“You two are the weirdest.” Alexa looked between Greg and me.
We were sitting in the conference room on the fifth floor of The Ink Well. We had boxes of pizza lining the table, and Greg and I were both dipping ours in ranch dressing and shoving it into our mouths. We had left Helen this morning at the ass crack of dawn and showed up to the apartment with enough time to change and that was it. We were both starving and we each had a box of pizza sitting in front of us. If I knew Greg, he would be finishing his own box just as I would.
“Don’t judge,” I said to her with a mouth full of pizza. Everyone at the table got a full view of just how much of a lady I wasn’t.
“Yeah, what she said.” Greg finished off the piece of pizza in his hand and reached for another.
“Ok, sorry that took so long.” Max walked into the conference room and locked the door behind him. He went to the keypad next to the door and changed the setting to the window behind up to make it frosted. This feature separated the room from anyone being able to see in. I knew we were having an executive meeting, but I didn’t know it was something secretive. “Now, down to business.”
I looked over to Greg who just shrugged his shoulders, like he didn’t know what was going on either.
“We’re all here today to talk about something that’s been going on in the office, that I think we all just need to address.” Max’s words turned me rigid.
My body knew when something bad was about to happen, it always did, and the sinking feeling that I felt at the bottom of my stomach made me want to throw up every slice of pizza I had just eaten. I shifted my knee under the table to nudge Greg, but he just kept eating.
I looked over to Alexa and Erica with a what-the-fuck look, but they wouldn’t meet my gaze. Neither would Jack, Chase, or Max.
“Greg.” He sat frozen, mid-bite, when he heard Max say his name. It wasn’t done nicely, but like he was snapping in front of Greg’s face and he needed him to pay attention now. Greg finished his bite and then set down the piece of pizza in his hand and turned towards me looking for answers I didn’t have.
I thought we were done with our counseling sessions, but it seemed like our co-workers and friends had decided differently.
“We need to address yours and Lilly’s relationship.” Max stood at the head of the table, his hands clasped at his front, legs spread apart, like he was ready to fight this conversation all the way through.
“What’s there to address?” Greg was leaning back in his chair with his hands crossed over his chest. It was a standoff between these two, and all I wanted to do was run from the building.
“Jack told me this morning that you let your parents know about you and Lilly. Clearly it’s something to address.” I didn’t like the fact that Max was releasing our personal information into the open room, but then again, it wasn’t like anyone in here didn’t know what was going on.
“So?” Greg mocked at Max.
“So, that means this is serious, Greg.” Max slammed his palms onto the table and let out a huff in frustration. “I don’t want this affecting the workplace. It has already set a strain on the two of you. I’m not trying to step on and any toes here, but now—”
Max took a deep breath and stood up straight again, like what he was about to say was going to be the worst of it and I wasn’t ready.
“If this isn’t something that is going to last, or something that’s just a game, I think you two should end it now.” His face was stern and unwavering. I looked to Greg who was fuming.
“You don’t get to tell me who I have a relationship with when you went after one of my former employees.” Greg shoved his finger into the air and pointed between Max and Alexa.
“Don’t bring her into this.” Max narrowed his eyes at Greg and then moved closer to Alexa.
“He’s right though, Max,” Alexa stood and made her way to Max’s side. When she touched his chest you could see the tension is his body dissipate. Their attention was only on each other. “I told you I didn’t agree with this.”
“I just don’t want this place to turn into a war zone when two of my best financial people decide they don’t want to work together anymore and turn against each other.” Max looked up from Alexa and towards Greg and me. “I don’t want this affecting anything with work. Last week when I had to step in, I knew that was the last time I was going to do it. You two are going to have to figure things out here, and you need to let me know by Monday.”
“Let you know what?” I was surprised that the question even came from me, because I was left speechless by what was happening right now.
“If this is something that’s going to last.” Max’s words were final as he unlocked the door to the room and ushered Alexa out. Chase and Jack filed out next and Greg was hot on their heels, leaving me alone with Erica. I just sat there, staring at the table, trying to process what was going on.
Our friends were the ones asking us to decide if this was something that was going to last and I couldn’t even tell you the answer.
“Lilly—”
“Whose idea was it?” I snapped at Erica.
“The guys brought it up, but Alexa and I didn’t agree that it should be brought up in front of everyone. We did kind of agree that it needed to be addressed.” She got up and moved towards me, but I still didn’t meet her gaze. “This could affect all of us, Lilly.”
