It wasn’t unusual for me to wake up alone in the mornings, but over the past couple of weeks, I’d usually at least had the sounds of Reese and Georgie talking or watching cartoons to distract me as I tried to shake off the fog of sleep. This morning, the cabin was obscenely quiet and I didn’t like it one bit.

I quickly turned my body until I found the chair where Reese had been keeping his duffel bag full of clothes. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it still sitting there. I knew it was silly to think he might have actually snuck out in the middle of the night, but my brain hadn’t exactly been working according to reason the last few days. If it had been, I wouldn’t have even entertained the possibility of what Reese had seemingly admitted to the night before.

I’m not going anywhere because I’m falling so hard and so fast for you that I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to.

It wasn’t the three little words I’d so often dreamed of a guy saying to me, but fuck if it wasn’t a thousand times better. Anyone could say “I love you,” but leave it to Reese to say just the right words that left such an emotional punch that I could barely breathe with how good they made me feel. I’d thought for sure after I’d told him about how weak and cowardly I’d been when it came to both confronting Griff when I’d been seventeen and my decision to selfishly keep Georgie for myself, that Reese would turn away from me or just go silent and let whatever this was between us die a silent death, but he was still here.

He’d stayed all night in bed with me, with Georgie squashed between us, and if the presence of his duffel bag was anything to go by, he was still here.

Just not here at the moment.

I turned over so I could get a whiff of his pillow when I spied a note propped up against the lamp on Reese’s nightstand. I couldn’t make out the words from where I was, but there was no mistaking the little heart drawing at the end of the note next to a big “R.” I smiled what was probably the goofiest grin in the world as I reached for the note.

Good morning beautiful,

Didn’t want to risk waking you with a text so I’m going old-school. Took Georgie and the ugliest, most horrifying pet on the planet to visit Ronan and Jamie and then I need to do a perimeter check.

Cain will stay with Georgie today so go do something just for you. Phoenix will shadow you until I get back. Maybe I’ll find you napping in bed… or checking out our stall in the barn… or that gorgeous hot tub we haven’t made use of yet (hint, hint). Love, R.

I giggled, yes, giggled at the cute little, very unmanly heart drawing and then read the note again. I stayed in bed for a little longer, but thoughts of Griff were at the forefront of my mind and I soon found myself too restless to stay still any longer. I carefully folded Reese’s note up and then tucked it into my pocket once I was dressed. Phoenix was waiting for me outside the front door.

“How’d you know?” I asked as I motioned to the door.

“Didn’t. Reese figured you wouldn’t stay in bed all day.”

“He did, huh?” I asked, unable to hide my smile.

“He’s a perceptive one.”

I nodded because Reese was definitely that and much more.

“He also said the first thing you’d want to do was check on Georgie.”

I laughed. “Yeah. I know she’s okay, but—”

“I have two kids, Ben,” Phoenix said. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” the man added with a smile. As we walked toward the cabin Ronan and Jamie were using, I asked Phoenix about his husband, Levi, and their two young children. In learning more about the various men who were protecting me and Georgie at the vineyard, I’d figured out one common theme.

Well, two actually.

First off, a good deal of them were gay.

But secondly, and much more surprisingly, the men treated each other like so much more than colleagues or teammates. Simply put, they were family.

And just like the Marians, most of them didn’t share even a drop of blood between them. They were family because they’d chosen to be, not because they were obligated to be.

It made me consider my own circumstances, and as Phoenix and I made our way through a small grove of trees, I couldn’t help but fall silent as I considered Reese’s confusing words from the night before.

I want you to make sure that if you tell Griff it’s too late, it’s because you don’t want him in your life, not because you do.

I still couldn’t quite make sense of his statement, but I knew he’d said it for a reason. And he hadn’t told me which decision to reach, but I’d gotten the impression he’d support me no matter what I decided to do. My head began to thrum as I considered my options, but I was no closer to finding any answers when the path narrowed and Phoenix and I had to walk single file. I nearly ran into him when he stopped near the clearing at the back of Ronan and Jamie’s cabin.

I was about to ask if everything was okay when I saw Cain heading toward us.

“Where is she? Is she okay?” I asked nervously.

“She’s fine,” Cain said. “She’s just up there.” He pointed to a small rise near a cluster of trees. I saw sunlight reflecting off Georgie’s blonde hair. I could hear the soft lilt of her voice as she spoke to someone, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying.

“Ronan and Jamie had to leave to go pick up Seth and the girls.”

