The hunger I felt for Lance caught me by surprise. I’d always thought he was sexy, but tonight I’d been overcome with the need to connect on a different level. Maybe because he hadn’t pushed for anything, or maybe because he’d convinced me the scar on my jaw didn’t bother him.
He confidently stripped his shirt off and slid his pants and briefs down to his ankles, stepping out of them; he never took his heated gaze off mine. Then he moved up to me with a gentle expression. “Can I take your shirt off?”
I hesitated, terrified of his reaction when he saw my body. “I’m not sure.”
He cupped my cheek, and his eyes were filled with affection. “Let me see you.” He kissed my jaw where the scar was, softly. “I want to see all of you.” His erection pressed my hip, and I struggled with my uncertainty.
With trembling fingers, I began to unbutton my shirt. My heart was pounding so hard, I wondered if he could hear it. I was afraid to look at his face. What if he had a horrified expression? I pulled off my shirt and tossed it on the ground. I clenched my jaw and kept my gaze locked on his muscled chest. I hadn’t let anyone see me since the attack five years ago. The only times I’d had sex it had been strictly blow jobs, and I’d kept most of my clothes on. I undid my jeans and slid them to the floor, kicking them off; I stood naked and nervous in front of him.
His sharp intake of breath made me wince.
“I’m not repulsed, I swear,” he said softly. He traced the scar that went from just under my left nipple to my belly button with his finger. “Were these inflicted deliberately?”
I swallowed hard and stiffened at his touch. “Yes.”
“You didn’t hurt yourself though.”
I shook my head.
“Who did this to you?” He ran his fingertip over the other long scar that was on my hip, slipping his hand gently over the bumpy mark. “Who hurt you, Scottie?”
My throat was tight and I couldn’t seem to speak. I gripped his arm and pressed my forehead to his chest. His arms immediately came around me, and he pulled me tight.
He nuzzled my ear and kissed me softly. “What happened to you?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” My voice shook and I closed my eyes. “Can’t we just fuck?” I wanted to feel halfway normal again. I liked him more than I’d liked anyone in forever. And the more I got to know him, the more I wanted him to be the one who saw the real me.
He sighed and I felt his nod against my hair. “Yeah. Of course.” He let me go, and he led me to the bed. He pulled back his dark brown comforter, and I climbed into the soft cotton sheets. Lying on my back, I watched him grab the lube and condom from his nightstand.
I was happy that his cock was stiff and he was obviously aroused. The fear that he’d be grossed out by my damaged body was one thing I’d been dreading. My dick jutted hard between my thighs, and I couldn’t wait for him to take me. I hadn’t felt this desperate yearning in years, and my flesh tingled with the desire to have him on top of me.
He crawled onto the bed, and he nestled beside me. I’d kind of hoped he’d just climb on top of me and start fucking me. That way he wouldn’t have been able to really see my slash marks. But he instead smoothed his hand over my sensitive flesh, and he kissed my scars, one by one. His warm breath over the puckered skin was sensual and tantalizing. He alternated between kissing my scars and sucking my beaded nipples until he had me moaning softly. He stroked my cock and played with my swollen balls, coaxing sounds from me I barely recognized.
I ran my hands greedily along his muscled thigh and hip. He had a beautiful body, and his golden tanned skin was perfect and unmarred. I tried to ignore the insecurities that attacked me as I gazed on his perfection, but it wasn’t easy. When I stroked his cock, he groaned and rolled his hips, sliding his dick into my hand desperately. With every passing second, my need grew like a fire fed by gasoline. I tugged at him. “Fuck me.”
“Slow down,” he said softly. He brushed his lips over mine. “We have all night.”
I think a part of me was afraid he’d change his mind. That he’d suddenly wake up and realize he was in bed with a disfigured mess like me. I held his gaze, anxiety sitting heavy in my chest. “You don’t have to treat me like glass.”
He frowned. “This isn’t a pity fuck, Scottie.” He gave a short laugh. “I want you. I want to enjoy you.”
I didn’t know what to do with that. I stared at him blankly.
He sighed and kissed me again, fluttering his hand over the scar below my breast. His lips were soft and coaxing against mine, and soon I began to forget about anything but how good it felt to be touched by another person. I’d been so closed off for so long, it was hard to relax and just go with whatever this was between us.
I’d rarely had a guy take this much time just stroking me and exploring my body. Perplexing as it was, he seemed completely into me. I could sense his desire growing, and his cock was like steel against my thigh. My excitement was palpable as he caressed and rolled his body against mine. I didn’t understand why he wanted me, but he did. He’d seen my scars and he still wanted me. It gave me an almost surreal sense of worth. Something I’d lacked for years. Hiding and not engaging had become my norm. But as Lance feathered kisses along my collarbone and whispered my name, I knew that was about to change.
I timidly touched his chest, and he smiled as if pleased. “That’s right, touch me,” he urged. “It feels good.”
