Scarlet

 

I came down for breakfast on Monday morning to find my grandmother at the stove. She was making banana pancakes, and they smelled amazing. I walked over to her and kissed her cheek, inhaling the delicious smell.

“Smells awesome,” I said as I poured myself some coffee and sat down.

“Thank you,” she said. “They’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

“Sounds good,” I said.

Grandmother finished cooking and came over to the table. She set the pancakes down and watched while I helped myself. I ate in silence, waiting for her to join me, but she didn’t. Her eyes were glued to my face. I could tell she wanted to talk about something, but she was waiting for the right time.

After a few minutes, I could no longer take the staring. I smiled and cleared my throat, setting down my fork and folding my hands in front of me.

“What is it, Grandmother?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” she asked, feigning innocence.

I laughed. “I can tell you want to say something. So, come on. What is it?”

“How was your date?” she asked. Her smile was meaningful and brought a laugh to my lips. I shook my head, amused by her interest.

“It was amazing,” I said. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed myself more. Lucien is just so charming. The more time I spend around him, the more I like him.”

“He seems like a wonderful young man,” Grandmother said with an approving nod. “Not many his age would take the time to come in and talk to an old woman each time he visits.”

“He likes you,” I said. “He thinks you’re cool.”

“I am cool,” she said proudly.

I laughed and nodded my agreement. In so many ways, my grandmother was the coolest woman I knew. She was loving and caring in a way that made me feel safe and understood. She also encouraged me to experience new things and have adventures. It was a nice change from being with my mother. I’d never felt more like myself than I did in New York.

“I just hope he likes me,” I said, speaking more to myself than Grandmother.

My insecurities were rearing their ugly head yet again. When I was with Lucien, I felt confident and sexy, but being alone made that confidence disappear. I worried I wasn’t experienced or sexual enough to keep him interested.

“He seems to,” Grandmother said. “Why else would he continue to take you out?”

“I really hope so,” I said. “It’s just that Mom used to warn me about men. She said they were nothing like the characters in my romance novels and that I shouldn’t get my hopes up. She said I would probably never find one worth having, that they’re all manipulators and liars.”

“Well, your mother is jaded,” Grandmother said with a shrug. “She believes the worst because it helps her. She doesn’t want to get hurt.”

“But isn’t love worth it?” I asked.

“Of course, it is,” Grandmother said kindly.

“I think so, too,” I said, smiling. “I don’t think I love Lucien yet, but maybe I could. When I saw him at that Delta Pi party on Saturday night, I felt such a rush of affection. I went there to have fun and make friends, but when I saw Lucien, I only wanted to be with him.”

“You went to a Delta Pi party?” Grandmother asked, her tone more serious than before.

“Yes,” I said. “It was the first one of the year. One of the brothers invited me.”

“Lucien?” she asked with raised eyebrows.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Another brother. His name is Bryan. He’s in my Literature class.”

“You said it was the first party of the year?” she asked.

I frowned. There was something different about Grandmother now. Just moments before, she was excited and happy to talk about my feelings for Lucien. She was practically glowing. I could tell she was thrilled that I was finally putting myself out there, but now, she looked worried and upset. Her eyes were dark, and her eyebrows were knitted together. I’d never seen her look so concerned.

“Is everything okay?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Did you have fun at the party?” she asked, not answering my question. “Everyone treated you well?”

“Of course,” I said. I was more confused than ever. “The guys were great, and I even chatted with a few new girlfriends. I did drink a little bit, but I wasn’t too drunk. Lucien and I spent most of the night together, just the two of us.”

I didn’t tell her what happened between Lucien and me, but her eyes narrowed as I spoke. From everything she’d said about Lucien, I didn’t think she would mind that I spent most of Saturday night with him. Besides, we didn’t have sex.

“Oh,” she said. I waited for her to say more, but she didn’t. She just sipped her coffee and avoided my eyes.

“Grandmother,” I said. “Is there something wrong? Should I not have gone to the party?”

She looked at me intensely for a few seconds, not saying a word. Her eyes were still dark with concern, but her face was kind and open. She wasn’t angry with me, that much was clear, but she also wasn’t happy. I didn’t understand why, and I waited patiently for an explanation that never came.

“Of course, you should have gone,” she said with a smile. The smile was broad and bright, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m just glad you had such a wonderful time.”

I tried to smile back, but it felt more like a grimace. No matter what my grandmother said, I knew something wasn’t right. Her mood shifted too drastically when I mentioned the party. I wanted to ask her more, but I didn’t feel like I should. She was obviously upset and didn’t want to talk about it.

As I finished breakfast, I remembered Lexie’s warning about the Delta Pi fraternity. Grandmother’s concern seemed to match Lexie’s, and I wondered if Delta Pi’s reputation extended back to the time Grandmother attended NYU.

