Chapter 17

Mayhem

 

I’m going to kill her or spank her. Spanking sounds a lot better to me. Mouthy little shit. Did she really think that threatening me with fucking one of my boys was going to work? Nice fucking try on her part. That won’t happen. I’ll make sure none of them even look her way. Wait…what the hell am I thinking? I’m completely fucked up in the head. I shouldn’t care who she’s with but I do.

I drive us down the highway, letting the cool night air rush around me. I decided to take the long way back to the clubhouse tonight. I just wanted to feel that freedom a little while longer. It’s comforting to ride. It’s even better with Tay’s hands wrapped around my waist. She feels like she’s supposed to be there. It’s wrong, I know it is, but I can’t help what I feel. I’m so lost in my own thoughts that the sound of a gunshot goes unnoticed until my mirror explodes into a little glass rain.

“Fuck!” I roar checking my other mirror. Two bikes are following us. I can’t see who they are. Tay has her hands gripping my shirt. Her heart is slamming in her chest, I can feel it. I release the handlebar and grip her thigh. Turning my head slightly, I tell her, “Grab my phone. Dial whoever you click first. Hold it to my ear.” I watch the road ahead as I increase our speed. I feel the phone next to my ear.

“Yo, Mayhem!” Tic hollers into the phone.

“Shots fired Tic. Two bikes on the forty-three. I’m headin’ your way. Lock it the fuck down.” I roar into the phone. I hear him mumble the word shit before the line goes dead. I nod my head for Tay to move the phone.

“Hold on tight. Shit’s about to get fast,” I tell her. Her hands tighten around my waist. Her nails nearly dig into my skin. I hate that she’s in the middle of this. This is my fucking fault. I should have stayed at her place and never have brought her out! I weave through traffic, but I still hear the bullets whipping past us. This is pissing me off. A growl vibrates deep in my chest. I will rip their fucking heads off as soon as I know who they are. I spot our exit and speed us toward it. I pay careful attention to the bastards behind us. They follow closely, but as soon as I get off the exit, I’m gone. I fly down the backroads until the clubhouse is in view.

I see a few of the guys standing guard with guns. At least Tic took this shit seriously. The gates open when they see me. I pull in and park, watching as my dad, Declan, and Tic all storm toward me.

“You ok?” my dad asks first. I nod and climb off, reaching for Tay. Her body shakes with fear.

“Two bikes. Didn’t see cuts.” I’m pissed. I almost want to head back out there and find the motherfuckers.

“Hit your bike?” Tic says looking around me.

“Yeah. Get one of the prospects to fix that shit.” I grab Tay’s hand and lead her toward the door.

“Thank fuck you weren’t hit. We got Dip in there pullin’ footage.” Declan’s hand lands on my shoulder.

I sigh and say, “Good. As soon as you find them motherfuckers, I want them.”

I lead Tay over to the bar and sit her trembling body on a stool. My dad watches me for a second before sliding his gaze to Tay. I don’t know what the hell he’s looking at. He pulls his gaze back to mine, his head cocking to the side.

“You brought her here.”

It wasn’t a question. I know what he’s thinking. I’ve never really brought a girl around here aside from Becca. I mean, Tay was here that one night of the party but that was different.

“So?” I ask, grabbing a beer. I pop the top off and take a long pull while he studies me.

“So? So, you never brought anyone here since-”

I raise my hand to stop him. I don’t need the fucking replay of my life. I know it already. I live it every fucking day.

I reach behind the bar and grab another beer and the vodka before walking off. I know she’s ok here with the guys. No one will mess with her. I head out the back door ignoring all the people trying to talk to me. I climb the ladder to the roof. This is my solace. This is the one place I can hide and avoid everyone.

I unscrew the lid and swallow big long gulps of vodka letting the burn take away all the anger I feel. I lie back and look up at the stars in the sky. I wonder if she’s ok where she is? I never really mourned her death. I just made my way, day by day. I had to do what I had to do to stay alive even on those days I wanted to die. And trust me when I say, there were a lot of days that I wanted to end it all. Nothing was ever easy for me. My dad did the best he could, but I pushed everyone away. I still do. It was four fucking years ago, but I still can’t shake the feelings I have rolling around inside of me.

The hurt.

The pain.

It’s all still so real.