“It’s been a long time.” I gave a self-conscious laugh.
“It’s like riding a bike.” He smiled warmly.
I tensed my jaw. “I was never that good on a bike.”
He grinned and moved closer. “Now is not the time to be thinking too much.” He stroked my cock and I groaned. “Just feel. Just go with it.” He squeezed my throbbing shaft. “You want me inside you?”
I arched my back against the intense pleasure his touch gave me. “I do.”
“And I want that desperately. What else is there to think about?” He nipped my neck.
I touched his cheek, wanting to convey how much I appreciated his patience with me. “You’re being so fucking sweet.”
He smirked. “That’s because I’m a nice guy.”
“I thought you were a jerk.” I winced at my own blunt words.
“I can be that too.” His gaze softened. “You seem to bring out my better side.”
“Yeah?” I stroked his cock, loving the feel of his firm flesh against my palm. “You don’t need to be too nice right now.”
“I don’t think that will be a problem.” He bit his lip as I swept my thumb over the slick head of his dick. “I want to fuck you so deep you taste me.”
Excitement rolled through me at his forceful tone. “Do it.” I squeezed his cock, and hunger flared in his eyes. “Fuck me as hard as you want.”
His lust practically crackled in the air as he moved to put on the condom. He climbed on top of me, and our kisses became more desperate and needy. He rocked his cock against mine, and I held on to him as if he was a life preserver. The glide of his dick against my aching cock had me feeling crazy with desire. Jesus, how had I not needed this sooner? How had I convinced myself shutting out the world and the touch of another man was the right choice? Just the feel of his heated flesh on mine had me craving more. I didn’t want to hide anymore. At least, not from him. Not at this moment.
He twisted and grabbed the lube bottle. Then he adjusted his position, and he stroked his slick fingers over my entrance, spreading the cool gel. When he kissed me urgently, my ragged moans disappeared into his mouth as he explored my tongue with his. He stroked my tender entrance until I was aching for him.
“Fuck me,” I panted.
He smiled as I rolled my hips, moaning for more. Just when I thought I might die from his teasing touch, he slipped one finger into my hole, breaching the tight muscles and coaxing a chest-deep groan from me.
“Yeah, you like that?” His eyes burned with lust, and a salacious smile hung on his sensual lips.
“Oh, God. Yeah.” I gritted my teeth. “Fuck me, please.”
He chuckled. “Be patient, and just feel.”
I gripped his hips and sighed, giving myself to the moment as much as I could. I was so used to rushing sex, getting it over with before the guys pushed for something more. It was hard to ignore the gnawing fear I’d felt for so long, but I closed my eyes and just went with it. With every second of his tender attention, I felt like little pieces of me were being put back in place.
He added another finger, and I arched my back, hissing because it felt so good I couldn’t stand it. I dug my fingers into his arm and panted against the delicious invasion. “Lance,” I whispered.
He worked me like a pro, slowly adding more fingers and sliding in and out of my hole until I was begging him to fuck me. I was so thankful he wanted me. It was obvious the jagged scars on my body didn’t affect his lust for me at all. I opened my thighs and rode his hand, pulling his head down for dirty tongue-filled kisses.
Eventually, he seemed to realize he had me so turned on if he didn’t stop teasing me, I was gonna blow my load before he ever even got inside me. He pulled his hand from my body, and he kissed me until I was panting. Then he pushed his dick against my hole, and the pressure of his wide cock head made me breathless.
I writhed under him, pulling at his hips. “Fuck me. Fuck me, now.”
“Wait. I want you to know I love your body,” he whispered. “You turn me on so much it’s painful.”
My eyes stung at his passionate words. “You don’t have to say that.”
He squinted. “Yeah. I know. I’ve been dying to fuck you since the moment I met you. Nothing has changed.” He touched the scar on my jaw. “Nothing.”
My chest tightened with emotion. “Yeah?” I didn’t like that I sounded vulnerable, but he seemed to bring that out in me. “You still want to fuck me, Lance?”
“Oh, yeah.” He groaned and pushed into my ass, and intense pleasure washed over his features like an erotic wave. “Oh, God,” he said hoarsely, thrusting deeper. “So fucking good.”
When he entered me, I cried out. It had been so long since I’d allowed anyone to enter my body, I’d almost forgotten how it felt; that aching pressure soaked with pleasure. His lean frame trembled against mine, and I knew he was holding himself in check, trying to give me time to adjust. I was thankful he understood I needed him to go slowly. He rolled his hips carefully, and I groaned.
Sweat prickled my chest as I tried to relax my muscles and allow the tender, stretched skin that clutched his shaft to relax and let him in. “It’s been so long.” My voice shook.
“It’s okay.” He kissed me softly. “Take all the time you need.”
The sweet taste of his mouth and his patient tone made my lust for him flare again. I had no idea why he was so kind to me, but I knew that few men with their cock buried deep in your ass thought of anyone but their own pleasure. My chest hurt with how much I liked him. I wanted him so much my entire body thrummed with need. I rolled my hips, and his dick slipped deeper, pushing a groan of pleasure from me.
