Chapter 25

Mona

All I could feel as the words escaped from my mouth were two things, complete panic and the grip of his hand on mine.

He stared at me for a moment, his face blank. Then shock passed over his face, followed by fear, followed by a series of emotions I wasn’t skilled enough to decipher.

He looked away from me, the food in front of us forgotten, and I realized I was holding my breath as I waited for him to respond.

Oh, please don’t let this be the end of us. Not after everything. Not after all you’ve done.

“Pregnant,” he repeated the word, as though testing out how it sounded on his lips. “You’re pregnant?”

“Yes,” I whispered, hoping no one around us was privy to our conversation. This was too personal, too much for anyone else to hear.

“But we…”

He shook his head.

“We always used condoms. I was always safe.”

“I know, that’s what I thought,” I sighed. “But they’re not one hundred percent effective. Nothing is. It can happen.”

“I know that, I just…”

He shook his head again like he was trying to reboot his brain so he could better make sense of what was going on.

Are you sure it’s mine?”

“It couldn’t have been anyone else’s,” I replied. “You’re the only guy I’ve been with since I started work for you.”

“How far are you along?” he asked, as he tried to give shape to the rest of the questions he knew he had to ask.

“A few weeks, at most,” I replied. “I only found out a couple of weeks ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” he asked, his voice dropping slightly. “Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you found out?”

“I didn’t know how,” I replied, truthfully, and then paused, wondering if I should tell him the next bit.

“And I thought you were still dating all those women,” I admitted. “I thought I was just… I thought you were just keeping me around for fun. And I didn’t want you to think I was pushing you to commit to me by making this up.”

“My mind would never have gone there,” he replied, stoically, but I could see the panic in his eyes. “So what do we do?”

“What do you want to do?” I asked nervously.

“Have you thought about it?” he asked, cocking his head. “Have you decided what you want to do with the baby?”

“Yes,” I nodded, breathless. “But I want your answer. Before I give you mine. Just tell me.”

He stared at me for a long while, and I shifted in my seat, laying my hand on my stomach as I did so. I knew it was way too early to feel the baby move, but in my head, I pretended I could, pretended it was reaching out its hand to comfort me in this time of need.

“I want it,” he replied, slowly lifting his gaze to meet mine.

I let out a long breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding, and it felt as though my entire body was relaxing after spending two weeks wound up like a top.

I thought back to sitting alone on that bathroom floor, staring at the pregnancy test, knowing my life had changed forever.

I remembered wanting to unwrap time to make it not so, and I remembered slowly, but surely, coming to terms with the fact I wanted this baby, no matter how he felt about it.

Now, I would remember this moment as part of that. The moment Oliver told me he wanted the baby, that he wanted me, and that he loved me. That he had gone out on a limb and risked his business and his relationship with Neil, just to make sure we could be together.

As dates went, it was one of the better ones. I laughed out loud, and he managed to crack a smile, although he still looked a little shaky on his feet.

“What is it?” he asked, and I shook my head and covered my mouth.

“I know it’s…” I trailed off, searching for the words. “This has just been a lot, that’s all. I guess the hormones are making me emotional.”

“Or the… emotions are?” he teased gently, nudging his knees against mine beneath the table. “Is that why you were so off the last couple of weeks? Because you knew about this and didn’t want to tell me about it?”

“Partly, yeah,” I nodded, the giggles settling down at last. “I thought you were inviting me out tonight so you could dump me for good.”

“You think I’d spring for a table here just so I could dump you?” he shot back playfully. “I’d have picked somewhere much less fancy than this.”

“Noted,” I managed with an enormous grin breaking over my face. “So, if we ever end up in a crappy, roadside diner…”

“Then you’ll know what’s coming,” he replied. “Unless we are on that road trip that you always wanted to go on.”

“The one I wanted for my honeymoon?” I confirmed, and he nodded.

“Well, we’ve got plenty of time for that.”

He laced his fingers through mine across the table, and suddenly I felt a very different kind of appetite wake up somewhere deep inside me. I saw a flash in his eyes that told me he felt it too. It had been a long time since we’d last hooked up, and I had to admit, I missed it a whole lot more than I thought I would.

“Shall we get out of here?” he asked, and I looked over the array of food we had barely touched.

“Let’s eat first,” I suggested. “Make sure we’ve got all the energy we need.”

“Sounds good.”

He grinned, releasing my hand and turning his attention to the pile of food in front of us.

