I wanted to touch him everywhere.

Ben’s body was fucking beautiful. His skin was golden, which had always made me wonder where his biological parents had been from. He and Griff both had the kind of complexion that tanned instead of burned. Ben had a few tattoos scattered here and there—the colorful seashells on his left arm were from a memory he had of his mom helping him collect shells on vacation when he was six—and there were three small irregular scars in a row on one shoulder that probably had a story behind them. I wanted to map every single inch of him and commit it all to memory.

“I don’t know where to touch you first,” I admitted.

Ben’s face relaxed, and it was only then I realized he’d been holding his breath. Surely he hadn’t thought I’d find his naked body anything less than spectacular?

“You are the sexiest motherfucker on the planet,” I said with a grin. I felt like little bubbles of joy were popping up through my stomach and chest, making me giddy. There was no doubt I was nervous as hell, but I was also excited and turned the fuck on.

I took a step toward him but he hopped backward onto the bed and away from my reach.

“No one is allowed on this bed with clothes on,” he said with a raised eyebrow. “Drop trou, soldier.”

I’d forgotten for a minute about my scars and insecurities. My doubt tried to sneak back in while I bent over to get rid of my underwear, but I bit it back as best I could. Ben deserved to have me fully present in this bed and not half in my head with worries. He’d already done more than enough to prove to me he didn’t care about my scars.

I stood up tall and clenched a fist by my side to force myself to stand still for a few beats to let him look at me the way he’d let me look at him.

He didn’t disappoint.

Ben’s dick jumped away from his lower belly, and his hand reached down to stroke it in response. The cast on his other hand allowed his fingers enough freedom to play with his balls, causing him to fall back onto the mattress with a moan. The view I was left with was something I’d never seen before outside of a porn scene.

His slim, muscled thighs fell open but remained bent, his feet flat on the bed. As his fingers pulled his balls up, I could see the tight furl of his hole between his smooth ass cheeks.

“You coming?” he asked in a rough voice. “Or do I need to charge admission?”

I climbed onto the foot of the bed and began kissing up the inside of one leg. Would Ben be able to tell I was stalling? Because I had no fucking clue what I was doing. I knew I wanted to fuck him, wanted to feel the tight heat of his body wrapped around mine as he came, but I didn’t know what he wanted. How did one ask such a question?

And did I want to top because I was afraid of bottoming? I didn’t think so. What if he wanted to top? Would I be willing to—

“Get up here and turn the volume down on that brain of yours,” Ben murmured.

I lifted my head up to stare at him. Instead of the heated, blown pupils he’d had earlier, his face was nothing but tender and encouraging. I crawled on top of him and kissed him.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I whispered against his lips. “Remember?”

Even though he was small, Ben managed to flip me over until I was on my back and he was straddling my hips. My cock automatically slid along his crease, and I bit my cheek to keep from getting too turned on by it.

“I want to ride you,” Ben said. “That way you can just lie there and watch, okay?”

As wonderful as that sounded, I knew his body was most likely still healing.

“But you’re the one—”

Ben’s fingers landed on my lips. “I’ll stop if anything hurts. Please, Reese. I want to make you feel good.”

I pulled his fingers into my mouth and sucked on them before pulling them out and holding his hand against my chest. “Sweetheart, you could sit still on a chair breathing oxygen and it would make me feel good.”

Ben’s eyes skittered away and a flush appeared on his neck, reminding me he was still so much younger than I was. And yet here he was showing me what to do in the bedroom.

At least I knew some things. Like… like condoms. And lube.

Shit.

“I… ah…” I searched frantically for a way to break it to him. “I don’t have any…”

Ben rolled his eyes and climbed off me. “You’re hopeless.”

My heart dropped and I squeezed my eyes closed to hide my crushing disappointment. I was an idiot. One stupid oversight and I’d fucked it all up.

Before I could open my mouth to stammer out an apology, I felt the bed dip again. I opened my eyes to see Ben holding a strip of condoms in one hand and a brand-new bottle of lube in another. On his face was a shit-eating grin. But it quickly fell away when he looked at me.

“What?” he asked nervously.

“Nothing,” I said with a shake of my head.

He studied me a moment, then widened his eyes as he looked down at the condoms and lube. “Oh god, Reese, I didn’t mean that,” he said frantically. “That comment about you being hopeless was a joke. I… I thought you knew I was kidding.”

He looked so distraught that I grabbed his face. “No, no, I did, Ben. I mean, I didn’t but I should have,” I stammered awkwardly. I mumbled a curse and said, “I’m sorry, my brain just goes there, you know?”

“I would never make fun of you,” Ben said, looking horrified.

“I know that. I do. I’m just nervous, and I don’t want to do anything to mess this up, and I guess I just did mess it up,” I babbled. My mind felt like it was going a million different directions as I tried to make Ben understand. But as soon as I opened my mouth, he kissed me hard. The condoms and lube fell to the bed as he grabbed my face and forced me to look at him.

“I would never do that to you, Reese. Never. And if anyone even thinks about saying shit about you, I’ll shove so many Skee-Balls up every orifice on their body that they’ll—”

It was my turn to kiss him to silence him. He was so cute when he got all fierce and protective. When I told him that, he let out a “damn straight” and something about me being his, then he was kissing me back. We were breathless by the time I managed to locate the discarded condoms and lube on the bed by fumbling around for them.

