Marco
I’m sitting on the back patio of my new condo overlooking the water. My head is pounding because Sara is running late. After I made the decision to walk away from Caleb, I stayed with Ivan for a couple of weeks. When Caleb returned, trying once again to get me to go to rehab, and I made it clear he has no say in my life, he practically disowned me, and told Mathias about me doing drugs.
Mathias, of course, sided with Hayley and Caleb and kicked me out, saying once I’m ready to get help I am more than welcome to move back in. So, I moved into a new condo complex. I met Sara and quickly learned she is into the same recreational activities as I am.
Janell was getting too fucking clingy so I cut her loose once I found out Sara could score for me. She’s running late from work and I just did my last bump a few hours ago so I am coming down hard. If she doesn’t get here soon, I am going to have to call my dealer. I can’t stand dealing with him, especially since he thought he recognized me once. The last thing I need is it getting out who I am.
There’s a knock at my door and I jump up to answer it. Usually Sara just comes in, but maybe she forgot her key.
I swing it open and come face to face with… not Sara. “Can I help you?”
“Actually, I can help you.”
“Aren’t you Tristan’s girlfriend... or I guess ex-girlfriend.”
“Yes, Gina. Are you going to invite me in?” I look out the door to see if anybody else is here, not having any clue why the hell she’s here.
“Umm... yeah, sure.” I let her in and she goes right to the couch to sit down. “You don’t by any chance have any powder on you, do you?” She glares are me. “Ok, I take that as a no… pills?”
“No! My god, you need to get your shit together.”
“Oh fuck, did Tristan send you here? Didn’t he cheat on you?”
“He didn’t send me here and that’s actually why I’m here. Tristan didn’t cheat on me.”
“Umm… sweetheart, the baby in Bella’s belly says otherwise. Look, if you don’t have any powder or pills, you’re no use to me, so...” I stand up to open the door for her in case she doesn’t get the hint.
“Actually, that’s where you are wrong. I am of use to you because I know something you might want to know.”
“Doubt it.”
“How about the fact that Bella is pregnant…”
“I already know that.”
“…with your child. Not Tristan’s.”
“And you’re fucking delusional. Get out.”
The door opens and Sara comes in. “Thank God!” I grab the baggies from her hand and ignore Gina still standing in the room, going straight to the table to line up the powder.
“I’m not delusional. I even have proof.” Using my razor, I make a straight line and lean forward.
“Look.” She sticks her phone out in the way of my bump.
“Move,” I growl out.
“No, look.” She shoves the phone in my face. At first, I’m not sure what I’m looking at. It looks like a picture of a handwritten letter. I scroll down but there’s no name. The letter is unfinished.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“Read it.”
My sweet baby girl,
I am 24 weeks pregnant today and read in my baby book that moms sometimes write notes to their unborn babies. When I thought about writing to you, the first thing that came to mind was telling you the truth. I don’t want to begin our mother/daughter relationship with lies, even though we will be, but this letter is in case something happens to me. If you are reading this, it means you know your dad isn’t your biological father and you have asked for answers.
First, I want to tell you that I love you more than life itself. You aren’t even here yet but my heart beats for you. I hope if I am no longer with you for whatever reason you know how deep my love runs for you. Every choice I made was made out of love for you. I can’t tell you if I made the right decision but I will tell you, I made what I felt was the best decision at the time.
With that said, the man who you share DNA with is Marco Michaels. He is Caleb and Hayley’s son. He doesn’t know you are his and he never denied you. You also need to know that your dad (Tristan) loves you already but he doesn’t know who your real father is either. I chose to keep it a secret because your biological father wasn’t in a good place even though I promise you, you were made from love.
If you are reading this, something happened to me, it will be up to you if you choose to seek him out. I hope and pray he is in a better place but if he’s not, just know that at one time, Marco was my best friend. He was
I reread the unfinished letter three more times. How the fuck is this even possible? How am I that baby’s father? It doesn’t make sense.
“How is this possible?”
“Well, according to Tristan, the night we came here for the party, him and Bella ended up hooking up, but since I know that isn’t true, I’m thinking you and Bella hooked up that night. And I take it, you don’t remember that night…”
The party? Fuck, there’s been so many parties. How could I have had sex with Bella and not remembered?
