Bella
“Here are the forms you need to fill out. This is for the birth certificate. This one is for the insurance. This one is for the application for a social security card.” I stare at each form and try to remember what each one is for as she continues her list.
“I’m going to go check on a couple other patients while you are filling these out,” the nurse says before leaving. The entire staff here have all been wonderful. The data processing woman continues to explain the forms to me when the phone rings next to the bed for the millionth time.
“Mom, can you answer it?”
“Sure, honey.”
I take the forms from the woman and hand Tristan the baby so I can fill them out. The baby. That’s what everyone keeps calling her because I haven’t decided on a name yet. Only I have decided, but I’m afraid to say it out loud. The minute I woke up from surgery and they wheeled her into my room, I almost had a nervous breakdown. She was literally a spitting image of Marco. It’s almost like I wasn’t even a part of conceiving her. I’m sure other people have noticed, how could they not? But nobody has said anything.
“Marco?” Someone says his name and I look up and see Marco standing in the doorway glancing from me to Tristan.
“I need to speak with Bella,” Marco says, his eyes locking with mine. He looks good. Nothing like he did the last time I saw him when he told me I was dead to him. He’s a bit less built than he used to be. It looks like he’s lost some muscle mass but he looks good nonetheless.
“Son, I don’t think right now is the best time.” Caleb puts his hand on Marco’s shoulder.
“I understand that but it’s important.” Marco’s eyes plead with me.
“Bella, I think something is wrong with the baby,” Tristan says. I drop my pen to take a closer look at her. It looks like she is having a difficult time breathing.
“Mom, get the nurse!”
My mom rushes out, and a few seconds later she is back in with the nurse.
“It looks like she’s have a difficult time breathing,” I say starting to freak out. I attempt to get out of the bed but my dad stops me. The nurse takes the baby from Tristan, puts her back in her rolling bassinet, and says, “I’m going to get her checked out.”
“Can I go with her?” Tristan asks.
“It’s best if you stay here. I will come back in and update you once we know something.”
“Oh my god!” I start to breakdown. “What could be wrong with her? She looked perfect.” My mom comes around to the side of the bed and holds me tight. “Don’t freak out, Bella. It could be nothing.” The room is silent for what feels like an hour, everyone worrying about the baby. The tension in the room is so palpable that it’s beyond uncomfortable.
Finally, the nurse and doctor walk back in.
“After running a battery of tests, we have concluded she will need a blood transfusion.”
“What? What’s wrong with her?” I cry out.
“It appears she is anemic and the lack of red blood cells are what’s causing her to have trouble breathing. The issue is she has a rare blood type. Her blood type is O and only another person with an O blood type can donate. There was an accident a couple days ago, and that patient required the same blood type, so we have put a call to the hospital closest to us for them to send some over; however, if one of the parents or a family member could donate it, it would speed things up.”
“Mom, what am I?” I ask.
“You’re blood type is B, Bella.”
“Ok, then the father has to be O,” the nurse states matter-of-factly.
“No, that can’t be right,” Ashley says. “Tristan is AB.”
“Are you sure?” the nurse asks. Before Ashley can answer, Hayley says, “Marco is O. He got a horrible stomach virus when he was thirteen and was admitted to the hospital. Because I wasn’t sure, I asked the nurse when she took blood and she told me.”
Everybody’s heads swing toward where Marco is standing.
“Fuck,” Tristan says, “Bella…”
“Ok, come with me,” the nurse says leading Marco out in a rush.
“Wait!” I shout, Marco and the nurse coming to an abrupt halt. “He’s a drug addict. Can he give blood?”
The nurse looks at Marco then to me. “It will go through a process. If it’s not clean, he can’t.” Then she turns to Marco. “When is the last time you did drugs?”
Marco shakes his head in shame but I don’t give a shit. This is my damn baby and she isn’t going to be given blood from a drug addict.
“It’s been ninety days since I have touched a drug,” he says causing me to gasp because holy shit! Marco is clean!
“Then we are good, but all blood will get checked before they begin the transfusion. I will keep you updated.” Once Marco and the nurse are gone, the room goes silent for a beat and then there’s an uproar.
“Bella, what’s going on?” my dad asks.
“Bella, tell me this isn’t what I think it is,” Tristan says softly.
“What’s going on?” my brother, Nathan asks. Suddenly, it feels like there are way too many people in this small room.
“Ok, everyone needs to calm down,” Hayley says over all the questions and accusations. “There’s a baby who needs our thoughts and prayers right now. We can deal with this after we know she is ok.”
“Why don’t we go down to the cafeteria and get a bite to eat?” Ashley suggests to Kaden, taking Nathan and Lilly with her. Mason is at the hotel watching the other kids but my siblings insisted on coming to see their niece.
“We’ll join you,” Caleb says, him and Hayley following them out.
“I need to go for a walk,” Tristan murmurs and walks out the door without looking at me.