I narrowed my eyes as I studied the items. “Where’d you get these? You came here with nothing. Why do you have condoms?”

Ben leaned in to press our foreheads together. “Simmer down, hot head,” he warned. I could tell by his grin he didn’t mind my suspicious jealous act so much. “I got Blue to pick them up for me. I would have asked Ronan or one of the guys except, duh, he’s your boss and they’re your co-workers. I didn’t want anyone to know our business.”

“You’re awfully smart,” I admitted, reaching up to grab his face so I could plant a grateful kiss on his lips. “I should have planned better.”

As he relaxed on top of my body and continued kissing me, I realized this wasn’t at all like I’d imagined. When I’d thought of my first time having sex with a man, I’d thought of a quick, rough fuck with more grunting than talking. Not that the idea of that kind of encounter didn’t turn me on. It did. But it also intimidated me.

This, on the other hand, what Ben and I had… teasing and talking and taking our time with each other… it was so natural and right. It set me at ease and reminded me that I knew this man. And Ben didn’t intimidate me at all. I knew he wouldn’t judge me and find me lacking.

I pulled back from the kiss and ran my hands up his back from where they’d been squeezing the hell out of his gorgeous butt.

“Thank you for being here. For being patient with me,” I told him. “I just need you to know…” My voice broke, and I cleared my throat. “I just need you to know there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now than here with you.”

Ben’s eyes were bright and shining as they met mine. “Same here,” he whispered before leaning down to kiss my lips, my chin, my collarbone. He moved down my chest one kiss at a time until my hard cock was begging for a kiss of its own.

When his lips finally wrapped around me, I cried out his name. My fingers ran through his short hair and my legs twitched with the sensations swirling through my groin and throughout my whole body. I finally had enough presence of mind to beg him to stop so I wouldn’t come too fast.

Ben pulled off and reached for a condom, biting it open before sliding it onto my shaft. He grabbed for the tube of lube and flicked open the cap to squeeze out enough to coat my dick before flinging the tube across the room.

“Wait,” I gasped as he shimmied up my body and reached for me. “We need that to get you ready.”

“Already done, old man. I’m a multi-tasker.”

My brain spun, and there were so many amazing nerves firing in my body, I couldn’t even process what he was saying. He reached back to hold me still so he could seat himself on my cock.

“Oh god,” I cried as the head of my cock disappeared into his body. Ben’s shapely thigh muscles shifted under his honeyed skin as he moved to take more of me in. “Ben, Ben. Fuck.”

I was going to blow. I was going to come in two point five seconds and embarrass myself.

“Baby… god,” I whimpered. “You feel so good. So fucking good.”

My eyes were wide open as I hungrily took in every bit of him on top of me. The wanton look on his face, the berry-colored blotches on his neck from the stubble on my face. The ramrod-straight cock pointing to the ceiling from a neat thatch of dark brown curls between his legs.

The curves of his ass met my body when he was fully seated, and I thought I’d never seen a sexier sight than that gorgeous man joined together with me. My greedy fingers moved all over his front from his cock to his stomach to his neck.

He began to bounce up and down on me, his eyes closed and head thrown back in pleasure, and I couldn’t take it anymore. Everything inside of me screamed to take him, to fuck him, to thrust into him and get as close to him as humanly possible. I wanted him underneath me. I wanted him desperate and panting.

I wanted him to be mine in every way.

I sat up and wrapped my arms around him before twisting us around and laying him down on his back. Ben’s eyes blinked open in surprise, and I leaned in to suck at his mouth.

“You’re everything,” I managed to croak before the sensation of his hot channel around my dick took all of my attention. I pistoned my hips in and out, slowly at first until I was sure I wasn’t hurting him. Small mewling sounds came out of him each time I drew back, and I noticed the feel of his thighs squeezed around my ribs.

A sheen of sweat broke out on his skin, and I sucked and nipped at his neck to take it in. The feel of his hard shaft against my belly reminded me I was ignoring something important. If I didn’t stroke him off quickly, this whole thing was going to be over.

My hand reached for him and began jacking him in time to my thrusts. Ben’s entire body arched off the bed as he screamed out my name and his muscles squeezed me, sparking off my climax and tumbling me over the edge.

It felt like a cannon boom went off inside of me, shooting out powerful waves of pleasure to the tips of my toes and the prickles of my scalp. I pushed as deeply into him as I could while my body emptied into the condom. Our skin was hot and slick, sticking us together from shoulders to knees.

The silence in the room was broken only by the heaving breaths we both took as we tried to come down from our high. Something huge had just shifted between us with our coming together. I may not have had much experience, but even I knew that what had just happened between us was way, way more than just sex.

I pulled back to look at him, terrified of seeing something in his face that would indicate it hadn’t been as intense for him as it had been for me.

Ben’s face was awash with tears and his eyes looked sad and confused.

“Did I hurt you?” I asked, feeling my panic set in and my own eyes fill. “Oh god, baby, what did I do?”

I pulled out, making sure to grab the condom and go as slowly as I could.

Ben shook his head but didn’t say anything. I raced to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and get him a wet washcloth. When I got back to the bed he was still lying in the same place. I washed his tears first and cupped his face, asking him again what I’d done wrong.

He smiled through his tears and reached up to wipe one off my own cheek.

“You made me fall for you, you big dumb bastard,” he said. “And you wrecked all my escape plans.”