16. Heidi
I had butterflies in my stomach the entire ride to the far side of Austin, where Logan’s family had a ranch by the lake. He told me stories about the terrible pranks he and his brothers played on each other, like the time he nearly drowned as a kid because his brothers convinced him the Lady in the Lake from his King Arthur stories would save him if he swam out to the middle of the lake and dove to the bottom.
“I really wanted Excalibur, Heidi. I can’t even begin to tell you how stupid I was over those myths,” he’d confessed.
I smiled again, thinking about the longing in his voice. I half believed he still believed Excalibur was out there somewhere.
“Is that when you decided to become a world-traveler, Logan? When you realized that Excalibur wasn’t on American soil?”
“Oh, God. It probably was,” he laughed. “I loved to read, and when I first looked through the lens of a camera, I felt like I was making stories of my own for the first time.”
I tried to think about any time I’d felt like I was living my life as the author, instead of the princess caught in a tower, waiting to be saved. I couldn’t remember a single time I’d felt completely in charge of myself, until I found myself naked with Logan.
“I want to be on top,” I announced abruptly in the silence. Logan shot furtive glances at me out of the corner of his eye, and I smacked his arm. “Not right this second; I just want to be in charge.”
“I have never agreed with anything you’ve said more than I do this very second,” he agreed. The look in his eyes was becoming familiar to me. As his eyes grew dark and possessive, I felt my body respond to him with a burning heat I’d never thought possible.
I clenched my thighs together and stared out the window at the passing scenery. There was a fragrance in the air of gardenia and early summer. I rolled down the window and let the air push against my face. The trees that bent over the country road that led up the hill to the lakeside ranch rustled and spoke in leafy whispers. It was greener up in the hills than I thought it would be, likely from the shelter of the mountains around the land and the nearby lake and streams.
The road turned to gravel, and my heartbeat jumped. The trees on the west side of the dirt road were backlit by the late afternoon sun as it moved to the mountain tops. The dust rose from the ground, and I closed the window when I tasted the metallic dry film of it in my mouth.
“Will they like me? Your family, I mean,” I asked as he slowed the truck down a little more and wound his way around a couple of deeper potholes.
“Yes, they will. You’ll know that they really like you if they warn you away from me.” He snickered, and I rolled my eyes. I hadn’t had anyone take me home to meet their family. Not since elementary school, before the cancer treatments had completely taken over my life and I was first homeschooled.
I didn’t ask any more questions, just watched as a wide arch appeared ahead of in the road. Lago Colina it read in tall iron letters. Lake Hill. But why in Spanish? Hargrave wasn’t a Spanish name. But I glanced at Logan’s dark hair and well-tanned skin, and it made sense that it was in their blood somewhere.
He pulled his truck around the circular drive, passing the house completely and parking across the circle, near a four-doored garage. I could hear dogs barking and yapping before he opened the door, and I decided to wait for him to open my door so that the animals I could hear yipping and begging for his love might settle down before they got to me.
Then my door opened, and a sweet little creature with soft, curly hair and intelligent eyes put her paws on the footboard and stared up at me. Instantly, my heart was lost to her, and I gasped and froze, afraid I’d hurt her if I jumped down. Logan let out a bark of surprised laughter that got the whole pack of canines going again. He helped me down and picked up the puppy, slipping her into my arms.
“Callie says this little girl lost her home just days after her owner purchased her,” he said, rubbing the cotton candy fluff between her ears. “Poor lady had a heart attack or stroke or something.” He shrugged and dropped a kiss on her curly forehead before turning back toward the house.
“I shouldn’t be holding her,” I groused. “I’ll just fall in love, and the next thing I know, I’ll be potty training a… What kind of dog is this?” I asked, glancing down at the lamb-puppy.
“Bedlington terrier. With a ‘D.’ Cute, right?” Logan chuckled and took her from me so she wouldn’t get mobbed and bowled over by the bigger dogs.
“Yeah, she’s very sweet. I can’t do this though. I hope your sister-in-law didn’t bring her up here to send her home with me.” I couldn’t stop glancing over at the little curly-haired puff ball, who was watching me with serious eyes.
