Chapter Eight

Cole

 

Jimmy had been to my place before. He knew what it was like: tiny. My apartment was a closet with a kitchenette, but it was what I could afford. Still, I always felt a little apprehensive when I invited men here, lest they judge me. Jimmy had seen it all before, but he must have been looking at it in a different light now.

“Do you want anything?” I asked.

“What are you offering?” he asked, lips curled in a sensual smile.

My breath caught in my throat. “A hot drink? Or a cookie?”

“Do you think I’m actually Santa?”

“Well, I definitely want to sit on your lap.” The words were out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying. I was an experienced flirt, and it was instinct to say the dirty things that flickered into my mind in front of an eligible, sexy man.

Jimmy bit his lip, and my stomach did a flip. “Really?”

“Or I have some wine in the fridge.”

He nodded fervently. “Wine would be good.”

There was no reason for either of us to be anxious. I already knew his body. I knew that kissing the crease where his thigh met his groin would elicit a shiver from him. I knew that licking his collarbones would make him arch his back, and I knew that biting his neck would make him groan and pant.

I was getting horny just thinking about it. I hastily darted to the kitchen to fill two glasses with wine. Not enough to get us drunk, just enough to make us both relax. We needed it.

“So did you enjoy hanging out tonight?” I asked after a couple of sips.

“Honestly?” Jimmy took a sip of his wine. “I keep expecting someone to turn around and tell me that all this was a prank.”

“What do you mean, all this?”

“You know. Jimmymas. Everyone being so cool, and liking me, and-” Scarlet blush tinged his cheeks “And wow, I sound so sad right now, don’t I?”

“A little.” I took another sip of my own wine. “But you’ll see soon enough that it’s all good, Jimmy. Things are good. You don’t have to be sad.”

“And then there’s you.”

“What about me?”

“You… The way you’re acting like you want me.”

“I do want you.” I set my glass down on the table where it connected with a small clink.

“I don’t understand why.”

His words hung in the air for a moment. I couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want Jimmy. He was impossibly cute, out-of-this-world attractive. How could he not realize that? How could I have possibly given him the impression that I didn’t want him?

“Fuck, Jimmy-” My pulse raced. There was no way to say what I needed to say; I had to show him. I reached out and pulled him into another kiss, this one even more passionate than the one we shared after our date. His lips were hard and dominant, his tongue soft and silky. Heat flared where his hands touched me on my arms and across my back.

I pulled away to whisper in his ear. “Of course I fucking want you.”

He put his hand on my denim-clad thigh, and the veins there grew hot with desire, blood pooling towards my eager cock. “I want you too.” There was a sly smile on his face now, as he trailed his hand higher.

“I want you real bad,” I groaned. Maybe I hadn’t shown him that enough before, but this was my second chance. As he slipped his hand up my thigh, I leaned toward him and met his parted, wanting lips. It felt like fireworks were exploding all through my body. “I want you now.”

I lightly nipped at Jimmy’s throat, and he groaned in that way that made my cock throb with desire. I was rock hard by the time his fingers reached my dick. I was so sensitive, so aroused, that even through my jeans, the sensation made my body buckle.

He traced his finger slowly around the outline of my cock, driving me wild with sensation, so wild all I could do was bite breathlessly at his lips while he touched me.

With the temperatures so low outside, we were both far too covered up. I hadn’t seen Jimmy in anything other than heavy winter clothes in over a year. I was now consumed with the need to see that slender, pale body in all its glory, to make Jimmy bend over in front of me, and- I gasped as he palmed my cock through my pants.

I tore Jimmy’s tattered shirt off over his head, leaving him in just a light undershirt. He’d gained a bit of muscle since I’d last seen him. I looked him up and down appreciatively.

“Do you see something you like?” said Jimmy.

“Take off your pants and I definitely will.”

Jimmy’s eyes rolled back and he let out a little groan as he unbuckled his pants. I clumsily pulled mine off at the same time. I found myself unable to tear my eyes away from the sight of him undressing. Once his jeans were off, tight blue boxer briefs did nothing to conceal the outline of his impressive cock. His dick was smaller than mine, but it was thicker, and if memory served, he knew how to use it. I practically salivated at the thought of fucking him again, of sucking him, of watching his face contort when he came.

Jimmy’s undershirt came off shortly after his pants did. I tore off the rest of my clothes. Soon, we were both wearing nothing but our underwear.

