“This wasn’t how I pictured you two would be today.” Tessa looked at the space between Greg and me with such puzzlement. We hadn’t spoken to each other when we entered the room and we made sure to sit on opposite ends of the couch again.
It wasn’t even because of how yesterday went or family dinner night, it was work. For the first time in five years, Greg and I had had a huge disagreement over a client, so big that Max had to come down to settle things, and Greg was still pissed that Max had taken my side. The client was one we had seen soar in the beginning with sales and then drop. She wasn’t keen on marketing and didn’t want to be. Her philosophy was, “If they want it, they’ll find it,” which didn’t help us at all, so I proposed to set her royalties smaller, so that they would spread out for her longer, rather than giving them to her all at once or month by month, which is more traditional.
But no, smug asshole that he was, went ahead and contacted the client. She agreed to what he wanted. Now I’m pretty sure it’s the last that book we’ll sign with her since her contract was up at the end of next year and she had no plans on releasing anything within that time span.
“She should say I was right and then we’ll be good.” Greg shifted himself so that he still wasn’t looking at me, but his body was faced towards me.
“I won’t say it because you aren’t right.” I crossed my arms over my chest. I felt like a child throwing a tantrum, but I wasn’t going to let Greg win this battle.
“Does this have to do with anything from family dinner the other night?” Tessa probed.
“No.” Greg and I both laughed at the same time.
“She won’t admit that I was right about a client.”
I huffed at Greg’s remark because I knew he was wrong. “Just because the client agreed with you, doesn’t mean it was right for her.”
“This is about work?” Tessa interjected.
“Yes.” Greg and I both spoke at the same time again. Tessa looked back and forth between us and then wrote something down on her notepad. Greg tried to readjust himself, but I knew from the way he strained his neck that he was trying to see what she had just written. He looked over to me, almost like he knew I was watching him, and shook his head no that he couldn’t see anything.
“I want to come back to this, but first I want to know how family dinner went?” Tessa changed the subject, putting her pen down and adjusting herself so that she sat straighter in her tight dress. I didn’t like that she looked like she was on display every time we saw her, but from looking over to Greg, he didn’t seem to notice because his eyes were on me.
“Amazing.” I blushed at Greg’s response and moved my focus back to Tessa.
“It was really good,” I quickly followed.
“Come on, you can do better than really good.” Greg laughed at me. “Admit it, you loved being there again.”
“I did.” I smiled at myself and admitted to Greg’s statement. We sat there as Tessa looked between us, waiting for one or the other to explain more. I spoke up first to get it out of the way. “I hadn’t been there in over a year, so it was pretty amazing to see family again.”
“Family?” Tessa eye’s sparked to life at the word I had used. Family, that’s what Greg’s parents and siblings are to me.
“Yeah, family.” I didn’t dare peek over at Greg because I knew his expression would be one that I would want to smack right off his face. Tessa turned her body towards me and soon it became just about us, like Greg wasn’t in the picture at all, but I knew he was still there because I could feel his stares.
“Elaborate for me, Lilly.” Tessa held her pen in one hand and pad in the other, ready to write my life’s story.
“Um,” I shifted in my seat. “I don’t know where you want me to start.”
“Wherever you’re comfortable with.” She used the hand holding her pen pen to coax me to continue.
“Well, I guess it was the first Christmas I spent at his parents’ house.” I hooked my thumb towards Greg and continued. “I had been living in the city for a year by then, and not with my parents, so I had wanted to see them and the rest of my family. I had plans to spend the whole week at home with them for Christmas, but at the last minute my parents decided to tell me that they had plans to leave the country for the holidays.”
“And by last minute, she means the day before.” I could hear the disdain in Greg’s voice. He had never liked my parents because the only times I ever talked about them, or when he heard about them from someone else, it was because they had forgotten something or had let me down. I continued on, deciding to ignore his comment.
“It wasn’t just my parents, though. I tried to call my brothers and sisters, but everyone was too busy or didn’t have enough room for me to come stay with them. I stayed home most of the week because the office was closed, but when I went downstairs the day before Christmas to try to find somewhere that was still open to get food, Greg was there.”
