Chapter 1

Mayhem

 

“Hey, motherfucker! Get off the goddamn roof!” Declan yells up at me as I look over the edge. I just grin at him. Who the fuck is he to tell me what to do?

“Get fucked! It’s quiet up here!” He shakes his head before walking back inside. I drop back onto my back and finish smoking the joint that lingers between my fingers.

I inhale and close my eyes, letting the rest of the world fade away. Sometimes I wish it would. You know that feeling you get when enough is enough and you just want to say fuck it and hide? That’s my mood today. The sulking, brooding, fuck you kind.

“Church!” I hear my dad, Blu, yell signaling it’s time to have a meeting. I know that’s more for me than the rest of the guys. When I refused to come in earlier, the motherfucker threatened to set the goddamn clubhouse on fire. I blow out a ring of smoke before shoving off the roof. With my joint hanging between my lips, I grab the edge of the gutter and swing my legs over the side. I drop to the ground, landing on my feet.

“How nice of you to join us, Spiderman,” Tic, my brother, says when he looks up at me.

“I didn’t wanna join you. That’s why I was up there,” I say in the most annoyed tone I can manage as I shove past him and walk inside.

Some days you just need to be alone. Some days you just need a goddamn break from the rest of the world, but living as part of this MC, you don’t get that often. You can at least dream, right? I walk into the office and drop into my chair, glancing at the other guys.

“What the fuck has your dick so twisted?” my pop asks when he sees my face.

I glare at him like he’s insane before I say, “You know what day it is.”

He seems to think about that one for a minute before a somber look passes over him.

“Fuck, Mayhem. I didn’t think,” he says softly.

I wave my hand through the air before I tell him, “It’s fine. You’d think I’d be over that shit already.” I grab the cigarettes out of my cut and light one up. Four years ago. That’s when Becca died. That’s when I died. You’d think someone like me would get over it, but here I am still a raging piece of shit. My heart still feels like it’s in a million little pieces, and I have no idea how to put it back together. Thankfully, pop gives me a sad smile letting me know that conversation is done for now.

“We have a new shipment of guns comin’ in on Friday. I also have the fuckin’ meetin’ with Bill tomorrow,” Blu says. I grumble at the thought.

Bill is the local mayor. Soulless Bastards have had him in their pocket for as long as I’ve been alive. The motherfucker is old as shit, but he works well with this club and we use that to our advantage as far as the money part goes. He pays well. I glance around at the looks on the other guys’ faces before I ask, “What the hell does he want?”

My dad scrubs his hand over his face before looking up. “From what he said on the phone, he’s gonna need a security team for his kid.” We all glance around a little confused.

“Since when is his kid around?” Declan asks the question we’re all wondering.

“Fuck if I know. Since he drug her ass back from overseas. I don’t know shit about it. All I know is she’s been gone for years,” he says.

We all shrug and go with it. We always run a lot of security for him so I assume this one won’t be much different, and if it’s his kid involved, maybe the pay will be higher.

“Heard that. We got it covered whatever it is.” Tic adds.

“The shipment Friday is gonna need security too, and we are votin’ on Monster this Saturday. We got a shit ton to take care of this week. Anyone have anything else to bring to the table?” Blu looks around at everyone, but no one says a word.

“That’s all I got then.” He slams the gavel onto the table before the guys all stand. I watch them all leave as I stay planted in my seat smoking my cigarette.

“You ok?” my dad asks, shifting to move closer to me. He knows me. He knows I won’t talk about it.

“I’ll live.”

“You don’t have to keep livin’ like this, Mayhem,” he says, running his hand over his exasperated face.

“Like what, Pop? Like I lost the only fuckin’ thing I ever cared about?” I snap. I’m not in the mood for this shit. Shoving out of the chair, I head for the door when his voice stops me.

“We all grieve differently, Son. I get it. I just wish you’d move forward.”

I stomp from the room lost in my head and not wanting to hear anything he has to say right now. I hate that I can’t move past this. I hate that I feel the way I do, but what the hell can I do? How do you move past something like that?