I pushed out of my chair and stomped out of the room. I knew this could affect everyone. It’s why I had been on pins and needles for the last month, but today my worst fears were starting to come to light. Max wanted to know by Monday if Greg and I were going to have something lasting, and that same day we were set to go to the courthouse to answer that exact same question.
I went to my desk to get my purse to head out for the day. Everything else that I needed to do could be done at home, but I stopped when I saw Greg waiting at my desk holding my purse. When he saw me, he handed it over and we left the building together. There were no words exchanged, just us simmering in a state of frustration. When we got to our apartments, Greg opened his door and led me inside. He closed the door, leaving me alone in his apartment. I stood there in the doorway as I listened to him going into my apartment, and rummaging around and then closing the door and locking it. He came back into his apartment with my laptop and charger in hand.
As we went led me into his apartment, I realized it was a lot different from mine. The layout was much bigger, even though I only spotted one door off to the side for the bedroom. The living room was massive, with a full-size lounging set, where Greg motioned for me to sit. He opened my laptop and prepped everything for what I needed to do.
I sat down, pulled the computer to my lap and opened my email. Then I heard Greg leave the apartment once more. I tried not to look around, but I couldn’t help it. This apartment was totally different from how Greg had originally furnished the one I had now. The furniture was more sleek and the kitchen had black granite countertops and black cupboards. The walls were painted a soft grey with black flecks, and there was no TV in the living room. Instead he had a wall of built-in book shelves from floor to ceiling and completely filled. I set my laptop to the side on the couch and made my way to the bedroom door and opened it into a wonderland. The room was painted in a dark olive green with a king-size canopy bed in the middle of the room that made it feel almost like walking into a different world.
I heard the door to the apartment open, but before I could leave the room, Greg was standing in the doorway blocking me.
“Do you like it?” His eyes were big, like he needed the reassurance that the home he had created here without me was perfect.
“I love it.” I said as I looked around the room once more.
“Come with me.” He pulled at my hand for me to follow, and that’s when I noticed the duffle bag he was holding with a few of my dresses peeking out. He had gone over to my apartment to get me clothes. Greg pulled me towards a door off to the right and opened up to a large closet that was only half-full. “The empty side is yours.”
Greg turned around to look at me, but I wasn’t paying attention, just shoving him out of the way and taking the duffle from his hand to hang up my clothes. There was a dresser on my side and a whole row of black velvet hangers. I looked back at Greg, who was leaning against the door frame watching me, as I started to empty out my bag. I thought he had only packed dresses, bras, and heels, but down at the very bottom was my favorite pair of Converse, jeans, and Fall Out Boy shirt.
“What, no underwear?” I laughed as I shoved the bras he had packed into the top drawer.
“I don’t see a need for them.” He shot back at me and I laughed at him and continued to unpack.I filled the rest of the dresser with what I could and hung up my dresses, then moved to the shoe rack. I stepped back to see just how empty my side still was, when I felt Greg’s arms wrap around me.
“Your stuff looks good in here.” His kissed below my ear and that’s how we started our weekend of hibernation.
Greg and I didn’t go to work on Friday. We stayed in bed all day working from our laptops. We had taken the conversation we had at our last session with Tessa seriously, about spending more time together and I was shocked when we didn’t start to get sick of each other. We worked well together in the sense that we didn’t always need each other. We liked a lot of the same things, but we still had our little things that kept us sane, like Greg’s love of mystery books and my passion for romantic movies, which I snuck in watching on my laptop when Greg got engrossed in a chapter.
Our differences allowed for us to be able to spend time apart, but still be together. Greg had managed to sneak out of the apartment once to grab some groceries to make dinner on Saturday night. I had finished one movie and started another when I finally look at the clock to see that he had been gone for over two hours. Just when I was about to call him, Greg finally came back with more than just groceries. He brought an entire new wardrobe for me, stating that he loved what I normally wore, but wanted to try something a little different.
I had gone through the bags he had brought while he cooked dinner that night and found a few sundresses that showed more skin than I was normally comfortable, but then there were some new formal dresses and a royal blue pant suit. I hung everything up and pulled out the shoes from the bottom of the bag and saw a pair to match each dress.
I knew it was a crazy notion but I loved that Greg had taken it upon himself to do this. I looked through the clothes, running my hands across them thinking that he was creating a new life for us. Something that was in the apartment only, not what was left behind in the other apartment. That was the past and this was the future.
It had felt good not to have the pressure of our friends breathing down our necks over the weekend. Alexa and Erica had messaged me a few times to see if we were still alive, but I assured them we could do brunch on Sunday if they let Greg and me have the rest of the weekend to ourselves.
