chapter thirteen
FOR THE SECOND time in the same number of weeks, Noah traversed the hallways of the FBI. This time, he left the kid at home. Matthias was not thrilled with the assignment. But he knew his expertise was needed, as long as Noah kept him as far away from the FBI as possible. Noah still wasn’t sure this was the right thing to do. After all they had a lot going on right now. But with everything happening and ORUS still an unknown, it wouldn’t hurt having an ally with government resources. If Blake Security scratched their back, they’d be forced to scratch back when he came calling.
When he was led into the Assistant Director's office, he stiffened his spine. Wincing only slightly as his knife wound pinched. Yeah, maybe he shouldn't have gone that extra round with Lucia this morning, but well, he was a bit of an addict. So what? He had gone for years without catching her. He had a lot of lost time to make up for.
Assistant Director Calhoun looked up with a smile. "Mr. Blake. Where is your associate?"
“He will not be joining us today."
The other man frowned. "That's not the job. You’re not a tech expert. You can't decipher these encrypted codes. We need him here.”
Once again, Noah was glad he hadn’t brought Matthias. The kid was right to be twitchy about the Feds. They wanted their claws in him. And like hell was Noah going to let that happen. He hadn’t helped the kid escape from one prison only to be put into another.
"We agreed to do the job. And we’re doing it. I came here to give you a status update.”
The Assistant Director sputtered. "B—b—but for access to all our files, he'll need to be on site."
Noah smiled. It wasn't a particularly nice smile. It was more of a shit eating one.
"Sir, you want to use Matthias because he is the best hacker in the world, depending on who you ask. You think you have something here in the FBI office that he doesn't have access to?”
“But we need—“
“You need status updates. Which he'll provide through me. You don't ever need to see him in person. If he needs access to your FBI database, you can either give it to him, or he can take it. Let's not fool ourselves and think that he can't. So we can do things the easy way—you just give him the access, through a private server if you prefer—or he can do things the fun way. For him anyway. He’d probably enjoy breaking in more to get the information he needs. But considering you're paying us to do a job, it's probably easier if you just give it to us."
Noah didn't even flinch as Calhoun blustered and yelled something about classified information for another thirty seconds. Then when he finally realized Noah wasn't going to back down, he sat.
"If he's going to access our servers, I need one of our people at the location to make sure he doesn't access anything he's not supposed to."
"You guys are hilarious." Noah shook his head. “You think in a security firm, I'm going to let an FBI trained hacker into my systems under the guise of showing the guy what he needs? I'm not a dummy. You need Matthias. He knows not to trust you, which is why he's not here. Look, if you want our help, you'll follow our lead. Otherwise, we’ll leave you to your own devices. How far was that getting you on your own again?”
Calhoun looked like he might blow a fuse. And Noah waited for that. Finally the man calmed down and sat back.
"You’re never going to let us near him, are you?"
Noah shrugged. “No. But you do have access to him. You just don't have it the way that you want."
"Fine. We'll do it this way. But sooner or later, your hacker kid is going to have to answer some questions.”
The hell he will. Noah forced a smile. “That's a conversation for another day. In the meantime, you want your status update or not?"
Calhoun nodded his acquiescence. And Noah gave him the information he had come to deliver. Shipping routes. Known associates. Current location of merchandise or last known port. The only thing Matthias had yet to crack was finding the head of the organization. But knowing the kid, he only needed time. When Noah was done, he sat back.
"That's all we’ve got for now. Matthias should have the rest of the information in a few days. Worst case scenario, a week. We’ll let you know if he runs into any roadblocks or problems. But, knowing Matthias, he won't."
Calhoun sat back. "You mean to tell me, in the span of a week, he's done what my guys couldn’t do in the months we have been searching for these assholes?"
Noah shrugged. "I don't know how the kid does it. I just know that he does."
Calhoun shook his head. "He could do a lot of good here. Make a difference, help people. That's not what your firm is about. Wouldn’t you like to give him a chance to actually do that?”
Noah's gut twisted. Yeah, he would love to give Matthias that opportunity. The opportunity to do nothing but pure good, but the kid made his choices. And right now, it was Noah's job to protect him. At least as much as he could.
"Matthias makes his own decisions. If he doesn't want anything to do with the FBI, then I support that. Just so you know, he helps a lot of people. He just does it in his own way."
"You mean outside of the law?"
"I mean by any means necessary, and we are a legitimate security firm. You wouldn't have called us in here if you didn't think we were the good guys."
Calhoun scoffed. “Since taking on this job, I’ve learned to work in the gray areas. And you, Mr. Blake, you and your men are one big patch of foggy gray sky.”
Noah stood. "Sometimes you need the gray before the sun comes out. I'll take my patchy, foggy sky." As he turned, a picture on John's desk caught his attention. There next to John was a man that he recognized.
He knew that face.
“Is this your family?” With a shaking hand, he picked up the frame.
The other man beamed in the self-satisfied way that only men who had it all could. He pointed to the woman. “Yes, that’s my wife Diana. We’ve been married for almost forty years. Hard to believe!”
“And this is your son.”
Calhoun puffed out his chest. “It is. He’s with the Bureau as well, has been ever since he graduated.”
Bile rose in Noah’s throat as he set the picture down and turned to leave.
Through clenched teeth Noah murmured, “You’ll get another update as soon as we have the location."
He muttered a hasty goodbye, bumping into the doorframe on the way out. The pain that ran through his shoulder and abdomen had anchored him. All his training was the only reason he got out of the building without drawing any further suspicion.
