I startle awake and reach for Katelyn. The spot where she laid is empty and the sheets are cool to the touch. The moment I feel the wind tickle my face, I know where I’ll find her. I sit up and look out the open door. The sun has already set. I quickly look at the clock on my bedside table and realize we’ve slept the day away. This isn’t how I had planned to spend the day, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I sit up and watch her, well the back of her. I wonder how long she’s been sitting in the sand, staring at the ocean. I contemplate whether I should bother her or figure out what we’re going to eat for dinner. I chide myself for getting carried away earlier. I wanted to show her around, give her a tour, but having her in my room was a dream come true, and there was no way I could pass up the moment of having her in my arms. Having her in my bed is definitely something I plan to do again, repeatedly.
Slipping on my boxers and shorts, I make my way into the kitchen and hope my mom stocked up well. I suppose I could grow up and really start doing everything for myself, but it would be moments like this where I have to call for some type of food delivery and I really want to be alone with Katelyn before band business gets in the way.
The refrigerator is exactly as I expected it. “Thanks, mom,” I say out loud, because not only did she fix me up right, but she’s given me an idea. I take out what I need and start preparing. I move around the kitchen quickly for fear that Katelyn will come looking for me. Or is it hope? All I know I want to take this to her because she’s not expecting it. Just like I didn’t expect her to make such an impact on my life.
The sand is warm on my bare feet as I walk toward her. As I get closer, I notice that she’s wearing one of my dress shirts. It doesn’t even bother me that I know she went into my closet to get it. It’s sexy as fuck seeing her in my clothes.
I set down the plate of food I made and sit behind her. She leans against me, her head resting on my shoulder. I could live like this and be happy for the rest of my life. The only thing missing are the kids running around in front of us. They complete us.
I pull the wrap off the plate and pick up a piece of cheese and apple wedge. “I have something for you,” I say as I reach around her and place the offering at her lips. She doesn’t say anything. She just takes a bite and nuzzles into my neck. I get the feeling that something is wrong, but I’m afraid to ask her what. I’m not sure I’d like the answer if she told me that she doesn’t want to spend the summer here or if she’s starting to second guess us because of what I said earlier.
I take a few grapes off the vine and feed both of us, alternating between her and me. There are a few surfers out in the water, but for the most part, the beach is deserted right now, which is shocking. I’m not complaining. It gives us more privacy.
“You’re not what I thought you’d be,” she says as her lips graze my neck. What I am is losing my resolve not to spin her around and watch her come undone from my touch. Her body is the one drumbeat I can’t master, but I’ll never give up trying. I try not to overthink her statement. I’m not sure I want to know what it means, but leaving it unquestioned will only burn me later.
“Meaning?” I ask as I feed her a strawberry.
Katelyn shrugs. “Everything I thought about you was wrong. I had a list a mile long of reasons why we wouldn’t work. First with your tattoos, I assumed the worst. Then there was the woman at the bar when we were in Florida. When I saw that happen, I thought there was no way I’d be able to trust someone like you and wondered how Josie was doing it. I was so standoffish, and yet you come over twice a week to mow my lawn, even though I never asked you to. I kept saying we couldn’t be together and now that we are, I can’t find a reason for us not to be. If anything, you should hate me for being a bitch to you.
“Here we are, at your gorgeous place that you left to live in Beaumont, and I can’t understand why. You’re feeding me, and that is definitely something I never expected from you. Hell, it’s never even happened to me before. And this afternoon, the way you made love to me…” Katelyn sighs and shakes her head. She leans forward and covers her eyes, hiding from me. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do here. Everything I’ve been doing so far, I’ve done because it felt natural, but right now, I don’t know if I’m supposed to reach out and touch her or leave her to sort through her thoughts. Right now, I’m lost and confused. Earlier, things seemed fine, but that’s definitely not the case at this moment.
My throat is tight. I clear it a few times, but am unable to find my voice. I’m afraid to move. What if this is not what she wants? I sit like a statue and fight the pressure in my chest. I can’t take anymore.
“I don’t…” I have to clear my throat again. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here, Katelyn.”
She shakes her head again and stands. My shirt is long enough to over her ass, but I know she’s not wearing anything underneath. She turns and takes two steps forward before falling to her knees in front of me. I’m afraid to touch her, even though I’m burning to pull her to me.
“Why do you hide from me?”
I look at her questioningly. “What’re you talking about?”
“Is this the real Harrison James sitting in front of me?”
Well, isn’t that a loaded question with many possible answers? “What do you want to know?”
“Where are your parents?”
I run my hand through my hair and sigh. I look down the beach and smile. “My mom lives about ten minutes away. I told you earlier that my sister is in New York and my dad – he died when I was four. He was a police officer and was shot in the line of duty by a gang member.”
“Harrison,” she says my name so quietly, but full of sorrow. Katelyn cups my face, her fingers dancing along my jaw, playing with my scruff.
“It was a long time ago, Katelyn.”