I stopped, because I remember that day like it was yesterday. Greg had seen the hurt on my face and swooped in to save me, and save me he did. He changed my life that day. He’s changed my life every day.
“Greg offered for me to spend Christmas with his family, and I guess the rest is history. His parents welcomed me with open arms and so did his siblings. Even though I wasn’t family, it felt like I was, and it’s been a standing tradition that I be there for every holiday.” I stopped and looked over at Greg. “Well, it used to be. I haven’t spent a holiday there in a while.”
I felt ashamed admitting it out loud. I had let David and Margaret down, and I knew they understood why and that I had my own life, but it felt like I left a little piece of my soul there the other day and I felt the tug to go back now, just like I used to.
“How do you feel about this, Greg, Lilly not being there for the holidays anymore?” I was taken aback by Tessa’s question. I hadn’t thought she would ask him something so personal, but this was marriage counseling.
“She may not know it, or believe it, but she’s very much missed at that house.” I was still looking at Greg, but he had turned his attention towards Tessa and it made a pain rise in my chest. I wanted him to look at me, not her.
“But how do you feel?” Tessa questioned again.
“Upset, angry that she let her friends come between our friendship. Our family.”
That word. Our.
I sighed and slumped back into the couch, almost like I was accepting defeat that I was wrong in all of this. That I had made the worst mistake of my life by not indicating to Alexa soon that Greg and I were best friends. But then again, it didn’t feel wrong at all, because I could keep everything Greg and I shared a secret. Our secret.
“I’m not sorry that I never told Alexa or Erica.” I added to the conversation. “I’ll admit I was selfish in that decision, but you can’t fault me for that.”
“I’m not faulting you for anything doll, I just never wanted our friendship to be a secret.”
“It’s always been a secret Greg.” I pointed out. “You can’t tell me you ever told Chase, Max, or even Jack about everything that we did. That you would come over here every night after work and we would binge watch TV shows. That on the weekends we would go to Little Five Points and shop through the thrift shops to find the most ridiculous outfits. Yes, they might have known we hung out, but they didn’t know us. We don’t even know us. We just kept going on like it was normal when our relationship was anything but normal, Greg.”
Greg had made his way closer to me, his hand only a few inches from my leg. Tessa wrote down more on her notepad furiously and I took the time to look up at the clock, realizing we only had ten more minutes of our session.
“I would have liked to discuss what happened at work more in depth, but with the change of conversation and how you two look right now, I think we need to focus on something more important. You both clearly have some unresolved issues at hand. Where you’ve made decisions and not considered the other.” Tessa pointed her pen and between us. “That goes for both of you.”
She wrote a little more down on her pad.
“I have a homework assignment for you both this weekend.”
I sat up now, intrigued that my marriage counselor was giving me homework on a weekend. Greg sat forward as well and when I looked over at him, his position mimicked mine. Both of us on the edge of the couch, elbows propped on our knees and hands folded in front of us. I looked down at my hands and smiled while shaking my head. I know I was trying to push this man away, but every second just made me think how perfect we were together.
“I want you two to go on a date.”
My head shot up to meet Tessa’s eyes. The smile on her face was wicked, like she knew what she was doing. She did though, that’s why we were here. She knew how to mend and put people back together as a couple. I hadn’t been on a date since high school. It wasn’t something I ever considered, not even once I graduated college. I was so busy with work that I just never thought a man would be into a woman who was dedicated to her job.
“Done.” Greg’s answer was firm and confident. I didn’t look over to him because, just as before, I knew the look that I was going to see on his face. Arrogance, like he was getting exactly what he wanted.
“That’s all I need from you two today.” Tessa looked at the clock to see there were a couple of minutes still left. “You both can leave early if you want. I really think we made some great progress here today.”
Her smile was genuine as she showed us out of the office and Greg and I made our way out onto the street. I stood there awkwardly, swaying on both feet with my hands in my pockets.
“So…” I filled the awkward silence with more awkwardness.
“That was a good session.” Greg tucked his hands into his pockets and began to sway just like me. I was beginning to wonder if we both had the same habits, or if we just mimicked each other for a sense of comfort. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out to see a text from Erica.
