Chapter 2
Adam’s brow was puckered as he shifted his focus from the diary and gave me a smile. “I don’t know how I feel about sexually awakening a fourteen-year-old. It’s all a bit Lolita-like.”
I laughed at his discomfort. “It’s not as if you felt the same way about me back then. Anyway, now that I’m yours, would you really have preferred if some other guy gave me my sexual awakening?”
He glanced back down at the pages. “Good point,” he muttered.
“Here.” I handed him another diary, open to more than halfway through, and took the one with my fourteen-year-old thoughts out of his hands. “This is from the year after that.”
Saturday, March 23rd
I am this close to screaming at Adam to stop treating me like a sister. I’m not his sister! I wish he’d just get that already . . .
I took a deep breath and pulled the mascara wand away from my eyelashes. Staring at myself in my dressing-table mirror, I exhaled slowly and mentally coached myself to calm down. As much as I tried, I could not stop the wild flutter of butterflies in my belly. I gave up and leaned toward the mirror to liberally apply the mascara, since it was the only makeup Mum would let me wear. I had long, light eyelashes, so no one could tell how long they were until I started wearing black mascara. They were long and now that they were black, they made my pale blue eyes seem even bluer.
I’d hoped that the mascara also made me look a little older. Even though I was tall, I was still skinny with small boobs, and had a smattering of freckles across the bridge of my nose that made me feel about five years old instead of fifteen.
I had a date. My first date. It was with Sam Smith. He was a sixth year, which meant that he was two years older than me, and he was cute and cool and I really, really liked him.
I liked him as much as I could like any boy who wasn’t Adam.
Not that Adam was a boy any more.
A knock sounded at my bedroom door as I ran a brush through my long hair for the hundredth time. “Come in!” I called, somewhat agitated since I thought it was probably my mum, who seemed to be at once both more excited than me about the date, and also concerned.
To my surprise, when the door opened, the head that popped in wasn’t Mum’s but Adam’s.
My heart did this little flippy thing in my chest that it did every time I saw him, and I smiled brightly at him. “What are you doing here?”
He stepped inside and closed the door, his brows drawing together in consternation as I stood up to greet him. His eyes traveled the length of me and I saw a muscle tick in his jaw.
I was wearing a white sleeveless shift dress. It had a modest neckline and I was wearing a cardigan to cover my arms, and black tights to cover my bare legs, but I was guessing the short hemline pissed him off. The reminder that he thought of me as a little sister that he needed to protect pissed me off. I crossed my arms over my chest, and the movement brought his eyes back up to my face.
“Clark told Braden you had a date tonight. We both wanted to drop by for the momentous occasion. Who is he?”
I rolled my eyes at his overbearing tone. “Just a boy.”
“And how old is this boy?” Adam asked softly as he took a few steps toward me.
“Where’s Braden?”
“Downstairs. Don’t dodge the question. How old?”
“Sam is seventeen.”
“What?” He inhaled sharply. “And Elodie agreed to this?”
He didn’t mention Clark, since Clark was far more laid-back about these things than Mum. “She’s excited for me actually.”
“She’s chirping like a nervous chicken downstairs.”
“That’s because Sam will be here any minute.” I avoided his eyes, not liking that stubborn tilt to his chin.
“Where is he taking you?”
“To the cinema, then dinner.”
“You’ll be home before eleven?”
I grabbed my purse off my bed and let out an exaggerated sigh. “Yes...”
“And you won’t let him touch you.”
It wasn’t a question.
I froze at his command and narrowed my eyes on him as he took the last remaining steps toward me until he was standing right in front of me, so close I had to tilt my head back to meet his gaze. “It’s a date, Adam,” I whispered. “Touching is supposed to be involved.”
“Not when you’re a fifteen-year-old girl. Not when you’re you.” I flinched back, taking that as an insult, and Adam immediately grimaced. “Els, I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean . . . you’re not just some girl.”
“Look, Braden gave me this speech three hours ago on the phone.”
