When I noticed Rafe and Alex coming toward me I was surprised, but when I saw Lance was with them, I almost fell off my barstool. My face froze in a polite smile, and Brandon stiffened beside me.
“Fancy meeting you here.” Alex slapped my shoulder and grinned.
Rafe acknowledged Brandon and the two men shook hands. “This is a surprise.” Brandon’s voice was stiff, and his face seemed to flush with irritation when he saw Lance.
Lance appeared uneasy. His smile didn’t reach his eyes, and he wouldn’t look at me. “Nice to see you again, Brandon.”
My pulse picked up the second I’d laid eyes on Lance. My entire body responded to the sight of him with a warm flush of attraction. I was embarrassed I had no control over my feelings toward him.
Rafe and Alex shook my hand, so I had to shake Lance’s too. It would have been weird to avoid greeting him. But when our hands met, it felt so good to touch him I almost whimpered.
“How have you been?” Lance’s voice was husky, and his eyes fell to my mouth.
“Fine.” I pulled my hand away and met Brandon’s irritable stare.
“We ran into this guy down the way and decided to come have a drink together.” Alex put his arm around Lance’s shoulder.
Lance gave a weak smile. “Yeah. It was a real coincidence.”
“I’ll bet,” Brandon grumbled.
“Do you mind if we join you?” Rafe asked, his curious gaze pinned on me.
There wasn’t much I could do since there were three empty seats right next to me and Brandon. “Sure. We’re just waiting for our table.”
“Please, sit.” Brandon waved to the empty stools with very little enthusiasm.
Rafe and Alex sat quickly on the other side of Brandon, leaving the seat next to me open for Lance. He hesitated, and then he slid onto the stool. His back was straight, and he looked really uncomfortable.
The bartender came over right away and we all ordered drinks. It irked me a little that the bartender seemed interested in Lance. He smiled and flirted with him way more than any of the rest of us. Maybe it was because the rest of us seemed to be coupled up. But whatever the reason, I found his attentiveness to Lance aggravating.
It was a tight fit at the bar, and Lance’s leg was pressed to mine. It was impossible to ignore how good it felt to be touching him again. As weird as our situation was at the moment, that didn’t stop me from feeling the intense attraction I’d always felt for him. My cock warmed and pressed against my zipper as his spicy cologne reached my nose.
“Have you eaten here before?” Alex asked Brandon.
“Uh, yeah. A couple of times.” He smiled at me. “I thought Scottie might like a margarita after a long day at work.”
I held up my half-empty glass. “Cheers.” Since Brandon and I were the only ones with drinks, it was a silly thing to say. But Brandon latched on to it, and he bumped my glass with his.
Lance didn’t say anything. I could sense tension in his body, and his shoulders were bunched. I was still confused about the situation with his dad. But seeing him again brought back so many powerful feelings, and it was hard to ignore them.
The bartender served our drinks, and it wasn’t lost on me he also slipped Lance his phone number. My anger rose when Lance tucked it in his pocket. Was he interested in that guy? I knew I had no business being jealous since I’d broken things off, but I was.
Alex and Rafe seemed determined to keep Brandon distracted, and I couldn’t help but wonder if this was some sort of setup. It seemed unlikely my sensible boss and his husband would orchestrate an ambush on me. But it also seemed hard to believe the three of them had just innocently run into each other and descended upon me and Brandon.
“You look well.” Lance’s soft words broke into my suspicious thoughts.
God, I loved the sound of his voice. I bit my lip against the desire to touch him. My fingers itched with the urge to wrap around his wrist and feel his warm flesh beneath mine. Brandon was a nice distraction, but I longed for Lance. I ached for him. Ignoring his voice mails had been hard, but ignoring him in person was torture.
“So do you.”
He turned his head and met my gaze. His eyes were heated and sad. I hated seeing him hurt, but he was an unwilling player in what had happened between me and his father.
“Is this a work meeting, or are you and Brandon on an actual date?” His teeth seemed gritted as he spoke.
I knew Brandon wanted more, he’d never been secretive about his attraction to me. But I’d really just agreed to the dinner because I needed something to take my mind off Lance. I didn’t want Brandon in the way I needed Lance. But Brandon was uncomplicated, and things with Lance had gone into a territory I was ill equipped to handle.
“It’s a date.” My voice was hushed.
He winced as if I’d hit him, but he didn’t speak.
“Am I supposed to believe you three just wandered in here accidentally?” I kept my voice low because I didn’t want Brandon knowing my suspicions.
