I wasn’t surprised when Ben answered with his own question.

Or condition, rather.

He’d said he’d have some, and while I’d managed to put him off with my non-answer answers to his questions about what I did for a living, I suspected he wouldn’t be as forgiving when it came to his sister’s fate.

Which meant I’d have to lie to him.

Or keep lying to him, rather, since I was lying by omission by pretending I’d found him by chance on the streets.

“Promise me what I tell you stays between us. They said they’d kill her if I went to the cops or told anyone.”

The fear in his voice was absolute, which made it a little easier for me to say, “I promise.” I’d dealt with a couple of abductions since going to work for Ronan, so I knew that the kidnappers’ first goal was to instill the utmost psychological fear in the victim’s loved ones. The reality was that the kidnappers would likely kill little Georgie anyway, even if their demands were met. But I wasn’t about to tell Ben any of that. Getting Georgie back was my first priority. Ben could hate me all he wanted after he had his sister back.

“I don’t really know where to start,” Ben said.

“How old is Georgie?”

“Um, four.”

“When was she taken?”

“Five days ago.”

“From where?” I asked.

“Here, San Francisco.”

“I thought you lived in Atlanta.”

Ben dropped his eyes. “We do. But Georgie was here with her father.” Ben’s voice dropped and his fingers began to shake. “It’s my fault, Reese.”

When he went to wipe at a single tear that streaked down his cheek, I moved to the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress so I was facing him. “Tell me what happened.”

He nodded and pulled in a breath. “About a week ago, this company that’s thinking of hiring me full-time flew me to Dallas for an interview.”

“What kind of work do you do?”

“I test video games. Right now I just do it freelance, but this job, it came with benefits and stuff. Also, it was still work from home so I couldn’t pass up the chance, you know?” Ben looked at me as if desperate for me to understand.

“I know.” I nodded in agreement. “It’s okay.”

“There was even a chance I could someday add Georgie as a dependent on the company’s health insurance if I ever got Kirk to sign over his parental rights to me.”

“Kirk, he’s your father?”

Ben shook his head. “Just Georgie’s. He was my foster father up until I turned eighteen. Kirk and his wife, Gloria, took me in after my parents died when I was ten. They, uh, didn’t really want me… just the monthly check that came with me.”

I found myself reaching for Ben’s hand without thinking.

“I guess Georgie wasn’t exactly planned, and when Gloria died giving birth to her, Kirk was going to put her up for adoption.”

“But you didn’t want that,” I guessed.

Ben dropped his eyes again. “I know a lot of adopted kids end up in good homes. I mean, I did, originally, but I couldn’t risk it.” Ben must have noticed my confusion because he added, “I was adopted by my mom and dad when I was a baby. I became a ward of the state when they died, and that’s how I ended up with Kirk and Gloria.”

“Your parents were good to you?” I asked, almost afraid to hear his answer.

He smiled even as his eyes got watery. “The best,” he said softly.

I squeezed his fingers, and when he went to twine them with mine, I let him.

“So you were hoping to raise Georgie yourself?” I prodded.

He nodded. “I have been. Kirk has legal custody of her, but I do everything for her. I was hoping I could convince him to give up his rights someday, but I ended up being a kind of cash cow to him.”

I nodded in understanding. My heart hurt for Ben as I considered how tough it must have been to raise a baby by himself. I’d been right… he was most definitely a survivor.

“I didn’t like leaving Georgie with Kirk while I was in Dallas, but I didn’t have a choice. Her regular babysitter was visiting family so there was no one else. Since I couldn’t take her with me…”

His desperation to explain himself was painful to watch. “It’s okay, Ben. I get it. I would have done exactly the same thing.” When he seemed a little more relaxed, I asked, “How did she end up in California?”

