Marco
My eyes open and the first thing I notice is it’s still dark out. Thanks to having an infant, my body is used to getting up at the crack of dawn. Thinking about Micaela has me missing the hell out of that little girl. Maybe we should have brought her with us. What if she forgets I’m her dad? I make a mental note to FaceTime Liz later so she can show Micaela my face.
The next thing I notice is I am freezing my ass off. It’s got to be like sixty-five degrees in here, which is the new norm since Bella and I moved in together. She seems to think she’s meant to live in Alaska. When I mentioned it to her dad, he laughed his ass off and told me to have fun paying that electric bill. Apparently, he had to threaten her life when she was growing up to stop her from touching the thermostat.
Normally it would be fine. After our first night of living together, I went to the home goods store and purchased the thickest down comforter they sell. Micaela will probably wear winter clothes indoors until she’s ten. The problem is, right now I am lying in bed with no covers and I’m pretty sure my dick has shriveled up inside of me.
I roll over to see where the fuck my covers went and spot the culprit. Bella. Fucking woman is a goddamn blanket stealer. She is curled up facing away from me and has all the sheets wrapped around her. She looks comfy as hell. I bet her ass isn’t freezing. As much as I want to be annoyed, having her next to me in bed is worth my balls shriveling up into little corn nuts. I hope she knows when we get home, all her shit is being moved to the master bedroom. Originally, I recommended she take the master and I would take the second bedroom but she insisted she needed to be in the room directly next to Micaela. There’s no way I’m going another night without Bella in bed with me.
Reaching over her, I attempt to grab a little bit of the blanket to cover my lower half at least, when she growls. Fucking growls! And wraps herself up tighter in the blankets. Fucking woman! I grab a hold of the edge and tug harder. The blanket comes undone and Bells rolls with it trying to steal back the sheets.
Before she can grab them, I grab her by her hips and pull her to me. Her head lands on my chest and her legs come up around mine. I pull the blanket up and over the both of us. The angle I’m laying at, I’m able to see her portrait. Her eyes are softly closed, her eyelashes thick against the tops of her cheeks. Her cute button nose, just like our daughter’s, is scrunched up and the smallest smattering of freckles cover her nose. She’s so fucking beautiful.
Looking at her like this, one would never know she could probably kick most grown men’s asses. The thought makes me chuckle. She is so tiny, yet strong. She has such a big heart, yet is so stubborn. She knows what she wants and she goes for it. I can’t wait to watch her fight in a few months. Win or lose, this fight is huge for her. She’s been working her entire life to be in that octagon. I vaguely remember when she told me she was pregnant, I threw it in her face that her UFC career would be over before it even started. But I shouldn’t have doubted Bella. She can and will accomplish anything she sets her mind to. My woman is the ultimate badass.
I feel her legs wrap harder around my thighs, and I can feel her warm cunt rub up against my side. With my cock no longer in hiding from the cold, he stands at attention like he knows she’s near. I want so badly to wake her up for some morning sex but she looks too peaceful asleep, and she deserves to sleep in. It’s not often she gets a morning without having to wake up with Micaela or to train.
Carefully, so as not to wake her up, I grab my cell phone from the nightstand and shoot off two text messages. One to Mathias to see what his plans for today are. I also want to bring Bella by the hospital to visit Logan but after that, we have roughly twenty-four hours to have a little bit of fun. The other text goes to her mom to check on Micaela.
Mathias responds immediately suggesting we meet at Dexter’s. Not exactly my first choice but it’s a huge hangout and Bella might want to meet up with some of her friends while we’re there. I let him know what time we’ll meet him.
Not having heard back from Liz, I text the same message again. This time she responds right away with a video. I click on it and it’s a close up of Micaela rocking back and forth on her knees. She wants to crawl but hasn’t done it yet. She’s smiling wide staring at someone and when the person goes closer and tickles her, she lets out a loud laugh as she moves her knees forward, crawling a few inches before she plops down. Holy shit! My daughter belly laughed and crawled. The laugh rings out though the room and it wakes Bella. The video ends with Nathan, Bella’s brother, giving Micaela a kiss on her cheek, laughing with her.
