Tuesday, November 19th
Colin
I sat patiently on the couch and kept my eyes focused on Sydney. As I stared at Sydney’s naked form, I began to wonder if this was the right thing. Yes, I knew Sydney wanted to scene with a good Dom, but now Anthony was fitting into the picture more. I really didn’t think we’d get to the point of the scene without Anthony saying something, but he was being stubborn. Matt tried talking to Anthony yesterday at lunch but that hadn’t gone well. He told Matt that he couldn’t give Sydney what she needed and I couldn’t for the life of me wrap my head around that notion. He’s a confident and capable Dom, yet he’s so sure that he can’t give Sydney what she needs. He’s refusing to see it.
Sydney knelt next to Anthony’s chair while he stroked her hair. They both were content being next to one another. Anthony sat expressionless but I knew it was his mask. He was lost and deep in thought. I knew Sydney was nervous about being naked in front of Evan, but if she was going to scene with him Friday she needed to get used to it. The sound of the doorbell caused the tension that was floating in the air to multiply.
“Relax, baby. We’re just talking tonight. Your posture is perfect.” I stroked her cheek before walking to the door.
“Thank you, Sir.”
I let Evan in and made some small talk in the entryway with him while I hung up his jacket. I led him to the great room and inwardly cringed when I knew he was looking at Sydney’s body. Suddenly, I was happy that she was looking downward and wouldn’t be able to see Evan’s eyes on her. Evan smiled and sat down on the couch next to me and gave an upward nod to Anthony.
“Hey, Graves.”
Sydney hadn’t flinched and still had her head tilted downward. I hated her head facing down and I wanted to look at her face. Evan liked his subs facing downward though.
“So, a scene. Have you given it more thought, Evan?” I had to get this going and get it out before Anthony and I lost it. This was our fragile kitten.
“Yes, I’d like to do this Friday night.” He pulled his gaze away from Sydney and looked at me. “If possible.”
I told him Sydney was eager to try a scene in the club but reminded him that it’d be her first scene and needed to be tame. Evan nodded and said he understood and would exercise caution. Somehow that didn’t make me feel any better about the situation.
“May I approach her, Colin?”
Evan was at least being respectful and asked before he approached her. Evan knew that Sydney had some rough shit in her very recent past and I knew that he didn’t want to scare her or set her off. I nodded at him but I kept my eyes on her to gauge her reactions as Evan walked slowly around her and continued to check her out. He wore heavy boots and the soles made precise thuds on the wood floor with each calculated step. To me, it seemed as though he was tossing around his weight and power as a Dom and I wanted to slug him for purposely trying to make her nervous. He could say he wasn’t doing it on purpose and was just walking, but I knew better. A Dom should always be aware of his mannerisms and what impact his motions could potentially have on a sub or bottom. And Evan was very aware of what he was doing and what was in Sydney’s past.
I was struggling with my feelings about what was going on. I felt guilty as he walked around her, gazing at her body. All of it. I could see his eyebrows narrow when he saw her back where a lot of the lacerations and welts were still healing. He came back around to her front and crouched down. Sydney’s chest was rising and falling quickly with each nervous breath she took.
“Look at me, little sub,” Evan commanded. Sydney brought her eyes up from the ground and looked at Evan.
I was holding my breath hoping to see some connection. Finding the right Dom or play partner for anyone was all about the connection. There wasn’t a connection between Sydney and Evan though. Her eyes were looking at him and there was no spark. Nothing. Her eyes are more animated and excited when Anthony touches her. Hell, even when I touch her there is more of a connection.
Evan continued to stare in her eyes for a few minutes before smiling at her. Evan wasn’t a hard ass, or mean Dom, but he liked protocol and expected it.
“Your skin is soft, Sydney.” He ran the back of his hand up the inside of her arm. Anthony sat on the edge of his chair, watching Evan like a hawk. I silently urged him to stand up and call this off and tell Sydney he wanted to explore the possibility of being her Dom, but he sat there watching. Damn him. Sydney thanked Evan for the compliment but her eyes didn’t sparkle or dance like they do when Anthony calls her ‘sunshine.’
“What kind of scene would you be interested in participating in, little sub?”
Sydney sat still and was quiet. The three of us could tell that she was struggling with an answer. She was confused and her forehead was creased. Sadly, some of her past was showing itself. She’s learned at the hands of Howard that subs don’t have a choice, which is total bullshit. With Howard, there probably weren’t any scene negotiations. So Sydney of course wasn’t used to this at all. Evan rescued her though.
“It’s alright, little sub. Tell me.”
“S-sir, I don’t think that decision is for me to make. I don’t have a say.”
Evan glanced over at me and then at Anthony. I could tell that Sydney’s mind was running a mile a minute trying to figure out if Evan was trying to trick her. I wanted to cradle her in my arms, explain things to her, answer her questions and tell her not to worry. But I needed to give Evan some respect and see if he could guide her through this. Evan looked over his shoulder at me checking to see if he should continue or to see if I wanted to jump in. It might be a good indication of how he’d handle issues with Sydney so I nodded for him to continue and prayed for the best. Evan sat down on the floor in front of her and softened his approach with her.
“You always have a choice, little sub. You are a vital part to the negotiation.” He gave her a moment to let it sink in. “Sydney, you’re a submissive woman with your own thoughts, wishes, needs and desires. I know this is new to you. While I very much want to play with you Friday night, I want it to be something that you would like and will feel comfortable with. So, you and I will negotiate. You always have a say. Never play with someone who says otherwise.”
Sydney was taking it all in and the wheels in her head were moving. She kept her focus on Evan while trying to digest it all. I’m sure she was letting her mind run back to her past with Howard though. She was realizing more each day that what she had with Howard was just an abusive relationship. Nothing more.
