What had gotten into me? I’d had zero intention of ever apologizing to Scottie. To be honest, it hadn’t even occurred to me to say I was sorry for my behavior. But when I’d seen him sitting on that patio with his dog, something inside of me had just split open.
Maybe it was the panicked glance he’d sent me when our eyes first locked that had spurred me on to make my grand apology. Whatever the reason, I was glad I’d done it. Sitting with him that short time, I’d definitely felt a connection between us. And for once it wasn’t just sexual either. Although, that was there too. I still wanted him, but I now wanted something more also.
And I had no idea why.
I regretted not pushing to see him again, but our bond had seemed so fragile, I hadn’t wanted to risk it. I knew he was someone I would need to tread lightly with. While I was confused about why I was pushing to get to know him better, I felt okay with it. He needed a friend. His loneliness and suspicion of all people wafted off him like a fine perfume.
He’d obviously been deeply wounded. I wanted to know what had happened and maybe how he’d got his scar. It wasn’t a birth defect, of that I was certain. Maybe it was from a car accident. My interest in him was surprising. I hadn’t had any interest in getting to know a man on any nonsexual level in years. Paul had fucked me up pretty bad in the intimacy department. But when I’d run across Scottie yesterday, it had felt like something woke up inside of me.
I was pleased to think maybe I was turning a corner of sorts. I still had no interest in getting involved in a serious relationship, but it felt good to communicate with an attractive man about something other than who was going to top whom.
Perhaps trying to return to my former self felt nice because I wasn’t actually a shallow person by nature. I’d been behaving like I was for years now, but I felt like it was time to stop that. Yes, Paul had hurt me; boo-fucking-hoo. Time to grow up. My mom had made enough comments that I was beginning to feel like I was an embarrassment to her. She and my dad certainly hadn’t raised me to be a manwhore.
I’d earned quite a reputation at my work too. Sometimes guys came in just to see if they could tempt me into hitting on them. It had been fun while it lasted, but ever since I’d had performance issues with my little ginger lover the other day, I’d taken a break from picking up guys. I went to work and behaved myself by not hitting on anyone. It felt freeing to walk out of work alone. I felt like I was taking my power back. Paul couldn’t affect me anymore, and my self-destructive behavior was ending.
I sucked in a deep breath of the humid, evening air and forced myself to relax. I had the night off, and I’d decided to take Pinky for a walk so my mom didn’t have to. I moved along the busy streets of New York, fighting the urge to go past the Paws For Care clinic, hoping for a glimpse of my new pal Scottie. I decided against saying hi. We barely knew each other, and I didn’t want him clamming up again because I was too pushy.
I took Pinky to Central Park in hopes of tiring her out. She was bursting with energy after being cooped up in my mom’s apartment most of the day. I tossed a little yellow ball for her until she finally gave up and lay panting at my feet. When the evening sun began to lower in the sky, I decided it was time to get Pinky home. Pinky seemed exhausted, so I ended up carrying her most of the way. As we passed the 72nd Street subway station, my pulse sped up when I recognized Scottie striding toward the entrance.
I was shocked to find myself tongue-tied and nervous about calling out to him. That was definitely not like me. I approached people without any qualms usually. As I stood at the light signal, waiting for it to change, I wrestled with my newfound timidity. A horn nearby honked loudly, and when Scottie looked over, he saw me. His body stiffened and he turned his back on me for a moment. But then he slowly swiveled toward me, and he waved hesitantly.
I smiled. “Hello, again.”
He glanced toward the station and then back at me. Then he straightened his shoulders and headed in my direction. As he neared, his gaze dropped to the ground. Pinky wiggled in my arms as if excited to see him, and when he reached me, the first thing he did was pet the dog.
“You seem to be everywhere,” he said softly.
“Like I said, I live near here.” His apple-scented shampoo filled my nostrils, and I was very aware of the heat of his body. He looked tired, with faint dark circles under his eyes.
“I was heading home.” He gestured toward the station with his head.
“Long day?”
He raked a hand through his cropped wheat-colored hair. “Felt twice as long because I didn’t sleep well last night.”
I smiled. “Me either. It was a full moon.”
He squinted at me. “What are you, a werewolf?”
“God, no.” I smirked. “I’m a vampire.”
His lips twitched. “Got it. Everything makes perfect sense now.”
I chuckled. “I’ve always had trouble sleeping when it’s a full moon. Even as a kid.”
He shrugged. “I guess if the moon can affect the tide, it can affect us.”
“Exactly.” As my gaze roamed his handsome, angular face, an idea came to me. “Have you had dinner?” When a tense mask descended over his features, I regretted my question. “Never mind. I’m being pushy again.”
He flicked his uneasy gaze to mine. “You want to have dinner with me?”
My heart rate picked up a little when I realized he was considering eating with me. “Yeah. Why not?” I kept my voice super casual.
He looked at Pinky. “Might be hard to find a spot with a dog along for the meal.”