“But you were so young.” This I was, and I suffered dearly for not having a father figure around and a mom that had to work two jobs to make ends meet. I love my mom more than anything. She had to be not only a mother, but a father, and she tried so hard to make mine and Yve’s life the best she could. I need to change the subject before I tell her the horrors of my childhood that will surely send her running for the hills.
“What about you? How was life as an only child?”
Katelyn shrugs and plays with the hair at the nape of my neck. “I had Josie, so it was like having a sister.”
“When did you and Mason start dating?”
Katelyn pulls back a little and looks at me. Her head moves from side to side. She pulls her lip in between her teeth. I reach out and pull it out with my thumb and place a kiss where she was biting it.
“You don’t have to answer.”
“It’s not that. Do you really want to know?”
I take this opportunity to pull her into my arms. “He’s a part of your life and he’s part of the girls’ life. I’ll never ask you not to talk about him when I’m around. I’ll never ask you to stop loving him. If he was here, I’d hate him.” I shake my head because that’s not true. “No, I probably wouldn’t know you if he was here, and for that I’m both thankful and remorseful because his girls are the best, most beautiful girls that I’ve ever encountered, and I want to do right by not only them, but him too.”
Tears begin to roll down her face. I wipe them away before she has a chance to. She stares at me with wet eyes that are breaking my heart. I didn’t mean to make her cry, but it’s the only way I can get across with how I feel.
“We started dating the summer after freshman year. He was so popular and cute. My mother said he only wanted me for my swimming pool, but that wasn’t the case. We all grew up that summer.”
“Liam told me a lot about him. Sometimes I feel like I know him, especially when I’m with you and the girls.”
Katelyn smiles and curls up in my arms. “Everyone loved him. He was the high school football star who returned to coach the team. He was supposed to go to school with Liam, but changed his mind and gave up a scholarship to the University of Texas to go to the state school with me. I wonder now, had he gone with Liam, if things would be different.”
“Like how?”
“I don’t know. Would they be in the NFL doing what they loved? Would I be one of those wives you see on television, bitching about her husband or involved in some marital scandal? Nothing went according to plan once we graduated high school.”
“And now, you’re involved with someone who doesn’t fit your norm, sitting on the beach in my dress shirt and about to attend your first red carpet event.”
“You wrote me a song.”
I can’t help but smile. “I did and we are performing it tomorrow night at the awards show.”
“I’m your date.”
“You are, and from what I’ve heard, you have a pretty smoking dress that I’m going to want to rip off of you.”
She rolls her eyes. “Can I ask you about my job?”
I sigh. I’ve been hoping to avoid this topic. “Sure,” I say.
“I’ve done a bad job. I let the band down.”
I wrap my arms around her and rest my chin on the top of her head. Liam and I haven’t sat down and discussed what to do. We were going to wait until after this week was over before we made plans to move forward.
“I think we threw you to the wolves without proper training. It’s our fault.”
“I think I should quit.”
“Why?” I’m caught off-guard by her statement.
“Because if we’re together, I need to be away from you.”
“What?” my voice breaks. I don’t want her away from me, ever.
“Not like that. What I’m saying is I like that you come to my house after you’re done working and if we spend all day together, the evenings won’t have the same meaning.”
I think I love this woman. I tip her head up and capture her lips. She’s right. The anticipation of seeing her after work will be worth it.
“So what do you want to do?”
“Quit. I’ll help Josie at Whimsicality.”
“If that’s what you want.”
Katelyn nods. I guess that settles it. I’m indifferent about her decision. I’ll miss her during the day, but knowing she’ll be expecting me at night is going to be worth it.
“You’ve never kissed me in front of the girls.” She says as she turns in my arms.
I feel the side of my mouth move up in a smile at her. She slaps me in the chest. “I’ve never kissed anyone aside from my mom and sister in front of Quinn. He’s never seen me with a woman.”
“Are you serious? Why?”
I look down. What if she finds my reasoning stupid? When I found out Quinn was mine, I changed my ways. Yes, I still partied and did my fair share of womanizing, but I didn’t bring that home to him. “I want him to have respect for women, and if I parade them around, he’ll think that’s okay when it’s not. Now why haven’t you kissed me in front of the girls?” I ask her the same question even though I know the answer.
Katelyn purses her lips. I can tell she’s biting the inside of her cheek. “I’m not sure how they’ll react. I haven’t told them about us because I don’t know what to say. Honestly, I feel stupid trying to put a label on us.”
“So don’t.”
“Don’t?”
I shrug. “Tomorrow night when they ask me who you are, my answer is going to be Katelyn. No one needs to know. Who cares what people think, we only matter to us and I’m not going anywhere, anytime soon. Are you?”
“No,” she says, trying not to smile.
“Good.”
I hold her in my arms as the sun finally sets. When she starts shivering, I know it’s time for us to head inside. We walk, hand in hand, back to my place and all I can think is that this is my paradise.