Jason. Jason, my ex, Jason.

What the hell was he doing here? Why wasn’t he in Chicago, assholing it up in the practice he’d fired me from? Why was he here? And why tonight?

Was the universe actively trying to shit on my head? Goddamn, if it wasn’t working.

Thankfully, one of the waiters had managed to refill my champagne glass in the interim, and I gripped it, tossed some of the sparkling alcohol back, and allowed the burn down the back of my throat to take the focus for just a moment. One tiny moment of bliss before the shit started.

Jason and his new woman—wife, judging by the rock on her finger—halted beside the table. Luna’s jaw was dropped. Noah stood as stiff as a board, his lips drawn into a thin line.

“Jason,” I managed, and, thankfully, my voice didn’t wobble. “How are you?”

My ex leveled me with the same too-bright smile I’d first fallen for, and guided his wife forward, like she was modeling the jewelry for sale, rather than his partner in life. She was heavily pregnant, around eight months if my guess was any good, and Jason and I had broken up four months ago. The math spoke for itself.

“I’m fantastic, as you can see,” Jason replied, nodding to his wife. “I don’t believe you’ve met Matilda.”

“No,” I said and got up. I extended a hand—trying to be the mature person and all that—and Matilda looked at me like I’d offered her a dog turd wrapped in a wet blanket. I dropped my hand. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Erika.”

“I know who you are,” she said, and sniffed. “Honey, can we go now? I’m kind of tired, and none of this food is any good. Such horrible service too. I don’t know why we thought New York at Christmas would be anything other than a disappointment.”

Luna glared at her—as a born-and-raised New Yorker, she looked ready to rip out eyeballs, pregnant lady or not.

“In a minute, sweet cheeks,” Jason said and patted her on her butt. The woman had squeezed herself into a tight black dress that stretched across her stomach, but, regrettably, she didn’t look bad. In fact, she was radiant, gorgeous, with dark curls, and a youthful face. She had to be in her early twenties, at least.

“Don’t let me stop you,” I said. “Have a fantastic evening, folks.” I sat back down and turned back to Luna, as if to resume my conversation.

“I see you’ve been taking the change hard, Erika.” Jason’s voice rose in the restaurant, and I swallowed, looked up at him.

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“You look like you haven’t slept in days.” Jason was practically exploding with pride at that little revelation. “Looks like moving from Chicago wasn’t a good idea at all. You been having trouble sleeping?”

I opened my mouth to respond.

“Yeah, she has,” Noah said, before I could get there. “I’ve been keeping her up all night.”

Jason jerked as if he’d been struck and glared at Noah as if he’d only just noticed the bigger man’s presence. “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m your worst fucking nightmare, that’s who the hell I am,” Noah said, stepping forward and pressing a finger into Jason’s chest.

Jason paled slightly, and he took a single step back before steeling himself. “You can’t talk to me like that.”

“I’ll talk to you however the fuck I want, you good for nothing waste of breath. What do you think you’re doing here, huh? What are you doing here showing off a pregnant wife when you know—”

“Noah!” I yelped. God, could he not reveal my deepest medical secret to the entire restaurant?

“When you know what it means to her,” Noah finished.

Jason sniffed. “You get your hands off me.”

“It’s just my finger, fuckface, but you can bet I’ll put my fists all over your face if you don’t get the hell out of this restaurant right now.”

Around us, the managing staff of the Chestnut had already mobilized toward the commotion. Gut-wrenching embarrassment bubbled up inside me, and I choked on bile. I shoved my seat back, grabbed my purse, and walked away from it.

Away from the table and the crap that was this Christmas Eve. I made it to the exit before a hand brushed across my shoulder.

“No!” I said.

“Ma’am, please.” A voice that didn’t belong to Noah or Jason and his horrible wife stopped me in my track. “Your coat.”

I blinked and accepted my coat from one of the waiters or managers, whoever it was, avoided their attempts to help me get it on, and shoved my arms down the sleeves. Finally, I hurried out and down the stairs, toward the main exit of the building, and out into the New York snow.

It was icy cold, and my shoes crunched over the ice. I put up my hand to hail a cab and my left foot slid out from under me. The icy path swung up to meet me, but I stopped in mid-air, caught by a strong arm around my waist.

“Easy,” Noah said in my ear, and set me on my feet. “You’ve gotta be careful of the—”

“Stop!” I snapped, and pushed him away, almost tripping over myself again. The shove hadn’t affected him in the slightest. “Stop trying to help me. Stop trying to protect me. I don’t need your help. I don’t need—”

“I can’t stop.”

“Why? Why not? Why can’t you just leave me alone?” A taxi pulled up beside me, and I grappled with the door handle. Clunked it open, bundled myself inside. Noah followed me in before I could stop him.

“Because I can’t, Erika. I just can’t.”

“Get out,” I growled.

“No.”

“Noah, if you don’t get out of this car, I’ll—I’ll—”

“What?” he asked. “What will you do? Push me away again? Tell me I’m nothing? Tell me I’m a user, a stalker, a creep? I’ve heard it all before, and I know the fucking truth. You need me near you. You need me, Erika, you just hate to admit that you do. You hate having to rely on anyone but yourself.”

“One of y’all has to get out,” the cabbie said. “My meter is on, and I ain’t turnin’ it off until we arrive at one of y’all’s destinations.”

“Fuck,” I snapped. “The Radisson.”

The cab took off down the street, and I held my breath, facing the window instead of looking at Noah.

“You have to talk to me sometime, Erika,” he said. “You can’t ignore me forever. I’ll camp out on your fucking doorstep if I have to. We need to discuss this.”

“There’s nothing more to discuss,” I said, but it didn’t make him disappear. His smoky cologne overpowered the scent of the cab itself, and I peered up at the buildings passing by, my reflection caught in the window. I ignored it, and I ignored him, but it didn’t help.

He was still there in the back of my mind, an ever-present need haunting me, even though I’d done my best to push him away. Tonight was the worst possible night. It was everything I didn’t want.

“I’m not going to leave you,” Noah said, and I closed my eyes, memories overtaking me.