“Believe what you like.” He sounded less friendly.
The bartender came over and set a bowl of peanuts in front of Lance, and he winked. “On the house, cutie.”
My stomach clenched and it took a lot of control to not grab the peanuts and toss them at the guy.
“Thanks.” Lance attempted a smile.
I knew him well enough to know his heart wasn’t in the flirting. It comforted me knowing that, even as I felt confused about what to do about it. How could we be together? His father had helped another person get away with destroying me. I didn’t know how to move past that horrible truth.
“The bartender seems to like you.” My voice was stiff. I didn’t want to give in to my jealousy, but it was hard when the bartender kept circling Lance like a horny shark.
“Yeah, well that’s really none of your business anymore, is it?”
My face warmed. “I didn’t say I cared. I just noticed.”
“Maybe you should fuck Brandon tonight and get your mind off of who I’m fucking.” He downed half of his beer, and then he bumped the bottle down.
It occurred to me that he seemed a little tipsy. I hadn’t noticed at first, but now it was more apparent. “Are you drunk?”
“So what if I am?” He grumbled.
My mouth hardened. “Are you back to your old ways?”
He smirked. “I had another guy’s tongue down my throat earlier, so yeah, maybe I am.”
“How predictable.”
The spike of jealousy that shot through me left me breathless. It took all my self-control not to storm off to the bathroom to lick my wounds. I tried to tell myself that what he did didn’t matter to me, but it didn’t work. I knew only too well that I ached for him. This self-imposed breakup was killing me. Even as I tried to move on, I resented and dreaded the idea of him doing that.
He turned his body toward me, and his jaw was tense. “You know perfectly well you’re the one I really want.”
I curled my hands into a fist. “Don’t say that.”
“Why? It’s the truth.”
I shook my head. “I can’t just pretend what happened with your dad didn’t happen.”
He swallowed hard and his eyes filled with pain. “I didn’t do anything wrong, Scottie. Why are you punishing me?”
“We’re both being punished,” I whispered.
“That makes even less sense.” He frowned. “I thought maybe if we could talk…” He shook his head. “But it’s obvious you just want to bury your head in the sand, so it’s no use.”
“There’s no point in talking.”
“I don’t know how you can say that. Have you listened to any of my voice mails?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t want to hear your voice. It made it harder.”
“Well, if you’d bothered to listen to my messages you’d have heard that I found out why my dad defended Garrett.”
My stomach rolled at the mention of Garrett. “Let me guess: money?”
He scowled. “No, not money.” His face flushed. “My mom said that dad was good friends with Garrett’s dad growing up. He believed his friend when he said his son was innocent.”
Anger rushed through me. “Well, he was a liar, then, just like Garrett.”
“Or he simply believed his son, like most parents would. You said yourself Garrett and his friends got people to be witnesses for them.”
Confusion filled me and I blinked at him in silence.
“My father would have been horrified and disgusted to know that Garrett had tricked him. But the point is he didn’t know. And he was a good man who thought he was defending an innocent kid against false accusations.”
A nudge of guilt washed through me. “How would I have known that?”
“You couldn’t have at the time.” He frowned. “But if you’d listened to my voice mails, you’d have known this a week ago.”
His accusing tone put my back up. I knew he had every reason to be frustrated with me, but I had trouble ignoring my pride. “He’s still the reason Garrett got away with it.”
“Scottie, that’s not logical.”
I shrugged.
“It makes no difference to you?” He chuffed. “Seriously?”
I stubbornly held his gaze. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Wow.” He stared at me warily. “I’ve tried so hard with you.” He licked his lips, and his eyes glittered. “I was unbelievably patient with you with your… insecurities. But I can see you won’t even meet me halfway. As usual I have to do all the work in this relationship.”
My face warmed. “I’m sorry it was so hard on you being with me.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“What are you saying, then?” I snapped.
His mouth hardened. “Never mind.” He stood and his stool scraped across the wooden floor. “I guess I misread the depths of your feelings for me.”
I didn’t have the balls to apologize yet, even though I knew I was giving him the impression I didn’t care about him.
Alex glanced over. “Everything okay, you two?”
“Sure. Everything’s awesome.” Lance stomped toward the entrance, and he slammed out of the restaurant.
Brandon frowned at me when I slid off my stool. “Where are you going?”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I only knew when Lance stormed away something broke loose inside of me. I didn’t want to blame him for something his father had done anymore. I just wanted him back in my life. I still found the situation confusing, but my feelings for him were the one thing I was sure of. My life had been such shit until I met him, and when he walked away, it forced me to acknowledge I didn’t want to lose him forever.
