“What a Tuesday,” I said, as I stopped at the nurses’ station. “I’d kill for a coffee.”

“Tough morning, Dr. Gray?” one of the nurses, Maggie, asked. She was a total sweetheart and had been one of the first nurses to introduce herself to me. She was older, but sweet as sugar, and wore her uniform like a badge. “I heard Mrs. Henson screaming from the other side of the department.”

“Natural birth,” I replied and wiped the back of my hand across my forehead. “She refused an epidural and was furious when I told her we didn’t do water births at this hospital. Apparently, her midwife was unavailable. Emergency admission.”

“Tough cookie?”

“To be fair, she was pushing a baby out of her nether regions,” I replied and stirred the coffee in the Styrofoam cup Maggie had just handed me.

The nurse nodded sagely. “Every woman’s different. The screamers, the criers, the breathers, and once, I swear it on my mother’s grave, there was a patient who was entirely silent. She just sweated it out and gritted her teeth. That was a bad day.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Well, this lady, she was so soft-spoken and a total sweetheart, but her husband…” Maggie grimaced, and her usually serene features twisted. “He was a piece of work. I’m sure she was quiet because he told her to be, though I never heard it myself. She was so tense, that poor woman, and I don’t think it was about the baby.”

“What did you do?” I asked, and my thoughts flashed back to Jason, the practice, the complications. I shook my head to clear it. “Did you report him?”

“I’m afraid there was nothing to report him for, Dr. Gray,” Maggie continued, as another nurse, Gabriela, approached. She was younger and a definite gossip in the department. “But I know Dr. Cox took issue with the husband.”

Gabriela clicked her tongue and halted mid-stride. “Chatting about Dr. Cox, Mags? You know, he’s a little too young for you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Gab,” Maggie replied and rolled her eyes at the younger woman. “We were merely talking about the notorious silent birth. Remember that day?”

“Oh yeah, yeah, I remember,” Gabriela replied, and walked around to the computer. She hit a few buttons then sighed. “I’m far more interested in Dr. Cox. He’s a total dreamboat. I heard that you’re family friends with him, Dr. Gray. Is that right?”

“Well, news certainly does travel fast around here, doesn’t it?” I blinked at the younger nurse, and she gave me a sneaky grin in return, tucking her dark hair behind her ears.

“If it’s news, I know it,” she replied. “I’ve been keeping my eye on Cox. You see, he’s connected. I’m pretty sure that he’s the one who got—”

“Hush,” Maggie said, and pressed a finger to her lips, just as the man himself marched down the linoleum-tiled hall. Noah’s coat flapped out behind him, his shirt pressed flat against his well-defined pecs, tugging at his abs, and I held my breath, kept my expression impassive.

“Afternoon, Dr. Cox,” Gabriela called out.

He nodded to her and pulled up short. “Gray,” he said, and flashed a smile that was softer than any I’d seen from him before. “Just came from delivery.”

“How was it?” I asked, and tilted my head to one side. “Any complications?”

“None,” he replied. “It was the perfect birth. Baby practically slipped free of the mother.” He lowered his tone and moved closer to me.

Maggie caught the hint and hurried off down the hall, no doubt to check on one of the patients in the private rooms, while Gabriela sniffed and leaned over the computer, no doubt listening as hard as her ears would allow.

“It amazes me every time,” Noah said, softly, “what we do. The fact that I get to bring someone into the world. Fuck, you know what, I’ve always believed that the only real love is a parent’s love for their child. My folks are a pain in the ass, but I’ve never doubted that. Do you hear what I’m saying?”

“Yes,” I replied, swallowing the lump in my throat. A parent’s love for a child, something I’d never experience. “And I agree with you. It’s why I got into this too. It’s a miracle every time. Makes me glow inside.”

“You always glow inside,” he whispered, and my skin prickled. “Don’t forget, we’ve got a date with the park this weekend.”

“As long as the date is with the park,” I replied.

He chuckled and pinched the sleeve of my coat with two fingers, tugged it, lightly. “You always make me smile, Gray.” And then he swept off again, leaving me in a swirl of mixed emotions, the predominant one, shock.

“Sweet, isn’t he?” Gabriela said, but the sharpness of it brought me back to Earth with a bump. “He’s always like that after he’s delivered a baby. Goes all glossy-eyed and happy. I think he’d make an amazing father, don’t you?”

All hints of happiness drained from me. A father. I shrugged. “None of my business, nurse,” I replied. “I’ve got work to do, and I suggest you get back to your duties.” And then it was my turn to stride off, ignoring the hot glare from Gabriela at my back.

I didn’t care about her disapproval or about making friends with the hospital gossip. I was here to do my job, to live my dream of being a mother, in some sense, even if it was vicariously. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I refused them outright and thought instead of this weekend and how fun it would be to check out Central Park.

Better to focus on that than the alternative. Of my inability to be the woman I’d always wanted to be, and what that meant for me, for my relationships, and for my future.