“I can drop her off on the way.”
He nodded, the pulse at the base of his throat beating swiftly. “Um… I guess that would work.” He glanced back toward the subway station. “Trains run all night.”
I was weirdly excited he’d said yes. “Great.” I stamped down my enthusiasm and tried to look unaffected. “Follow me.”
The sidewalks were filled with people because of the time of evening. It was hard to talk because we couldn’t really walk side by side very easily. When we reached my building, the doorman greeted me, and then he gave Scottie a curious look.
“He’s with me, Tom,” I said breathlessly.
“Very good, sir.” The older man tipped his hat at us.
I led the way to the elevators, and as we stepped inside the crowded car, I caught the rattled expression that hung on Scottie’s face. His mouth was a straight line, and his cheeks were flushed salmon. “It’s just dinner,” I whispered in his ear.
He nodded but didn’t speak.
When we reached my mom’s floor, we squeezed our way out of the packed elevator and headed to her apartment. I glanced over at Scottie and he still looked uptight.
“It won’t take long.” I nudged his arm with my elbow. “Promise.”
“It’s fine.”
I opened my mom’s door with the key she’d given me long ago, and I entered first. “Hey, Mom, I brought Pinky back.” I wasn’t sure if I should announce I had a guest with me or not. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of Scottie’s presence, but I also didn’t want my mom to come out with a mud mask on her face or something and be embarrassed.
Thankfully, when she came out of her bedroom she was fully clothed with no green goo on her face. Her expression changed when she saw Scottie, and she smiled. “I know you. You’re from the veterinary clinic.”
He held out his hand tentatively. “I’m Scottie.”
She shot me a curious look as she shook his hand. “Is everything okay with Pinky?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m not here because of the dog.” Scottie looked at me.
“We’re going to have dinner.” I set Pinky down and, when I straightened, my mom had a goofy smile.
“That’s wonderful.” She moved closer and patted Scottie’s arm. “Lance never brings any of his friends to meet me.”
His cheeks seemed pink as he stared at the floor. “We don’t really know each other very well.”
My laugh was awkwardly loud. “That’s why we’re having dinner, right? To get to know each other better.”
Now my mom looked a little confused, but she still looked pleasant. “Would you boys like a drink before you head out?”
“Nope.” I moved to the door. “Don’t want to ruin our appetite.” It suddenly struck me that having Scottie meet my mom might send some strange signals to him and my mother. It probably would have been better to have him wait downstairs, but it was too late now.
Scottie looked relieved we were leaving. He turned to my mom. “It was nice to formally meet you.”
She nodded. “I agree. Maybe you can come by and stay over five seconds next time.” She gave me an irritable glance. “My son is such a tease.”
I grimaced. “We’re just dropping the dog off.”
“It would seem so.” She laughed and gave Scottie a warm glance. “Come again anytime.”
He nodded, even though his expression was uneasy. He practically bolted out of the apartment door the minute I opened it. Once we were in the elevator, he seemed to relax a little. I was mad at myself for putting that weird pressure on him by dragging him to my mom’s apartment.
I was usually much smoother about shit like that. Maybe after my conversation with my mom the other night, about only dating guys for sex, I’d subconsciously wanted to show my mom that I knew nice guys too. Whatever my motivation, I was sorry I’d put Scottie through that horrendously awkward moment.
We left the building and hovered near the front steps. “What kind of food do you like?” I asked.
He avoided my gaze. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” He shifted uneasily and tugged at the hem of his shirt.
I was disappointed he seemed to be changing his mind. “Look…” I sighed. “I’m sorry about that. I don’t know what I was thinking making you meet my mother when you barely even know me.”
He swallowed loudly. “It was unexpected.”
I groaned. “I know.”
He licked his lips and flicked his gaze to me. “I think I almost peed myself.”
A tense laugh escaped. “I guess I was so shocked you agreed to eat with me in the first place, I lost all ability to reason. Obviously you didn’t need to meet my mom.”
His mouth twitched. “She seemed nice.”
“She is nice. I’m sure she’s also hugely confused right now.”
“That makes two of us.” He squinted at me. “This is just friends, right?”
I nodded. “Yes. Absolutely. I’m not looking for anything serious.”
The tension left his jaw. “Okay.” He exhaled. “Me either.”
I grinned. “Did you think I was gonna pin a corsage on you and ask you to the prom?”
“I didn’t know what the fuck was happening.” He snorted a laugh.
I felt better now he seemed to get that I hadn’t been introducing him to my mother for any ulterior motive. “So what kind of food would you like to eat?”
His features softened and he rubbed his stomach. “Anything. I’m starving. I could eat anything.”
“Then I guess it’s good we dropped Pinky off, huh?” I arched one brow, and my heart tightened when a shy smile lit his face.
“Do you like Italian?”
“I love it.”
“Then follow me.” He turned and strode down the sidewalk and, feeling lighthearted, I hurried after him.