Bella
I wake up and look over to see Marco passed out in the chair. The entire night he was helpful. Every time Micaela would wake up, he would hand her to me and then change her diaper before laying her back down. Surprisingly, I slept well in between feedings and feel refreshed. Well, as refreshed as a new mother can feel, anyway. I, at least feel less exhausted than yesterday.
Micaela is still asleep, so I grab my phone from the nightstand to text Tristan since I haven’t heard from him but when I look up, I see him standing in the doorway.
“Hey,” I say, putting my phone back. “How long have you been here?”
Tristan steps in closer and I notice he has black circles under his eyes. His hair is a bit disheveled and if I’m not mistaken, he’s wearing the same clothes from yesterday.
“Just a few minutes. We need to talk.” He walks closer to the bed.
“Ok.” I’m not sure what Tristan is going to say but I know whatever’s coming my way, I deserve. I put him in a shitty situation. While, I was always upfront about not wanting to be a couple, he was one hundred percent committed to being Micaela’s father.
“I know there’s nothing between us and I finally accept that, and while I am pissed you kept her paternity from me, I want you to come home. I want you to raise her in our apartment. I don’t trust Marco. He just got out of rehab. What if he relapses?”
After my parents left I weighed all my options and came to a decision. “I’m moving back home.”
“Good.” He nods.
“No, I don’t think you understand. I am moving back home… to Las Vegas. My parents are going to help me raise Micaela. I want to finish school. I didn’t understand how important it was until I had her. I need to make sure I can provide for her. I want to train as well. I can’t move back in with you. It’s not fair to you.”
“Bella...”
“No, Tristan. You are one of the most selfless people I know. You have been my best friend for as far back as I can remember. You have always put me first but I’m not going to let you do this. You deserve to be happy, to find love, to have a damn life. I never should have put you in this position. I’m so sorry.”
Tristan’s head drops and he sighs just as Marco clears his throat. Shit! I am such an idiot! I completely forgot about the guy sitting in the chair next to me, sleeping. I have no idea how much he heard until he says, “You’re moving to Las Vegas.” It’s not a question; he heard me.
“Which is for the best,” Tristan adds. Marco stands up and I’m scared they are going to get into it again. Marco’s jaw and lip are already puffy from being hit by Tristan and my dad yesterday.
“Deciding what’s best is between Bella and me.”
“Marco,” I chide. “Don’t act like that.” I give him a warning glare and his eyes soften.
“Are you serious right now? I’m pretty sure you lost the right to decide what’s best for either of them the day you told her she was dead to you.”
“Tristan, that’s not fair,” I say. I’m stuck in the middle of these two guys battling over me and my daughter and I can’t help but feel guilty. We were all friends and our friendships have been destroyed.
“I’ll give you that,” Marco calmly says. “I know I said some fucked up shit that I can’t take back but I am working on making it right, which starts and ends with being the man Bella and our daughter deserve. Here’s the thing, I respect the hell out of you for being protective of and caring for Bella and my daughter, and if you two were in love and wanted to be together, I would suck it up and be happy for you two.”
I’m shocked by Marco’s admission and maybe even a little hurt that he would be ok with Tristan and me being together. I know Marco doesn’t see me the way I see him, but still…
He continues. “I would live with it. I would co-parent the best I can with you, man. But you two aren’t together. You said it yourself. So, I don’t want to sound like an asshole but Micaela is my daughter and I’m here and Bella choosing to put my name on her birth certificate gives me the right to make decisions with her.”
Tristan’s eyes shoot to mine in disbelief and maybe even a little bit of disappointment. Then Marco says, “Look at the bright side. Now you and Gina can be together.” Tristan’s look turns to confusion.
“What the fuck does Gina have to do with this?”
“She’s the one who told me about the baby, that she’s mine.”
“What did you just say?” Tristan asks slowly.
“She came to me three months ago and said I was the father. She showed me a letter Bella wrote to Micaela and it stated I was the dad. Gina said she knew you didn’t cheat on her and she asked me to take responsibility so you two could be together again. Something about you being hers.”
Tristan turns to me. “You wrote the baby a letter letting her know who her father was? You were going to let me raise her with every intention of telling her one day Marco was her dad?”
Oh shit. “No, that letter was in case I died. I read moms should write their babies letters and so I wrote one in case I died and Micaela wanted to know the truth. I never planned to just give it to her.”
“This is un-fucking-believable. So, you knew you were the dad three months ago, yet you waited until she was born to make it known.”
“No man, I didn’t want to go to Bella while I was on drugs. I called my dad and checked into rehab. I knew I needed to be clean when I went to her. She wasn’t due for another four weeks. I thought I had time. I didn’t know she would give birth almost a month early.”
“Holy shit,” Tristan laughs out humorlessly. “I can’t even deal with all this. Bella, if you choose to stay in the apartment, you know I won’t kick you out. Just let me know. If you are leaving, I need to look for another roommate.”
Tristan walks toward Micaela and I hold my breath. “Goodbye pretty girl.” He brings two fingers to his lips and presses them to her forehead. Then he comes to the side of the bed and gives me a chaste kiss on my forehead. “I need some time, Bella.” His words sound a lot like goodbye.
“Please tell me I’m not losing you, Tristan.”
“Right now, I can’t tell you anything.”
Hot tears prick my eyes as I nod my understanding. “Ok.”
“Let me call you,” he says. The tears release and fly down my cheeks as my best friend walks out the door and out of my life.