I wound my arms around his neck and held his gaze. “Fuck me, Lance.” I licked my lips. “It’s okay to move.”
He hesitated, and I could feel his muscles tremble as he controlled his need to thrust. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I want it. I need it.” I knew if we could just get past this first part, it would start to feel amazing. “Fuck me.”
He swallowed and he thrust gently, biting his lip and moaning. “God, it’s hard to be considerate. I just want to fuck you through the mattress,” he growled.
His passionate tone sent another wave of excitement through me. And when he rolled his hips again, the slick glide of his cock began to feel nice. “Oh, yeah,” I whispered. “Do that again.”
He obliged, and his yellow-brown gaze was filled with hunger. He flexed his hips and sank deeper, moaning and repeating that deep, slow thrust.
“Oh, fuck,” I panted. My body clutched his thick shaft, and I surrendered to the delicious bliss. “Oh, my God.” He pushed in again and shivers of delight rippled from my head to my toes. The pain was just a dull ache now, replaced by an intense craving for him to thrust harder. I pushed my hips up to meet his and he rocked into me unevenly, setting a quicker pace.
He buried his face in my throat, and I inhaled the heady scent of his clean hair. I loved the way he smelled and tasted as he fucked me deeper and deeper. I wrapped my legs around him and whispered dirty words of encouragement. I’d been afraid no one would ever want me again. But he did. I could feel it so clearly in his touch and kiss. He couldn’t seem to get enough of me as he pumped into me, pushing his tongue deep into my throat.
I was so turned on, and I began to stroke my cock as he pounded into me. I was close. So fucking close to the best orgasm of my life. His face was a gorgeous picture of lust: lips parted and his face red. “I’m gonna come,” he whispered. “Are you close?”
“Oh, yeah.” The in and out of his cock had me gasping and on the edge of coming. I squeezed my dick as my climax buzzed through my balls and up my shaft. I couldn’t remember fucking ever feeling this good. I had trouble breathing the pleasure was so intense, and my body shook with the desperate need to come.
He flexed his hips hard, pistoning into me like a machine. There was no need to be gentle anymore, and he unleashed his lust happily. The headboard banged against the wall, and I arched my back as my cock ached for release. He slammed into me, watching me intently. “Come for me,” he urged. “I want to see your face when you let go.”
I was self-conscious, but also so turned on I felt a little out of control. “I wish you were fucking me raw,” I groaned.
His lust flared in his eyes. “You’re gonna make me come talking like that.”
“Good.” I squeezed my cock and clenched my ass on his shaft. “Oh, fuck. I’m coming.” I arched my back and grunted as my dick jerked and a swell of hot seed flooded my chest and abs. He fucked me deep as I came, and the ecstasy that rocked through me left me a shuddering, boneless wreck.
“God, damn that’s hot.” His gaze was intense, and he thrust aggressively two more times and exploded inside me. Even with the condom on I felt his release surge inside me. His face contorted with pleasure, and he groaned loudly, pumping into me until his cock was soft. Then he collapsed on top of me, breathing hard.
I held him, both arms wrapped around his waist. We were covered in sweat and cum. I kissed his hair, feeling so emotional I was definitely embarrassed. He’d wanted me. Scars and all he’d wanted me so bad it had been written all over his gorgeous face. My body ached with how hard he’d fucked me, but it was the best feeling I’d had in years.
He sighed and lifted his head, and his pretty eyes held mine. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fucking amazing.” I gave a weak laugh.
He looked relieved. “I got a little carried away.” He rolled his hips, and I shivered with pleasure. He grinned and pulled his limp cock from my body. Then he slid off me and rolled gracefully off the bed.
He returned with a towel, and he tenderly wiped the cum from my chest and stomach. Then he tossed it in his laundry basket and got back in bed. He pulled me against him, and I rested my head on his chest. The thump of his heart was slow and steady, and he stroked his fingers lightly over my back.
“Just so you know, I never bring guys here.” His voice was husky.
It was nice he wanted me to know that. His consideration and gentleness with me continually took me by surprise. “Why not?”
He lifted one shoulder. “My behavior the last few years wasn’t really about connecting on an emotional level. I liked being at their place because I could leave as soon as we were done.” He kissed my hair. “To be honest I’m not sure what the hell I was trying to prove.”
I looked up and met his serious gaze. “You were hiding from the pain.” I sighed and nestled against his broad chest. “We were doing the same thing, just in different ways.”
He gave a gruff laugh. “Well, it didn’t work.”
No. It hadn’t worked. Nothing had.
I knew I should probably get up and leave so I didn’t get too attached to the feel of his strong arms around me. But I couldn’t force myself to ruin the moment. Instead, I closed my eyes and just listened to the steady beat of his heart until I drifted off to sleep.