Rain

In the end I was glad to have escaped Angus mid-revenge. It was the whole flirting, seduction campaign that got to me. As much as I tried to convince myself that Darcy would understand what I was doing, the truth was I knew she wouldn’t.

Craig’s anger at my tactics and the subsequent passionate interlude in the toilet at Club 39 had nothing to do with my decision to review my current strategy.

Really.

It didn’t.

Okay, so it did. A little. I mean I was already realizing it on my own . . . Craig just nudged me over the edge.

So as I determinedly tried to erase the memory of the best kiss I’d ever received in my life I opted to rethink my approach regarding Angus. I believed part of the reason it so quickly turned flirtatious with him was because of the environment we were in. A nightclub. It was all about dancing, drinking, lowering your inhibitions, and yes, sex.

Perhaps if I encountered Angus “accidentally” in a different environment I’d be able to change the course of our interactions. I knew it wouldn’t be easy because he was a sleazebag who clearly wanted to get into my knickers, but I had to try.

Darcy had told me that Angus liked to work at Black Medicine coffeehouse in Old Town. A coffeehouse was certainly more about conversation than flirtation (for the most part), so I decided it was my next step.

I wasn’t a stranger to Black Medicine. With its carved wooden furniture, delicious coffee, and quirky ambience, it was my kind of place. Most of the time I was too busy these days to do anything but drop by for a takeaway cup of coffee, but for however long it took me to get Angus’s attention, the coffeehouse would become like a second home to me.

I got there early enough to grab a table near the back of the room where I could face forward and see people entering. Two hours, two green teas, and one panini later I was still sitting watching the door. I had a book with me but I was afraid to really crack it open and get lost in it in case I missed Angus coming in for a flyby coffee. So instead I pretended to read the book, all the while staring straight over the top of the pages. If anyone were paying attention to me they’d think I was a crackpot.

For those two hours I tried to keep my focus solely on Angus, but just like it had for the last forty-eight hours plus, my mind wandered to Craig. I honestly couldn’t believe the intensity of the chemistry between us. It was off the charts! But I had to wonder . . . Craig was this incredibly sexual man. Flirtation and heat just oozed out of him. So perhaps the kind of kiss we shared was merely due to his inflated sexuality and it actually had nothing to do with a real connection between us. In that scenario, I was going to be the one who got hurt—chemistry like that and the fact that I liked being around Craig meant lust would develop into something more for me. I wasn’t the kind of girl who could have sex without letting my emotions get tangled up in it all, and as much as Craig insisted this wasn’t just about sex for him, I wasn’t sure I fully trusted that as truth.

And then of course there was the whole Angus plot. I couldn’t get involved in a messy situation with Craig or anyone just now because I couldn’t split my focus. Maybe . . . well maybe if it was with someone who I trusted wouldn’t hurt me, then yes, I could split my focus, I could make it work . . .

But Craig wasn’t that guy.

I groaned. I had to stop thinking about him.

The door to Black Medicine swung open and in stepped a tall, good-looking dark-haired man.

See! You’re thinking about Craig so much, now you’re actually hallucinating about him!

“Oh shit,” I muttered, thrusting my book right up so it hid my face. It was Craig.

Of all the coffeehouses in all the towns in all the world, he walks into mine at this very moment!

Sick joke, Life, sick joke!

I ducked my head, holding my breath, praying he was in for a coffee to go.

Two minutes later a familiar voice sounded above my head.

FUCK.

I lifted my gaze and lowered my book at the same time.

Craig stood by my table, smirking down at me. There was a hard edge in his eyes though that told me he was still mad about our last encounter. Except if anyone should be mad it was me.

“Seriously?” I moaned and slumped back in my chair.

“Nice to see you too.” He slid into the empty chair at my table.

“What are you doing?”

“Joining you.”

“No, you’re not. You’re not bloody well ruining this thing with Angus again. I’d really like it to be over with as quickly as possible but your interference keeps delaying it.”

Craig raised an eyebrow. “You’re meeting Angus here?”

