Bella
“You did all this for me?” I glance around the room seeing the table set up in front of the television with my favorite foods, complete with two candles lit up in the center. It’s been six weeks since Marco confessed to me he wanted to have his daughter and me in his life. I assumed at the time he meant he wanted us to be more but after all these weeks and not even a mention of us, I was starting to think maybe I misunderstood.
I know I told him we needed to take things slow, that we need to focus on our daughter, but it was easier to say that when I was in the hospital. Living in the same house as Marco is downright torture. The guy hasn’t worked out in almost a year and still looks hot as hell. Then add the fact that he cooks for us, helps take care of Micaela, and does laundry. A woman only has so much self-control.
He hasn’t left once to hang out with friends, despite me telling him he can go. He attends his meetings a few times a week but always comes right back. And when he’s home, his attention is focused entirely on me and our daughter. I couldn’t ask for anything more, right? Then why do I feel like there is still this void? When we are watching television and he’s sitting close to me, I feel the butterflies deep inside me. When he smiles at me for no reason, my heart skips a beat. I know I shouldn’t rush things. I know I’m the one who said we need to take things slow but dammit if I don’t daydream about this man pushing me down onto the couch and making my body feel good.
The truth is, I can count the amount of times I’ve had sex on one hand and they have all been with him. The only pleasure I’ve ever known has been at the hand of Marco or my own. But Marco, on the other hand, has been with a whole slew of women. Lots of hot, sexy women. There’s a reason why he ran from me all those times. Sure, he said he felt it was wrong, but if I was enough, if I was undeniable, unforgettable, wouldn’t he have had no choice but to stay? He was with that blonde bimbo, Janell, more than he was with me. What if I’m just not enough for a man like Marco?
A loud grunt knocks me out of my insecure inner monologue and I remember my parents are here. They pulled up at the same time I did to visit me for my birthday and to see Micaela.
“I didn’t realize we were having company,” Marco says. “I’m sure there’s enough for all of us.”
“Oh no! I have an idea,” my mom jumps in and says, “Why don’t we take Micaela for the night? Do you have some bottles you’ve pumped?”
“I do but are you sure? What if she wakes up and is scared I’m not there?” I begin to panic. My baby girl is only six weeks old.
“Bella, honey, I have raised a few kids. I will give her a bottle when she wakes up and you will be over first thing in the morning to pick her up. We can even do breakfast.”
“Is that ok with you?” I nervously ask Marco, silently hoping he will be the bad guy and say no.
“I’m sure she will be ok with your mom, Belles.” Damn traitor!
“Or we can stay and eat here,” my dad says dryly, earning him a smack in the chest from my mom. Marco secures Micaela into her car seat while I pack up her stuff, packing enough for a week when she will only be with them for roughly twelve hours, most of which she will be sleeping.
After giving our little girl kisses and reminding my parents of things like making sure her diaper is dry and which cry means what—like they didn’t parent three children—they leave out the door, taking my heart with them.
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
“What?” Marco laughs out loud, earning him a glare. “I’m sorry.” He wraps me up in a comforting hug, and gives me a chaste kiss on my forehead. “She will be fine and if you really can’t handle it, we will go get her. But for right now, let’s enjoy your birthday. You hungry?”
“I’m starved.” After Marco reheats the clam chowder and potatoes, we sit down and eat, watching There’s Something about Mary in a comfortable silence. After we both finish, he pauses the movie so we can clean up. Then he brings me out a couple of cupcakes, mine with a lit candle in the center.
“Happy Birthday, Belles. Make a wish.” The first wish that comes to mind is—well, I can’t say it out loud or it won’t come true. But let’s just say it involves the man standing in front of me smiling.
After we eat the sugary goodness, we move to the couch to continue the movie.
“Oh my god!” my hand comes to my mouth.
“What?”
“I haven’t seen this movie in years. I had no idea that stuff she sticks in her hair is… is…” Oh my god! How did I not know?
Marco laughs hysterically. “You didn’t know she uses his cum to do her hair?”
“I can’t believe my mom let me watch this movie!! This is so inappropriate! Micaela is never watching this movie.”
Marco continues to laugh. “You were so innocent. Shit, you still are.” For some reason, his comment rubs me the wrong way, reminding me that I’m nothing like the women he’s used to.
He must notice the sudden change in the mood because he says, “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being innocent. It’s a good thing.”
I know he isn’t saying this to hurt me but I bite out, “Just not what you were looking for, right?”