Outside on the sidewalk, he moved quickly to the second level of the parking deck to his spot. All the while, memories realigned and his mind raced over every bit of information from that day long ago. He’d never forget that assignment, of course. It had been the single worst day of his life. That case had stolen his best friend from him and changed his life forever. But now he couldn’t be sure if he’d ever truly known what was going on.
That face. He knew that face. He’d studied it from every angle. Then he’d stared it down over the barrel of his gun before firing the shots that changed everything.
If his target was alive and well and not affiliated with the cartel, then what the fuck did that mean for him?
Had ORUS known they were targeting an undercover FBI agent?
Lucia tripped into the penthouse loaded down with bags. All samples for an event. She’d been closer to Noah’s than to her office, and she needed to pee so bad she might burst, so she’d stopped off quickly.
She hadn't wanted to leave the ten thousand dollar dresses and accessories in the car downstairs no matter how secure it was supposed to be, so she’d had Oskar help her carry them up. She popped one of the hats on top of his head.
"You look very dashing," she said.
As she handed him the dress bags, she ran quickly to the bathroom and back to Oskar, but before they could start the trek back down, Noah came up the elevator.
She turned with a smile. "I was just going to have Oskar help me with this. But I think that you make an even better —" When she got her first good look at him, she paused. He didn't look well. "What's wrong?"
Even Oskar, who liked to pretend he was above it all, frowned with worry. "Boss, everything okay?"
Noah swallowed hard and nodded. "Oskar, get Matthias and Jonas. I need all the information you can dig up on Assistant Director John Calhoun. And I mean everything. Even if his wife has a hobby that she writes off as legitimate business, I want to know. Anything and everything. Financial statements. Anyone with a grudge. All of it."
Oskar nodded and even though he gave Noah an ominous glare, he went to do as he was told.
Lucia grabbed ahold of his arm. "Noah? Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. What happened? Are you hurt?"
He didn’t say a word, just stood there, his handsome face stricken with worry. She’d never seen him like this.
Noah shook his head. And for the first time Lucia could ever remember, Noah took her hand and met her gaze, whispering, "No. I'm not okay. I think I was sent to kill an innocent man."
Lucia dropped the bags where they stood. "Come on." She dragged him through the office, into his bedroom then shut the door gently behind them. "Tell me what's going on. You're scaring me. What happened? Was it your meeting today? I thought that was at the FBI office?"
Noah shook as Lucia tugged him down onto the bed.
"Talk to me, Noah."
Noah dragged in a shuddering breath. "I don't know. I’m going over it. And I can't see. I don't know. Trying to go back further, it’s all like this hazy blank space my conscience refuses to let me see."
"Tell me what you think you can't see."
He filled his lungs with air. "Okay, the day I told you about. The day Rafe died. I told you what I thought was important. How I got there. My assignment. All true. All accurate. I didn't leave anything out." He shook his head. "But I think there is something I wasn't seeing. Something I didn't know."
She rubbed her hand over the strong muscles in his back. "Okay, we'll figure it out together."
"The man I was sent to kill. I was told that he was a lieutenant for the Del Tino family.”
Lucia froze. The Del Tinos. So Brent had been right to warn her about them. Her heart sank, knowing that she couldn’t tell Noah about her secret meeting with Brent now. If he ever found out about that, he’d lose it. Although, she didn’t have to, she reasoned. If Noah already knew about the Del Tino connection then telling him wouldn’t accomplish anything.
She turned her attention back to him just in time to catch the rest of what he was saying.
“I was told that this guy was officially the second in command, but that he was the real brains behind the organization. The real reason the Feds could never get anything on them. Because the Del Tinos were clean. The old man was only a puppet figurehead. So my target that day was the lieutenant, Sanders."
She nodded. "Okay, he must have been a bad guy."
Noah rocked forward, placing his elbows on his knees. "If he was a bad guy, then why was his picture on the desk of the Assistant Director of the FBI’s Cyber Division? That guy I was sent to kill is Director Calhoun’s son."
Lucia frowned. "That doesn't make any sense." Then it hit her. "Oh my God, he was undercover."
Noah ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Probably. Now I have to keep playing that day in my head. That moment I raised my gun and Rafe stood in front of it. Did he know? And if he did, how? Because we worked for the same people. Sure, Rafe was higher up than I was, but we were teamed together for a reason. Fail-safes. He would have given me that information."
"Maybe it was new information that just came in? Maybe they realized they had it wrong?"
Noah shook his head. "ORUS never had it wrong. It was their job to have it right. We were supposed to take out the worst of the worst. Not undercover FBI agents. How many innocent people have I killed? How many?"
His moss green eyes were anguished, terrified, and haunted. Lucia had no idea how to help.
"Noah, if Rafe stood between that guy and a bullet, and you think he knew the guy was FBI, then that would mean he would never have let you kill any of those other people. So there has to be another explanation.”
He frowned. His brows knitting tight, his brain clearly working it through. "But how did he know? He was determined to stop me, and he had never attempted to stop me before. More often than not, he acted as my spotter, my guide. What made that any different?"
"That's the real question, Noah. Why was Rafe determined to save that life? But yet determined that all those others had to go?"
He nodded slowly. "I need to start from the beginning. That whole day. What do you remember? From the time you woke up to the time—" His eyes shifted down to his knees. "The time that I shot Rafe. Tell me everything."