“A few months ago, Kirk started this new business venture… he was always looking for the next get-rich-quick scheme. Anyway, he started buying the contents of storage units at auction and then going through them and looking for things he thought he could resell for a hefty profit. It never worked, of course, but he was obsessed with it. He started with just the Atlanta area, then started bidding on units in other states. He was convinced that he’d stumble on the belongings of some tech giant or celebrity if he started buying stuff from units out here in California. I guess he finally won an auction because he sent me a text saying he was taking Georgie to San Francisco and I should come get her when I was done with my interview.”

Ben paused to collect himself. At some point while I’d been cleaning up, he’d found Duckie because he was currently rubbing the little square of fabric between the fingers of his free hand. When he didn’t continue on his own, I shifted closer to the head of the bed and ran my fingers through his short hair. “What happened, baby?”

He let out a little choking sound at the endearment. “When I got to the motel, I heard shouting coming from the room Kirk and Georgie were staying in. I could hear Georgie crying inside so I began pounding on the door. When Kirk didn’t open it, I began saying I’d call the cops if he didn’t. Everything… everything just happened so fast after that.” Ben began to cry. “I couldn’t stop them. One of the guys hit me… and then they were telling Kirk not to fuck around with them… and then they were dragging Georgie out of there, and she grabbed onto me but I couldn’t hold on. I tried to go after them, but then they just started hitting me and I couldn’t get back up and she was calling for me, Reese! She was calling for me!”

I pulled a nearly hysterical Ben into my arms and wrapped my arms around him as gently as I could. He fisted his fingers into my shirt as he sobbed against my neck.

“They took my phone and my wallet and told me not to tell anyone or they’d kill Georgie. I blacked out, and when I came to, Kirk was gone and all that was left in the room was Duckie.”

“We’ll get her back, Ben. She’ll be okay,” I whispered fiercely, though I knew it was a promise I couldn’t necessarily keep. I put my hand at the back of his head and held him like that until he’d calmed down. I released him when he went to pull back before handing him the box of tissues that was sitting on the nightstand.

“I shouldn’t have left her. I knew Kirk couldn’t be trusted with her,” Ben said quietly as he wiped at his face.

“Do you know where Kirk is?”

Ben shook his head. “He didn’t do anything to try and stop them. Just kept saying he didn’t know what they were talking about and they’d made a mistake and to not hurt him. Him.”

He practically spat the last word.

“There was nothing else in the room? You didn’t hear them say what they were looking for?”

“The room was trashed. I, um, don’t think Georgie and Kirk were actually staying in the room because there were no clothes in it or anything. Just Duckie. Georgie never goes anywhere without Duckie.”

The fact that Ben wouldn’t look at me as he spoke would have had warning bells going off in my head if I hadn’t already known about the note in his pocket.

The one with the address on it.

I knew it was possible he’d written the address down himself sometime after the attack, but the fact was that he wasn’t telling me about it.

He was deliberately choosing to keep that fact from me.

Because he doesn’t fully trust you.

The reality of that truth stung but it wasn’t like I had a leg to stand on, considering I hadn’t exactly been up front with him about everything.

“I don’t know what they were looking for. Maybe… maybe Kirk was right and it was all a terrible mistake… what if they thought he was someone else?”

I doubted that, but I didn’t say it. I had my own suspicions but kept them to myself.

“What happened after you realized Georgie and Kirk were gone?” I asked.

“I was going to call the police from the room, but then I remembered their warning. I thought for sure someone from the motel would have called the cops, but they didn’t come.”

“People have a convenient way of looking the other direction when shit like that happens… especially in neighborhoods where the cops aren’t exactly a good thing.”

Ben nodded. “I don’t remember exactly what happened after that. I guess I just started walking and must have passed out somewhere. When I came to, I was in the ER. The police showed up to question me, but I was terrified of what would happen to Georgie if the cops found out about her… they might put something like that on the news and then the guys who took her would know I talked…”

“And there’s been no word from Kirk?”

“I tried calling his cell but it just goes to voicemail right away.”

I leaned across to the nightstand and grabbed the motel’s pen and pad of paper and handed it to Ben. “Can you write down his number? I can have a colleague check it.” Ben began shaking his head so I quickly added, “I won’t tell my colleague anything about your case.”