Before I knew what was happening, we were kissing again, only now I was on my back and Jimmy was on top of me, taking control. He was usually so tentative and unsure of himself, I forgot how dominant he could be in the bedroom.

He pushed himself against me, and our cocks collided. I couldn’t bear even the thin barrier of underwear between us. Lust was taking me over, making it so that all I could feel was arousal. It tortured every cell of my body, making me feel like I was on the brink of exploding, even though I knew I could last longer.

I’d fucked Jimmy before, but I swore this was better than the last time. Maybe because we were making up for lost time. How could I have ever let him go?

I couldn’t reminisce over the past for long though, because Jimmy was slipping my underwear down. My cock popped out, tall and proud, and as usual, slightly leaning to the right.

Jimmy wet his lips in anticipation and flashed those beautiful eyes at me. They were so ice-blue, and his eyelashes so thick and dark, that it looked as though he artfully ringed them with eyeliner. But no, that was all natural. Jimmy Abbott was fucking beautiful.

All thoughts left my mind the moment his lips touched my cock. All I could feel was desire, sensation, and pleasure — so much pleasure I wondered how I could bear it.

“I should be doing more for you,” I groaned, trying to sit up, but Jimmy sucked me deeper.

“You’re doing plenty just by moaning like that,” he said.

I couldn’t do anything other than writhe in pleasure as he sucked me eagerly up and down. My hands gravitated to the back of his head so that I could feel him bobbing on my shaft, taking me so deep he gagged.

I loved fucking this man’s mouth. The guttural little moans he made as he choked on my dick vibrated up into my balls and made me whimper in response. I knew that the sounds I was making were small and feeble, strangled with desire, but I didn’t care how vulnerable I seemed to Jimmy. I was vulnerable to him.

I held his head in my hands and maintained eye contact as my shaft slipped between his lips. Saliva dripped out of the corners of his mouths, landing sloppy and wet on my balls. I was so close. I couldn’t hold off if he kept doing this. He was fucking incredible with his mouth.

“Jimmy, I-” My voice broke.

He pulled off my dick with a small, wet pop. “You what?” he said, jerking my cock with slow, easy strokes. “You’re gonna come?”

Maybe it was the way his palm slid over the head of my cock just then, or maybe it was the lecherous sparkle in his eye, but that did it for me.

I couldn’t help but cry out as I came, thrusting wildly into his hand. This orgasm was white-hot. It took me to the highest height possible, and then it pushed me off the ledge into ecstasy. In the moment, it felt like it would last forever, racking me with pleasure until I literally died from the exertion of it.

But not even a blowjob from Jimmy could kill me, which was good because I wanted a lot more than one of them in my future. Panting and spent, I reached for his cock, but he stopped me. “I came while I was sucking you off,” he confessed.

I groaned, arousal flooding my groin with heat again. “You’re so fucking hot.”

 

***

 

After a shower to clean ourselves off — and to get dirty again, as the case happened to be — Jimmy and I found ourselves gravitating toward the bedroom.

We were both still naked from the shower. Rivulets of water trailed down the back of my neck from my hair. I tumbled into my bed, grabbing Jimmy by the waist so he tumbled down with me.

We landed on a pile of dirty clothes I’d been meaning to put in the wash. His sparkling eyes locked on mine as the damp skin between us locked our legs together like glue. I lay on my back, and Jimmy snuggled against my side, his still semi-hard dick pasted against my leg. Despite being totally nude and unbelievably attracted to each other, there wasn’t much sexual about this position. I didn’t necessarily want to fuck him right now. I wanted to have him close to me.

I wrapped both my arms around his slender shoulders, and he made a noise of happy contentment, squeezing where his arm rested over my belly, and making me tingle with happiness. Jimmy was like a warm drink on an icy day and a fresh glass of water in the middle of summer at the same time. He quenched me.

I loved my new friends and my new job. I loved my new life in the heart of the queer community. But no one else understood me the way Jimmy did. My friends knew where they wanted their lives to go, but I was still torn up over whether I wanted to drop out of college to be a barista or if I wanted to keep studying English. Meanwhile, Jimmy was flitting from temporary job to temporary job, just as unstable. We got each other.

“Why’d you leave?” asked Jimmy suddenly, interrupting my thoughts.

“Wait, what? I’m right here.” I pressed a kiss against his damp curls.

