I showered and changed into the pj’s I’d swiped from the apartment. Loose shorts and a silky strappy top, a pair of fluffy slippers I’d bought at Target because why the hell not? My stomach rumbled, and I pressed a hand to it.

It had been a long night, and I hadn’t eaten a damn thing. All the dancing, the sexual tension, and then the shock of what had happened to the apartment had taken its toll.

Noah had said he’d be up a little while longer, but it had been at least a half an hour. The coast should be clear, and he showed me where to find the kitchen, told me to help myself to whatever I needed.

I swallowed and padded to the bedroom door, opened it, and peered out.

The hall light was on, and Noah’s bedroom door was slightly ajar, but the room past it was dark. He was likely asleep by now.

I bet he sleeps naked. Ooh, that was a bad train of thought. I hurried down the hall and into the living area then past it toward the kitchen. I entered and paused to admire the space—it was my dream kitchen, for sure.

I’d always loved cooking, and this was both sleek and stylish, all silver and granite tops, but cozy, with a center kitchen island, and pots and pans hanging from the ceiling above it.

I made for the fridge right away, opened it, and peered inside.

“Bingo!” A box of pizza sat on the top shelf. “Please don’t have anchovies, please don’t have anchovies.” I removed it and placed it on the countertop, then flipped the lid open. No anchovies in sight, but plenty of pineapple. “Double bingo.” I lifted a cold slice from the box.

“Hungry?”

I shrieked and tossed the pizza slice up. It flopped back into the box, scattering pineapple everywhere. I grabbed at my chest, covering it instinctively, because this pajama shirt was far from modest.

Noah leaned against the doorjamb, topless, those swirling tattoos and colorful images stark by the kitchen’s overhead light. He wore nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, and the V that led down past the waistband was painfully obvious.

He radiated power. He commanded the room.

“I didn’t know you liked pineapple on pizza,” I said.

He stepped forward, approached the kitchen island, and I backed around the side, away from him.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Erika,” he replied.

I swallowed my nerves. Christ, I was a doctor, a fully grown woman, and he was not going to intimidate me like he had in the past. “Like what?” I asked. That’s right, keep him talking and ignore how fucking much you want him right now.

“Like, my parents are unhappy,” he said, and I quit walking.

“What?”

He laughed. “Shit, that slipped out. Always the case when you’re around. I say shit I don’t mean to.” He inhaled, shrugged those burly shoulders. “Fuck it, what’s the harm in telling you? I know you’ll keep this shit to yourself. My parents are unhappy. Always unhappy. They loved me and my brothers growing up, but they hate each other.”

“Oh,” I said, and nodded. “That’s why you never date.”

“Correct. Figured that was relevant, since you’re a deer in the headlights right now. What about you, Erika? You act like you’re allergic to me. Is it just me or is it all men? Who hurt you?”

“Hurt me?” I leaned my palms against the counter behind me, relaxing slightly. Funnily enough, talking about the hurtful stuff was easier than facing the sexual tension between us, the taboo aspect of living under his roof, even if it was temporarily.

“That’s right. Marc mentioned you got dumped.”

“Such a lovely way to put it,” I replied sweetly.

Noah’s throaty chuckle filled the kitchen, bounced off the cool, white walls. “Shit, you know what I mean. What was his name?”

“We’re really going to do this?”

“I don’t know, are we?” Noah asked. “It’s taking all my willpower not to rip that silk off your body. Talking helps. Talking about bad shit will probably help even more.”

I shuddered. “Jason,” I said and splashed icy water all over our desire. “His name was Jason, and he was an asshole. I worked with him before he left me. We worked in a practice together. Private practice. He owned it and had hired me, but when things didn’t work out, I was out of a job. And an apartment, since I lived with him.” I gave a small, bitter laugh. “I—uh—I wasted all my savings on something, and when it didn’t work out, I had nothing left.”

“Something?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m not cool with talking about that, even to douse the sexual tension. Forgive me.”

“Baby, I’ll do so much more than forgive you.” His voice was so goddamn deep, so loaded. “What else you got?”

“Uh, I like pineapple on pizza too? I thought I was the only one.”

“Why do you hate me?” Noah asked.

“Are you kidding?” I kept my hands where they were, on the counter, but gripped it so hard my fingertips hurt.

“No, I’m not kidding. Walk me through it.”

“Oh, come on, Noah, you’ve got to know why. There were so many times. So many things you said. I overheard you trash-talking me to my brother. I knew that you didn’t like me or thought I was a loser because of the focus I put on studies rather than floozying around. I don’t know. The time you pushed me in the pool at my brother’s birthday party? The names you called me? How small you made me feel? The fact that you made it plain I was nothing in your eyes, in front of everyone at that school. The list goes on and on, but you know all of this, you were there.” I finished and caught my breath. I’d put all that high-school crap behind me, all the hurt and the teenage angst, but it was strangely cathartic saying it out loud now.

