For some reason, my first thought was that Reese must have a strange kink for snotty, tear-soaked assault victims. But then I tasted him… and didn’t care why he was kissing me. I wanted more. So much more.

His hands were gentle on either side of my face, and his lips were soft and seeking. With Reese’s sweet scent floating around me and his rough stubble scratching against my cheek, I was surrounded by everything that made men so enticing to me. Reese was bigger and stronger than I was. His strength didn’t make me feel weak by comparison, but it did make me feel cared for… looked after… protected.

I let out a sigh of submission, willing him to take over and get me out of my head for a little while. But when he didn’t take the kiss any further than pressing his mouth against mine, my impatience got the best of me and I grabbed his ears as I slashed my mouth over his. When I licked over the seam of his lips, he jerked back just a little and looked at me wide-eyed.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you—”

“No,” he quickly said. “No, I just…”

Color flooded his cheeks and he hung his head. “God, I’m such a fuck-up.”

My body’s aches and pains dissipated under the onslaught of raw emotion that tore through me at how broken he sounded. “What? Why?” I asked as I ran my fingers through his short hair.

When he didn’t respond, I leaned in and kissed him softly. “Please tell me,” I urged. I couldn’t stop touching him as I tried to soothe away his distress. I barely heard his next words.

“… was supposed to be perfect but I fucked it up…”

“What was? The kiss?” I asked.

When he dipped his head a little, I felt a mix of relief and worry. “Reese, was that your first time kissing a man?” I asked. God, what if kissing me had made him have some kind of realization about himself? Why the hell had I grabbed him like I had? My heart felt like it was in my throat as I said, “It’s okay if you didn’t like it—”

“I loved it,” he cut in vehemently. His eyes lifted to meet mine and his hands tightened just a little on my waist. “I loved it,” he repeated, more softly this time.

“But you said it was supposed to be perfect—”

“I wanted to make it perfect for you but I…”

I wanted to laugh and cry at how hard it was to get an answer out of the man. For someone as big and bold and present as Reese, he was just so damn closed off.

“I don’t—” I began when I looked into his gorgeous blue eyes. Then it suddenly hit me… the way he’d grabbed me desperately but hadn’t consumed my mouth, the way he’d jumped in surprise when I’d let my tongue slide over his soft lips in a silent message…

“Was that… was that your first time kissing… anyone?” I asked.

“Unless Molly O’Shannon laying one on me when I was five right after she told me we should get married counts, then yes, that was my first time.”

I found myself smiling at his words and then I clasped his cheeks between my fingers. I forced him to hold my gaze as I said, “So you’re telling me that if I kiss you again, I may have a jilted Irish bride showing up someday to lay into me for stealing her man?”

The attempted humor seemed to help him relax.

“I said no,” Reese responded with a little smile. “Told her I was going to marry her twin brother, Jason.”

I laughed and stroked my thumb along his cheekbone. “How’d she take the news?”

“She squirted glue in my hair and then went to tell the teacher on me.”

“Smart girl,” I said. “I wouldn’t have let you go so easily, either,” I added, then I leaned in and pressed my mouth to his.

He’d never been kissed before.

By anyone.

My lips were the first to touch his. Sorry, but little Molly just didn’t count.

I would be this first for him, and I would make it amazing. I let the rest of the world melt away so I could have these few moments where it was just him and me because I needed this just as much… I needed to be able to pretend everything was okay.

Just for a little while.

I kissed Reese softly a few times, one chaste kiss after another. When he began seeking longer contact each time, I flicked my tongue against the seam of his closed mouth. This time he didn’t jump back. “Open for me,” I whispered against his mouth. “Trust me, Reese,” I added when he hesitated.

My instinct was telling me this was a big step for Reese—not the actual kissing, though that was probably a pretty big deal—no, it was the trust part that was undoubtedly difficult for him. Reese didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who gave up control easily, and while that was something I’d craved just a few minutes ago, being the one to give him a few moments of just accepting pleasure without having to worry about returning it was a heady experience.

And who was I kidding?

I was getting a hell of a lot of pleasure from this.

Reese’s hands had slid down until they were resting on my thighs and I could feel his hardening cock pressed against my belly. But nearly all of my focus was on the sweetness of his mouth as he relaxed into the kiss. I let my tongue dip between his lips for the briefest of moments. I teased him over and over until he gave me the silent signal that he was ready for more when his tongue met my seeking one on the next pass. I heard a deep groan bubble up from his throat as his fingers dug into my thighs, then his big hands were sliding carefully up my back. I held his face as our mouths continued to dance together in the most intimate of caresses. When I let my tongue retreat, Reese’s followed and that invisible switch got flipped just like that.