Once it’s only my parents left in the room with me, my dad says, “Bella, you gotta talk to us. My imagination is running wild here.”
“Cooper, her baby is sick and getting a blood transfusion. This can wait,” my mom admonishes.
I close my eyes and think about how I am going to handle this. I was so stupid to think I would ever get away with nobody ever finding out Marco is the father of my baby. I don’t regret my decision because I did what I felt was best at the time but now that it’s coming to the surface I need to handle this. I need to woman up and face this head-on. Marco said he didn’t want a baby. He recommended I have an abortion. There was no way I was going to tell him I was pregnant with his kid after the things he said.
What I do regret, however, is lying to Tristan—even if it’s only technically by omission. He should have known Marco is the dad. He’s been nothing but supportive, and for him to find out I kept this from him is such a slap in his face. I can’t even imagine how betrayed he must feel. I need to explain things to him, make him understand why I kept this from him.
I’m not sure how long I lay here, thinking about how bad I’ve fucked up, but when the door opens and I see Tristan and Marco walk in, the blood in my body goes cold.
“I donated the blood. They said once they run it through the tests, as long as it’s clean they will do the transfer.”
“Is it clean?” Tristan sneers.
Marco’s nostrils flare and his fists clench as he tries to compose himself. “Yes, it’s clean. I’ve been clean for three months now.”
“This is unbelievable,” Tristan booms. “I want the truth, Bella.”
“Not now,” my mom pleads but Tristan ignores her.
“Is Marco the baby’s father?”
“Yes,” I say, done with the lies.
My mom covers her mouth and my dad lets out a loud growl. My mom has hinted to me several times that she knows who the dad really is, so it doesn’t surprise me that she isn’t shocked. My dad, on the other hand, looks like he’s about to murder someone, which means my mom never mentioned her assumptions to him.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Tristan punches the wall. “Wait a second, you said the father of your baby didn’t want the baby.” He turns to Marco. “Did you tell Bella you didn’t want this kid?” He stalks up to Marco and gets right into his face. “Did you?”
“No, I didn’t know…” Marco begins to say and his lie sets me off.
“You told me to have an abortion. You told me you didn’t want a baby.”
“You did what?” my dad booms. “You knocked up my fucking daughter then told her to have a goddamned abortion!” My dad grabs Marco by the collar and shoves him against a wall.
“I didn’t know she was pregnant with my kid, I swear. I was fucked up. I was on drugs and I didn’t know. I don’t even remember sleeping with her.”
My dad’s fist cocks back and it lands straight on Marco’s jaw, his face jerking to the side from the impact. At that moment, Caleb and Hayley come in. Caleb rushes over to my dad and Marco to separate them but then Tristan is in Marco’s face.
“I have spent my entire life loving this fucking girl and you had her and can’t even remember it. We have been friends for fucking years! How could you do this? Then, because you chose to get high instead of dealing with the accident, you told her to abort her child. And all of this was before you showed up at our apartment yelling and screaming at her because she tried to get you help!”
Tristan doesn’t even cock his hand back when he sucker punches Marco. All the guys grab them, tearing Tristan away from Marco. Once he gets himself somewhat composed, Tristan looks me dead in the eyes and says, “You should have told me, Bella. You should have told me the father of your baby was our best friend. It’s one thing to raise a stranger’s baby but you were just going to let me raise our friend’s baby without me knowing.”
My eyes close as I will the tears to stop. I know I’m wrong here; I know I don’t deserve to cry but the tears come anyway.
“I’m so sorry,” I say out loud. It’s not directed at any one person.
“Ok, we need to calm down. Bella just had a baby and that baby is getting a blood transfusion as we speak. All of this can be dealt with later. We need to focus on the baby right now,” Hayley begs.
“I gotta get out of here,” Tristan huffs and walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
“Bella, can I talk to you alone, please?” Marco asks.
“Over my dead fucking body!” my dad roars.
“Cooper, let’s give them a few minutes,” my mom says, pushing him toward the door.
“What? No! He had sex with my little girl and knocked her up. He’s never going to be alone with her again.”
“Coop, Bella is almost twenty-one years old. She’s not a little girl. Let’s go.”
“We’ll give you guys a few minutes,” Caleb says, and a few seconds later the room is empty except for Marco and me.
We both stay silent for a few minutes, neither of us having any idea how to start this conversation. Finally, Marco breaks the silence. “She’s beautiful.”
“You saw her?” I know he came in just before she was taken out but I didn’t think he was able to get a good look at her.
“My mom sent me a picture. She looks just like Chloe as a baby.”
“I was too young to remember what Chloe looked like but she definitely looks all yours.” I shake my head. “Funny how I carried her for nine months and she comes out looking just like you.”
Marco chuckles. “What’s her name?” I guess we are going to ignore the important shit for right now.