“We’re going to need it.”

We ate quickly and spent the whole time talking about the food, the restaurant, the business, and things that all normal couples shared with each other on a regular basis.

It felt so good, I could have burst into tears with joy. I had never realized just how comforting and wonderful a normal life could be when I gave it a chance. This felt so, so right.

We finished up, and he paid. He rang for a cab before we headed outside. He asked that it take us to his place, just like I was hoping.

“It’s been so long since I was at your apartment,” I said as he snaked his arms around me from behind.

He let his hands rest on my belly, and for a moment, all carnal thought dropped out of my head as I considered the depth of it. Our baby, the baby we were going to have and raise together.

He kissed my neck gently, and it sent the most delicious shiver up my spine. He still knew exactly how I liked to be touched.

I tilted my head back to look up at him, and he stared back down at me, and finally, after what felt like a lifetime, he leaned down to kiss me. I turned around to press my body full-on against his, to feel his strong chest against mine. It had been so long since we’d kissed like this, with intention, and I loved the way it felt.

He slipped his tongue into my mouth and met mine, and it was like we were talking without words, exchanging all the things we’d wanted to say so badly over the last few weeks but hadn’t been able to.

I’m not sure how long we stood out on that street kissing, but it felt like the stars and moon had vanished, and the sun had risen a thousand times by the time we pulled apart. He leaned down to kiss me lightly one last time on the lips, and then looked up to see the car coming.

“Let’s get you home,” he murmured, pulling open the door for me as the car came to a stop next to us.

“Ever the gentleman,” I teased.

“Not for long, if I can help it,” he breathed in response, quiet enough that only I could hear him.

He leaned forward to give the driver the address and reached over to tuck a hand between my thighs. There was something possessive about the gesture, but I didn’t mind that one bit. It was what I had wanted all along.

It didn’t matter who saw him touch me like that because he was allowed. No one could stop us now, and the thought was invigorating. No hiding from everyone, no ducking all the people we knew for fear that our secret might get out. Now, the only thing we had to discuss was when we were going to tell people I was pregnant.

We arrived back at his apartment, and he helped me out of the car.

“I’m perfectly capable of moving by myself, you know,” I grumbled, good-naturedly, and he shrugged.

“Just practicing for when you’re the size of a house,” he teased, and I brushed his hand away.

“If you say anything like that to me again,” I warned playfully, “I’m going to head up to my parents’ house for the length of this pregnancy, and that’ll be that.”

“Suits me,” he teased, and we stepped into the elevator that led to his penthouse apartment.

We exchanged a little look, our expectant, excited expressions reflected dozens of times in the glass that surrounded us. I wanted to kiss him again, but before I knew it, we’d arrived in his apartment, the elevator doors opening onto the sleek space.

He leaned down and scooped me up, making me squeal, and I wrapped my arms around his neck for support. It felt appropriate, him carrying me like this, because since we’d hooked up in London, it felt as though my feet hadn’t hit the ground once.

He carried me to the bedroom and lay me down carefully on the bed. This time felt different from the rough, hard sex we’d indulged in since London, and the softness of his touch was making my heart beat almost painfully hard against my chest. Something about the gentleness was just as tantalizing as the rough times.

He grabbed me by the hips and pulled me forward, down the bed, so that my legs were dangling off the edge. He placed his hands on either side of me so he could kiss me once more. It was an almost chaste kiss. As our lips met, he slipped his hand between my thighs and under my panties, finding my clit in one swift motion and making me gasp and lift my head from the covers, pressing into the kiss even further.

He let his hand trail down slightly and pushed his fingers inside me. I was already wet, and he entered me with ease. I lifted my hips to make the penetration easier and let my head fall back so he could kiss my neck, kiss down my throat, kiss toward my breasts until his face was buried in my cleavage.

With his other hand, he pulled down the top of my dress and pulled each one of my nipples into his mouth in turn, going slow and steady but making me squirm with pleasure as he grazed his teeth across my swollen, aching flesh.

I wasn’t sure if it was the pregnancy or just the fact we hadn’t done this in a while, but it felt like every touch was twice as sensitive as it had ever been.

“I want to taste your pussy,” he murmured in my ear. “It’s all I’ve been able to think about, ever since you walked into the restaurant in this dress”

He skimmed his hand over the fabric that was still clinging to my waist, and I moaned at his words. The thought of his obscenely talented tongue between my legs was almost too much to take, but I knew that’s what I needed.