“Marco?” She rubs her eyes and stretches. “Is Micaela here?” She squints, her eyes confused.
“Babe, you have to see this. Your brother made Micaela laugh—”
Bella, still half asleep, cuts me off before I can finish. “Marco, she laughs all the time.”
“No, like a big laugh and she crawled. Watch.” I hit play on my phone and hold it up so she can see it. The video plays through with Micaela laughing hard again, then her little legs scurrying forward.
“Oh my god! Marco! We missed her really laugh! And she crawled!” She jumps out of bed and starts running around the room like a crazy person.
“Belles, what are you doing?”
“I’m packing. We’re going home. I missed her laugh! I missed her crawl! What else am I going to miss while we’re gone? Her talking? Walking?”
Even though I know she isn’t serious, I know she is serious, so I hold back my laughter. “Belles, we aren’t leaving.” Then I get up and stop her from shoving everything within her reach back into our suitcases.
“Babe, stop.” Caging her in between my arms and the dresser, I give her a light kiss. “We are staying and enjoying ourselves. You want to video chat? Fine. But then we are going to get breakfast, visit Logan, spend some time at the beach because I saw those sexy bikinis you packed, and then we are meeting my cousin for dinner at Dexter’s.”
I can feel it when Bella relaxes into my arms. “Ok, but if she does any more cute stuff, I’m getting on the next flight back home.”
“Deal.”
“I slept so good last night.” She smiles and gives me a kiss. I almost bitch jokingly about her stealing the covers but don’t.
“I did, too.”
“So, I didn’t steal the covers?” Huh?
“Umm. No. Why would you ask that?” If she says she slept with another guy I might be arrested for murdering the motherfucker she slept with.
“I knew he was lying!” Her face contorts into the cutest angry face. “Ow. Marco!”
I look down and see my fingers are digging into her sides and I immediately let go. “Sorry, I need to go for a run.” I start throwing on my shorts and running shoes to go run off some steam. Without saying another word, I pull open the slider door, almost taking it off the track, and slamming it closed.
Without even warming up, I put my earbuds in, turn my playlist to loud, and take off for a run. The whole thing is stupid. Bella and I slept together three years ago. She’s a beautiful woman. Of course she’s had sex with other guys since we were together. There was a good two years before we hooked back up which landed her pregnant. I know logically I can’t be mad. I spent most of my teen years as well as my twenties majoring in fighting and minoring in fucking. I couldn’t even begin to count the number of women I’ve been with.
I’m almost twenty-seven years old. While I haven’t dated anyone serious, I have been on my fair share of dates, had plenty of one-night stands, and only occasionally spent a few months hooking up with the same girl. I wish I could say I fell in love with Bella as a kid and waited around for years to be with her—it would definitely make me more likeable. But the truth is, while I have always loved Bella, I never imagined actually being with her. Between our age difference and our families being close, and then add the fact that I had no intention of settling down or getting married let alone procreating. We were on two different paths and I never thought they would collide.
I knew having sex with her at the Cabin was wrong but I couldn’t help myself. I was selfish. I wanted her. I had to have her. But I never deserved her. Shit! I still don’t deserve her.
Bella deserves the fucking world. She should have ended up with a guy with a perfect head on his shoulders. The guy who would graduate from college and provide a stable and loving home for her. He would be sweet and tender and patient. He would come from a good upbringing and bring as much to the table as she does. I know it makes sense she’s probably had sex with other guys, guys a hell of a lot worthier than me, but fuck if it doesn’t kill me inside. Because her having been with other guys is because I chose to be stupid and ignore the pull between us.