“I haven’t named her yet. I was scared to say her name; afraid people would put two and two together.”
“What do you mean?” He has a seat in the chair next to my bed.
“I wanted her to have a piece of you. So, I wanted to name her Micaela, after your last name. I remembered one time when we were talking, you said you loved your last name because it represented the best part about you…”
“Hayley and Caleb,” Marco finishes, his eyes filled with unshed tears. “Even after everything I said and did, you were still going to name her after me?”
“Of course, she is the best part of the both of us. I wanted to remember the good in you, the you before the drugs.”
Marco comes around to the side of the bed and takes my hand in his. “I’m so sorry, Belles. I never should have said the shit I said. I was in a bad place and I wasn’t thinking.”
“I know but it still hurt. You broke me, Marco.”
“What do we do?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“I want to be a part of this baby’s life. I know you and Tristan are together but maybe we can work something out, someway I can be there as well. I know it’s going to take time to figure it all out but I’m here now.”
“Tristan and I—” The door swings open, cutting me off, and in comes the nurse, the doctor, and the baby.
“Here she is.” The nurse wheels the baby to me and hands her to me. “We had to give her a small bottle of sugar water during the transfusion but you can breastfeed now. The doctor will explain everything to you.”
I take my baby in my arms and look her over. Her eyes are open wide, staring at me, her lips making a sucking motion. Not caring about anybody else being in the room, I pull my nursing gown down and latch her on the way the lactation specialist showed me, then pull the light blanket over her so she can eat in peace.
I look up and see Marco staring at me with a look of… awe? I’m not sure.
“The blood transfusion went through without any complications,” the doctor says. “Normally the IV is taken out, but because she is a baby, we have taped it up and are keeping it in, in case she needs anything. We ran her blood and her red blood cell count is up.”
“Is there anything I need to do for her?” I ask.
“You’re breastfeeding and that will help with the anemia. We are going to monitor her for the next twenty-four hours. If we need to, we will put her under the UV lights. To prevent jaundice, you will want to expose her to the sun light. Have her sleep near a window, take her for walks.”
“Ok, thank you.” I peek inside the blanket to make sure my daughter is breathing and eating ok. I have a feeling I’m going to be hovering over her for the next several weeks—maybe months— making sure she is ok.
“I will be by later to check on her.” The doctor and nurse both excuse themselves and I lift my daughter up over my shoulder to burp her.
“Can I hold her?” Marco asks.
“Not on your damn life.” We both look over and see Tristan stalking in. “You think because you suddenly show up, you are just going to have access to her? That’s not happening.”
Tristan walks over and stands next to me. I latch the baby onto my other breast and cover her with the blanket.
“You can’t keep me from my kid,” Marco says.
“The kid you told Bella to abort?” Tristan scoffs.
“I didn’t know she was mine.”
“That may be true,” I say, “but you looked right at the blonde you were snorting coke with and told her if she ever got knocked up she better be ready to have an abortion.”
I hear a gasp from the door and see Hayley and Caleb as well as my parents all standing in the doorway.
“You did not say that, Marco. Please tell me you didn’t.” Hayley has her hand over her heart. I didn’t mean for them to hear that.
“I was so fucked up. I can’t take it back and I’m not trying to make excuses but I wouldn’t have said it, if I wasn’t high. I know I need to take responsibility for the shit I said and did while high and I have every intention to. But the problem with words is, I can’t take them back. I can only try to make it right,” Marco pleads.
“You told me plenty of times you didn’t want to have kids, Marco. You told me you didn’t want kids because according to you, your bloodlines are tainted, and you weren’t high when you said that,” I point out.
“I know that! I know what I said” –Marco rubs his face with his hands, clearly frustrated– “But that was before we created a baby.”
“I need some time,” I say. “I need to focus on Micaela. Right now, she’s all that matters.”
“Micaela?” Tristan questions.
“Yes, her name is Micaela. Spelled M-I-C-A-E-L-A.”
“You’re naming the baby after the guy who said he didn’t want her?” Tristan looks at me incredulously.
“Look, why don’t we take a step back?” my mom suggests. “Emotions are running high. We don’t want to say things we can’t take back. Marco and Tristan, why don’t you both go home for a little bit. Let’s give Bella some time with Micaela. She will be discharged in less than forty-eight hours and we will sort this all out then.”
Both guys nod in understanding and walk to the door not daring to argue with my mom. Hayley comes over and gives me a kiss on my forehead. “I think her name is beautiful.”
Caleb gives me a small smile before they both leave.
“Bella, for what it’s worth, I agree with Hayley, I think it’s a beautiful name,” my mom says.
“Thank you.”
My dad doesn’t comment on the name. He simply says, “You’re moving home.”
“What?” I lift Micaela up and burp her once more.
“You’re moving home.”
I place Micaela back in her bassinet and make sure she’s wrapped up tightly before I say, “that’s a decision I’ll have to make.”