I met Rafe’s curious gaze, and his expression softened. “You know Lance loves you, Scottie, right?”
“You should go after him,” Alex urged.
“No he shouldn’t,” Brandon growled.
Alex sighed. “Brandon, it’s not gonna happen with you and Scottie.” He put his hand on the other man’s shoulder. “We need to find you a man who isn’t already in love with someone else.”
“Scottie, what’s going on?” Brandon scowled.
I met my date’s irritated gaze. “I’m sorry, Brandon. I… I am in love Lance.”
He grimaced. “Since when?”
Alex signaled the bartender as he slapped Brandon on the back. “Can we please get this man another drink?”
Brandon still looked puzzled. “I don’t understand.”
Alex rolled his eyes. “Lance and Scottie love each other. Now do you want that drink or not?”
Brandon must have seen something in my expression that finally got through to him. Because he slumped and said, “Make it a double.”
With an apologetic pat on Brandon’s back, I raced out of the restaurant, ignoring the startled glances of the patrons. Once outside on the sidewalk, I didn’t see Lance anywhere. I started walking in the direction of his apartment, feeling nervous and confused. I had no idea what I would even say to him if I found him. But Lance had seemed so hurt as he’d left the restaurant, I hadn’t been able to dismiss his pain this time.
After I’d gone about two blocks, I found him leaning against a tree near his apartment building. His shoulders were slumped, and his eyes were closed. A twig snapped under my foot as I approached and he opened his eyes. His mouth hardened and he gave me a cold stare.
“I can’t believe I followed you,” I said breathlessly.
He snorted. “Then go away.”
Heat filled my cheeks, but I lifted my chin and stopped a foot from him. “Look, I’m sorry.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Just all of a sudden?”
“This is a fucked-up situation, Lance. I had to figure some stuff out.”
He pointed an accusing finger at me. “I left you so many voice mails. How could you just ignore me like that? Not a peep from you for a whole week. Do you even have a heart?”
“Excuse me?” I gestured in the direction of the bar we’d come from. “I just left my very confused date in there to come running after you.”
“Well, go back to him.”
“Why?”
He curled his lip. “Because I’m pissed at you.”
I laughed, which I think surprised us both. “Okay.”
“I’ve never worked so hard to treat someone well.” He swallowed. “And it didn’t mean anything.”
“It did,” I said softly.
“No.” He scowled. “You threw my feelings back in my face.” His eyes glittered dark with resentment. “I told you I loved you, and you turned your back on me.” He leaned toward me. “Multiple times.”
I winced at the raw pain in his voice. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “I forgive you. Now go away.”
I made an impatient sound and moved closer. “Stop it.”
“I don’t feel like it. I have a right to be mad after how you’ve behaved.”
I hung my head. “Come on, Lance. Let me apologize.”
“Why did you go out with Brandon?” he demanded, his nostrils flaring.
“I wanted a distraction.”
“From what?”
“From you. From my feelings for you.” I inched closer. “You seem to think this past week has been a piece of cake for me or something.”
“You could have ended it anytime, buddy.” His voice was gruff, but his eyes seemed softer.
I swallowed against the fear of rejection. “I’m trying to do that now. I’m trying to say I was wrong to let what happened five years ago interfere with us.”
He tensed his jaw. “If you’re still holding a grudge about my father, then don’t bother. I can’t take the back and forth.”
I grunted. “I was in shock. You must understand why?”
He narrowed his gaze. “I understand, yes. But I don’t see how ignoring me and dating that guy Brandon was the rational thing to do.”
“I wasn’t being rational. I was freaked-out and Brandon was there.”
He grabbed me and tugged me against him, insecurity floating through his gaze. “Did you fuck Brandon?”
I widened my eyes. “Of course not.” Even though his question annoyed me, the warmth of his breath on my mouth had my cock hardening. I longed to put the past week behind us. “I don’t want Brandon. I want you.”
Some of the tension left his shoulders, but he still looked wary. “You hurt me.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“You were so cold.” He bit his lip, looking worried. “How do I know you won’t do that again if something upsets you?”
I wound my arms around his waist, and he melted into me. “Because this past week has been one of the worst of my life.” I needed him to believe me, and I kissed the side of his neck softly. “Until this happened I don’t know that I trusted what you felt for me was real. But I do now. You could have bailed on me so easily, but you didn’t. You kept trying to get through to me.”
He sighed as my lips pressed his firm flesh.