We are doing dinner at Liquid Courage. Be there in 20 minutes.
I shot back a quick response.
Done.
I looked back up to Greg, who was intently watching me. I tucked my phone into my pocket and readjusted my shirt.
“I’m going to meet the girls for dinner and drinks.”
“Have fun.” He nodded his head toward me in acknowledgment. I waited to see if he was going to leave immediately, but he didn’t. He just stood there. I looked around to see if I could find his car, but nothing.
“Did you not drive?”
He smiled and ducked his head to try to hide it. “Would you believe it if I said I walked here to make sure you made it okay?”
“So, you stalked me?” The question came out with a laugh because he was right, I almost didn’t believe him.
“Not stalked.” His head was raised now and he was looking me dead in the eyes. “I wanted to make sure you were safe.”
The way he said safe made me tingle, not just in my body, but in my heart, too. I needed to leave right now.
“Well, I’m headed in the opposite direction of the apartment.” I pointed in the direction of the bar where I was headed to meet the girls. He opened his mouth, but I held up my hand to stop him. “And before you ask, I can get there on my own. No need to follow me.”
I tried not to be mean about it, but smiled and laughed at what I said, trying to make it lighthearted. The smile Greg returned to me lit up the whole street, and I knew I really needed to leave. Right now.
“Bye.” I waved a hand and turned away from him, starting to make my way down the street.
“Have a good night,” I heard from behind me, but I kept on walking. I had no idea when this date would happen, but if it was anything like how awkward that had been, I didn’t want it. Being with Greg felt normal to me and most of the time it was effortless, but in my head, putting a name to what it was that we were doing was terrifying.
I had to go on a date with Greg.
Shit.
I was in more trouble than I knew how to handle.
“I swear to you, if you don’t get those damn shoes under control, I’m leaving you behind.” I scolded Erica because for the second time since we got out of the car, she had to adjust her shoes. It wasn’t like they were new, but she had only ever worn them for traditional workouts, not for climbing a mountain. The laces had already come undone twice, so I watched her to make sure she double-knotted them this time.
“Give me a moment.” She waved her hand at me to be patient, but patience was not one of my virtues. After I left Greg yesterday and met up with the girls for dinner, they both tried to pry more information out of me about what was happening between Greg and me, but I made sure to keep my mouth locked shut. I just wasn’t really sure about what was happening, so I didn’t want to complicate things more by bringing in more parties than needed to be in this conversation. “There!”
She looked down at her shoes, so proud of herself that I couldn’t help but laugh. I ushered her ahead of me so we could start our ascent. Then I heard a familiar voice.
“Lilly!” Fucking Jack. And where there was Jack, there was Greg. When I turned around, it wasn’t just them, but Chase, too. I looked over to Erica, whose typically pale cheeks were turning a bright pink. I tried to hide my laugh at both of them, because when I looked back to Chase, he had the same look about him. “Can we join you two?”
“Absolutely!” Erica answered for the both of us before I could protest. I huffed and turned from the group to start making my way to the top of the mountain. The air was thin today and the wind started to pick up the higher we got. I led the pack alone, while Greg and Jack followed close behind, and Erica and Chase fell to the back of the pack. I could hear them talking about one of our newest clients. They both loved the series Chase was currently working on.
I tried to keep my distance and a clear head as we ascended the mountain further. I just wanted today to think, so that’s what I was going to do. I realized last night, when I still refused to tell the girls what was going on with Greg and me, that at some point in time I was going to have to decide if I wanted to keep it all a secret or tell them everything. With that realization came the thought that, if I kept it a secret, it was because it didn’t work out, but if I told them, it would be because it was something that was real. Something that would be lasting. That terrified me the most.
“Your brain’s working way too hard right now.” Greg came up beside me and I snapped out of my thoughts. I looked over at him walking in step with me. He was wearing grey jogger pants, with a black shirt and grey jacket. I was always surprised when I saw Greg workout in any way, because he seemed always so much more put together, not just in his outfit, but in the way he acted. Like being out and about was what made him him.
“How can you tell?” We were getting to the steepest part of the incline now, where I needed to focus the most to get up without an accident.