I sighed. “No. But apparently he comes here quite a lot. I’m just waiting . . .”

“To ambush him with your feminine wiles again.”

I heard the bite in his tone and glowered at him. “No. Not that it’s any of your business but I’m rethinking that strategy.”

“Too late. The sleazy bastard wants to fuck you, Rain.” Craig leaned forward, the hard edge in his voice giving away to concern. “It’s dangerous to play this game with him. I think you’d better overhaul your entire strategy.”

His assertion caused a flare of panic within me because it echoed my own deeply buried concerns.

“All that matters is doing this for Darcy.”

“And keeping yourself safe. After meeting this guy . . . Rain, he’s a creep through and through. Who knows what he’s capable of.”

I stared at him, not knowing what to say, and frankly more than a little unnerved that I’d come to the coffeehouse with the intention of meeting Angus only to end up across a table from Craig. “What do you want from me?”

He settled back in his seat and lifted his mug to take a sip as he stared at me. He stared so long I was practically squirming in my chair. “I’d like to sit here and have my coffee with you. Talk to you.”

Uneasiness moved its way through me because more than anything I wanted to sit and have my green tea with him. Talk to him. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Well I’m sure enough for the both of us.” He threw me a wicked grin that caused a familiar flush of attraction inside of me.

I rolled my eyes and looked away. “Of course you are.”

“So, Rain Alexander, what was it like growing up in Inverness?”

I guffawed at the question. “If you want me to stay at this table with you, you might want to lead in with a less loaded question.”

“Loaded?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Interesting.” When I treated him to an unhappy look he nodded. “Fine. Why Edinburgh?”

“I tried London at first. I moved there when I was eighteen. For a while I enjoyed it. Had a job in a vintage clothing store—as you can imagine that was right up my alley. I thought I fell in love but after a year together I realized I wasn’t in love with him. It was the catalyst for moving back to Scotland. I’d always intended to come back for Darcy when she was eighteen anyway. The guy didn’t want to move and it was the last in a long line of issues between us.”

“What kind of issues?”

Craig seemed genuinely interested and it occurred to me that this might be the way to put him off me. While most girls would hide their craziness until they had their hooks well and truly sunk into the object of their desire, I decided, in that moment, just to put it all out there.

“I wanted to be the center of his universe—and I wasn’t.”

He frowned. “How so?”

I shrugged. “I’m a romantic.”

“That still doesn’t explain anything.”

“A relationship . . . an epically great, romantic relationship should be a partnership, right?”

“Right,” he agreed.

“Well that’s part of it. Our relationship wasn’t. I started to realize that I was constantly compromising for him, but he never did the same for me in return. Everything was about him and what he wanted. I want to be with a man who isn’t happy if I’m not happy, and vice versa.”

“That doesn’t seem like too much to ask. That seems fair.”

I scowled. “It’s not just about that, though. I expect a guy who loves me to think of me. A lot. Surprise me, and not simply on birthdays, but just because.”

Craig shifted in his seat, his eyes narrowing. “You mean spend money on you?”

“It doesn’t have to be about money or shiny gifts.” I shook my head adamantly. “It could be about making me breakfast in bed, or taking the dog out in the morning even though it’s my turn just because he’s happy to let me have a long lie for a change. It’s everything and nothing, the big stuff and the little stuff.”

He was giving me this small, tender smile that increased my uneasiness. He wasn’t reacting to my honesty the way I’d hoped he would. “Anything else?”

“He should be territorial without being overly possessive because I don’t like the idea of women flirting with the man I love and I’d hope he’d feel the same way—if only to make me feel better about being the possessive type.”

His gaze turned speculative . . . and heated. “You’re the possessive type? I’d certainly like to see that.”

Where was I going wrong? This was not the way I’d expected a one-night-stander to react to my confession! I huffed and he grinned like he knew exactly what I was trying to do and he was enjoying my failure.

I attempted to relax, realizing that this stubborn man was not going anywhere anytime soon. Unless of course I made the conversation extremely awkward . . . “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Have you ever been in love?”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I’m not allowed to ask you about growing up in Inverness but you’re allowed to ask a question that heavy?”