He bit lightly on my right breast one last time, shooting me a playful look as he did so, and then slid down, down, pushing up my skirt and pulling off my panties in what had to be a well-practiced motion. He knelt between my legs on the floor and pushed my knees back, looking at me, from my face to my pussy, then back to my face again, before he finally leaned in and kissed my clit.

“Mmm…”

I wriggled on the bed, closing my eyes and reaching down to touch him.

“Not yet.”

He brushed my hands away lightly, and I could feel the cool touch of his breath against my pussy as he spoke. “Don’t move. No hands. I want this to be all about you…”

I balled my hands into fists at my sides, doing as I was told at once. When it came to the bedroom, he always seemed to know exactly what to do, and I wasn’t going to argue with that.

He sealed his lips around my clit once more, and I let out a sudden, sharp breath that shuddered through my whole system. He sucked lightly, flicking his tongue against my sensitive nub, over and over again, before suddenly releasing the pressure and pulling back. He flattened his tongue to deliver quick, soft, strokes to every inch of my pussy – over my clit, my slit, my lips. He tilted his head from side to side to lightly suck on the outside, the newness of the sensation rippling through my body before he returned his attentions to my clit.

It was all I could do not to reach down to touch him, but I knew this would only get more intense. I had to trust him and myself and let the feelings wash over and through me without trying to take control.

“You taste so good,” he groaned and flicked his gaze up to meet mine.

His eyes were hot with desire, and just the sight of them burning into mine was enough to make me want to lean down and grab him and get him to fuck me right then and there.

But he wasn’t done with me yet.

As he focused back in on my clit once more, I couldn’t help but find myself reminded of the very first time we’d had sex back in London, and how similar this was – him between my legs, me on my back on a bed that wasn’t my own, panting and squirming and desperately needing him.

Except for this time, there was none of the uncertainty, none of the worry or fear of what would happen when it was over and we returned to our real lives back in the US. This was pure, good, and safe, without any doubt occupying space in my mind.

I knew I had picked the right man, and suddenly, that feeling overwhelmed me. The combination of the physical stimulation and that knowledge rendered me useless as I came hard, all at once against his mouth. I let out a cry of pleasure, wriggling against the sheets, and he slowed his tongue until it was still against my clit.

I could feel myself pulsing against him and looked down to find him regarding me with something close to amusement.

“What is it?” I asked, panting slightly as I came down from the high of the orgasm.

“I just love seeing you come,” he replied, softly, moving from between my legs and climbing on top of me once more. “Come on, let’s get this dress off.”

“Agreed,” I replied, and he leaned down to pull the fabric up and off over my head, dumping it on the floor next to us.

“Can I use my hands now?” I asked as I watched him begin to unbutton his shirt.

He grinned that wolfish smile that I knew all too well.

“Not yet,” he replied, and I was forced to run my hands along my own legs, just to feel the comfort of some skin under my fingers.

He tossed his shirt on the floor to join my dress, and I gazed up at him on top of me, This confident, powerful man, a man who wanted to be with me, a man who had put everything at risk to make sure I was a part of his life. It was one of the sweetest and the hottest moments of my life, and I had to dig my fingernails into my palms to keep from grabbing him, pushing him down on the bed, and mounting him right there and then.

“What is this for?” I asked as he pulled off his pants and underwear. “Not being able to touch you like this?”

“Because I want this to be all about you,” he replied, catching my chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilting it up toward me.

“But it’s painful not being able not touch you,” she begged.

“We’ll soon put an end to that,” he replied softly, and he reached to get a condom out of his drawer – and then stopped.

“Can we… go without?” he asked, looking down at me with one eyebrow raised.

I bit my lip and nodded.

“I want you to,” I replied, my voice barely a whisper.

I let my eyes drift down his body, from his broad shoulders to his strong chest to his rock-hard cock. I had to fight every natural instinct in my body not to reach down and grab him already. He saw where my eyes were lingering, and didn’t need any more encouragement. He slid up and between my legs, gripping himself with one hand and catching my wrists in the other.

I loved how much bigger he was than me, how he bore down on me until every part of me was buried in his shadow. I felt him pressing against my slit, and then all at once, he was inside me.

I groaned and lifted my back off the bed below me, his cock feeling almost painfully good inside me. Is this what all pregnancy sex felt like? Because if it did, I was going to have a pretty hard time keeping my head in the game, knowing this kind of pleasure was pretty much on tap for me for the next nine months.