“When you’re thinking too hard, you scrunch your nose and you get these wrinkles in between your eyebrows.” He laughed at himself. “It’s the cutest thing.”
“What, you stalking me some more?” I laughed at his comment.
“Doll,” Greg reached for my hand and I didn’t stop him. “I’ve been watching for years. I’m not the only one who’s been blind to what’s been going on between us.”
I looked over to him and a blush spread across my face. I made no comment to him as we finished making our way up to the top of Stone Mountain, Greg helping me up the last little bit. I hadn’t been up here in about three months, so I was a little rusty. I needed to get out more and silently made a commitment to get the girls out here every weekend again. I had been slacking on the working out and even though it wasn’t showing on my body, I could feel it in the way my bones moaned at the fact that I had just put them through a hike up a mountain.
When we hit the topmost part of the mountain, I took time to breathe in the air and take in my surroundings. I always loved being on top of this mountain. It brought a peace that I didn’t know I was seeking.
“We’re going to take the cable car down.” Erica broke my reverie as she stood next to Jack and Chase.
“Did you want to walk or take the car down?” Greg didn’t give a response to Erica, but instead asked me what I wanted to do, like whatever I was going to do was what he was going to do.
As much as my legs yelled at me, I knew I needed to walk back down this mountain. If I didn’t, I knew I would be giving up just because I felt a little sore. Walking back down would also give me the chance to talk to Greg because, in reality and off this mountain, we had to go on a date this weekend and neither of us had set up anything.
“We’re going to walk back down.” My answer to Erica made her eyebrows lift in surprise, but she quickly checked herself and ushered the guys to the building off to the side.
“We’ll meet you two down at the cars.” Erica yelled back to us.
Greg stood next to me, his hand resting to the side of mine, but neither of us reached for the other. It wasn’t until we watched our friends enter the building that Greg reached over and squeezed my hand
“Ready?” His question was sincere, but then he looked down to where our hands were locked together. He wasn’t asking if I was ready to climb down a mountain. He was asking if my legs were ready to climb down. I laughed at him and pulled my hand away from his. I started walking with no answer, but soon felt him behind me. Most of the walk down was silent and, as much as I wanted to talk to him about this date, I just didn’t know how to bring it up.
I’m pretty sure I started and stopped multiple conversations from coming out of my mouth, in order to not sound stupid for bringing it up first. I did try to sneak a few peeks over at Greg during our descent, but each time he was staring off into the distance and not paying any attention to me.
When we finally reached the bottom, he grabbed my hand to stop me. I could see Erica and the guys in the distance over by where Erica had parked her car, which just so happened to be where Jack parked his truck.
“I wanted to talk to you about this date.” I was relieved that Greg had said it first. “I’m not really sure what to do.”
“I’m glad, because I’m not sure, either.” We laughed and it settled the rising tension between the two of us.
“Maybe something tonight or tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I think that could work.” I smiled at him, so glad he was taking the lead on this one because I had no idea where to start.
“Awesome, then it’s a date.” I couldn’t help but smile when he said the word. This was actually happening. We were going to go on a date.
“I’ll talk to you later then?”
“That sounds perfect.” Greg’s eyes lit up in front of me, and I hadn’t realized just how close we had become during our conversation. He held a hand up to my face and brushed a thumb across my cheek. I tried to drop my head and hide the blush that was creeping up but he reached for my chin and lifted my head, brushing his lips to mine. He let go before I was able to grab hold of him to deepen the kiss.
“See ya, doll.” He tossed a wink at me and started to make his way to his car, which was parked on the opposite side of the parking lot. Had he driven himself here? He normally rode with Jack, unless he planned on going somewhere else. But you know what? I had no say in anything he did or didn’t do. Hell. We were only just going to go on our first date this weekend.
I made my way over to where Erica was now waiting alone, since the guys had already headed out. The look on her face was priceless because I knew she wanted to ask so many questions, but I couldn’t offer her the answers that she needed.
“What was that about?” Erica questioned me finally when we got in the car. I didn’t know how to answer her. I wanted to say “Nothing,” but that wasn’t right because it was something. The soft kiss that Greg had planted on my lips and the words we had spoken were something. The kind of something that could lead to something more.