I moaned when Reese began greedily exploring my mouth. Our breaths mingled as he took over the kiss. He kissed me without any kind of hesitation or guile. There was no finesse as he consumed me, and I loved it. Everything he was doing to me was one hundred percent him. It wasn’t about seduction or getting through the foreplay stuff to get to the next step. It was Reese taking and giving in equal measure. It was about him wanting to kiss me… needing it.

Like I needed him.

“Ben,” Reese breathed when we both came up for air. The awe in his voice had my insides flip-flopping painfully. It would be so damn easy to fall for this man.

“I know,” I responded. “More,” I demanded, but when Reese pulled me even closer, my body betrayed me and I winced at the pain that tore up my side. “It’s okay,” I said, but Reese had already put some space between us. I’d already known that we needed to stop, but god help me, I didn’t want to. I wanted to keep pretending just a little while longer.

Reese dragged in several breaths as he just held on to me, and I knew it was because he was trying to get control of himself.

That damn, unflappable control.

I hated it.

And admired it.

Because while my sister was out there suffering who knew what, I’d been pretending she was perfectly fine and asleep in her bed, and I was out with an amazing guy who kissed like a fucking dream…

“Don’t,” Reese said gently. “Don’t do that to yourself.”

I shook my head because I hated that he knew what I’d been thinking. It just added to my guilt.

“Let’s go lie down for a bit,” Reese suggested on a sigh. “You need to be a hundred percent when we go after your sister.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him we didn’t have that long, since the meet-up with Georgie’s abductors was supposed to happen the very next night, but the same thing that had kept me from telling him about the address I’d overheard the guys giving to Kirk had me remaining silent.

I hated that I didn’t fully trust Reese, but my fear for Georgie’s safety was overruling everything. What if Reese went into that meeting guns blazing? What if the guys saw Reese and killed Georgie because I’d told someone else about what they’d done? In my heart, I knew I needed to tell Reese everything, but I was just too afraid that it would be a misstep that would end my sister’s young life. I couldn’t completely hand her fate over to him.

I just couldn’t…

I let Reese ease me to my feet after he got to his own, but I automatically missed his warmth. He held my hand as he led me to the bed and pulled back the covers. I sat down, but when he tried to pull his hand free so I could relax onto the bed, my fingers locked around his. It was humiliating, but I couldn’t let him go.

I expected him to urge me to lie down, but instead he said, “Scoot over a little.”

Was he really going to…?

Yes, he was.

As I gingerly moved to the opposite side of the bed, the mattress dipped next to me. I remembered what Reese had said about being in a bed. “You don’t have to—”

“I just had the most epic kiss with the most gorgeous man on the planet,” Reese said as he positioned us so we were both lying on our sides facing each other. His rough fingers stroked over my cheek. “You can bet that sweet ass of yours that I’m not going to waste an opportunity to feel him up a bit.”

I felt the backs of my eyes stinging at the gentle humor in his voice.

We both fell silent for a second before I saw the color in Reese’s cheeks return. I was coming to love that little stain of pink on his stubbled cheeks.

“What?” I asked because I knew he wanted to say something.

He shook his head.

“What?” I repeated gently as I twined my fingers with his and then pulled his arm so it was resting on my waist. With Reese, it seemed like I was going to need to be the one to initiate any kind of physical contact between us.

“How was it?” he suddenly blurted.

I couldn’t help but smile.

“Don’t answer that,” Reese cut in before I could respond. “I… it was… you were… are… incredible,” he stammered.

His embarrassment tore at my heartstrings. He was so confident in other aspects, but it seemed like his self-worth was nonexistent.

“Better than that hussy, Molly O’Shannon?” I interrupted in as serious a voice I could manage.

Reese’s stammering died a quick death and then he smiled as his expression relaxed. He brought his fingers up between us so I could see him put his thumb and finger about an inch apart.

“Little bit?” I asked.

He laughed and nodded.

“I guess someday I’ll have to try and improve on my score.”

“Is that you offering yourself up for some much-needed practice?” Reese asked.

This time it was my turn to hold my fingers up for him. He chuckled and I felt my insides dance in response. Who was I kidding? I wanted to tell him he better not do any practicing on anyone but me. Instead, I asked, “How… just how?”

He seemed to know what I was talking about. I was glad when he dropped his arm back down to my waist. “I, um… my dad, he was kind of well-known when I was a kid, and I wasn’t really free to explore. I mean, I did some stuff with guys when I was older, but it was always dark and random and quick, and I… fuck,” he muttered.

“It’s okay, Reese,” I said. “You can tell me anything.”

He dropped his eyes and drew in a deep breath. “I couldn’t risk anyone finding out about me, and when I was growing up there were all these eyes watching… always watching.”

I took that to mean he’d lived in the public eye, but I remained silent so that he’d keep talking.

“There were a few girls who pretended to be interested in me when I was in my teens, but I knew it wasn’t real.”

“What do you mean?”

“They liked the idea of it… but they didn’t like me. They didn’t know me.”

