Nate
She’d come back to me. Though not in quite the way I’d hoped. But she was here now and she was safe. Tony had informed me that she’d said Romeo had hurt her. I’d somehow managed to stay calm as I’d cradled her close and carried her to my apartment. Numerous bruises covered her tender skin, indicating she’d taken a beating. A sudden rage consumed me, billowing from somewhere deep inside and spreading outward, washing over me with the force of a tsunami. I was going to kill that son-of-a-bitch. I was going to rip his fucking throat out. I’d never wanted to kill someone so badly before.
I put Alissa to bed, watching over her protectively for a moment, then went into the living room to let her rest. I wanted to stay close by in case she woke. In case she needed me. She slept for most of the day, so I just dozed off and on in my armchair and left her alone in my bed. I needed to assess her injuries, but right now she needed sleep and to let her mind recover from the horror of what she’d endured. I’d done a cursory inspection after settling her into the bed, and I didn’t believe any of her injuries were serious. After she woke, I would heal her wounds and relieve her pain.
I fixed myself a small snack, then watched some television, before returning to check on her later that evening.
Alissa was awake, staring up at the ceiling.
“Hey.” I smiled and approached.
Her gaze jerked to mine, and for a moment, incomprehension flared in her eyes. Confusion. Fear. Alissa had been in a fragile state of mind after her nightmare. I didn’t blame her. She’d been through so much. Intense trauma forced a person to cope in whatever way possible, and many people coped by letting their minds go to another place, which was what Alissa apparently had done. She’d had a few moments of clarity while I’d cuddled her against me on the bed earlier, but she’d mostly been out of it since.
She cringed away from me, her eyes wide. “Not telling,” she whispered. “I won’t tell you where he is.”
I was still amazed that she’d kept our hideout a secret even after the beating she’d obviously sustained. She was one tough cookie. Strong, brave, loyal. My admiration for her grew. Not many people would be able to keep the truth hidden after so much abuse. But she’d remained strong through it all.
I halted, not wanting to frighten her. “It’s me,” I murmured gently. “Nate. I’m not going to hurt you.”
She stared, blinked. Then, slowly, her eyes gradually cleared, and she relaxed. “Nate?”
Thank God. I’d been so worried about Alissa and how I might be able to help her deal with her trauma. Letting her sleep had been the best thing to do at first. Now that she was awake, there were other things I could do to help her. I could show her the dreg way of dealing with psychological trauma.
I stepped up to the bed and paused. “How are you feeling?”
She stared up at me, her bruised and swollen face an ugly reminder of what had been done to her. Then, slowly, she sat up all the way, leaning back against the headboard. She cleared her throat. “I’m sore.”
I sat on the edge of the bed. “I can heal your wounds for you, make the pain go away.”
“Okay,” she whispered. She remained still while I first healed a nasty cut on her arm, then cauterized it. She watched, wide-eyed, as a scab slowly appeared over the wound. Next, I gently pressed my hand against each of the bruises, healing each one and soothing the pain. It was a long process since she had so many bruises, but I didn’t mind. I would gladly expel huge amounts of energy for her. I don’t think there was anything I wouldn’t do for this woman.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” I asked gently.
“It was Romeo,” she whispered. She lowered her gaze, watching my hands as I gently healed her bruises. “I was coming back here to find you, to tell you I’d made a mistake in leaving.”
I swallowed hard, hope flaring in my chest. She had? My throat tightened with emotion. I wasn’t sure what to say, so I remained silent, waiting.
“I was walking toward the woods when a van came around the corner. It was Romeo and his thugs. They asked me where you were, and when I refused to tell them, they beat me, then tossed me into the woods and left.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my heart squeezing. “I want to kill that bastard.”
She placed a hand over mine. “It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I should have stayed with you, but if I learned anything from this, it’s that I want to be with you.” She lifted her gaze to mine. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
I stared into her eyes. “I’ll always take care of you.” Always.
Something passed between us in that moment. Something special. A bond. A connection of some kind. A mixing of souls. It shook me, nearly knocked me backward. Damn. I was so lost in this woman. I didn’t understand it. I would take care of her, I would risk my life for her. Again and again. Because she meant that much to me.
Finally, she nodded. “Thank you.”
I cleared my throat and went back to work on her bruises. Once I’d healed all the wounds on her torso and limbs, I gently touched each bruise on her face, one by one, taking my time. I felt the intensity of her gaze as I gently made my way over each bruise, unable to ignore how soft her skin felt beneath my fingers. Once, I let my gaze meet hers, and my heart went wild at the awareness in her eyes. Attraction sparked between us. I jerked my gaze away and concentrated on healing her and taking away all her pain. I hadn’t forgotten my promise to her that if she came back, then we would explore this connection between us. She’d come back much sooner than I’d expected. But right now wasn’t the time for that.
