Chapter 19
I freeze as I put the key in the lock. Then I turn around and stare up at JP.
“Give me five minutes for an emergency clean up,” I say, changing my mind about letting him into my real world.
After all, we’ve had this amazing exotic meal and shared brilliant conversation, and now I’m going to show him how ridiculously messy I am and completely ruin his image of me?
JP absently moves his hand over his jaw. “I don’t know. That’s not very Real.Life.Reese, is it?”
“JP. It is. It’s Real.Life.Reese, cleaning.”
“No.”
Ugh.
JP grins down at me. “It doesn’t matter. Unless you are hiding a body in there or something.”
I can’t help but laugh. “No.”
“There’s no shrine to another hockey player in there, with wall-to-wall pictures and candles lit?”
“No. No shrines. I’m messy, not JPsSwissMiss.”
JP freezes. “You know about her?”
I flash him a mischievous smile. “Oh, I do, and I bet she has a shrine to you, Batman.”
Now JP groans.
“Ha-ha!” I say triumphantly.
“We’re not talking about my fans,” JP redirects. “We’re talking about you, letting me inside your apartment.”
“What if I don’t?”
JP moves closer to me, sliding his arms around me and drawing me into his massive chest.
“Then you’ll miss this,” JP says sexily, lowering his mouth to mine. His lips part mine, his tongue slipping into my mouth, moving against mine in a slow, lingering kiss as his hands slide up and sensually rake through my hair.
Oh, my. I melt into him, my hands finding his face and feeling his smooth skin, sending a shiver of happiness down my spine.
JP breaks the kiss. “You’ll miss that if you don’t let me inside.”
I bite my lip, and I see JP’s eyes are riveted to my mouth.
He’s so coming inside.
I quickly turn the key in the lock, opening the door. Then I turn around and grab JP, kissing him hard on the mouth.
We move into my dark apartment, kissing desperately. His hands skim down my sides, my hands roam across his muscular back. Our kissing is hot and frantic and I can’t get enough of him. I want this. I want scorching kisses that leave my lips numb. I want them from JP.
“I want you,” JP murmurs against my mouth before going back for another deep kiss.
Oh, yes.
“I want you, too,” I moan.
I find his hair and run my fingers through it, nibbling on his lower lip, and a groan of desire escapes his throat. I’m moving backward as we kiss, and suddenly I step on something and go tumbling, taking JP with me as I do.
Thud! I fall back and hit the hardwood floor hard, and JP lands flat on top of me, pinning me down as my head hits the floor with a bang.
“Ow!” I cry, as my head begins throbbing.
“Reese!” JP yells, scrambling up. “Honey, are you okay?”
“My head,” I say, sitting up.
JP moves behind me and runs his fingers over the back of my head.
“I don’t feel blood,” he says. “Let me turn on a light so I can see.”
JP gets up, but in the darkness stumbles over something and trips, wiping out next to me.
Ack!
“What the hell?” JP turns and picks up one of my cross-trainer shoes.
“JP! Are you all right? I’m so sorry. We tripped on my shoes!”
“Don’t worry about it. I need a light.”
Mortification consumes me as JP gets up, locates the light switch, and turns it on.
While my head is absolutely throbbing, I see that we not only tripped on my workout shoes but my yoga bag, which has flown all the way into the kitchen entry.
I want to cry. I nearly killed JP with my inability to put my own crap away.
JP comes back and kneels down next to me to carefully examine my head.
“I don’t see any cuts, but I should take you to the ER. You might have a concussion.”
“What? No, absolutely not,” I say, shaking my head.
“I’ll call the team doctor,” JP says, ignoring me.
“JP, stop. I hit my head. It hurts, but I’ll be fine.”
“No, you need to get it checked.”
I see the alarm in his eyes as he retrieves his phone from his pocket.
JP’s honest concern for my well-being touches my heart, and I put my hand on his arm to stop him.
“I’ll get it checked if I get symptoms, but, for now, I promise I’m okay.”
JP puts his phone down. “I’ll check on you a million times after I leave.”
“And I’ll answer honestly a million times.”
We’re silent for a moment as we sit on my hallway floor. JP looks around the room, and I take in what he’s seeing.
My coffee table has my laptop parked on it, with a stack of notebooks beside it. My water bottle, half-empty, sits next to a stack of opened bills, tossed every which way in a heap. The sofa has a pile of throw pillows and about five blankets strewn across the top. I also have some books on one end of the couch, and an empty glass on the end table, along with my bag of rice cakes.