“You mean they liked the idea of dating a guy who had a famous father?”

I saw the flash of suspicion in his eyes and truthfully, it stung a little. “I don’t know who you are, Reese,” I said carefully. “You could be the lovechild of George Clooney and I wouldn’t know it… I don’t really follow stuff like that. I don’t even watch the news. Now if your dad was Batman, that would be a different story…”

I winked at him and he instantly relaxed.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s okay,” I assured him. “So, no girls,” I prodded.

“Right. No boys either—that just couldn’t happen… ever. But after I joined the army it was harder to deny what I wanted. But people still knew who I was so I couldn’t risk it…” He paused and said, “I went to a gay club for the first time when I was in my early twenties. It was in Germany. I was fascinated.” Reese glanced at where his hand was resting on my waist. “All those men dancing and kissing and touching and not caring who saw them… it made me… ache.”

Under any other circumstances I would have responded with a joke about his choice of words, but the despair in his eyes had me holding my tongue. I couldn’t even imagine having to hide such a huge part of myself from the world.

“I stuck to the edges of the crowd where it was dark. This guy, he grabbed me from behind and started touching me. I knew I shouldn’t want it… that it was wrong. But I didn’t stop him. He couldn’t see my face, and I couldn’t see his. When he pushed me into this corner and got on his knees, I just… I had to know for sure, you know?” Reese’s voice cracked with sheer desperation.

I nodded and pulled his hand from my waist and entwined our fingers. I pressed our joined hands against my chest. “I know, baby,” I whispered.

“I felt so fucking relieved afterwards. Like I finally at least understood something about who I was. But I knew I couldn’t have it. Not ever. It would cost me everything. My dad, he wouldn’t have—”

Reese’s voice cut off abruptly, and I saw him swallow hard a few times, like there was something stuck in his throat. I didn’t say anything, just rubbed one of my fingers over his to remind him I was there… that he had me.

“I did it a few more times after that, but never more than letting a guy get me off with his hand or mouth. I never let them kiss me, I never asked them their name or told them mine. Even when… when I was no longer speaking to my father, I still couldn’t let that part of myself out. I hated it… him.”

“Your father?” I asked gently.

He nodded. “You want to know the kicker?”

I knew he didn’t need me to actually answer the question so I waited patiently for him to continue.

“A few years after I joined the military, I walked in on him… with another guy.”

I felt my heart skip a beat. “Reese,” I whispered, almost in denial.

“He was cheating on my mom… with another man. This thing that I thought he hated about me… he was hiding it himself.”

“What do you mean, thought he hated?”

“It was my mom,” Reese said. “I came out to her when I was sixteen. She told me I couldn’t tell anyone. I tried, but it was just too hard so I told her I needed to tell my dad because I just… I couldn’t live like that anymore. She told me that she’d already told him and that…” Reese fell silent. I could see him struggling. “She lied to me,” he finally whispered.

“What did she say?”

His voice was so hushed it was hard to hear him when he spoke next.

“She told me he said he’d rather I was dead than be a… a…”

“It’s okay, Reese, you don’t need to say it,” I said as I reached out to stroke his cheek. I knew exactly what word he was struggling with. Kirk had called me that word plenty of times because he’d just assumed I was gay. While it’d stung, I hadn’t cared enough about the man to really put any weight behind the slur.

But if my father had called me that word…

It would’ve killed me.

“But he didn’t actually say that?” I asked.

Reese shook his head. “But when I saw him with that other guy, it just… it fucked everything up,” he said. “I believed he was being a hypocrite. I didn’t speak to him for years.”

“But things are better now?” I asked hopefully.

Reese nodded. “When I got hurt on my most recent job, my dad was there to help me recover. We… we had a chance to talk… clear some stuff up.”

I suspected whatever had happened between father and son was much more significant than that, but my gut was telling me not to push Reese any further.

“Did you get along with your parents?” Reese asked. “The ones who adopted you?”

I felt the familiar pang of loss. Even though I’d been without my parents longer than I’d been with them, I still missed them every day.

“I did. They were amazing. They were both really hands-on, you know? My mom taught me how to cook and sew and stuff and my dad took me fishing and showed me how to fix things around the house… but I never felt like I had to be a certain way. I think they would have been okay with finding out I was gay. They were always big on loving the person inside. I mean, my dad was real big on sports, right, but I didn’t like playing them or watching. And I hated fishing… it would just freak me out to know that the worm was dangling at the end of the hook just waiting to be eaten and the fish was gonna get whacked and…” I let out a breath when I realized how ridiculous I sounded.

“I hate fishing too,” Reese said. “And I cried when Bambi’s mom died.” He winked at me and I found myself laughing.

“Was that not the most traumatizing thing?” I agreed. “And what about Old Yeller? I mean, what kind of sadist makes a kid shoot his dog?”

