Lacey

“WHAT IN THE HELL are we talking here?” Jessa asked over the phone the next morning before I was due to set out with Sara to the salon. She finished her show by 9am and had called me straightaway it seemed.

“What do you mean?” I sighed, though I knew what she meant. I was used to quizzing her on shit, not the other way around.

“Is this love? Infatuation? Are you really going home or just teasing me?” she quipped. I hadn’t seen her in a couple of months and that was unlike us, but she was so busy with her kids and this place was twenty-four-seven.

“Um, I told him I loved him,” I said quietly.

“What?” she almost screeched. I must have been on the speakerphone in her car as I could hear that she sounded further away than she usually would.

“Well, I do. I mean he’s just a really great guy, and he’s going through some tough shit and he manages it all so well and he’s tough and dependable and he’s...” I sighed. It was hard to put everything into words about why Alex was the freakin’ bomb.

“You make him sound like some loyal dog.” She let out a breath, “Lacey you were meant to go away to get over stuff and come back fighting, not descend into the mountains and fall in love.”

“We don’t have a future. I am not delusional,” I winced at the reality of my own words, “but he’s the best man I’ve ever met with the biggest heart and he’s just such a doer, he gets the job done with no whining and no messing or self-pity.” I shook my head to myself, “I can’t expect you to get it.”

“Oh I get it, believe me,” she squeaked, “you spent your whole life looking for a guy you thought you needed and building this life where you wanted for nothing and now you’ve found someone who actually sets you on fire and you wondered what the hell you were doing before?”

“Shit, Jessa, yes.” I croaked out, “did you think Bryan was wrong for me?” I asked in a harsh voice, it wasn’t her fault, but I felt annoyed she hadn’t said.

“No,” she blew out the word, “but I got that he didn’t make your heart ache and you didn’t need him like I did with...”

“Will,” I groaned at the thought of that whole saga; co-dependency with a twist that had worked out alright in the end.

“He’s nothing like Will,” I snapped. “For one thing he’s a gentleman and for another he’s not crazy fucked up.”

Jessa laughed. She knew my feelings on her husband and although we got along great now, that wasn’t easy to get to. Hell, I wasn’t easy. “All's I’m saying is you had an idea since college who you wanted to date and where you wanted life to go, hence Bryan. Now you’ve gone off-piste and found someone different and sounds to me like you respect him as much as you care about him and that’s new for you. Most guys get treated like dirt by you, Lace.” She said the last part quietly. 

“Most guys don’t deserve any better,” I snapped.

“Bryan was a good guy, but you still bossed him around and made him feel replaceable. Is Alex that to you?” I thought about Alex; his hard, strong body; his shaggy hair that fell over those gorgeous, bluey green eyes. The way his face contorted when he thrust into me and how much I needed him when I merely saw him over the other side of the room.

“Maybe it is obsession,” I admitted.

“Or maybe you finally met someone who you think is worthy of you, the other guys just didn’t match up and you never respected them for it.” She added quickly.

“Am I on Doctor Phil?” I blurted out. I’d sat on the sofa and was now lying back with my head on the soft cushions.

“What the hell are you gonna do?” she whined. “I had no idea it was so serious. I mean you’re still married and is this rebound? Your life is in New York...” she was babbling.

“Stop!” I placed my hand on my forehead, “I’m flying into JFK next Tuesday, I’m signing papers next week and I’m going to stay in New York until I figure out what the hell I’m gonna do next. You!” I shouted, “will visit me for a few days and we’ll talk this out and you deserve a break from those damned kids.”

She laughed, “I’ll get the air tickets booked.”

I sighed, “I guess I got myself in a sticky situation.”

“You made my heart melt, Lacey. I feel like you finally grew up.” Her voice was all feathery and gooey.

“Jessa, I am twenty-eight. I’ve lived alone for ten years and have been married. I grew up years ago,” I told her.

“But besides me you never really gave a damn about anyone but yourself before... it’s sweet,” she added in a sing-song voice.

“Don’t make me throw up.” I batted back, and we hung up.

Shit. She was right. Alex made me soft, and he ate my heart up like a lawnmower. I did respect him, and I did think he had all the attributes to be as good, if not better than me. Shit.

I couldn’t be late for Sara, so I hightailed it to the SUV, drove out the big house and parked up, running up the steps and without thinking I pushed inside the door. “Sara?” I yelled as I stood in the hallway.

