said. He rolled Cate beneath him and pinned her wrists above her head. “It was a stupid, drunken mistake and I will regret it for the rest of my life, angel. I hurt you and I nearly lost my family.”

“I’ve forgiven you but…” Cate was so confused.

Kian gently brushed his lips over hers. “We can’t make love,” Cate protested.

“Why not?” Kian dragged his teeth over her plump bottom lip, making her ache for him.

“It feels wrong.”

Kian skilfully took her mouth, swallowing her protests. With every slow, erotic slide of his tongue, she softened beneath him until she couldn’t remember why they were fighting anymore.

Keeping her wrists pinned above her head with one hand, he pushed up the front of her t-shirt, exposing her engorged breasts. “Mm,” Cate arched up off the bed, desperate for him to soothe her aching nipples. He teased her, stroking the curves of her quivering flesh until she begged him for more.

“Please,” Cate whimpered.

“I thought it felt wrong, angel,” Kian chuckled, tugging on her pert nipple.

“Kian!” Cate cried. He sucked her swollen nipple into the wet heat of his mouth.

“Oh,” Cate moaned, her eyes rolling back into her head. It was too much and not enough.

He let go of her wrists and she buried them in his black hair, holding him hostage against her breast.

He ripped off her panties and tossed them to the floor. Cate used her feet to push his boxer shorts down around his knees. She gasped as she felt his hot, steely length prodding against her thigh.

“Look at me,” Kian commanded. Cate felt him push apart her thighs. He was so virile.

His dark eyes burned with unrestrained lust as he slid an arm under her hips and pushed inside of her. “Mm,” Cate bit her lip, her body struggling to accommodate his thick girth.

“You are enough for me,” he said fiercely.

“I know,” Cate said hoarsely, lifting her hips to meet his deep, penetrating thrusts. It wasn’t Kian’s fault that Declan had cheated on Hadley with Ruby. “I’m sorry that I brought it up again. I forgave you a long time ago.”

Kian took her mouth again, drugging her with hot, demanding kisses. She wrapped her arms and legs tightly around his torso. Kian wasn’t Declan and she wasn’t Hadley.

He drove them higher and higher until Cate spiralled into the most dizzying climax. She was only vaguely aware of Kian rutting furiously between her splayed thighs, the depths of her inky-black hair muffling his primitive grunts as he ground out his own orgasm, filling her with his molten, liquid release, coating her inner thighs, bottom and stomach.

Afterwards, Kian rolled over on to his back, draping Cate across him. “I need you to know something, angel.” He stroked his hands over her soft, dewy skin. “I definitely don’t condone what Declan and Ruby did. I’m just as angry as you are. I know what it feels like to really hurt the person that you love and it’s fucking awful. I’m so lucky that you forgave me after what happened at the World Cup.”

“I know you don’t condone it,” Cate said, tracing her fingers over the blue-black stubble on his jawline. “I know you’re not that guy but when I found out what Declan and Ruby had done, it just… it took me right back to that awful Christmas Eve. I’m beginning to understand how conflicted Ben and Sinead must have been when they knew what you’d done and I didn’t. I’ve got to fly to L.A. tomorrow morning with Declan and I just don’t know if I can do it. If I go out there on Saturday night and plaster a fake smile on my face, am I saying that what they did was OK?”

“What else can you do?” Kian asked. “They’ve put you in an impossible situation.”

“I could quit the show?” Cate suggested. “It’s not like I’m going to win.”

“No,” Kian shook his head, “you have worked too hard to quit now. It’s the quarter-final.”