I run harder and faster, my lungs struggling for air, my heart pounding to its max, as I picture everything she’s not getting, and it’s all because she fell in love with a fuck up. She got knocked up while I was high, was forced to put fighting on hold, had to drop out of college and move home so her family could help her. Fuck! She deserves so much more than a guy whose longest relationship was with the woman who supplied his heroin and coke to him.
I reach the bridge and feel my legs give out. I give in and collapse onto the hard sand, focusing on my breathing, trying to steady it out. Trying to catch my breath, with my knees up, my head falls as I take in huge gulps of air, trying to fill my lungs.
“Hey!” My head shoots up at the sound of Bella’s voice. She’s out of breath standing above me. Her hands go to her knees as she bends over panting for a minute before she sits down next to me.
“What the hell was that for?” I can feel her glare on me but I stare out at the ocean instead of looking at her.
“You do hog the blankets.”
“What? You ran away because you lied about me hogging the blankets?”
“No,” I snort. “I ran because I pictured you hogging the blankets with another guy.” This time it’s her turn to snort.
“Are you jealous?”
“Fuck yeah, I am,” I say, owning that shit.
“Should I be jealous of all the women you’ve slept with?”
“I didn’t say it was justified. I just said I was.” This earns me a laugh.
“It was Tristan.” I jerk my head to face her in shock, almost giving myself whiplash.
“You and Tristan…” I can’t even bring myself to finish the question.
“What? No! I mean, we slept together but only together in the same bed. We didn’t have sex. You’re the only person I’ve had sex with.”
“Great.”
“Now you’re upset I haven’t slept with anyone else?” she says, incredulously.
“Yes! NO! Fuck! No, I don’t want you to have sex with anyone else but I’m already barely worthy of you. Now, add that you waited for me while I whored myself all over town. Why the fuck are you even with me?”
I scrub my hands over my face in frustration.
“Marco Michaels, what the hell are you talking about?” Bella demands.
“You. Me. The fact that I was a male-whore while you were only with me. I don’t fucking deserve you. You deserve better.”
“Seriously? Just because I chose not to have sex while you chose to have sex doesn’t mean shit. Are you still having sex with other women?”
I look at her like she’s fucking crazy because she must be to think I would ever choose another woman over her now that I have her.
“Of course not, but you belong with a guy who has shit going for him.”
“You have had a damn good career as a fighter and you will be running my family’s gym soon and training fighters.”
“You should be with a guy who has a college degree and a good upbringing,” I argue.
“So, you’re saying Hayley and Caleb are trash? That’s not nice.” I hear the humor in her voice.
“You know what I mean.”
“You need to stop, Marco. Everybody deserves to be loved. I don’t care where you came from, who gave birth to you, who you slept with, or what mistakes you’ve made. I love you for you.”
“Maybe that’s because I’m all you know. You haven’t experienced anyone else. You don’t know if some other guy will make you happy or satisfy you.”
“Did you really just go from being jealous of me possibly screwing some other guy to trying to convince me to screw some other guy?”
“Well when you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous.”
“Marco, there’s no guarantees in life. You could wake up tomorrow and decide I’m not the one for you. The professor in a psychology course I took said seventy percent of marriages end in divorce. I would say the odds are against most people. So what if I didn’t sleep with other people, and who gives a shit that you did. And fuck anyone who chooses to judge either of us.”
And this right here, ladies and gentlemen, is why I will spend the rest of my life making sure this woman knows how wanted and loved and needed she is. This is why I took her for granted. This is why she was my best friend for half my life. Because she loves unconditionally and without judgement. She is an amazing person who brings out the best in everyone around her.
“Now, you are going to have to carry my ass back because holy shit! I just about died trying to catch up to you.”
“Your ass is about to be in your first UFC fight. You better be in better shape than that.” I give her a wink and she glares.
“Fine, I’ll race you back.” She jumps up and takes off, and of course I run after her, because let’s face it, I would follow this woman anywhere, and I fully plan to for the rest of my life.