“Sydney, do I scare you?” Evan asked her quietly.
“No, Sir.”
Evan remained quiet for a few moments and then glanced up at Anthony before continuing on with Sydney.
“I think something light will be appropriate for our first scene.”
First scene? He sounded so sure there’d be more to follow. I knew Anthony was thinking the same thing I was.
“Are you okay with oral sex?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Evan looked over at me and knew I’d tell him if she had any issues with it or if there was a trigger he needed to be aware of. I nodded that she was okay with it but reminded him about not putting his hands on her head. I looked over at my baby. Just a few days ago she had her mouth on me.
“Okay, that’s what you and I will agree upon doing. Nothing further. You have my word.” He paused and smiled at her. “I know my word doesn’t mean much to you right now. I’ll have to earn trust from you through my actions. But feel assured that these two guys wouldn’t let me near you if they had a shadow of doubt in me.”
Sydney glanced over at Anthony and then me before looking Evan in the eyes and saying, “yes, Sir.”
Evan touched her cheek and I could see her flinch. I’m sure Evan and Anthony both caught it too. Anthony looked like he was ready to climb a wall. His face was red and his skin prominently outlined a vein in his neck. Evan stood and came back to sit down next to me. I was glad he was no longer within touching distance to Sydney.
We moved the topic of conversation to other things and made no mention of the scene again. He talked about plans for Thanksgiving and about Blake’s upcoming party next week. Every now and then Evan would look down at Sydney and I assume he was able to see her disconnection. It was so obvious. She had returned her gaze downward even though her head remained up but I knew she wasn’t listening to a word we said. Her mind was running away with itself. Evan tried talking to her some to get her to engage in conversation. I wanted to tell him not to attempt it. Sydney has had a lot going on recently and he can’t expect to stroll in here and leave with her complete trust and eating out of his hand. No, that’s far down the road; however, she has that with Anthony.
“Are you comfortable on the floor, little sub?”
“Yes, Sir.”
I cringed inside because I knew that was an automatic response to a question being asked by a Dom. Sydney would sit on glass and say she was fine. She never wanted to seem like a bother or to say she needed something. Evan could tell and I think it may have bruised his pride to know that she’d rather him think she was fine when she really wasn’t. I knew Evan had asked her because he was aware of what she’s been through and recovering from. He knew she had been on her knees on the hardwood floor too long and that she was still nursing a lot of wounds.
“You’ve been kneeling on those knees for a long time, little sub. Maybe there’s somewhere else for you to sit or another position where you’d be more comfortable.”
Sydney focused on Evan and was trying to figure out if he was giving her permission to move. She was so new to the consensual side of D/s relationships and I was grateful that Evan was being patient with her. If it had been anyone other than Sydney, Evan would have walked out when he realized that she felt that she had to give him the answers she thought he wanted to hear rather than the truth.
Sydney relaxed her posture to get in a more comfortable position. What she did next spoke volumes and was loud and clear. To me at least. When she relaxed her posture, she leaned on Anthony’s chair and when Evan started talking about some new equipment at Irons, I saw Sydney absentmindedly take hold of the bottom of Anthony’s jeans. She felt comforted by him and safe with him.
I don’t know if Evan was paying attention to that or not. If he had, he didn’t let on. But it was crystal clear to me what Sydney wanted and how Sydney felt. She didn’t see me watching her but oh, how obvious it was when she leaned on Anthony’s chair and took hold of his pant leg. She visibly relaxed. I glanced up at Anthony and saw that he was already looking at me. He was very aware of her reaction. He said nothing but let his fingers loosen his grip on the armrest of the chair and slyly moved his wrist slightly so that his hand was now on her head.
Friday night was set for the time being. Anthony better fucking man up and say something. He can’t be this blind. Evan knew that I could pull the plug at any moment if something came up. And Anthony better speak up. I walked Evan outside to his car and he brought Anthony up.
“Is Graves, alright?”
I nodded and told him that I thought he was fine. I wasn’t going to admit to Evan that Anthony was dead tired and go into details about sleepless nights. There is nowhere else that Anthony would rather be and I knew that for a fact.
Evan admitted that he thought Anthony and Sydney both looked like they were somewhere else other than in that room. I didn’t know what to say to that. I know Sydney wants a scene with a Dom in Irons and I know Evan won’t hurt her. I didn’t have the answer as to why Anthony was so afraid to admit his feelings for her.
“You’ve done well with her, Colin. Posture is beautiful.”
“Evan, I didn’t do much with her posture. Her posture was already good. She has a lot of good qualities that just need some nurturing and encouragement.”
He leaned on his car and looked back at my house.
“Graves is still fighting his feelings for her, isn’t he?” I nodded to confirm. And goddamn Anthony for doing that. “Well, maybe Graves will find a nice little bottom to play with Friday night while I play with Sydney.”
“Evan, Anthony won’t be anywhere but ringside to your scene Friday night. He’s way too protective of her not to be there.”
Evan nodded and smiled. “I know, Colin. I can see it all over his face and in his body language. He cares about her and won’t let her get hurt. I won’t hurt her.”
I nodded and we shook hands before he left. I went inside and found Anthony sitting on the floor leaning against the chair with Sydney cuddled up on his lap. He was holding her in the sweetest most intimate of ways. Both of their eyes were closed and her head was resting on Anthony’s chest with a handful of his shirt in her hand. My recent photography addiction had me pulling out my phone to capture them contently wrapped up in each other.
For the rest of the week Anthony and I were going to work on some anal training with her. Normally a Dom will start with a small size and then each day will move up a size. Progress of course will depend on the sub. With Sydney, we just stuck to the smallest size. By Thursday night she was taking the smallest size without any issues.