So here I was, making my way to the back of the restaurant where I saw Alexa and Erica sitting at a table waiting for me. Both of them were speechless when I reached the table, both looking me up and down. Today I decided to wear one of the new sundresses that Greg had bought yesterday. It was a light blue that made me look more tan than I was and cupped what little breasts I did have and made them look even larger. Greg had expressed how he didn’t like it when I wore bras or panties because it was just another barrier for him, so since he had taken them off Thursday night, I hadn’t put any back on.
I sat down at the table and reached across the girls to grab some candied bacon and popped it into my mouth.
“You look sexed up.” Alexa commented on my outfit and I choked on the piece that was trying to be swallowed.
“Thanks,” I coughed, trying to make sure that it went down the right side. To make the burning sensation stop, I reached for Alexa’s mimosa and downed about half of it, instantly soothing my throat.
The waiter stopped at our table and dropped off a mimosa for me without us even having to ask and then on his way back placed an opened bottle of champagne and a pitcher of orange juice on our table. Once upon a time we came here every Sunday for a whole month and once drank them out of champagne. We had no shame.
“Did you order my sausage sliders?” I hadn’t directed the question towards anyone in particular, but Erica was the one who answered.
“You’re acting like we don’t know you.” She laughed just as the waiter brought our platters, mine filled with four sliders and a side of scrambled eggs. I reached for the ketchup, smothered my eggs and dove in.
“Has Greg not been feeding you?” Erica snatched the fork out of my hand after I had shoveled three huge bites of eggs into my mouth.
“Please don’t ever say that again.” Alexa covered her ears and started to drown us out.
“What’s her problem?” Erica look at me then to Alexa.
“Max once said that to me about Adam. I know where that question leads.” She just shook her head and continued to eat her food.
“Ok…” Erica held the fork between me and her and I ducked my head to snatch the food that was hanging from it. “Lilly!” Erica pulled the fork further away, but not before I finished the bite.
“What?” I said with a full mouth, as I reached over and grabbed Alexa’s fork instead and continued to eat away.
“Speaking of Max,” Alexa said, as she finished chewing the bite she had gotten in before I stole her fork. “he’s serious about you two telling him about your relationship tomorrow.”
I had avoided this conversation with Erica and Alexa for a reason. I didn’t want to think about how our friends had bombarded us with this ultimatum. Both girls had texted me that they were sorry for not warning me, but they had both agreed with what had been said. They didn’t want to see me hurt, or Greg either, so everyone had decided that Greg and I needed to figure this out not just for ourselves, for the whole office.
And I got it. I totally understood where everyone was coming from, but it could have been done in a better way.
“We haven’t really talked about it.” I shrugged my shoulders, pretending like the topic hadn’t been eating away the back of my brain for the last few days. I took a bite of my slider as though I didn’t care what the answer was going to be, even though my heart was racing with the anxiety I was trying to hide.
“Aren’t you guys supposed to go to the courthouse tomorrow first?” Erica got the question out first before Alexa could.
“Yeah, so after that, we’ll probably let Max know whatever our decision is.” I answered after I swallowed the bite of my slider and then reached for another piece of candied bacon.
“What do you mean, ‘whatever our decision is’?” Alexa looked at me like I had two heads.
“Well, we’re going to let the judge know tomorrow if we still want to be married or not. If one of us says no, she’ll grant the divorce.” I continued to eat, but Alexa and Erica had their full attention on me.
“Do you want the divorce?” Erica posed the question to me and I already knew my answer because it was the first word that came out of my mouth.
“No.” Alexa reached over to grab my hand and squeezed my hand. I had just admitted to both of them that my heart had changed. That what I’d been so dead set on a month ago had completely changed.
“Have you told Greg this yet?”
“No,” I said sheepishly. I hadn’t admitted to him either that I didn’t want us to get a divorce, but he had been the one to say right off the bat that he didn’t want to divorce, so I knew when we went into the courthouse tomorrow morning my answer would be music to his ears.
“I think you should tell him tonight.” Erica chimed in.
“You think?” I asked wearily, unsure if that was the best thing to do. I knew we had to talk about it, but I just didn’t know what to say that hadn’t already been said.
“We know so.” Alexa and Erica had exchanged glances and I knew they were right.
I took a deep breath and thought about it. I needed to do this.
Tonight I would tell Greg that I wanted us to stay married.
That I wanted us to have a future.
That I wanted his last name.
But I never got the chance.