He held my hands down, and I clasped my fingers around what little skin of his I could actually reach. It wasn’t much, but it was enough, and he had been right – the fact that I couldn’t touch him made every motion feel that much deeper and more intimate.

He pushed himself up with one hand, looking down at me, and I committed every shift in his expression to memory.

His gaze fell to my lips and he leaned down to kiss me again, his tongue flicking into my mouth so fast, I almost didn’t notice it was happening. He pulled back, smiling wickedly, and pulled out of me all at once.

“Wha-” I began, but he brushed his thumb over my lips to silence me as he moved behind me, pulled me against him in a spooning position, and entered me again like that.

“Ah!” I cried out, and I reached behind me without thinking, to cradle his head in my hands, but he caught them and held them above my head, his other hand on my hip as he fucked me from behind.

The feeling was almost too much. His hand traveled up and over my body, across my stomach, over my breasts, briefly running up my throat. Every touch felt explosive, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold out. I could already feel another orgasm building inside me, my body buckling beneath his slow thrusts and gentle touch.

“I’ve wanted to be with you for so long,” he murmured into my ear. “You have no idea…”

I could only let out a soft groan in response, and he pulled my hair away from my skin for a moment, so he could kiss my neck unencumbered.

That was it. As his lips brushed my throat, I felt something inside me burst, the orgasm spreading out like warmth from between my legs and enveloping my entire body. I shivered against him, my pussy pulsing around his cock, my mouth opening and closing as I tried to give sound to what I was feeling.

He released my hands at last, and I reached back to touch him, running my hands greedily over every bit of him that I could reach as he tucked his arm beneath me and pulled me close so he could fuck me deeper and harder than before. A few moments later, he bottomed out inside me, pressing his forehead against the back of my shoulder and letting out a long, soft groan.

We held ourselves there for a moment before he slowly released himself and pulled away. He unwrapped me from his arms, and I rolled to my side, turning so I could shoot him a coy look from the corner of my eye.

He ran his hand up my bare back and smiled at me, almost shyly. It was a strikingly vulnerable expression, maybe the most down-to-earth I’d ever seen him.

“What is it?” he asked, wrapping a strand of hair around his finger.

“I just…” I trailed off, searching for the words. “I’m just happy, that’s all.”

“Me too,” he sighed and flipped onto his back, pulling me against his chest.

I closed my eyes and listened to the beat of his heart through his chest, letting it comfort me as my breathing slowed and my body returned to normal.

“You know I’m going to be here for you, right?” He pressed his face against my hair, inhaling briefly. “I was always going to be. No matter what decision you made about the baby or what happened between us.”

“I didn’t know that,” I admitted. “But I do now, and I’m never going to forget it.”

“Damn straight,” he teased, and then fell silent for a moment.

“What’s up?” I asked. It wasn’t like him to shut up so suddenly.

“I’m just thinking about everything that’s still to come,” he said softly, running his hand over the small of my back. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You know, we’re a team now,” I reminded him. “Anything that you’re worrying about, I’m worrying about.”

“Fair point,” he admitted. “I’m just wondering if you should move in here. You know, it’s closer to the office, and it’s got enough room for a child. If we turned the study into a nursery…”

“You really want me to move in with you?” I propped myself up on his chest so I could look him in the eye.

“I guess I do,” he said and grinned nervously. It was the first time I’d seen him express any vulnerability.

I looked back at him for a moment, at this man who I’d invested so much of my life in. Not only was he my boss, but he was my boyfriend, and he was going to be the father of my child.

“Then, I guess I’ll say yes,” I replied with a small smile.

He leaned in to kiss me, his grip tightening on the small of my back. I took his face in my hands, kissing him back indulgently, but I pulled away before things could go any further, holding a finger up in front of his face.

“I get some say in decoration, though,” I clarified.

“What’s wrong with this place?” he protested.

“It’s just a little… billionaire bachelor pad,” I explained, furrowing my brow “That’s not exactly my style.”

“I’ll accept that,” he sighed. “God, you’re going to change everything, aren’t you?”

“As though I haven’t already,” I pointed out with a cocked head and a grin.

“Fair point.” He kissed the top of my head and closed his eyes. “I don’t mind one bit. Change everything.”

“I love you,” I replied, and felt myself drifting off into a deep, warm, comforting sleep.