“There was a reason for all of that.”

“Yeah, you’re an asshole.” But I grinned after I said it. I couldn’t rationally believe that after he’d just taken me under his wing. Or should I? Should I believe it was just so he could manipulate me or make me feel shitty again? “What about that last night before you left? That kiss?”

“It killed me,” Noah said, voice strained. “Killed me to hold back with you. Fuck, I wanted you, Erika. I wanted you so bad I fucking hated you for it. Yes, I was a toxic prick. Yeah, I’ve learned my lesson, but I never meant a goddamn word of it. All the shit that was inside, that was true. I didn’t—I couldn’t handle that. Still can’t, really.”

“Shit inside?”

“Not the colonic kind,” he said, grinning.

“Nice. Very nice. I like what you did there. Mentioning colons to kill the romantic vibe in here.”

He tipped an imaginary hat.

We fell into awkward silence again, and I focused on the pizza instead of looking at him. “So, you’re expecting me to believe that you were just, what, into me? That was the reason you called me a dork and embarrassed me in front of my brother and all your friends?”

“I don’t expect you to believe anything. Take the information or leave it. I don’t feel it’s relevant anymore.” He walked around the island toward me, and I was frozen. He stopped too close, so that his breath tickled my skin, and placed one hand on the base of my neck, tapped my collarbone with his thumb. “All I know is this moment. The fact that you’re here, and every time you are, this happens to me.” He took one of my hands from the counter and pressed it against the front of his boxers. He was hard as rock again.

I moaned and bit my bottom lip. “What are you doing to me, Noah? What are you doing?”

“Nothing yet.” He palmed my breast through my shirt and squeezed lightly. “What do you want me to do to you?”

Everything. I want it all. I want all of you. I want you on the kitchen counter. I want you to own me.

But I’d wanted it for too long and with too much intensity. A high-school crush that’d stayed with me and grown out of control over the past month. If we did this now… If I slipped his cock out of those boxers, and if he pushed me up against the counter and fucked me, hard and fast, it would all be over.

There’d be absolutely no turning back.

He didn’t want a relationship. I didn’t want to risk disappointing myself again. And every second with him brought feelings I couldn’t control. Ones that weren’t just physical.

“Noah,” I breathed.

He kissed me, and I whimpered against his lips, kissed him back, wrapped my arms around his neck.

He grabbed my ass and lifted me onto the counter, grinding himself into me, plucking at the strings of my top. He dragged one down, and then the other, and my breasts popped free.

I moaned again, losing my grip on that constitution, that decision not to do this. He’s your work colleague. What would Marc say? Don’t sell out! Don’t do this. Don’t trust him, don’t trust anyone.

The thoughts buzzed in the background as he kissed me, his tongue massaging mine. I soared higher and higher, my pussy throbbed for him, the front of my silk shorts already soaked through.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he said, against my lips. “Last chance, Erika. You’d better leave this kitchen right fucking now. I can’t take it. Woman, I’m going to fuck you raw again.” Each word was strangled. “You’d better go. Get out of here. Fuck it, call for takeout from your room. I can’t handle it.” It was almost a plea. A plea from Noah Cox. Mr. Unbreakable had started cracking apart right in front of me.

“OK,” I managed, pressing my forehead against his. “OK.”

He wrapped those massive hands around my waist and lifted me down from the counter, set me on my feet. He stepped back, and I glanced at his boxers, gasped. The front was wet. He was dripping for me.

“Go,” he growled. “Go.”

I hurried out of the kitchen as fast as my legs would carry me, and that wasn’t as fast as I would’ve liked, given that they were weak from what’d just happened. I halted in the living room, slipped my top back over my breasts, settled the straps, and looked back at him. “Noah,” I said.

“What?” he croaked.

“We can’t ever sleep together again. We can’t. If we do—”

“I know,” he said, but didn’t look at me. Maybe he couldn’t.

“OK.” That was all I could say or risk saying. If I stalled any longer, I’d go back in there and bend over for him. I darted out of the living room, into the hall, and then into the guest room. I slammed the door shut behind myself, considered locking it, then laughed it out.

If I locked it, it would be to guard against my emotions, rather than him storming in here. I didn’t doubt Noah had more self-control than I did. If he hadn’t stopped in the kitchen, I would’ve put all the negative thoughts on the back burner and allowed it to happen. Loved every second of it, in fact.

“Shit,” I whispered, and walked over to the bed. I sat down on it, stomach still grumbling. “I’m in deep dinosaur doo-doo now.” Even the lame joke didn’t resolve the desire still coursing through me.

It was Noah or nothing.

Nothing it is, then.