CODY
I spotted Skylar the minute she walked into the cafeteria. You’d never know from her stance she was the new girl. Head high, posture straight, she moved through the crowded tables like a queen among subjects. And from the number of heads that turned, most of the guys in the room would gladly bow down at her snake-skinned boots. Only they knew better because Blake had staked his claim with one push of an empty chair.
Something bounced off my forehead. “You’re staring.”
I looked down at the mangled fry on my tray and tossed it back to Chugger. “So what?”
“So, if Blake sees you he’s going to have a coronary. Just be less obvious.” Chugger glanced where my eyes had been moments ago. “Who’s she sitting with?”
“I don’t know, but I think I had Poli Sci with the dark-haired girl last year. Zoe or something like that. She talked constantly.”
Chugger spat out food when he laughed, reminding me why he’d kept his nickname all these years. “Oh, yeah. I had her in my Biology II class. I’m pretty sure she wanted some of this.” He pointed to his chest and bounced his eyebrows. “But Karrisa was also in our group and, wow, that girl gave the best private study sessions. Speaking of which, I need to call her again.”
My gaze traveled back to Skylar’s table. “You’re disgusting.”
“And proud of it.”
As if Skylar sensed me watching, she turned. Our eyes locked for one, two, three counts before I forced my attention back to my food.
Chugger leaned in and spoke in a hushed whisper. “Did you hear about Henry?”
My heart stuttered, but I kept my face relaxed. “Nah. What happened?”
“A couple of guys jumped him after second period. He was in the nurse’s office when I went by to get some Tylenol for the massive cramps in my legs. Stupid practice. But, yeah, he was in bad shape.”
“He say who did it?”
“No, of course not. His mouth is what got him into this mess to begin with. If you ask me, it’s all a test to see if he’s learned his lesson.”
Bile burned the back of my mouth as Fatty James floated across my ear like a whisper. “That’s sick.”
“Hey, I don’t make the rules. I just follow them. Henry should have too.” He jammed his fries in the ketchup and stuffed them in his mouth.
My appetite was gone. Shoved down with the words I couldn’t let out. I pushed away my tray desperately wishing Chugger would shut up.
“I bet Principal Rayburn schedules another one of those bullying rallies. What’s he had, like six of them in the last year? Dude needs to give it up. Nobody’s gonna talk about the list.”
“The list?” I shouldn’t ask. Every time I learned a new ritual, I was expected to participate. The last one left me half-naked and puking in the bathroom. My first and last Tequila morning.
Chugger shook his head and went back to talking with his mouth full. “I forget how out of the loop you are sometimes. It’s nothing. Besides, in this case, it’s probably good you can claim ignorance.”
“Why’s that?” I stiffened and searched between the lines of his words. “Do you know who attacked Henry?”
He leveled a stare. “I told you. I don’t know anything. Just like you.”
I sat back, but my nerves felt raw. I rubbed at my neck, trying to take the growing tension out of it. Skylar’s laughter floated across the loud space, and Chugger and I looked over at the same time.
Blake. Hand on her shoulder. Smile on his face. One of the girls shifted over, and he sat next to Skylar like they’d already had a first date.
“I’m out,” I said and stood to leave.
Chugger stood too and grabbed his tray. “Whatever you gotta do. Just get that girl out of your head before you do something stupid.” His warning lingered while he strolled over to Skylar’s table and sat opposite Blake. The way Zoe played with her hair and giggled confirmed Chugger wasn’t too far off base about her admiration.
I slammed my tray on the edge of the trash bin to empty it feeling restless and slightly wild.
It felt like a hundred years had passed by the time I pushed through the lunchroom doors. I needed to calm down. Needed to let this thing go and focus on what mattered. Winning state, getting a scholarship, and getting out of this four-year prison.
Yet, I wandered the halls in a daze. Memories drove me to places I hadn’t visited in years. Places where the ghost of Fatty James haunted me.
Skylar had only been here a few hours and already she had altered my world. And why? Because her dad sang about freedom and justice, and she defended Henry at our table?
Tom Baker’s face tore through my mind and ripped through the last of my calm. I fell back into the wall, sweat beading on my forehead. For two years I endured their wrath, praying it would stop, begging God, but it only escalated. That day in the locker room was the breaking point.
Tom’s girlfriend had been crying and sitting alone. I touched her back and offered her a tissue. She accepted it and then smiled. The kind of smile that came with tears and heartbreak.
That was it.
One moment of kindness. One moment of not being on guard. One moment that would change the rest of my life.
I wiped my forehead and searched for my center the way Matt had shown me. That nightmare needed to stay locked behind its see-through wall. The one that forced me to remember and stay on guard, but kept the pain at a distance. I wouldn’t go back to the past. Not now. Not ever.
When my eyes opened, I spotted Lindsay at her locker. The pull was strong, even from across the hall. In so many ways, we were the same. Weak. Maybe that’s why I’d always liked her more than the others. She always seemed to be pretending, too.
“Hey,” she said, approaching.
I pushed off the wall and met her halfway. “Hey.”
“I wanted to thank you for this morning. You know, in the parking lot.”
“It’s no big deal.”
“Yes, it is. No one else would have dared to interrupt him.” She rubbed the spot on her arm where he had been gripping her. “I guess you heard, huh?” She rolled her eyes. “Of course you have, the whole school’s heard.”
I felt like any answer would be the wrong one. “I’m sorry.”
She shrugged, but it was sad and not very convincing. “It’s fine. I chose this. I pushed him away. It’s just that sometimes things in theory are easier than things in reality.”
“He still loves you.” I knew that much was true, even if Skylar momentarily distracted him.
Lindsay gripped her notebook to her chest and tears pooled in her eyes. “Love isn’t always what it appears to be.” She ducked her head and turned, her pale hair swinging across her back as she rushed down the hall.
A part of me envied her choice—to walk away from Blake and all that he represented. I wondered how long she’d last before going back to him. Four years at this school, and I’d never seen anyone successfully take a stand.