JP’s gaze lands on the laundry basket next to us, as I couldn’t be bothered to take it to my room last night, and a huge pile of lacy thongs rests on top.
“I don’t always leave my underwear in the living room!” I blurt out.
JP turns, and a slow, sexy smile passes over his face. “I consider that a perk for me, getting a preview of your underwear like this.”
“This is beyond embarrassing,” I wail, easing myself back to the floor and staring up at the ceiling fan to avoid his gaze. “I tripped over my own shit, crash landed with you on the floor, then you fell again, and now you’re seeing that I’m crap at picking up after myself, and you haven’t even seen the kitchen or the bathroom yet, and I know you must wonder how I can live like—”
JP silences me by leaning over and dropping a kiss on my lips, one so gentle and tender my heart flutters in response.
He moves next to me, and I turn to face him so we’re lying side-by-side on the floor.
“You make my life interesting,” JP says softly as he gently combs his fingers through my hair.
I swear I can’t breathe.
“I’ve only been in it three days.”
“I know.”
“You’ve discovered one of my fatal flaws. I’m a mess.”
“I told you, I don’t like ice in my drinks. Who cares? Besides, we have a great intro story now. The time we entered your apartment and tripped over shoes and crash-landed on the floor? Who can say that?”
I begin to laugh, and he does, too. Then we’re laughing so hard we’re crying. Finally, we stop and I can speak.
“My mess doesn’t scare you, does it?”
“No. Other things scare me. This isn’t one of them.”
“What does scare you?” I ask softly.
The conversation is about to turn serious now. For two people hanging out, I can feel it shifting. Part of me is terrified. The closer we get, the more I have to reveal. Open up. Allow the possibility of being hurt.
But lying here on the floor with JP, side by side, being emotionally open is a risk I’m going to take.
“Not having what my parents have. The love they have. To live a life without that scares me. What about you?”
“Being vulnerable. Opening myself up for hurt.”
JP’s eyes lock with mine. We’re inches apart, starting to bare our souls to each other.
I realize the intimacy I’m sharing with JP is more than I’ve shared with any man.
Even men I’ve had sex with.
Whoa.
What is happening here?
Am I already starting to fall for JP?
“What else scares you?” I ask, needing to get back on more secure ground. “Big or small.”
JP continues to stroke my hair, which makes me relax a bit.
“Snakes,” he says easily.
“Good thing you moved to Texas, since we have none,” I tease.
“I hate them. Anything that can cause my death with one bite I’m scared of. What about you?”
“Tornadoes. And thunderstorms,” I say. “Severe thunderstorms terrify me. I hate the loud thunder, the lightning, the hail.”
“I think they’re kind of cool,” JP admits.
“When I was a little girl,” I say, “when my parents were still married, there was a bad storm with large hail. The sirens were going off, and the weather person was talking about circular rotation, and we all had to get in the bathroom. Hail was slamming on the roof. It sounded like baseballs were being thrown at it. Then the skylights shattered and rain came pouring in. Jordan held on to me, and I was crying I was so scared.”
“Where were your parents?” JP asks. “Why weren’t they comforting you?”
“Mom and Dad were fighting,” I say quietly. “They were screaming at each other in the bathroom in front of me and Jordan. Dad said he’d rather take his chances in a tornado than be stuck with Mom. Mom screamed he could do it for all she cared, all he did was make her feel weak and powerless. I was terrified he’d leave us and be hurt, but he didn’t. They fought until the sirens shut off.”
I see the disbelief in JP’s eyes. Shame engulfs me. Obviously this wasn’t a normal way to grow up. To a man like JP, who was raised by parents who loved and respected each other, knowing how wheels off my upbringing was probably makes him uncomfortable.
“Reese,” JP whispers, “I’m so sorry. You were a little girl. You should have been made to feel safe by the adults in your life.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” I plead. “I’m okay now. Well, except I’m scared of storms.”
“People who love you should help you navigate storms,” JP says, moving his hand down to my face and cupping it protectively. “All of them. That’s what you should have now.”
Tears prick my eyes. I feel so exposed to this man, laying out a part of my past for him. A part of who I am. And he’s not running from the conversation or trying to make light of it.
“Whenever there is a storm,” JP says quietly, “of any kind, I will be there. If you want me to be. That’s a promise.”
I nearly lose my breath as I realize the direction things have taken. I no longer see this man as someone I’m hanging out with.
As JP’s mouth claims mine in a sweet, protective kiss, a new feeling surges in my heart, one I’ve never wanted. One I’ve never needed.
Certainly, one I’ve never felt before.
I realize JP could be the man I’m meant to fall in love with.