“Ronan’s husband?” I asked. “They’re coming here?”

Cain nodded. “They usually don’t spend this much time apart, so it was time for a visit.”

I was about to ask why Ronan hadn’t just gone home when the answer occurred to me. Ronan, and probably Jamie too, had stayed so long at the vineyard for me and Georgie. Ronan, so he could help look out for me, and Jamie, because he was Georgie’s friend.

I was feeling overwhelmed at the idea of these men starting to treat me and Georgie like we really meant something to them, so I quickly said, “I’m just going to go say hi to her.”

I moved past the men and up to the edge of the clearing. Since Jamie and Ronan were gone, I’d just assumed Georgie was talking to Princess Kitty or her dolls like she was prone to do at home, so I wasn’t expecting the sight that greeted me.

Georgie was, in fact, with Princess Kitty. But they weren’t alone.

“And what’s this one’s name?” Griff asked my sister as he pointed to something on his arm.

I had a good view of Georgie, but my view of Griff was slightly obstructed. Instead of calling out to Georgie, I quietly moved until I could see my brother. He was sitting cross-legged with his back against a tree. His left arm was extended with the shirt sleeve rolled up. Propped up against the tree next to him was what looked like a sketchpad. I could see enough of the drawing to see it looked a lot like my sister.

Georgie was only a few inches from Griff and like him, she was sitting cross-legged. Princess Kitty was in her carrier next to Griff, who kept glancing down at the big spider like he was making sure the creature hadn’t magically disappeared from the plastic container.

“Ryder,” Georgie said. She was digging with her fingers in the dirt around her and Griff. I knew immediately what she was doing, because she did it often at the park.

She was exploring for bugs.

“And what kind is he?” Griff asked.

“A slug,” my sister said matter-of-factly.

I watched in disbelief as she picked up a daddy longlegs and put it on Griff’s arm. My brother looked like he was going to pass out. But his voice was even, if not a little breathless, when he said, “And that one?”

Georgie peered at the spider, which was making its way up Griff’s arm. “Marshall. He’s a Daddy longlegs… ’cause he’s got long legs.”

Just as the spider reached Griff’s shoulder, Georgie put out her hand to let the spider crawl into it instead. Griff looked visibly relieved, but he made no effort to get rid of the other bugs on his arm. Something in my chest went tight at knowing he was letting my sister use him as a canvas to explore more clearly all the bugs that fascinated her.

“Ryder and Marshall are from Paw Patrol, right?”

Georgie nodded. “Daddy doesn’t like when I watch cartoons ’cause they give him an ache.”

“A headache?” Griff clarified.

Georgie shrugged. “It’s only when he smells bad. He starts being mean but Benji makes him stop.”

I felt my pulse tick up because I knew exactly what Georgie was talking about, and I hadn’t realized how much she’d really remembered Kirk’s behavior after his benders. Luckily, he’d never been physically violent with either Georgie or me, but he also had no idea how to curb his behavior around a child.

“How does Benji make him stop?”

I wanted to intervene and tell Griff it was nothing, but I was too caught up in my own memory of those moments when I’d gone to live with Kirk and Gloria and I’d learned that my foster father said some cruel shit when he was drunk. I’d tried to protect Georgie as much as I could, but there’d been times when I hadn’t been quick enough in getting up in the morning to intervene.

“Makes Daddy yell at him instead. Then we go to the park to look for bugs and have ice cream. Or I get to watch TV in Benji’s room.”

I saw the frown on Griff’s face as Georgie put some kind of beetle on his arm, but I knew his emotions weren’t directed at my sister.

I told myself not to read too much into it and to make them aware of my presence, but then Georgie asked, “Are you my uncle?”

Her question startled me, and Griff seemed equally surprised. Though we shouldn’t have been, since she was a smart little girl and probably hadn’t missed how much Griff and I had been fighting.

“Is that what your brother called me?”

Georgie shook her head. “Jamie said so. He’s got lots of uncles. He says I can have some of his if you and Benji can’t make up.”

“That’s a really nice offer, and you should take Jamie up on it no matter what, okay? Because you can never have too much family.”

Georgie looked up at him. The daddy longlegs was still crawling between her hands as she moved them in a stepladder motion. “So you and Benji are gonna stay mad?”

I could feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes, but I didn’t know why. And I didn’t know why I was holding my breath while waiting for Griff’s response.

“Sometimes people say and do things they can’t take back, no matter how sorry they are and no matter how different they want things to be.”

