I slowly circle my legs on the elliptical doing the laziest, least effective workout possible as I watch television and talk to Fiona with my hands-free all at the same time. Multi-tasking doesn’t let me focus on the pain, even when I’m explaining everything that happened to my agent.

“So, what you’re saying is Erik fucked this up for you too?” Fiona asks and I nod like she can see me.

“Yup, it’s so messed up. I feel like I’m just lost without him too, like the house seems too empty now. I miss him,” my heart tugs in my chest and I pedal faster, trying to outrun the pain. I know I’m going to regret this late-night chat tomorrow, but it’s not like I can just shut off my mind and go to sleep. My body craves his arms around me now. The bed feels empty without him.

“Do you love him?” Leave it to Fiona to cut right to the quick.

“I, uh, don’t know,” I lie, my heart knows the truth. I never would’ve believed I could fall for someone as quickly as I did for Gabe, but when two souls connect like we did, time doesn’t seem to matter all that much.

Or at least it didn’t. Now every hour without him stretches on like a month. I went from not noticing the days that slid by when he was by my side to being painfully aware of every second without him. It’s so hard to go from living with someone to nothing. I haven’t heard from him since he walked out of here, and time has slowly ticked by ever since.

“You don’t sound that unsure to me,” she presses me but I ignore her.

“You know it’s crazy, but I even miss his dog. Like, right now I can almost hear him barking,” I sigh.

“No, that’s not your imagination Vanessa, I hear a dog barking too,” she laughs at me.

“Oh,” I pull my headset off my ears and tilt my head, sure enough I can hear a dog outside my house somewhere.

Thud-thud-thud!

Wait, is someone at my door? I jump off the elliptical and my heart pounds in my chest, “Fiona, someone is here, I’ve gotta go!” I hang up my cell and rush to the door, “Coming!” I don’t use my sing-songy voice this time. Instead I sound desperate as I race across the floor. I yank the door open and my heart leaps in my throat as I look at Gabe and Axle standing on my front step.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s late,” Gabe runs his hand through his brown hair and looks down at me. “Can we talk?” He looks at me like there’s a chance I might say no.

’There isn’t.

“Yeah, of course. Come in, I was up anyway,” I move out of the way and they walk in as I close the door behind them. I have a million questions that I leave unasked on my tongue. I can see he’s struggling and I don’t want to watch him storm out of here again without hearing me out, so instead of asking him why he didn’t call me or answer my texts, I lead the way to the living room and plop down on the couch.

Gabe sits beside me and Axle lies down on the floor like he’s happy to be back.

I’m happy to have him back. Both of them.

Gabe looks down at his hands and I can smell the faint scent of alcohol. “Have you been drinking?”

“What? No, well, yeah, I was, but that was hours ago. I drove here from Vegas,” he looks tired as he meets my eyes.

“From Vegas? Like Las Vegas?” I look at the time on my phone.

“Is there another one?” His eyes look bleary as he watches me. “I made good time, it only took three hours, what I have to tell you, I didn’t want to do this on the phone,” his lips turn down and I study his face.

“I’m listening,” I put down my phone and ignore the fact that I’m supposed to get up to meet my trainer in less than five hours. I don’t care.

Gabe looks down at the floor and sighs, for a moment, I don’t think he’s going to talk at all. The silence between us is roaring like an ocean breaking in my ears.

“When I was in the SEALs,” his voice is little more than a whisper, but it makes me jump in my seat, “I had a stupid fucking nickname, Gabe the Babe,” he chuckles dryly. “And you know what, I was proud of that name. I wore that shit like a badge of honor because that’s who I was,” he stresses his words. “I was my looks. Period. I was shallow and vain and I didn’t give a fuck because I looked good and everyone knew it,” he balls up his fist and hits his hand wrapping his palm around it.

I slide my fingers over his hands and he looks up at me, like I pulled him from another time. He almost looks surprised to be sitting here. “Gabe, I didn’t mean to say…”

“Let me finish,” his voice creaks, “please.”

I nod and close my mouth, but I don’t move my hand from his.

“So, when this shit happened,” he moves his hand from under mine and sweeps it across his face, “I already told you my fiancé called it quits. And that stung, but it wasn’t the end of my world. It wasn’t until I was fully patched up and I got to go home and see my folks,” his chin quivers slightly and he breathes in a shaky breath. “See, when I was growing up, my mom was always bragging about me. You know, like every mom does, but her big thing was that I was her beautiful boy. She constantly said that, even when I was a teenager and it made me cringe, even before I left for my deployment. Anyway, when I came back she never said it anymore. I wasn’t her beautiful boy, just her broken boy. And it made me realize that if my own mother couldn’t see that in me anymore then it really was gone,” his voice chokes up.

“That’s not true,” I protest, but he holds up his hand and I bite my tongue.

“I was out with a SEAL buddy I served with tonight and he told me something, he said I make everything about my scars. Not other people, but me. And I realized it was true. When I saw you on TMZ denying you and I had anything, the first thing I thought of was that you were ashamed of how I look, because if my own mother couldn’t see any beauty in me anymore, how could you?” Gabe wipes the tears he’s been holding back from the corners of his eyes and looks at the ground.

I scoot closer to him and wrap my arms around him, letting him take the time he needs. Finally, Gabe opens his arms and pulls me into him and I feel like I’m home.

“Gabe, the reason I said that wasn’t because I was ashamed. Not at all,” I find it hard to talk around the lump growing in my throat. “It was because this town has a way of ruining every good thing for me. I didn’t want us to be under that kind of pressure, you know? I didn’t want it to be about them, I wanted you to myself. Just for me. Look at me,” I tenderly cup my hand on the side of his jaw and he looks at me with his red-rimmed eyes. “You are beautiful Gabe. When I look at you, I don’t see scars, I don’t care about them at all. I see you,” tears fall down my cheeks and he swipes his thumb over them.

“Vanessa, I love you,” he leans in until our foreheads are touching.

“I love you too,” I let myself admit the truth finally.

Gabe’s hands slide around my back and he pulls me into him tight, kissing me hard. I can feel the urgency, the pain, the longing and the sorrow in his kiss. I can feel the burden he’s carried all this time and I can feel his willingness to have a fresh start. Our tongues confide our deepest secrets as they dance together, telling each other much more than what we could ever express in words.

Suddenly Gabe stands up and holds out his hand to me, I clasp it and as I rise to my feet, he lifts me up and carries me. I rest my head against his broad chest, feeling safe in his arms. “I missed you,” I murmur, “I couldn’t sleep without you.”

“Well, I think we should get to bed,” he kisses my nose as he walks me down the hall to my room, “but I don’t know if I’m going to help with that sleep problem. Not until I’ve thoroughly worn you out,” he steps into my bedroom and lays me gently on the bed.