Emma-Louise appeared at the kitchen doorway in her robe and smiled at me, “Morning,” she said. I had momentarily forgotten about her and the fact that this was her house, not just the kids, and me barging in wasn’t ideal. It was exhausting wearing my game face as I hadn’t had to do that for so long around these guys.

“Hey, Emma-Louise.” I grinned my best polite smile and used the voice I reserved for getting my own way, overly pleasant with a touch of elocution.

“Emmie-Lou,” she corrected me. She stepped forward to where I stood. “My kids sure do love you,” she narrowed her eyes and washed them down my jeans and t-shirt appearance. “I see a few things have changed since I’ve been gone.”

 I nodded and stood up straighter. No way would she intimidate me, and I wasn’t even sure if that was her intention. “Alex and I have made improvements for the better,” I trilled.

“And you guys being an item, is that for the better?” she raised an eyebrow but her steely gaze didn’t leave mine.

“I’d say that has nothing to do with the good work we’ve done round here,” I tipped my head to the side and gave her a tight smile.

“I know you know about me, and I bet my son told you all the details and I just want you to know I’d die for these kids and I don’t want to see my son with another broken heart,” she scowled, and I took a deep breath.

“Then don’t break his heart again, Emma-Louise,” I snapped, leaning into her and meeting her stony gaze with more venom than she could ever display. No one fucked with me.

“Hey,” Sara breezed down the stairs and saw us in our stare battle. I stepped back quickly and gave her an easy smile.

“Ready?” I asked, and she nodded.

“Bye, Mom,” she hurried me outside and glanced over at me with worry on her face as we walked to the car.

“What the hell just happened?” she asked as we buckled up.

“I guess we see things differently about what’s right for Alex,” I shrugged.

She rolled her head to the side and looked at me, “I’m pretty sure Alex would side with you,” she smirked.

“No one needs to take sides, but your mom needs to know I care about him, a lot, same for all you guys and she has nothing to worry about.”

Sara nodded, “She just needs to stay sober and then she has nothing to worry about,” she added.

 

We drove to the salon I’d visited when I first came. We were getting our hair done and mani-pedis. I guess I should have invited Emma-Louise but having the day be just Sara and I was more relaxing, and we were so comfortable with each other that it was the best fun. I listened as she told me about guys who had asked her out. Her stock had gone way high over summer and her confidence had soared. She was only fourteen but soon to be fifteen and I remembered how important it was back then to feel desired. 

We sat together with foils on our hair, sipping coffee and reading magazines, “So have you had any more dates?” I asked with interest.

“No,” she shook her head, “Alex would freak.”

“No parties where things get hot and heavy?” I raised an eyebrow.

“No,” she shook her head with wide eyes, “I live in the middle of nowhere and don’t drive, what parties am I going to?” she laughed, “I’m not having sex if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Well,” I dropped my magazine in my lap, “teenagers always find a way, they have since the dawn of time.”

“Not when you live in Celebration Falls,” she blew out a breath. “I’ll be a virgin forever.”

“The best advice I can give is save it for someone who actually gives a shit,” I gave her a knowing glare and she grinned.

“Gotcha.”

Sara had her hair highlighted at the ends to give her an ombre effect and I had my roots dyed blonde again. My hair was dried into curls and Sara had hers straightened poker straight. We chose cute nail colors, and I enjoyed having my feet rubbed and the hard skin removed. After, we had a late lunch at a nearby diner and I loved just listening to the high school gossip and catching up where Sara was with her friends. We avoided talking about me leaving and I guessed that was for the best. The kids had just welcomed their turbulent mother home, and I felt like I was abandoning ship, but this wasn’t my life, they deserved to get back to normal without me.

“Do you think you’ll get your hair back like that for tomorrow?” Sara asked as we drove home.

“Sure,” I shrugged, “you?”

“I’m not so sure,” she sighed.

“Come get ready with me,” I told her, “we can do hair and makeup.”

“Okay,” she grinned, and I was already looking forward to that but nervous that no one would turn up for the next day. This was a big deal, I wanted it to be a big deal.

 

I needn’t have worried.

We had caterers who arrived first thing with waiters to set up. As well as our pastry treats I had hired someone to bring canapés and wine. I’d hired a bounce house, a face painter, and we had set up the horses to be able to give the kids horseback riding walks. There was music blaring from a local folk band I’d hired, and the shop looked exquisite. It wasn’t a huge space, but everything was displayed perfectly. We had a stand set up to talk about wheat and what we did at Bishops Hill. Eric was manning that, he was the best man for the job. I’d hired tables and chairs to be scattered around also so people could just sit down and enjoy the party. 

