I forgot about what this looked like. Forgot my questions as to why Cade was in bed with a man. Forgot about everything but the fact that the man I loved wasn't breathing .

“Cade!”

He didn't respond when I yelled his name .

I ran the rest of the way, nearly falling as my feet skidded on the torn photographs. With each step, another detail of the scene imprinted in my mind, seared there in such a way that I knew I'd never forget any of them .

Cade's skin was pale, too pale .

The man wrapped around Cade was stretched out, like he'd lain down, but Cade wasn't laying. He was slumped like he'd been sitting and fallen over .

There was a glass on the floor, pieces of it broken, drops of liquid splashed across the wood. The smell of alcohol was in the air .

I reached the bed, my heart pounding. “Cade!” I said his name again before reaching out to touch him. I almost didn't want to, afraid that his skin would be cold, that I'd waited too long to look for him. No, I told myself. I couldn't lose him, not when we'd just found each other .

I shoved the stranger's arm off of Cade, barely glancing at the other man as he rolled onto his back. I heard him exhale and then ignored him. If he was breathing, I wasn't about to pay any attention to him. I didn't know if I would've anyway. All of my attention was on Cade .

I reached out, my hand shaking. I pressed my fingers against the side of his neck and nearly sobbed with relief when I felt his pulse. It was weak, but it was there. Then I put my hand on his chest and my heart skipped a beat. My first assumption had been correct. He wasn't breathing .

I dug my phone out of my pocket and dialed 911, putting it on speakerphone as I leaned over Cade, trying to remember what I'd learned about CPR during my freshman year health class .

I tilted his head back, opened his mouth and pinched his nose shut. I blew in a single breath before a woman's voice came over the air .

“Nine one-one, do you have an emergency ?”

“I need an ambulance.” My voice trembled. “Something happened to my boyfriend. He's not breathing .”

“Okay, ma'am, what is your location ?”

I rattled off the address, then leaned down to blow another breath into Cade's lungs. I could barely see through the tears burning in my eyes .

“I've dispatched an ambulance to your location .”

“Two,” I said, suddenly remembering the other man. “There's someone else here too .”

“There are two people who need assistance ?”

I gave him another breath before answering. “I got here a couple minutes ago and found my boyfriend and...a friend of his.” I wasn't about to try to figure out who this person was or why he'd had his arms around Cade. “They were both unconscious. The other guy, I don't know who he is or why he was here. He's breathing. Cade isn't .”

“Are you doing CPR ?”

I wanted to snap at her that I was trying to but she kept asking me stupid questions, but I focused on giving Cade air and just gave a short answer. “Yes .”

“The paramedics are on their way, miss.” Her voice took on a soothing tone that grated on my nerves. “Everything's going to be okay .”

The tears spilled over onto Cade's cheeks and lips as I kept breathing for him. It wasn't going to be okay, not if he didn't wake up. I didn't look at his mouth as I tasted the salt from my tears. If I looked, I might see that his lips were blue from lack of oxygen. If I saw that, I wasn't sure I'd be able to hold it together. And if I fell apart, Cade would definitely die .

And there was no way in hell I was going to let that happen .

I was vaguely aware that the operator was going on in the background, telling me all of the encouraging things that her job told her she was supposed to say, but I wasn't listening to her. There were only two sounds I wanted to hear right now. Ambulance sirens and, more than that, Cade taking a breath .

“Please, baby,” I whispered, my lips brushing against his as I spoke. “Please don't leave me .”

I gave him another breath and then took a shuddering breath of my own. I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold it together. Then, in the distance, I heard the wail of sirens. They were coming. I just needed to hold on .

“I love you,” I said before covering his mouth again .

I had to keep going. I couldn't even bear to think about what would happen if I stopped. I'd been living my life in the dark before I'd met Cade, barely knowing myself, not knowing everything the world could offer me. I wasn't going back to that. I couldn't go back to that. I wouldn't .

“Damn you, Cade.” I hit his chest with my fist. “Don't do this to me !”

He gasped and I gave a little cry .

“Cade?” I shook his shoulders harder than I probably needed to, but he took a shuddering breath, then another. I almost cried with relief, but then I heard footsteps behind me .

I spun around, spreading my arms out as I took a defensive stance in front of Cade. It took my brain a moment to process what I was seeing, and then I moved out of the way to let the paramedics through. I stumbled, then put my hand down. I felt a sharp pain in my palm, but I didn't acknowledge it. Cade was my only concern .

“Do you know what happened?” The male paramedic asked .

I shook my head as I straightened. “I came in and saw them like this.” I gestured towards the stranger. “I don't know who he is or why he's here .”