Ben seemed to flinch, and I wondered if it was because I’d referred to the situation as a “case.” I considered clarifying, but when he took the pad, I kept silent. Things had gotten way too heavy as it was, and I couldn’t get in any deeper with this man. Everything that had happened between us had been built on my lies, and even though I could justify why I’d kept the truth from him in my head, I could barely stomach my own dishonesty.

It was all too fucking familiar.

How many people had lied to me for what’d they’d said was ‘my own good’?

And here I was doing the same thing to Ben.

What a fucking mess.

I waited until Ben handed me the pad before tucking the top page into my pocket. I’d have to have Cain run the number and update Ronan with all the details of what I’d learned so they could come up with a plan. This thing had gotten too big for just me to handle.

“Do you remember anything else, Ben?” I asked. “Anything we can use to figure out who took Georgie?”

Ben shook his head. “Do you… do you think they want money because I have a little bit saved up and I… I might know someone I could borrow some from…”

The desperation was back in his voice.

I actually wished I could tell him yes, but my gut was telling me things weren’t as simple as that. So I settled for saying, “If you have online access to your phone, we can check your account to see if you have any voicemails.”

“Okay, yeah,” Ben said eagerly.

I used my phone to log into his account as he gave me the online information. I made a mental note to have Cain follow up with our tech expert on tracking Ben’s phone as well as Kirk’s on the off chance the people who’d taken it had it turned on. Ben’s disappointment was palpable when his account showed no recent calls or voicemails.

“Who’s the someone you know who could lend you money?” I asked.

Ben went stiff as a board, then shook his head. “No one. I, um, don’t want to shake that tree unless I know I have to.”

The non-answer frustrated me, but I let it go.

“What happens next?” Ben asked. He was playing with Duckie again.

“I’ll reach out to my colleague and see what we can find out about Kirk’s phone.”

“How long will that take?”

“It’ll take a little time,” I hedged. “Why don’t you take some more pain pills and get some rest?” I offered.

“No, I don’t want to take any more of that shit. It leaves me too fuzzy.” Ben’s voice cracked as the helplessness seemed to overtake him. I could see he was barely holding it together.

“Ben—”

“I’m fine,” he cut in as he straightened and then carefully eased off the other side of the bed. “I’m fine… I just need to… wash my face.”

Ben took Duckie with him as he went to the bathroom and closed the door. I sent a quick text to Cain to have him start running Kirk’s and Ben’s phone numbers and added a note about updating him in person that night when Ben was asleep. I tucked my phone into my pocket and waited for Ben to come back to the main room, but when he didn’t, I got up and went to the bathroom.

I could hear the water running, but I knew in my gut what he was really doing so I turned the knob and pushed the door open. The water in the sink was indeed running, but Ben was doing exactly what I’d thought.

Sitting on the floor, softly crying.

His back was against the wall next to the door and he had his knees tucked up against his body. His head was on his knees as he sobbed.

The bathroom was tiny but I somehow managed to fit my body so I was sitting in front of him. I reached out to touch his hair. He shook his head. His pain was palpable as he cried, and before I could even consider what I was doing, I pulled him onto my lap so he was straddling me.

“I’m sorry,” he hiccupped.

“For what?” I asked gently.

“I’m not what you said.” Before I could ask what he meant, he continued. “I’m not tough,” he said as he wiped at his face. He used the sleeves of his shirt—well, my shirt, actually, since he was wearing my clothes—to try and clean himself up.

But he was a mess.

A beautiful, perfect mess.

And I wanted him so badly, I could feel it in my bones.

“I’m a mess,” he added with a watery laugh as his wet eyes met mine. I brushed an eyelash off his cheek, but it was really just an excuse to touch him.

“You’re beautiful, Ben. Just so fucking beautiful.”

And then I did exactly what I’d promised myself I wouldn’t.

I kissed him.