Georgie lowered her hand so the spider could climb off. “Do you think Ben and me are fweaks like Daddy does?”

I covered my mouth with my hand, barely managing to stifle a sob. Kirk had called me a “freak” more times than I could count, but I hadn’t realized that Georgie had overheard any of those conversations.

Or that he’d called her the same name.

Griff’s jaw went hard for a moment, but fortunately Georgie wasn’t looking at him. I took a step forward to go to Georgie when Griff reached out to tip her chin up so she had no choice but to look at him.

“I’m a freak,” Griff announced. “Just like my husband Sam is a freak and your Uncle Blue and Tristan are freaks. And your Uncle Jude and Uncle Derek. And Uncle Nico. Uncle Mav and Uncle Beau, Uncle Dante and Uncle A.J. Even uncles you don’t know yet, like Jamie and Teddy, who are away on an adventure, and Thad who’s a goofball. Your Aunt Simone and your Uncle Peter and your Aunt Ginger. And Grandma Rebecca and Grandpa Thomas. And remember Aunt Tilly and Granny and Granny Irene? They’re huge freaks. All the Marians are. And you want to know why?”

Georgie had gone wide-eyed at the list of names he’d rattled off.

“Because freaks are special and unique and amazing.” He motioned to the bug on his arm. “I bet you love all these bugs, right?”

Georgie nodded.

“Do you love them because they’re all the same? Because they all look and act like each other?”

“No,” Georgie said fervently. “They’re different.”

“Do you like this caterpillar better than you like this one?” Griff asked as he pointed first to a caterpillar on his arm, then to one on Georgie’s knee.

“No, ’cause then they’d be the same butterfly someday, and I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.” She looked at Griff like he was completely clueless.

“Well, there are some people out there who think things should only be the same. Even people. Can you imagine us Marians if we all looked and talked the same? We’d be pretty boring, huh? Jamie’s uncles too.”

I laughed into my arm as I thought about his words. Georgie looked completely horrified by the idea.

“So it’s okay to be a fweak?”

Griff nodded. “Absolutely! And anyone who tells you any different, you just tell them to come talk to your Uncle Griff about it, okay?”

It was through blurry tears that I watched Griff carefully reach down to put an arm around Georgie and give her a little squeeze. I tried to be silent as wave after wave of pain and relief hit me all at once. I mourned the loss of the family I’d never had a chance to be a part of but was so damn grateful for the little girl who’d been given to me.

I gave up trying to quiet the sobs that bubbled up. My body hurt as one sob after another came out. I heard my sister calling my name, but I couldn’t get control of them long enough to respond.

Why hadn’t I tried harder to contact Griff? I no longer had any doubts that what Nico had told me about my big brother was anything but true. I’d blamed Griff for so long for everything, but the truth was it had been my fault. I’d been too much of a coward to try to reach out a second time. And I hadn’t given Griff a chance to explain things in the past few weeks because I hadn’t wanted to know… I hadn’t wanted to face the truth… that I’d risk losing him all over again if he’d found me lacking like I’d known he would.

I let out a guttural laugh that wasn’t really a laugh when Reese’s words suddenly clicked into place. He’d been absolutely right. I was afraid that if Griff became a part of my life like I really wanted him to and then he rejected me, I wouldn’t survive it a second time.

Only, he hadn’t rejected me.

I hadn’t given him a chance to.

“Ben?”

I shook my head at Griff’s voice. I could tell he was a little closer to me, but it wasn’t until I looked up through watery eyes that I realized he was only about ten feet away… I let out another laugh as I realized he wasn’t much closer to me now than he’d been the day I’d gone to the Marian house and seen them all chatting in the driveway.

“I’m sorry,” I choked out. My face felt hot and my head hurt from how hard I was crying. My eyes ached and my throat felt like it would close up at any second. I was a snotty, disgusting mess but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t get control of myself. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Ben,” Griff said gently, his voice teeming with distress.

“I should have waited until you saw me. I… I should have crossed the street.”

Griff clearly had no clue what I was talking about, but instead of questioning me or apologizing or saying anything at all, he strode forward. He didn’t even slow as he reached me. I covered my face with my hands as he neared me, but that didn’t stop him even a little bit. Instead, his arms went around me and he squeezed me hard. It felt so good I just ended up crying even harder. When Griff spoke, his words washed over me like a balm and stripped away what little defenses I had left.

“It’s okay, little brother. I’m here now. I’m here.”