It would take a few hours for the blood to disburse from all the bruises, but in another day, no one would be able to tell she’d taken such a severe beating. I didn’t normally expend energy to erase bruises like this, as bruises always went away on their own. But for Alissa, I wanted to do this. She would feel a hell of a lot better about herself, and probably heal a lot faster psychologically, if she didn’t have to look in the mirror and see all those horrendous bruises as a painful reminder of what she’d gone through.
At last, I leaned back, having healed all the visible wounds. “How’s that?”
She smiled. “Much better. Thank you.” She hesitated, her gaze searching mine. “It’s okay that I came back here, right?”
“Yes. I want you here. Very much.” I did. I wanted to be with her. But there was a lot Alissa didn’t know about me or the other dregs. If this connection between us grew, and we became closer, I would have to tell her everything. The truth might frighten her away, but somehow, I didn’t think it would. Alissa was stronger than that. She’d just survived hell. She wouldn’t be scared away by the things I’d done or the monster I’d once been. There was still darkness inside me. Violence. And that was something I couldn’t change. Would she be able to understand that? Would she accept me for who I was?
I gently took her hand in mind. “I wish I could have prevented what happened to you tonight. It tears me upside knowing that they hurt you.”
She squeezed my hand. “I was the idiot who left you. I should have stayed.” She paused, her eyes filling with tears. “Like I said before, you’re a special guy, Nate. And I mean that. You’ve done so much for me. I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”
Her soft touch and her kind words made me overly aware of this rare connection between us. Heat crept into my face. For a moment, I was speechless. Her words made me feel so good I couldn’t think of anything to say.
“You can stay here as long as you need,” I blurted.
She lowered her gaze. “I keep coming to you as a victim. I’m sorry. How will I ever be anything more if that’s all I ever am?” Self-disgust coated her words.
“Hey.” I gently squeezed her hand. “Sometimes things just happen and there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“But I don’t want you to view me as a victim.” Her face turned bright red underneath the bruises. “I want you to see me as a woman.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Even though she had been a victim, I didn’t think of her as a victim. I thought of her as a brave, beautiful, strong woman. A woman I admired and respected, and was deeply attracted to.
A knock came at the outer door, so I was spared from having to respond. Leaving her in the bed, I went to answer the door.
Tony stood in the corridor, his gaze dark with worry. “She doing okay?”
“Yeah. She’s awake now. I think she’s going to be fine.”
He jerked his gaze behind me.
I turned as Alissa stepped up to the open doorway. She glanced at Tony, her gaze filling with wariness. Tony eyed her for a long moment without speaking, then jerked his head in a nod.
“I know you don’t like me, chica, and I’m still on the fence about you. How about we have it out in the ring?”
Her eyes widened. “What? Did you just ask me to fight you in the gym?”
“Yeah.” His lips twitched. “You’ve been through hell these past few days. You need a stress relief, a way to purge the demons from your soul. I can help you with that.”
She scoffed. “By fighting a man who’s twice my size? You’re crazy. I can’t fight you. I’m sure I can hit a punching bag and get the same result.”
Tony shook his head. “It’s not a punching bag you want to hit. It’s me. Admit it, chica. You’d love to kick my ass.”
She hesitated, her gaze darting to mine.
“He’s offering to be your punching bag,” I told her gently. “He won’t hurt you. It’s good therapy.”
“Why?” she whispered.
Tony turned away, confident that she would follow. “I’ll wait for you in the gym.”
She stared up at me after he’d gone. “Why would he do this?”
“He feels guilty about what happened to you. He blames himself. This is his way of saying he’s sorry, by letting you take it out on him.”
“But I don’t want to hit him.”
“Don’t think of it as hitting him. Just imagine he’s a punching bag, and focus all your anger, all your frustration and your emotions at that bag. I promise you can’t hurt him. And it’s good therapy. He wasn’t lying about that.”
Still, she hesitated. “Will you be there? Just in case?”
Just in case he hurts me.
Though she didn’t say that last sentence out loud, I heard it nonetheless. She was still afraid of Tony. This would be good for her. It would help her fight off the trauma she’d gone through, and it would also help her realize Tony wasn’t as bad as he seemed, and that he would never intentionally hurt her. They’d had a rocky start, their dislike and distrust of each other apparent from the beginning, and this was Tony’s way of apologizing. This would also help him with his guilt. I think deep down he liked her. He respected her. He just wanted her to discover how strong she really was.
“Yes,” I assured her. “I’ll be there. But you don’t have to worry. Tony won’t hit you back. He wants you to beat on him. It’s what he likes. He craves a good beating.”
She let out a soft snort. “Why doesn’t that surprise me? That man is strange.” She wrinkled her brow. “He still doesn’t like me, but at least he stopped calling me a whore.”
“You’re wrong,” I said. “He does like you. But I’m not going to try to convince you of that. If you want to fight him, come to the gym when you’re ready. We’ll be waiting there for you.”
I left, giving her time alone to think about it. If Alissa wanted to do this, we would support her. We would encourage her. We would be there for her. It would be good for her, in my opinion. It was how we’d all coped with our demons. It had worked for us.
But would it work for her?