He looks at me incredulously, the movie suddenly forgotten. “Where is this coming from?”
“Well, it took like three different attempts before you actually had sex with me then you regretted it afterward, and the only reason why you even had sex with me again was because you were high. I mean, you didn’t even remember it. Meanwhile, you were with that blonde model looking chick for like ever. I was never enough to keep you like she was.”
Marco gives me a look indicating his confusion but I don’t care. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’ve been carrying those words and feelings around for too damn long. Marco stares at me for a minute, making me uneasy. Did I piss him off? Did I remind him of Janell? Shit! Does he still want Janell?
I open my mouth to say something—what I have no clue—when Marco stands from the couch and then leans down scooping me up into his arms, my legs instinctively wrapping around his back. Without saying a word, he looks at me while walking us to his bedroom. Then he sets me down on the bed, sitting in front of me, leaning in so close, his mouth is only inches from mine. I can smell the peppermint he must have popped into his mouth after having dessert. The mint reminds me of the days before everything went to shit. My eyes lock on the wall next to him, afraid of what he’s about to say.
“Look at me, Belles.” He grabs my chin gently and tugs it so I’m looking at him. “The day I met you I fell in love with you. I might have only been twelve at the time and it was a different kind of love, but I felt it. You were my best fucking friend. For that first year before Caleb and Hayley saved me, you were the bright part of my day.”
“But that’s….”
“No, you need to listen. At home, it was drugs and drinking and fuck, so much bad. Yes, I had Chloe but she was a baby and she cried and had needs that a twelve-year-old shouldn’t have had to take care of. But for those few hours when I was with you at the gym, sparring and laughing, they were everything to me.
“And then one day you grew up. You were still you, but you were more, so much more. And I knew I was well and truly fucked. And then we kissed and I knew it, I knew I could never go back to the way things were before that kiss. I had to leave before I fucked it all up.”
Marco leans in closer and gives me a soft kiss, his teeth grazing my bottom lip as he pulls away.
“The night we made love in the cabin, I knew I crossed a line. Your dad has always been so good to me, treated me like his own, and I never should have had sex with his daughter. It was wrong of me and it was a slap in your dad’s face.”
“We didn’t do anything wrong.” Even I can hear the frown in my voice.
“Hey, just because I said it wasn’t right, doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it or want it. Wanting you has never been the problem.”
“But being with Janell was right?” I blurt out.
“I thought doing the right thing meant staying away from you. And as far as Janell goes, she was my drug connection. I was in a bad place and she had no problem joining me there. I can’t take back what I did or how I acted. I hate myself for having sex with you and not being able to remember it but I’ve always wanted you. You are all I want.”
Marco grabs a hold of my hips and pulls me onto his lap, moving us up against his headboard. Straddling him with one leg on either side of him, I feel his dick twitch from under his shorts and my face heats up.
“See what I mean by innocent? You feel my cock poking you and your face turns the most beautiful shade of pink.”
“Yeah, like a little fucking girl.”
“That’s not what I meant. Have you seen your body?” Marco pulls my shirt over my head then expertly unsnaps my ugly nursing bra, taking it off. “You see these full, perky tits?” He gently holds them in his hands, his tongue darting out to lightly lick my pink nipple. I whimper at his touch. “These are all fucking woman, Belles.” He moves to my other one and licks the nipple.
Keeping my breasts in his hands, he places open mouthed kisses all over them leading up to my collarbone and neck, eliciting chills all over me. Then cupping my ass with one hand, he pulls me even closer to him, changing our positions so I am laying on my back with Marco hovering above me.
“This neck, all woman.” He sucks on the sensitive skin just below my ear for a second, causing me to let out an embarrassingly loud moan, before he works his way over to my face.
“These lips.” He sucks on my lower lip first, then my upper lip and then deepening the kiss, Marco’s tongue seeks out mine without needing an invitation, our tongues colliding with such force, it just about takes my breath away. Before I can bring my hands up to touch him, he pulls away. “Fuck, baby. These lips are all woman.”
I pout when he backs up further. “Don’t pout, baby.” He gives me a quick peck then pulls his shirt over his head. His body is perfection. I can’t even imagine how fucking hot he will look once he’s working out again. He sees me ogling him and gives me a knowing smirk before moving downwards.
He stops at my chest again and I think he’s going to give my breasts some more attention but instead he places a single kiss just above my left breast. “This heart, baby. How selfless you are. How much you give to those around you. The way you love our daughter. It’s all woman.”