I tipped up to help set up in sweats and a tank top with my hair and makeup complete. Alex saw me arrive and turned from where he was directing tables to be set up and waved. He’d spent the night in my bed, but I missed him whenever we were apart. I was pathetic. This was my pet project, and yet he was throwing himself into it a hundred and ten percent. That was so Alex. I strode to where he stood. He looked adorable in a dark t-shirt and jeans, allowing me to ogle the hard angles of his muscles.

“You finish up getting ready, I got it.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and squeezed lightly.

“You don’t need time to get stuff done?” I asked.

“Nah, I’m done,” he motioned down himself and I smiled. He was effortlessly delicious. 

“You look hot,” I grinned.

He shook his head and smirked, “You’re biased.”

“I’m horny,” I winked and moved in to hug him. He held me and kissed the top of my head.

“We’re all set. Go home, get your clothes on and come back. I’ll have the wine ready.”

“Thank you,” I leaned up on tiptoes to kiss him and I thought about Jessa’s words. She was right. I respected Alex and more importantly I trusted him to do things the way I would have done them, something that I had never bestowed on any other guy. I needed to be in control and make sure that everything was as I wanted it. In this instance I just knew Alex had it licked. That was new for me.

He swatted my butt as I turned to walk away, “You’ll knock ‘em dead today.” He yelled, and I turned back to smile at him.

Despite how much I knew he hated the townsfolk and how much he worried that they judged him, today he was allowing all of them to come here, to his home. If I hadn’t thought he was awesome before then that realization may have made me cry.

 

I returned an hour later wearing a black and white polka dot dress. The day was warm but not hot. My hair was coiffed to perfection, but I couldn’t wait to have it tended to on my return to New York. I had a feeling my hairdresser, Karl, would have kittens when he saw it. All his years of hard work may have been obliterated, not that anyone else would be able to tell. My makeup looked impeccable, and I was ready to greet guests. We all wore name tags. I walked to where Alex was handing them out and looked down when he slapped mine on my chest, The Boss. I grinned.

“How will anyone know my name?” I asked.

“Oh, everyone knows the boss,” he winked, and I smirked.

The band started playing and people began to arrive. Alex was right. They all knew who I was and made a beeline for me. Car after car parked up and family after family arrived and marched forth to taste our goodies and ask me questions. I looked around for Alex at one point but couldn’t see him. Mabel was talking to people and explaining our plans, Sara had found some kids she knew and they were exploring the place, and I saw Logan sat with Emma-Louise at a table talking. All the staff had brought their families, and the place was buzzing within half an hour.

“So you guys are really mixing things up out here?” some older lady was saying. She still held my hand after I gave it to her for a shake and I smiled as she spoke, trying to tug it away.

“We sure are,” I smiled. “We’re hoping that everyone will enjoy the new services we offer.”

“Oh they will dear. When Mr. Miller had the place, it was always a venue for parties and what not,” she sighed and I finally got my hand back. “We used to love it out here, a party for every occasion.”

“Well we can’t promise that, but the bakery will be a start for more I hope.” I smiled warmly, and she pulled me into a hug.

“I hope so too.” She let me go and smiled, her brown eyes shining with happiness.

I saw plenty of people who remembered the good old days and who congratulated me on making the farm great again and instead of happy it made my heart ache for Alex. I hadn’t made the farm great, it had always been great, but he’d been fighting an uphill battle and doing it with minimal fuss.

After an hour the place was swamped. Eric was inundated with people wanting to know what we did and asking questions, which he loved. Johnny dropped by to discuss new processes and how farming was becoming more streamlined and taking the digital age by storm. Vi was around, drinking wine and chatting to people. Every face I saw was friendly and smiling, kids loved the bounce house and the adults were loving the food and the entertainment.

I still didn’t spot Alex, but I did keep getting stopped by a ton of people so I never had a moment to really look. “The place looks amazing.” I turned mid search to see a face I recognized but not instantly. Short dark hair, skinny with a denim skirt and cowboy boots, boobs pushing her pale blue halter upwards. She was pretty in an obvious way and although she had never wronged me I didn’t like her. It was Amber.

“Thanks,” I gave her a polite smile as it wouldn’t be great to be rude to the locals.

