Chapter 11
I swallow down the unexpected lump that has risen in my throat as I read his text over and over. JP has changed his mind about our date on Friday night.
He’s no longer interested.
A cold feeling rushes over me. A knot forms in the pit of my stomach, and to my surprise, tears prick my eyes.
As soon as I feel them, I will them to stop. My reaction is an overreaction. So what if he doesn’t want to go out? This is why we agreed to casual. I shouldn’t feel this way at all. In fact, this is for the best. It reminds me that we are simply hanging out, and it’s never going to be anything more than that.
And because we’re casual, JP isn’t offering any reason why he can’t make it.
He doesn’t have to.
So why do I feel so hurt?
I move next to Jordan’s apartment building, leaning against the brick wall, and text him back:
Okay.
Then I hit send.
But it’s not okay.
I head to my car, parked along the curb in the blazing sunlight, confused as to why this is happening. In the past, I’ve always been the one who canceled. I was the one who wanted to take a step back. Now I realize what a crappy position this is to be in, on the other side of it, left in confusion and wondering why.
Did JP wake up this morning and change his mind? After we talked all night and he held me in his arms? Did I get too close? Or did he realize how goofy and strange I am and it’s too much for him? Was he skating with Matt this morning and realized he wasn’t feeling it?
A pain grips my heart. How can that be? After the way we talked, after the way he held me . . . did it mean everything to me and nothing to him?
The fact that being in JP’s arms already means so much to me scares me to death. I’ve never had feelings like this. Normally, when a guy is embracing me, it feels nice. When I was with Drake, my ex, it was comfortable. I liked it.
But I didn’t need it.
With JP, the second I had to let go of him last night, I missed him. All I wanted was to feel his touch again. His skin against mine, my head on his chest, inhaling the scent of his cologne on his skin.
And now I might have to get my head around the idea that I’ll never be in his arms again.
Beep!
I open the door to my Prius, the hot air escaping as I do, and sit inside the stifling car. I wonder if the text is from JP, and if it is, I’m scared to check it. I’ll die if it’s an excuse or promise to reschedule soon, a promise that will never be kept.
I turn the AC on full blast and close my eyes.
Beep!
I need to read my messages.
Beep!
But I’m afraid they’ll hurt my heart.
I force my eyes open and pick up my phone.
All three are from JP. I man up and read the first one:
There’s a reason why I can’t do Friday.
Ugh, no. No, no, no, here comes nice guy JP with some polite, manufactured excuse as to why he can’t make it to spare my feelings.
I draw a breath of air for courage and read the next one:
I can’t do Friday because I can’t wait that long.
I freeze.
What?
I go on to the most recent text JP sent:
I need to see you, Reese. Can we make our date tonight instead?
My heart practically bursts with joy. Excitement surges through every inch of me, and pure relief takes over.
JP wants to see me now.
And I want to see him, too.
I happily reply:
Are you suggesting a night out in Gotham this evening, Batman?
Then I hit send.
Beep!
I still need to confirm your feline vision, Catwoman. If you are game for tonight, that is.
Oh, I’m so game.
I text back:
Yes, I’m in. Details?
Beep!
You only need one. My place, around seven-thirty. Bring a swimsuit.
Swimsuit?
We’re going to swim.
Which means I’ll get to see JP’s athletic body in swim trunks.
Oh, yes.
I grin and respond, deciding to tease him:
Are you checking my vision or my abs tonight, JP?
I bet he’s turning pink right now.
JP replies:
Je voudrais vérifier les deux choix
Ooh, he’s texting me in French!
Talk about sexy.
I respond:
I have no clue what you said.
Beep!
You might find out tonight.
I smile happily to myself.
Yes, I fully intend to.
And I can’t wait for an evening swim with my sexy date this evening.