Chapter 10

Taylor

I’ve spent most of my days sitting inside with Minnie. Mayhem shocked me when he kissed me that night. It hurt worse when he pulled away and said that he wasn’t my savior. I don’t know what I was looking for in him but that wasn’t it. It’s been weeks since that night. Mayhem made us leave the party right after that, and he hasn’t said much to me in the time since. To say I feel rejected would be an understatement. I thought there was something different in his eyes that night, something caring.

He’s been pretty silent and avoiding me for the most part when he’s here. I don’t care, though. I texted Freddy from the diner and asked if he wanted to come hang out with me tonight. I know it was probably wrong, but I need to feel something. Anything. I feel so damn alone, and it hurts. I can honestly say that other than his looks, I don’t feel much of anything toward Freddy. He’s more of a temporary fix to the need I have growing inside of me. The need to feel wanted.

Mayhem sits on the couch, flipping through channels like he always does, biting off his burger, and tossing pieces to Minnie. She’s grown on him, even if he won’t openly admit it. She gladly sits and eats it, too. But he seems off tonight. I don’t know what’s wrong, but this isn’t his normal attitude.

That night at the party, I saw something different in him. He wasn’t just the biker that my dad sent to watch me. He was something more. He was a safe place. He was a protector and something that I want. Even though he pushed me away after our kiss, there was something more to it and I’m not ready to let that go yet. I don’t know when things changed. I don’t know when I started thinking about him in ways I know I shouldn’t. He’s been here for weeks, and all I can think about was the way he felt pressed against me that night.  I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I do know I want to make Mayhem notice me. I want him to look at me and want me. I don’t know why but I do. That’s become the number one goal in my life. To make that man notice me.

I hear the knock on the door, pulling me out of my thoughts, and rush toward it. I pull the door open, and before Freddy can get inside, I throw myself into his arms. I kiss him roughly, his hands holding me up by my ass. My legs wrap around his waist.

“That’s a nice hello,” he says kissing my neck. My body burns for this. I need it. I need to feel wanted even if it’s not who I really want.

“Bedroom,” I breathe heavily. He kisses me again and walks through the living room. I open my eyes and peek at Mayhem. He doesn’t seem to notice anything that’s happening. It pisses me off. Freddy kicks the door shut to my bedroom before heading toward the bed.

“I didn’t think you’d call,” he says breathlessly. I can feel how hard he is through his jeans. He stretches out on top of me, kissing and grinding against me.

“I just need this.” I moan as his lips run over my neck. My body writhes beneath him. I want him, don’t I?

Oh, get over yourself, Taylor. You don’t really want him. Do you really want to lose your virginity to this guy? No, you want the brooding one out in the living room. The one that awoke something deep inside that I can’t control. Mayhem is the one I want, the one that control this fire that’s burning inside of me.

“I can give you what you need,” Freddy says, pulling his shirt off quickly. His abs are perfect. The tight muscles begging to be touched, just not by me. Reality is a slap to the face.

“Can we slow down?” I ask nervously. He looks down at me and nods.

“Let me please you, Taylor,” he whispers. He moves down my body, pulling my shorts off quickly. My panties go next, and all the emotions I have inside of me are screaming to stop this. I’m torn between letting myself go and feeling something and stopping it all together.

“God, Taylor,” Freddy groans. He dips his head between my legs, and as soon as his tongue touches me, I feel sick. This is wrong. This is so wrong. I don’t want him. I don’t want his mouth on me. So why can’t I force myself to say no? I push at his head when I hear Mayhem.

“If she ain’t screamin’, you ain’t doin’ it right!”

I can hear him chuckle through the door before he walks away. Freddy’s head pops up, his eyes finding mine.

“I’m not doing it right, huh?”

I can see the anger in his eyes. The words that Mayhem just said pissed him off, although I don’t know why. Freddy’s whole demeanor has changed. It’s like he was challenged in some sort of unspoken man code.

“I didn’t say that.” His features change. His hands grip me a little harder, causing a slight pain.

“I’ll show you how to scream,” he says, gritting his teeth.

My body trembles. He’s scaring me. The nice guy that I met at the diner is gone. I don’t know who the hell this guy is. This was definitely a bad decision.

“I think we should just stop. You should go,” I tell him. His eyes flicker with danger.

“Fuck that. You’ve teased me all night.” He reaches one hand down and grabs my pussy in his hand. It hurts. Pain rockets through me.

“Stop!” I scream once, my eyes clenched tightly closed. His mouth comes to mine, silencing me. The door makes a hideous cracking sound before Freddy’s lips leave mine. He is holding my arms tightly at my sides when I open my eyes and look over to see Mayhem standing there with his hands clenched at his sides. His nostrils flare. He’s pissed. Minnie’s running around and barking at his feet.

“She said stop, motherfucker.”

Before I can register what’s happening, Freddy is being yanked off me. Mayhem slams a fist into his stomach, knocking the air from his lungs. I yelp when I see the pain in Freddy’s face.

“You picked the wrong one!” Mayhem roars.