The female paramedic leaned over the stranger. “His pulse is weak .”

“Him too,” the man said. He glanced at me. “You know this one ?”

I nodded, fighting back tears again. “He's my boyfriend.” My hip bumped against the bedside table and I realized my phone was still on. I reached down and hung up, then slid my phone into my pocket .

“Does he do any drugs?” he asked. “Be honest .”

“No,” I said firmly. Glass crunched under my feet and I remembered the liquid I'd seen on the floor. “He might've had a drink .”

“Does he have any allergies ?”

“I don't know.” I pressed my hands against my chest. “Please, don't let him die.” I whispered the plea over and over as the paramedics worked .

As they moved Cade onto a gurney, the first paramedic who'd come in looked over at me. “You said you did CPR ?”

I nodded .

“If he lives, it'll be because of you .”

I barely heard the praise. All I heard was the “if.” My heart clenched. No, please, no. Not “if .”

“Come on,” the paramedic called as they started to take Cade down the stairs. “You can ride with us.” His eyes flicked down to my hand. “And you're going to need to get that looked at .”

I looked down, puzzled. Blood was dripping from my hand. When had that happened? I raised my hand and wrapped the bottom of my shirt around the wound. It'd do until I knew Cade was okay .

I climbed into the ambulance, taking the seat that the paramedics offered. I started to reach for Cade's hand, then hesitated, unsure if I should touch him. He'd always looked so strong and invincible. Now, with oxygen being given to him through a portable tank and mask, his skin pale and gray, he looked so weak. Almost frail .

“It's okay,” the paramedic said. “You can hold his hand.” He reached for my cut on. “Gives me a chance to take a look at this .”

“I'm okay,” I said absently as I took Cade's hand with my good one. I hissed as the paramedic started looking at the cut .

“You're lucky is what you are,” he said. “It's deep, but I think you'll be good with just a bandage. Unless you want stitches .”

“Bandage is fine,” I said. Especially if it meant I could stay with Cade. I hardly felt the paramedic doing his work or heard the sirens as the ambulance raced through the streets. When he said I was done, I put both hands around Cade's. “Come back to me,” I said softly .

The ride to the hospital and the rush that followed became like a dream. The doctors pulled me away from him and led me to seats to wait. Time lost all meaning as I waited. Nurses and doctors walked past, ignoring me as much as I did them. The only one I wanted to listen to was the one who'd tell me that Cade would be okay .

It was late evening, however, before that one came out .

“Are you here with Cade Shepard?” An older man walked towards me .

I nodded and stood, adrenaline flooding through me. “Is he okay ?”

The doctor nodded and the relief that washed over me nearly made my legs buckle .

“He's resting now,” the doctor said. “You can sit with him .”

“Thank you,” I said. I followed as the doctor led me back through the doors. “What happened ?”

The doctor gave me a sideways glance. “Are you family ?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. And as far as Cade was concerned, that was true. He didn't have anyone else .

Something about the way I answered must've convinced the doctor not to inquire any further. “There was a high quantity of narcotics in his system .”

“What?”

“Along with some alcohol. Not a lot, but still a dangerous combination.” He opened a door and motioned for me to enter. “And,” he hesitated, then continued, “the other young man had the same in his system .”

“You think they were partying,” I said with a scowl .

“It's not my place to say,” he said. “But you should know that the police will probably want to investigate .”

“That's good,” I said. “Because there's no way Cade did this to himself.” I walked towards the bed, my eyes fixed on Cade's pale face. “When will he wake up ?”

“I don't know,” the doctor said. “But I'll let the nurses know that you can stay here as long as you want .”

“Thank you,” I said. I glanced up at him, curious. “Why ?”

He gave me a partial smile. “Because I saw you sitting out there, waiting for him, and I think he needs you to be here when he wakes up .”

I thanked him and turned my attention back to Cade. When I heard the door close, I put my head down, resting my forehead on the edge of his bed and finally let myself go. The tears poured out of me and my shoulders shook. This wasn't some delicate, romantic crying. This was full-on ugly crying and I didn't care. I'd almost lost him. Someone had tried to take Cade from me and if that had happened, I wasn't sure what I would've done. I'd known I loved him and I'd know how scared I'd been of him walking out of my life, but the idea of him being gone completely was almost more than I could bear .

I cried until I'd released everything and was left with that empty feeling that came only after something intensely emotional had passed. I pressed my lips against the back of his hand. “I'm here, my Cade. I'll be here when you wake up.” My fingers tightened. “Just wake up, baby. Please .”