***

My classes on Mondays ended early, so I met Lexie for lunch at a local deli. I’d never been there before, so I let her order her favorite for me, and we sat down together to eat. We talked about classes for a while before the conversation took a more serious, interesting turn. I could tell Lexie was itching to find out if I went to the Delta party, but she didn’t want to pry. We’d only just become friends, and I could tell she was afraid to push the boundaries too early.

“So,” I said, clearing my throat. “I went to the Delta party this weekend.”

Lexie’s eyes widened instantly. She laid her sandwich back on the table and looked at me with concern. She seemed to be preparing herself for the worst.

“How was it?” she asked.

“It was actually really fun,” I said with a soft laugh. “I know you were worried about me, and I appreciate it, but nothing bad happened at all. The guys were nice, and I even met a couple girls to chat with for a while. It was great.”

“Wow,” Lexie said. “I’m glad you had fun, but I’m really surprised. That frat has a terrible reputation. I was really worried something bad might happen to you.”

“Nope,” I said with a shrug. “Only good things. Really, really good things.”

I grinned down at the table as I remembered my sexual encounter with Lucien. Just the memory brought a blush to my cheeks and made my body light up with desire. I couldn’t wait to spend the entire weekend with him. I knew exactly what would happen, and I was ready.

“What happened?” Lexie asked suspiciously.

When I looked back up at Lexie, I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell her everything. She was my first real girlfriend, and I desperately needed someone to talk to about Lucien, but I worried she would disapprove or judge me. After all, she was against me going to the party in the first place.

“Okay,” I said. “But if I tell you, you have to promise not to judge me, okay?”

“I would never,” Lexie said with a serious tone.

I believed her. Despite having only just met, I already trusted Lexie. Maybe it was my naïveté or just my desire to have a friend, but I believed she was a good person.

“Well,” I began. “I was dancing with a group of people when Lucien came over. Lucien Wolfe.”

“I know him,” Lexie nodded.

“I was drunk,” I admitted. “But not blackout drunk. I had a few beers. It was the first time I had ever had so much as a sip of alcohol.”

“Seriously?” Lexie’s eyes widened in surprise.

I nodded. “Yup. So, I was having a really great time. Everyone was nice, and then, Lucien came up and kind of pulled me upstairs without a word. He asked why I was there, and he seemed upset by it.”

“Why?” Lexie asked with a frown.

“I have no idea,” I said. “At first, I thought maybe he was annoyed by me? Like, he just didn’t want me around? Then, when we were upstairs, I realized he was actually just worried about me. He didn’t want me to do anything I might regret.”

“And did you?” Lexie asked.

“No,” I said. “I told Lucien that I wanted to have sex with him.”

Lexie’s mouth fell open, and she stared at me in shock. She didn’t seem like the type to be shy about boldness. She herself was very blunt.

“Have you ever?” she asked.

“No,” I admitted. “Like I told you, my experience is extremely limited.”

“Did you and Lucien…?”

“No,” I said again. “He refused. Which was a huge hit to my ego, you know? But then, I realized it was actually really sweet. He said I was too drunk, and he didn’t think it was a good idea. He didn’t want me to lose my virginity while I was drunk.”

“Wow,” Lexie said. “Lucien Wolfe said that?”

I nodded. “We did… other stuff, though. Not sex or anything, but we fooled around a little bit.”

“You feel okay about that?” she asked.

“I really do,” I said with confidence. “Lucien was so sweet.”

“Men can be deceiving,” Lexie warned. She took a sip of her drink.

“Lucien’s not like that,” I said. “I mean, he took care of me. Most guys wouldn’t have done that, right?”

“Probably not,” she admitted. “But seriously, be careful. You’re new to all of this, and I don’t want to see you get hurt, Scarlet.”

“I know,” I said with a smile. “I like Lucien. He’s great. He took me out Saturday night on a real date, and he invited me to go away with him this weekend.”

“You’re not going, are you?” Lexie asked.

I laughed. “Of course, I am. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you don’t know him that well yet,” Lexie pointed out.

“But I feel like I do,” I argued. “I really, really like him, Lexie.”

Lexie sighed and reached across the table to take my hand. She squeezed it gently and smiled at me.

“You’re a catch, Scarlet,” she said. “I know you’re eager to experience new things, but just remember that you don’t have to do anything. Make him work for you.”

I squeezed her hand back and smiled. She was a great friend. I knew she was only looking out for me, but she didn’t understand. Lucien and I had known each other for weeks now. I was ready to take things to the next level with him. After the frat party, I knew he cared about me. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have turned down my offer to sleep with him. Despite Lexie’s concerns, I trusted Lucien completely.

As we finished lunch, I daydreamed about what the weekend would bring.