“You didn’t just say you loved me, you showed it. You proved it,” I whispered.
“You’re being awfully nice all of a sudden.” His cock was hard against my thigh. He nuzzled my ear, his warm breath sending a shiver of arousal through me.
“I’ve been an idiot.” I rested my head on his hard chest. I loved the strong thump of his heart, and I sighed. “I misjudged your dad. It… it was easy to do too because he was a cutthroat bastard in court. He made me feel small and pathetic.”
He squeezed me. “God. I’m so sorry.”
I lifted one shoulder. “He was good at his job. I… I guess I understand why he’d believe his friend if he’d known him all his life. And Garrett was convincing too.” I winced. “I was a wreck who could barely take the stand, while Garrett’s performance was flawless.”
“I hate to think of you going through that.”
I tightened my grip on him. “I just want it behind me. And to be honest, how can I judge your dad for falling for Garrett’s act when he tricked me too?”
He put a finger under my chin, and he looked deep into my eyes. A line appeared between his smooth brows. “Are you sure you can forgive and forget?”
A lump formed in my throat at his gentle tone. “You didn’t do anything but love me.” I winced. “And I was awful to you. Are you sure you can forgive me?”
“God, yes, Scottie. Of course.” He kissed me then, and my heart tightened with emotions so powerful my legs shook. Just the brush of his lips against mine made me feel human again. How could one man have such power over me?
“Lance,” I moaned, pulling him closer and opening my mouth under his.
His tongue trembled against mine and we shared long, lusty kisses until I was breathless and panting for air. “I’m so happy right now,” he said softly, holding me tenderly, as if I was the most important thing in the world.
“Me too.”
A cab honked nearby and he loosened his grip on me. “You’re coming upstairs with me.” His voice was firm.
“I was wondering when you were going to ask.”
He grinned and his face looked younger and happier. “You’re really here in my arms, right?”
I nodded. “Yep.”
“Let’s go.” He tugged me toward his building. He kept his arm around me as we passed the doorman, and all the way into the elevator. He pressed the button for his floor, and then he sighed. “I think my mom might be getting a complex where you’re concerned.”
“Oh, God.” I cringed, remembering how I’d bolted from his mom’s apartment the night of the dinner. “She probably hates me.”
“No. She thinks it’s the other way around.”
I bit my lip nervously. “How can I make it right?”
“Next time you meet her stay longer than twenty minutes?” He grinned.
“Deal.” I followed him from the elevator car and down the hall to his apartment. “I’ll make it up to her.”
“She’ll just be happy you’ve come to your senses.” He opened his door and pushed me ahead of him, letting the door slam behind him. “She wants her little boy happy.”
“Naturally.”
His gaze was heated. “Let’s go in the bedroom.”
I nodded eagerly and followed him. Once in his room, the familiar scent of his cologne filled my mind with wonderful memories of being in his bed. I remembered the first time we’d had sex and how scared I’d been that he would reject me because of my scars. But he hadn’t cared at all. He’d seen me, the real man behind the jagged marks on my flesh. He’d looked into my soul and helped me heal.
He pressed his lips to the scar on my jaw as if reading my mind. Then he slowly unbuttoned my shirt. “You’re back where you belong.”
I nodded, finding it difficult to speak because of the lump in my throat.
“Whatever happens in the future don’t run away, okay?” He kissed my lips gently. “Just don’t run, Scottie.”
I cupped his cheeks. “I’m done running.”
“Yeah?”
“I think maybe it really is my turn to be happy. That night we broke up, you said all I had to do was grab my happiness.” I wound my arms around his neck, and I gave him a shy smile. “I’m doing that. I’m grabbing my happiness.”
“It’s about time.” We kissed, and then his eyes glittered mischievously. “I hope you’re open to grabbing other things too.” He winked.
I dropped my gaze to his obvious erection. “You want me to grab your happiness too while I’m at it?”
His dimples appeared when he grinned. “Well, since you offered.”
I smiled, feeling joyful and relieved to be back in his arms. “I love you, Lance. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”
He nodded and his expression became more serious. “I hope you really mean that. Because I’m never letting you go.”
“Good.” I slipped my hand down his waist to his hip and then between our bodies. His cock was full and heavy in my hand as I squeezed him. “Wow, you really are full of happiness, aren’t you?”
“Get in my bed, now.”
With a thrill of excitement, I got into his soft sheets. “Lance,” I whispered. “Come to me.”
He moved with no hesitation and slipped in next to me. “Always, Scottie. Always.”