I t felt like it took a good hour for my heartbeat to slow back to its normal rhythm. I knew it didn't, but as tame as I'd kept things with Michelle, that was the most erotically charged bout of sex I'd ever experienced in my life .

She responded to being dominated like she'd been made for it, and I wondered just how much deeper we could have taken things if it wasn't for the nerves and fear that were still an intrinsic part of her. They might always be there too. After what had happened, why wouldn't she be leery of having a guy crowd in her ?

She sighed against me and I looked down just as she stretched and opened her eyes. She'd been dozing, curled up next to me, and I'd loved every second of it .

Curling an arm around her waist, I brought her in closer, then lifted one of her wrists in my free hand. There were faint red marks from the restraints I'd used, a sign of how hard she'd jerked against them. "These might bruise a little," I said softly, rubbing my lips over one faint mark. I didn't like the idea. Seeing a mark on a woman bothered the shit out of me even if it had been done in play and it hadn't really hurt her at all .

She blushed, darting a look up at me from under her eyes. "It's okay. I...um...well, I kind of expected it might happen when you talked about tying me up. I bruise easily – always have." Her tongue slid out, causing the devil that seemed to live in my prick to stir, interest rising. "If I have to go out, I'll wear long sleeves so I don't have to deal with people staring ."

She managed a shrug, but for all the casualness she tried to put into it, it still came off as self-conscious. "I know it's nobody's business what I do with my sex life, but I'm not as casual about things as some are ."

"You do you, Michelle." I pulled her on top of me and locked my arms around her, loving the press of her curves against me. "I don't need you to explain any of that to me ."

"Okay." Another one of those pretty blushes, then she smiled at me. "You're kind of wonderful, you know that ?"

Now it was my turn to feel self-conscious. I would have squirmed if I'd been in any position to do so, so instead, I shrugged and glanced away. "It's kind of required. Who's going to mess with a guy like me if I'm anything less ?"

I didn't think about how it sounded until the words were already out of my mouth, when it was too late to yank them back, but to my surprise, all Michelle did was lay a hand on my cheek. "You don't have to be...on...or whatever in the hell you call it when you work for me. You've told me to just do me. I guess that means be me. So why don't you be you? I think for the most part you are, and I like that guy. That's all you need to do ."

Fighting the urge to tense up, to spill her onto her back so I could climb off the bed and get away from those penetrating eyes, I made myself smile instead. "Sure thing, Michelle." Keeping the movement as casual as I could, I rolled her onto her back, with me facing the wall so I could slip out of the bed easily .

Distance.

I needed some distance .

How had she figured out that I hadn't been doing some lame-ass acting bit with her? I didn't know, but it wasn't good .

How did she seem to just get the fact that I needed to just be me around her ?

Yet another thing I didn't get .

But I couldn't afford to be me around her, or anybody else .

"I'm going to grab something to drink," I said, dropping a kiss on her nose. Nice. Casual .

Rolling over, the blanket pooled around my waist as I sat up. I'd been sitting there less than a second when she spoke again .

"Thank you," she said quietly .

"For what?" I squeezed my eyes closed, almost afraid to even know what .

"For believing me," she replied simply. "Not everybody would have, but you did. So...thank you ."

Fuck. How could I put distance between us when she kept doing things like that? I had no idea. Rolling back to her, I cupped her face in one hand, using the other to draw her closer. "You tell me something like that, why wouldn't I believe you ?"

A shuttered look entered her eyes, and she shifted her gaze. "Some people don't. Sometimes, the victim isn't believed ."

I don't know what drove me to say it, but I found myself saying something that just...hell. It came out. "A woman I know was attacked when she was in high school. Whitley. Hell, this jock raped her when she was sixteen. When she tried to tell the cops, they basically brushed it off as her having enticed him into sex since he was a star and she was a nobody. Her parents didn't want to pursue things because they were in politics and it would mess things up for them. So she just pretends it never happened, hides from it. She...hasn't healed. Probably because of that. The fact that people didn't believe her, or you, is their fault, their problem. It sucks that it becomes yours as well and makes your healing harder...but it never occurred to me not to believe you ."

"Thank you." She reached up and closed her hands behind my neck, tugging my face down until she could kiss me. "I can tell by the way you're looking at me that you're not real comfortable with me saying that, but...thank you. Not just for me either, but for your friend ."

Wrapping her in my arms, I pulled her in close and confessed something I'd been holding in deep and tight. "I want to kill him, Michelle. That bastard uncle of yours. I want to hunt him down, find him, make him hurt in ways he never imagined, then I want to kill him, slow and painful ."

"Don't talk like that, Jake. It's..." She sucked in a deep breath that made her entire body shudder. "I've dreamed about it before, but it would just bring it all back, and I'm almost level now. So just...don't. Even if thinking about it makes you feel better ."

"I won't." Kissing her brow, I rubbed my cheek against hers. "But yeah...imagining it makes me feel a hell of a lot better ."

But if anybody else ever hurt her, I wasn't sure how I'd react. The fact that Parker Nestor was in Chicago and I wasn't likely to run into him provided him with some protection, but I didn't know what I'd do if I were to ever meet him face to face .

I'd just have to make sure it wouldn't happen .

As Michelle said, it would just bring everything back for her, and the last thing I wanted to do was bring her more pain .