“No.” He tugged himself up onto his elbows, and I immediately missed the warmth of his body against my torso. “I mean last year. Why’d you ghost on me like that?”

I hung my head. I should have known this question was coming, but the answer was too embarrassing. I knew that Jimmy could be angsty himself sometimes, but he had reason to be. My answer would seem so extra. But he was looking at me with pleading eyes, his eyebrows pinched up in the center of his face. I couldn’t say no.

“The thing is, I was starting to really like you. And I didn’t want to.”

Jimmy ducked his head. “Like… Like like me?” He peeked back up at me, a cheeky smile on his lips. “Are you saying you had a crush on me, Cole?”

I grinned despite myself and pulled him into another hug against me. “Yes. I had a big, fat crush on you.”

“And do you still have a crush on me?”

“I thought that was evident.”

“I just wanted to make sure.”

Jimmy trailed his fingers over the bird skeleton on my shoulder. When people asked me why I got my tattoo, I said, “Because I like the way it looks.”

Now I was thinking a good answer would be, “Because when Jimmy touches me there, I’m in heaven.”

“I love the holiday season,” I said, tugging him closer to me as I pulled my down comforter up the bed to cover us. The air was starting to chill to the point that my poor heater couldn’t keep up. The moisture that lingered after our shower attracted the cold to my skin. “Winter is so great for cuddling.”

I’d never, ever been this saccharine before, but I was giddy with holiday cheer, and I was still bathing in the afterglow of endorphins from what Jimmy and I had been doing all night.

“I’ve never had a good December before,” confessed Jimmy softly, his breath a soft breeze over my nipple.

“How is that possible? Even with a shitty family, you must have enjoyed making snowmen and eating Christmas pudding.”

“Ugh. Christmas pudding is disgusting.” Jimmy made a face. “I was an only child. Making snowmen wasn’t that fun on my own.”

I was an only child too, but Dad and I always made our snowmen together. “Your parents didn’t do anything like that with you?” I hated how disbelieving I sounded. I needed to change the subject quick.

“On Christmas day, we went to Church, we prayed, we ate together, my parents ranted about the liberal homosexual agenda, and then I played Christmas carols on the violin so they could show off my talent to our extended family. I don’t think a snowman would have been so impressive.”

“No wonder you’re a Grinch.”

“Tell me about it.” He grinned.

“I didn’t know you played the violin.”

“My parents threw a tantrum when I gave it up to play guitar.”

“This year will be different,” I said. I kissed him hard on the lips. “I haven’t ever had a bad December, and this month, you’re stuck with me.”

Jimmy’s face clouded for a moment. “If you say so.”

“I promise, Jimmymas will be amazing.”

“I usually wouldn’t believe that. But everyone at the cafe- Are they really as nice as they seem?”

“They have their share of drama,” I said. “They’re not perfect. But they want to make people happy. That’s why I like them. I want to make people happy, too. They want to provide a family to people who don’t have one-”

“People like me.”

“And it’s admirable. And I want to be part of it. I happened to be born with a good biological family, but not everyone has that. And it’s not fair, that so many people just like me had the totally opposite experience.”

“You know what’s silly?” Jimmy said.

“Your hair right now?”

He laughed. We had both started drying off while we were lying down. Now the front of his hair was starting to stick up like a rooster’s crown.

“I’m sure I look hilarious, but no. What’s silly is I actually have hope, for the first time. How lame is that?”

“It’s not lame at all.”

“But it’s because of people I don't know! I’m not even a valued customer.”

“You’re a valued member of our community. That’s all that matters.”

Jimmy stayed silent a beat. “Why are they like that?” he asked quietly.

I shrugged. “They’re nice people. And they see being nice as a political statement. Dean once said that being kind to marginalized people is an act of protest against capitalism.”

“I’ve only met Dean once, but that definitely sounds like something he would say.”

I chuckled. Dean was pretty in-your-face, but he was like that in a good way. He was what some people would derisively call a “social justice warrior” on the internet, but we all agreed… What was wrong with fighting for justice? What was wrong with being spitefully kind to everyone around you?

“We’re going to give you a good Jimmymas this year,” I said to Jimmy, hoping he could see the sincerity in my eyes and hear it in my voice.

“I hope so,” he said. He wiggled against me. “Just don’t ghost on me again.”

“I won’t,” I promised. I wasn’t going to run away from my feelings this time.