In the time, it takes me to blink once, a hundred scenarios run through my head. In almost all of them I’m naked. Pure need aches inside my core as a shiver of lust licks my spine. The way Gabe is standing over me, his hulking frame eclipsing mine, his muscles almost as rigid and vein-streaked as his cock was last night. I’ve never felt this pooling heat in my belly before that seems to be spreading out, down from my belly button to my pussy. I want to give in to him. I want to feel a real man spread me open, fill me until I can’t take another inch and make me cum. I want to scream his name as my face contorts in pleasure like the woman I saw last night at the club. But I know it won’t happen.

It never has, and I’m not sure it ever will. My cheeks blaze again, but this time with embarrassment, as I wonder for probably the billionth time, if I’m some kind of freak or if I’m broken. Why can’t I even bring myself to climax? What is wrong with me? The last thing I need is to expose that secret to him. Sure, this is the first time I’ve ever felt such a primal desire for anyone, but I don’t think it would change whatever is fucked up inside of me.

“I mean, I was looking for someone like you and someone like the women I saw and just, I was looking to understand the whole scene,” I step back from Gabe, and break the spell we’ve both been under. The intolerable tension between us seems to shatter, like a rock being thrown through a window in a hot car, I feel like I can finally take a lungful of air as my woozy head settles and my wits return to me.

“Why?” He doesn’t step forward, instead the intense stare he just held me under follows me as I make more room between us.

“It’s for the movie,” I answer, pretending that there’s something out on the patio worth looking at. Anything to avoid the powerful, almost hypnotic state I feel when I look at him. “I’m playing a woman who is a nymphomaniac. She’s big into the sex club scene and it’s not a world I know anything about. I wanted to go see if I could understand the draw and maybe learn a bit about it so I can play her character convincingly,” I tell half the truth. Obviously, I’m leaving out the part about my own sexuality. How it’s stifled and I’m desperate to unlock it. How I hope that I can discover what’s holding me back through this role. How I don’t want to keep living a life where I hear so much about the amazing experiences people have with sex, like I am some kind of alien that can never truly understand.

“Interesting, so it’s all just for research then?” I don’t look back at him. I refuse to meet his eyes, knowing damned well that if I do, he will see right through me.

“That’s right,” I answer flatly. “You know, you’re right about me not being the kind of girl that goes to places like that,” I finally whirl around to face him, “but you looked like you fit right in there.” I feel a tinge of anger swirl inside me as it occurs to me exactly how comfortable he did look last night. Like he’s been going for years. Jealousy nips at my insides, how many women has he met there? How many has he fucked? I know it doesn’t make sense for me to care, but I do. I almost feel some strange sense of betrayal at the idea of him sliding his cock into some strange woman out on the dance floor. I can see it in my mind, and I hate it.

Gabe shrugs nonchalantly, “I’m not a stranger there, that’s for sure.”

“Well, if you do take this job, you can’t be bringing women back here. You’ve gotta keep that part of your life separate from working here,” I suddenly snap, the words dripping from my tongue like bile.

“Oh really?” His eyebrows shoot up and his eyes twinkle with amusement as he walks across the room to me.

“Really,” I reply, trying to sound less like a jilted lover and more like a professional.

“And what exactly are you going to offer me to compensate for those lost nights?” He presses his body into mine and I step backward, bumping into the wall. My heart is racing and my knees might not hold me up. Passion floods through me, making me feel braver and saucier than I’d ever be normally.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I look up at him from under my eyelashes, “what do you suggest?” The twinkle in his eye dissolves into something entirely different. It goes from an amused glint to a flash of hungry need.

“I can teach you everything you need to know for your movie, sweetheart,” he pins me to the wall with his hips and drags his thumb slowly over my jaw. I open my mouth, aching to suck on that thumb. Flames flicker inside me as my blood boils for him. I want more than just his thumb in my mouth, but that’s where I want to start.

“What do you think you can teach me?” I encourage him, pushing my hips slightly back against him, I can feel his erection forming as he grinds against me.

“I can teach you how to fuck, how to feel, how to be free,” he murmurs, his mouth hovering over mine. I can feel his breath billow over my skin and I close my eyes, ready to feel his lips on mine. That’s exactly what I want to learn. That’s exactly what I need.

Suddenly Fiona’s ringtone cuts through the tiny space between us like a knife. Gabe and I both jolt at the unexpected noise and I stand up straight as he moves back from me, his eyes never leaving my face.

“I need to take this,” my voice is hoarse.

Gabe nods curtly and strides across the room as I inwardly groan at the timing and answer my phone.

“Hello?”