“You look great,” she popped out her hip and placed her hand on there, “so classy. I see why he likes you.”

I nodded but didn’t acknowledge her last comment, “Thank you.”

“I hear you’re heading back to New York?” she probed, sipping the free wine and watching me carefully for a response.

“Uh huh,” I nodded but kept my polite smile in place.

“Well it would never have lasted between you anyway.” She gave me a sympathetic smile. “I firmly believe that Alex and I are meant to be.” Her words gutted me, and my stomach flipped at the thought. She had never once deserved Alex. He was the hardest worker I knew and had been through more shit than anyone I’d ever met. When he was losing everything, she was fucking someone else. I was livid.

“I’m not sure Alex thinks that,” I snapped out, never letting the smile leave my face, “and if you thought that then maybe you shouldn’t have slept with that manwhore, Tyrer, and instead have supported the best guy you’ll ever meet.”

Her mouth set to a hard line, and she looked at me like I’d shit on her shoe. Surely she didn’t expect me to stand there and hear her say when I left she’d get Alex back? “So, you like him?” she looked shocked.

“I don’t like you,” I said, moving into her space but never losing my smile. “I can’t decide if you’re dumb, trashy or just plain stupid, but you’d do well not to piss me off.”

She stepped back and bit her bottom lip. “Wow,” she widened her eyes, “I didn’t realize that Alex liked a bitch.”

“I guess he dated you.” I turned to walk away and mingle with someone who wouldn’t make my blood pressure surge.

“Safe trip home,” she yelled, and I shook my head and resisted giving her the middle finger in front of all my potential customers.

I was angry, but I needed to chill so I grabbed a glass of wine as a tray was circulated past me and finally I saw Alex. I strode purposefully to where he leaned against a fence post and chatted to a family that I vaguely recognized. He saw me walking and straightened up when he noticed the tense expression on my face. “Hey,” he smiled warily. I took a glug of the wine.

“Hey,” I wound my arm around him and he placed his arm over my shoulder.

“Lacey, these are the Jefferson's. They own the furniture store in town.”

“Hi,” I smiled and squeezed Alex a little tighter, these guys would be great to help him with his latest venture.

“Hello there,” the man said. He was a big guy, tall and wide with white hair, and his wife was smaller and petite with dark hair. They were a strange looking couple, but Alex seemed comfortable with them, which wasn’t always a given for him.

“You okay?” Alex asked, looking down at me with narrowed, inquisitive eyes.

I shrugged, “Case of the ex.”

He widened his eyes, “Excuse us,” he told the Jefferson's, and they nodded as Alex put his arm around me and we walked away.

“Sure,” they said.

He wound his arm tighter around me and pulled me close, “Your ex or mine?” he asked, kissing the top of my head.

“Amber,” I almost growled. “She’s persistent, I’ll give her that.”

“I’m starting to think she’s delusional,” he laughed. We didn’t stop but walked through the crowds and he rubbed my arm as he kept me glued to his side. We stopped on the edge of the field and I turned to face him.

“I think she’s planning to get you back when I go.” I gave him a sad smile, and it worried me how much that bothered me. I aced competition, and I didn’t let anyone have what I considered mine. Somehow this guy was making me crazy jealous. I hated jealousy. 

“That would never happen, whether I’d met you or not,” he placed his hands on my shoulders, “we’re a million percent done.” He raised his eyebrows and I let out the breath I was holding.

“I know,” I nodded, “and I’m being crazy, it’s none of my business.”

“It’s all of your business,” he rumbled, bending to kiss my head. “If you didn’t give a shit I’d be pissed off.”

I smirked, “oh I give a shit, and I gave that bitch shit.”

He cupped my chin and lifted my face to look at him, “You having a good time?” he uttered, “this place is just full of people and everyone is loving it.”

“I kept looking for you,” I said quietly, stepping into his space and placing my head on his chest, “you okay with all this?”

He rubbed my back, “I can handle people, but it drains me to have to keep being so nice.”

“You are nice,” I laughed.

“I’m trying. I guess this town isn’t as bad as I thought.” His voice uttered as my ear was pressed to his chest.

“Except Amber,” I said quickly.

“Who?” he joked, and I grinned, pulling up and pushing him away playfully.

“Lacey?” I heard someone call me and I turned to see who it was. Alex dropped to whisper in my ear from behind.

“Catch you later,” he swatted my butt, and I was thrown back into the party.