I shrugged. “I could just finish my tea and go.”

Craig narrowed his eyes. “Try it and I’ll tackle you.”

I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. “What?”

Amusement lit his eyes. “You heard me. And I’ll answer your question. No. I’ve never been in love. How many times have you been in love?” he immediately said before I could respond to his answer.

“I’m not some fickle creature who falls in and out of love easily. In fact I’ve never been in love. I’ve been close though. I don’t throw my whole heart into the relationship before really getting to know the guy, and by the time I’d gotten to know my past boyfriends they proved themselves not up to the task of loving me the way I wanted them to. And vice versa.”

Craig chuckled. “Are you trying to tell me you’re high maintenance, Rain?”

“Yes,” I answered honestly. “Not with general life stuff or daily living. I don’t nag about tidying up or having the boys around for boxing night or video game night every weekend . . . but emotionally I know I’m high maintenance.” I bit my lip at the confession, surprised I’d given away so much. What was it about him that made me feel so comfortable that I started blurting out these terribly personal pieces of information?

“There must be a reason. Perhaps the reason is in Inverness,” he hedged with a shocking amount of perceptiveness.

Something in my expression must have given me away because Craig’s own gaze softened and he leaned across the table toward me until all I could see was his gorgeous face. “You know when I lost my dad it made me cling hard to the family I had left—my mum and my sisters. It made me really overprotective of them. Like you with Darcy.”

He’d guessed then that I’d lost family. “My parents.” I nodded, unable to look away from his eyes. “I was six. Darcy was four. It was a boating accident. We went to live with my aunt. She was a drunk.”

“Fuck,” Craig breathed. He reached for my hand and secured it between both of his. “I take it things were not good at home.”

I stared at my hand held so tightly in his. My hand looked right in his hold. It felt even more right. I immediately wanted to tug it back, but the warmth, the comfort of his gesture stopped me. “No. Things weren’t good at home.”

“You left Darcy. That’s why you feel guilty.”

“I couldn’t take her with me. My aunt wouldn’t let me and I had no legal right to her. I just had to bide my time . . . but the truth is . . . I could have stuck around. I could have stayed anyway. I was selfish. I was a selfish, self-involved teenager and my sister was left to that woman’s cruelty because of it.”

“You were just a kid.”

Unsettled by his kindness, I released my hand from his grasp and lowered my gaze. “Well, anyway, it’s the reason you should probably turn tail and run.”

“And why’s that?”

I looked up again and put all the sincerity in the world into my eyes and words. “Because other than Darcy, I didn’t receive a lot of affection for most of my childhood. Now I’m greedy for it. I’m someone who’s emotionally high maintenance in a relationship and I’m told it’s exhausting. So there. I’m not who you think I am.”

Craig studied me thoughtfully. “Who do you think I think you are?”

“I don’t know really. I just know that I’m complicated. I’m super independent in life, and in business, to the point where it drove my exes crazy. And then when it came to romance I’ve been told I’m too needy. I’m a messy paradox of a woman and it’s going to take a certain guy who can deal with all that. Not a one-night-stander. I need certainty in the future. I’ve been hurt before and I need to know going in that a guy is the right guy, that we’ll last, and that he won’t hurt me.”

His study of me continued in silence for a moment and then finally he said, “I should probably be running for the door right now.”

“Yes, you should.”

His slow, wicked smile made my insides quiver. “Strangely I don’t want to. I want to be your friend, Rain.”

To my annoyance, disappointment rammed into me gut. Of course he would change his tune after hearing about my emotional dysfunction. And that’s what I wanted, right?

Right?

WRONG!

I realized then that I didn’t want to be just friends with Craig but I also didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who could hurt me, and that meant that I didn’t want him in my life at all.

“I don’t think we should be friends.”

He chuckled. “You know you have a habit of bruising my ego.”

I winced. “I don’t mean to.”

“I know. And yet still you do. But no matter.” He grinned boyishly. “I have every intention of changing your mind.”