“Ellie,” Adam gave me a look that clearly meant “shut up.” “You’re special. You deserve a boy who understands that, and a boy who understands that won’t try any funny business, okay?”
“Funny business?” I raised my eyebrows at him. “I’m pretty sure Sam won’t try any funny business.”
“Els, you’re a romantic, and you’re young. Boys his age . . . they’re not romantic. They have one thing on their mind and one thing only. And the little swine isn’t getting it from you.”
Annoyed at his suggestion that I was some naive little girl, I brushed past him. “Don’t you have a comatose date waiting somewhere for you?”
“You cheeky little bugger,” he grumbled behind me as I walked out of my room and started heading down the stairs. “I preferred you when you were wee and cute and didn’t talk back.”
I rolled my eyes and jumped at the sound of the doorbell.
“I’ll get that,” Adam announced determinedly, but I flung out my arms and blocked his passage.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough limbs to stop Clark who darted out of the living room with a glower I’d never seen before.
Uh-oh.
So perhaps Clark wasn’t as cool about the whole “first date” thing after all.
“Dammit . . . ” I said under my breath as I hurried down the last few steps.
Braden came out of the living room with a bottle of beer in his hand. Eyes wide at his sudden appearance and the darkening of his expression when he saw my dress, I raced by him and collided against Clark’s back as he finished greeting my date at the door.
“She’s right here,” Clark said as I stumbled around him, giving him a questioning look. He was all glaring and intimidating. It was weird.
“Sam . . . ” I said, feeling the butterflies in my belly explode at the sight of him. Sam was as tall as Braden, although lanky and slim, and he had messy light brown hair that seemed to have a life of its own. He was famous at school for that hair. All the girls wanted to be the girl who got to run her fingers through that hair. I was hoping that after tonight, that girl would be me.
Sam finished eyeing Clark warily and then threw a dimpled smile my way. “Hey, Ellie. You look great.”
“She does not.” Braden suddenly appeared behind us. I closed my eyes in actual pain after watching Adam squeeze in beside him. They were both trying to fry Sam’s arse with the power of their eyeballs. “She looks fifteen. You remember that.”
Oh, God. Kill me. Kill me now.
“If you touch her, I’ll make sure you lose all sense of feeling. Permanently,” Adam warned darkly.
“What he said,” Braden added.
When I dared to open my eyes, my heart in my throat, it was to find Sam’s ashen face staring at Braden and Adam as though they were Viking marauders who’d come to cut off his head.
“What is all this?” Mum’s voice sent a rush of relief through me. “Get away from the door.” Adam and Braden were gently nudged aside, and my mum, Elodie Nichols, was left standing alone. Tall and willowy, my mum was still gorgeous, and right now she was an angel.
“Thank you,” I whispered gratefully.
She read the expression on my face and threw a dirty look over her shoulder at the retreating men. It appeased me somewhat to know that when I left on my date with Sam, the three of them would get a verbal tongue-lashing that would make their threats to Sam seem like child’s play.
When she turned back around, she held a hand out to my date. “Elodie Nichols. It’s lovely to meet you, Sam.”
“You, too, Mrs. Nichols,” Sam replied quietly, clearly not recovered.
“Well, I’ll let you two get on.” Her eyes now glistened a bit as she tucked my hair behind my ear and leaned in to press a kiss to my cheek. “Have a great time, darling. Be back before eleven.”
“Thanks, Mum.”
“You’ve got your phone?”
I nodded and quickly stepped out onto the front stoop, gently pressing Sam toward the street. He didn’t say a word as we walked away, heading for the bus stop.
“Just ignore them,” I finally advised. “They’re just messing with you.”
He gave me a weak smile and then checked his watch. “Film’s starting soon. We better hurry.”
***
I slammed the door shut behind me, trying to mentally decimate the angry tears that were determined to spring to my eyes.
“Is that you, darling?” Mum called from the living room.
Miserable and needing a mum-hug, I moped down the hall and entered the room.
It was ten-thirty and Braden and Adam were still here.
Mum and Clark were in their armchairs, Braden and Adam on the couch, and all four of them were no longer watching the television; they were staring at me.