“It was like six months ago at your old place. We went over there to break up the party. Bella went into your room with you and when she came out she said you were sleeping.”
The party.
My bedroom.
The grey hoodie.
Fuck!!!
The grey hoodie said Cooper’s Fight Gym, I knew I recognized it. It was Bella’s.
If this letter is true, if I am the father of her kid…
Oh, my god! The shit I said to her.
I told her to have an abortion.
Fuck!!
I click on the photo and text it to my phone. “Here, you can go.”
“That’s it? Aren’t you going to go to her? She’s carrying your child. Tristan was supposed to be mine and that bitch fucked it all up,” Gina snaps. “You need to claim that baby.”
“Watch your fucking mouth and get out.” I look at Sara. “Both of you.” Sara puts her hands up and both girls leave, Gina continuing to call Bella every name in the book.
I grab my phone and dial the only person in the world who can help me right now.
“Marco? Son?”
“Dad, I need you.”
He sighs into the phone. “Marco…”
“I need to go to rehab. I need help. Please.”
“I’m on my way. I love you, Son.”
I sit in my living room for what feels like hours, staring at the image of the letter supposedly written by Bella. I want to call her and ask her if she really wrote it but deep down in my gut, I know she did. I think back to the look on her face when she showed up here to tell me she was pregnant. She was so scared and vulnerable and instead of lashing out, she tried to get me help. I don’t even deserve this woman.
Then I think about when I showed up at her place and Tristan said the baby was his. I yelled and screamed at her. I called her names and told her she was dead to me. Maybe I should just pretend I didn’t see the letter. Maybe her and our baby are better off with Tristan.
There’s a knock on my door and I know it’s my dad. I open the door and he comes in, and without saying a word wraps me up in a hug. I lose it. I cry until I’m sobbing. But my dad doesn’t say anything. He just lets me lose it. Once the tears stop, he says, “I need to know what caused all this, Marco. I need to make sure you get the right help.” We have a seat on the couch and I take a deep breath trying to figure out how to answer that question.
Where do I even start?
“I’m in pain. My back wasn’t healing and the pain became too much. I was grieving for Logan and not being able to fight, and I lost it. Pills turned to coke and it just all spiraled out of control. I need the drugs, Dad.” I look him dead in the eyes. “I need them. I can feel it in me. I am craving them right now.”
I stare at my shaking hands and wonder what will happen once the need is too much. Right now, I’m ok, but what will happen when I need the pills and powder in my blood stream? Will I give up and choose the drugs over my baby?
“What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t get clean? My mom… my biological mom…” My dad jumps out of his seat, bridging the gap between us.
“Don’t you fucking finish that goddamn sentence. Don’t you dare blame her, and don’t you dare believe you can’t get better because of her. You are my son. Mine and Hayley’s. I don’t give a fuck who’s blood runs through your veins.”
I nod in understanding, choosing not to voice my doubts.
“Let’s get you to the facility. I’ve already called ahead and let them know you are coming in. What you need to understand is that you’re an adult. This is one hundred percent voluntary. If you choose to leave, I can’t stop you.”
“Thank you. I’m not coming out of there until I’m clean.”
“I’m going to tell your mom about your pain. She will know who to contact. We will get your back fixed. I promise.”
We both stand and head to the door. I give him my keys and cell phone, knowing I won’t be able to bring them with me. The drive to the rehab facility is about an hour away, and of course, it looks like an expensive resort. This is California after all.
My dad stays by my side through the entire check-in process. He doesn’t once leave me until the doctor tells him this is where we must part ways. He envelops me in a hug, his words coming out gritty. “I love you, Marco. You are going to get through this. We will come and visit as soon as we are allowed.”
“There’s something you need to know,” I whisper. “I think I’m the father of Bella’s baby.” I feel his body stiffen but he doesn’t say anything, only nods then looks me straight in the eyes.
“You get better for you and only you. You understand me?” I agree, giving him one last hug before following the doctor into the facility where I will be spending the next ninety days.