Present day

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If she thought I’d leave, she’d lost her senses. That or she just didn’t understand the kind of man I was.

I walked with her into the elevator in the hotel, took it all the way up to the fourth floor in silence, then strode down the hall at her side and waited for her to open her hotel room.

“Noah, get lost,” she said.

“Has that ever worked for you before?” I asked. “Speaking to me like that. I told you, Erika, I won’t leave until we’ve discussed this. I—fuck, tonight brought it all home to me.”

She turned, holding her hand behind her back, on the door handle to her room. Her green eyes searched mine. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll explain it to you once we’re inside,” I said.

Erika chewed on her bottom lip, then shook her head. “I must be fucking crazy. That’s all there is to it. I’m crazy to allow you anywhere near me after everything that’s happened.” She opened the door to her room and slipped inside, and I followed her.

I kicked the door shut behind us, then strode across the small hotel room, one of the cheapest, judging by the size. Erika dropped her handbag on the coffee table, then stripped off her coat and walked over to check the heating. She fiddled with the dial and didn’t speak.

“Erika, look at me.”

“I’m mad,” she repeated. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I do this to myself. It’s like I can’t get enough of you, even though you’re a toxin in my life.”

Ouch. That wasn’t exactly fair. “Everything I’ve done has been for you, not for me.”

“That’s a lie,” she said, turning toward me. “That’s a damn lie, and you know it. You can’t tell me that this wasn’t a little selfishly motivated. The job? The pictures? You can’t pretend that I wasn’t a conquest or a game, just like when we were kids.”

“It wasn’t,” I said, but paused, examining it from the outside. “Maybe, in one way it was. Selfish. Not a conquest.”

Erika paused at that, tilting her head to one side, studying me now, as if I’d finally given her pause. “What selfish way?”

“I just want to be around you all the damn time, Erika. I want to be there for you, even though I shouldn’t be, even though your brother will lose his shit, possibly quit being friends with me if he finds out.”

She didn’t answer but walked across the room and sat down on one of the armchairs gathered around a glass coffee table. She sat upright—another thing I adored about her—her shoulders stiff and her spine straight. “Marc is your best friend,” she said. “He wouldn’t—”

“Disown me? Yeah, he would, because he’s always thought I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“We already went over this.”

“My point is, Erika, why would I risk losing my lifelong best friend if I didn’t actually give a shit about you? Do you think I’m that petty? That I’d throw a friendship away over a conquest? Everything I told you about who I was and what I wanted, about why I was such an asshole to you, was true. I couldn’t stand how much I wanted you.”

Silence greeted that proclamation, and Erika shook her head slightly, swallowed drily. “What are you saying, Noah?”

Fuck, you’re not really doing this, are you? You’ve never said it before. You swore you never would. You swore.

I warred with myself, but the look on her face, the fact that I was here with her, that she’d still let me in after all the shit, was encouragement enough.

“Noah?”

I walked across the living room and crouched down in front of her, taking her hands in mine. “What I’m saying is… What I’m—”

She inhaled slightly, shocked at the fact that I couldn’t get my words out, when I was usually so in control of my faculties.

“I love you,” I said, and the words warmed my chest. A ripple spread through me, as if I’d finally released something I’d been holding back. And I was. For years, I’d called it an obsession, when love was what it was. “I love you so much I can’t think straight. I do stupid things, thinking I can help you, get rid of these feelings, when, really, the truth is that it just won’t go away. So, I’m sorry, Erika, for putting you through pain, for being unable to manage my own feelings. It was a very shitty thing for me to do and was in no way your fault.” I lifted one of her hands, stroked that soft, pale skin, and kissed it. “I’m sorry, and I love you.”

It was the most I’d ever said to anyone. In the past, I would’ve considered it a weakness, but now, it was the only thing that made sense.

“Noah, don’t play with me,” Erika squeaked, then cleared her throat. “Don’t make this into—”

“I’m not playing games. I’m done with that. Done with who I used to be. I fucking love you.”

“Oh my god,” she groaned, hesitating still, her eyes flicking back and forth as she took me in. “You’re serious. You’re actually serious.”

“I am. About you.”

She slipped off the armchair, practically threw herself at me then, and fell right into my arms, against my chest. “Noah,” she whispered, and kissed my cheeks, my nose, my eyes, my mouth. “Noah. Noah. Noah.”

“I’m here, baby.” I pushed the coffee table back across the carpet, giving us enough space to spread out as she clambered over me, taking in everything I’d said. “I’m right here.”

“Noah,” she repeated and then kissed my lips again.

I parted hers and tasted her again, as I’d done before, but this time it was sweeter. She was giving herself to me without hesitation and accepting me in one. I kissed her, and she kissed me back so passionately it burned us both.

My fingers crept beneath the straps of her red dress, and I pulled them aside, gently, then kissed her collarbones, her shoulders. “I love you,” I repeated.

“Mine,” Erika whispered back, tracing my nose with her fingertips, moving them to my cheekbones. She pushed me, and I let her, lay back so she could sit astride me.

She leaned in, still kissing me, and I hiked her skirt up, feeling at the wet triangle of fabric between her legs, growling under my breath. Fuck, if only I’d set my ego aside earlier, we would have had more time together. We would have worked it out.

“Take me,” she whispered, against my lips.

I placed my hands on her back, cradled her and rocked her to the side, landing on top of her, but bracing myself so I wouldn’t hurt her. I unzipped my pants, freed my cock, then reached between her legs and ripped at her thong.

A ripppp of fabric followed, and she gasped. I tossed the ruined underwear aside, grinning now, and placed my head where it belonged, right at her entrance.

“Noah, please.”

I entered her in one swift thrust, sure and purposeful this time, no teasing, no hesitation, and she cried out, wrapped her legs around me, dug her fingers into my flesh.

“Oh my god, Noah.”

“I know,” I said against her lips. We moved together, taking ourselves higher and higher, toward the brink. I held myself there even as she crashed into her orgasm, the first of the night, and closed around me.

“You love me,” she whispered.

She still hadn’t said it back, probably wasn’t ready, and I didn’t blame her. I didn’t need to hear it from her lips yet. I’d known for years that I was the one thing she’d always resisted, simply because she wanted me. Or, that was what I’d told myself.

I pulled out of her, slowly, then rose to my knees, helped her up.

“What are you doing?” she asked. “You didn’t come.”

“I know,” I laughed. “But I want to do this properly. I want you where you belong.”

Together, we walked to the bed, and I stripped her down, piece by piece, until she was just bare skin and beauty in front of me. Perfection.