I took one look at them and knew why they were here, and angry tears began to fill my eyes.
“How did your date go?” Mum asked, her question faltering as she took in my expression.
“Awful,” I snapped out and returned my glare to Braden and Adam. “He’s not asking me out again because of these two idiots.”
“Good,” Braden responded flatly. “You’re too young to be dating.”
Mum sighed. “She’s not too young.”
“She’s too young,” Adam said. “And look at what she’s wearing.”
“There’s nothing wrong with what she’s wearing.”
“She’s fifteen,” Braden argued. “She’s got plenty of time to go on dates. She should concentrate on school.”
“Oh, you sound like an old fart, Braden.”
“I can’t believe your attitude, Elodie.” Adam sighed. “I thought you’d be more careful about this stuff.”
“Careful?” Mum repeated. “It was a date.”
As they squabbled on, my anger had time to seethe, and my humiliation had time to fester. The nicest, cutest, coolest guy at our school had asked me out on a date, and my brother and his best friend had ruined it for me. “I liked him,” I suddenly informed them, quietly but with an edge that halted their conversation. They all looked at me and a tear slipped down my cheek as I said, “I really liked him. You both ruined it and you don’t even care,” I said to Braden and Adam.
My chest aching with the pressure of my hurt, I raced for the stairs and ignored Braden, who was calling my name.
“I’ll get her,” Adam told him which made me move even faster up the stairs. I slammed my bedroom door shut behind me and threw myself on my bed, hiding my face in my pillow as I cried into it.
I heard the knock over the sound of my muffled sniffling and lifted my head just enough to growl, “Go away.”
I tucked my head back into the pillow and waited.
Since I knew how tenacious Adam was, it didn’t surprise me when he disobeyed my command. I heard my door open and the creaks of the floor as he approached. The bed dipped on my right side and I heard Adam sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized, his voice deep with sincerity. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry.”
I didn’t say anything, my throat burning even deeper when it occurred to me this was the first time Adam had ever hurt me.
“Els . . . ”
I turned my head so I could see him. I ignored the worried look on his young, gorgeous face and told him stonily, “Just go away, Adam.”
He ran a hand through his hair and moved closer to me. “Look . . . I feel like shit, Els. I didn’t mean to ruin your night. Neither did Braden.”
“Oh, I’m sure when you threatened sensory deprivation you had no intention of ruining my chances with Sam.”
“Jesus,” Adam said. “You are too smart for your age. It’s like arguing with a grown woman.”
“How would you know what it’s like to argue with a grown woman? You never stick around long enough to do something to piss them off.”
His mouth twitched at my response and he shook his head. “Jesus . . . ” he repeated.
After a minute of silence, Adam looked down at me again. His expression was no longer amused. In fact, he looked deadly serious. “If this kid dumped you because he’s not man enough to deal with some familial concern, then he’s not the kind of boy you want to be with.”
The word “familial” pushed that little button inside of me. I gave him an icy glare and said, “You’re not my brother, Adam. Stop acting like it.”
I felt a slash of pain across my chest at the hurt expression in his eyes, guilt instantly making me want to cry even more. “I know that, Ellie.”
Our eyes met, and my skin instantly began to flush. “Do you?” I murmured breathily.
Something flickered in his gaze and he stood up, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “I’ll leave you alone for a bit. I just wanted you to know I would never intentionally hurt you.”
When I didn’t say anything, Adam exhaled wearily and left.
As he was closing my door, I heard Braden’s voice right outside it. “She okay?”
“She’s pissed off. Let’s just leave her alone for a while.”
“I want to speak to her.”
“Braden—”
“I’ll get you downstairs,” Braden said, cutting him off. He opened my door, let himself in, and closed it behind him when he stepped inside. Braden’s concerned eyes locked on me as he strode toward my bed.
“Els, sweetheart,” his voice was slightly gruff as he sat down. “I’m so sorry.”
I immediately burst out crying and launched myself against his chest, and let his strong arms hold me tight and his soothing murmurs calm me.