Reese laughed and leaned in to kiss me quickly. “Walt Disney was a closeted sadist for sure.” He teased my lips with his finger, then sobered and asked, “So your dad was good with his gamer son?”

I nodded. “Definitely. He bought me my first Playstation and spent hours playing with me. We built Lego spaceships, and he bought this crazy expensive telescope so we could explore constellations.”

“What was your favorite thing that you guys did together?”

I didn’t even need to think about it. “He’d take me to this arcade place every Saturday. They had those old-fashioned video game consoles like Pac-Man and the carnival style games where you could win tickets and trade them in for cheap prizes. We’d play all day long and gorge ourselves on pizza and junk food, and when we got home we’d stay up late and watch movies. My mom would find us passed out on the couch every Sunday morning and she’d make us a big breakfast of pancakes.”

“It sounds perfect,” Reese said.

“It was,” I murmured. I felt my heart grow heavy. “I try to do stuff like that with Georgie… stuff she’ll remember when she’s older.”

“What kinds of things does she like?”

“She’s really smart, but quiet… it takes her a while to warm up to people so we usually pick something where it’s just the two of us. One of her favorite things is to just explore the park near our house. She likes to study the bugs and birds and stuff. Most girls her age might shy away from the creepy-crawly things, but she’s fascinated by them. But she’s got a really soft heart too. She saw some kids messing with a caterpillar once… they were poking it with a stick. Then one of them stomped on it and she just started screaming and crying. When the kids took off, Georgie said we had to bury it and ask God to take care of it. So we did.”

“She sounds like an amazing kid.”

“She is,” I whispered. “I need her back, Reese.”

I couldn’t keep my voice from cracking. The next thing I knew, I was in Reese’s arms and he was whispering words of comfort to me.

Thoughts of her with those strangers were too horrible to linger on. I was desperate not to think of it. “What if they’ve hurt her—”

“They won’t, Ben… they took her because they want something, so it’s in their best interest to keep her safe.”

I nodded against him, but I couldn’t stop the images that kept running through my head at all the things Georgie was seeing and feeling. My head began to hurt as my distress grew. Reese kept trying to comfort me, but I couldn’t stop the sobs from bubbling up from my throat. When they finally eased on their own after what felt like hours, I was physically exhausted and my eyes felt dry and heavy. I knew I needed to tell Reese about the address and the meet-up with the men who’d taken Georgie, but I couldn’t find the words. Reese’s warm hand rubbing up and down my back made it even harder to stay awake and after a while, I gave up trying.

When I did wake up, it was so abrupt that I nearly fell out of bed as I tried to see what time it was. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that the clock read ten p.m. Since there was no way I’d slept more than twenty-four hours and missed the meet-up, I let myself relax a bit.

I glanced around the room to look for Reese, expecting to find him on the floor next to the bed, but he wasn’t there. The bathroom door was open. I got up and quickly checked the small space anyway. I had a moment of panic that he’d left me, but then I saw his duffel bag sitting on the table.

Maybe he’d gone to get food?

I moved to the window to see if his car was still parked out in the lot. The hotel was designed in a way that the structure formed a “U” around the parking lot. The curtains were drawn so I pulled them back.

And froze when I saw Reese with two other men standing at the base of the stairs that led to the second floor, which was the one we were on. I couldn’t hear what the men were talking about, but it didn’t matter because there was enough lamplight overhead that I recognized one of them.

Dr. Ethan Rhodes.

The ER doctor who’d treated me at the hospital.

I had no clue who the younger blond man next to Dr. Rhodes was, but it didn’t matter because one stunning fact kept repeating on a loop in my head.

He lied to me.

Reese had led me to believe he’d just randomly found me on the street. I’d even asked him how he’d known I was in the hospital and he’d said because of the hospital gown I’d been wearing. But I’d never told him which hospital I’d been in or who my doctor had been. And the three men were talking like they knew each other.

I dropped the curtain as I took a few steps back until the backs of my knees hit the bed. The sense of betrayal washed over me in waves that left a sour taste in my mouth.

What had I done?

And what had I almost done? I’d been on the verge of confessing everything to Reese. I’d nearly put my sister’s life in his hands.

He lied to me.

The sound of footsteps had me quickly sliding up the bed and curling on my side. I closed my eyes just as the door opened. I sensed rather than saw Reese come to the bed, and it was all I could do not to move when he crawled in at my back and wrapped an arm around my waist. Tears stung my eyes, but I managed to keep them from falling. I willed my breathing to remain even as Reese’s lips skimmed the back of my neck.

And as his body began to relax behind me, my mind was fiercely working to come up with a new plan to get my sister back… and to escape the man who’d made me promises I’d known in my heart he wouldn’t keep.

Just like everything else, Reese had turned out to be yet one more disappointment in my life… one of many.