“I have every bit of faith that’s exactly what she has in mind for you, but as for bringing her tonight, well, she’s got a little separation anxiety; don’t you?” he asked in a much softer voice as he looked down at her.
In reply, she flicked her tiny pink tongue over the end of his nose.
“I don’t think I can do this.” I felt a swift stab of guilt as I blurted out the words, but Logan just kept talking to the puppy in his arms. “Did you hear me?” I hated the tremble of fear in my voice.
“I heard you. I thought I’d help you out by pretending I didn’t. You’re going to be fine. It’s just dinner, and you already know a couple of people here. You’ve braved so much in your life. Now wouldn’t be a good time to try cowardice on for size.” He nuzzled the puppy and handed her back to me. “Go on, take her. If you’re holding the dog, no one can hug you against your will.”
I felt my face get warm and knew I was beet red. I took the little girl out of his hands and marveled at how silky and wooly she was. She wriggled in my arms until she was upright and could rest her soft face on my shoulder and let out a little sigh. I felt my heart melting out of my ribcage and cursed Callie in my head. There was no way I was letting anyone else take my new baby home.
“You dumb dog,” I sniffled into the top of her head. When I looked up again, Logan and I were alone. I breathed in the cool evening air and finally got to take in the scenery. The farmhouse was big enough to be a mansion, but the brick and rough-hewn timber exterior was too warm and homey for me to call it that. The veranda ran the full length of the front and was deep enough to fit chairs and a big porch swing with what looked to be a covered twin mattress for its seat cushion.
There were sounds of laughter in the distance, but here in the driveway, the sounds of birds and crickets were louder. The sounds of nature around me were as familiar as when I was out in the woods all alone, and I felt the power and healing of the land flowing all around me, like warm water lapping at my ankles.
Logan’s eyes told me that he felt it, too. It was easy to understand why he always returned to his family home, despite how many times he ran away from it. I didn’t bother to put what I felt into words for him; I just moved closer to him, so I could add the scent of his cologne and his skin to the memory I was making.
“Still feel like you don’t want to stick around for dinner?” Logan’s voice was light, but something told me that my answer mattered more than he wanted to let on.
“This is a good place, Logan. You know that?”
He chuckled and tilted his head to the side. “As a matter of fact, that happens to be why you’re here. Trust me; I know nothing kills new romance like rushing a girl to meet your parents before you even know what your relationship is.” He sighed and gestured toward the voices in the distance.
“Something amazing is being grilled back there. It would be rude not to go eat.” I chewed my lip and stared up at the windows of the second floor.
“You’re stalling,” he said, reaching out to brush hair off my shoulder.
“I’m appreciating,” I countered, but my arms were getting tired from holding the puppy, and I knew I needed to sit soon. I took a step toward the veranda, and my legs felt too weak to continue. “I’m sorry, can you take this little one? She’s actually getting heavy.” I laughed it off, but my heart was racing as the recent twinge in my back returned.
Logan gave me a long, hard look of concern, but took the puppy from me and held her in one hand while he offered me his other arm. I raised an eyebrow, but accepted it and let him escort me to a seat before my legs gave out.
“Are we going to talk about this?” he asked once we were sitting.
“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. I just feel tired. Maybe I’m not getting enough sleep or something,” I teased.
“Yes, that’s the second time that you’ve blamed sex for something going wrong with your body.” His voice was gravelly and tight with anger.
“Logan, you’re talking about two totally separate and unrelated sensations. I’m sorry I joked about sex hurting me. That’s not how I meant it. I just mean I’m not used to it. That was thoughtless of me.”
“Please, just tell me you’ll go to a doctor?” He wasn’t meeting my eyes, just staring off at the trees across the driveway.
“Would you be saying that if I hadn’t had cancer?” I felt anger and fear racing through my veins like the chemo drugs had so many times.
“Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know. But you’re young and fit and take care of yourself. Aren’t you a little worried?” He finally looked into my face as he asked me how I felt, and the anger and hurt slipped away at the concern so clearly written in his eyes.
“Yes. I’m a little worried. But I can’t live my life in fear, can I?” I reached out and ran my fingers through the puppy’s fur.
“I’m a little afraid for you,” he admitted, and I breathed deeply. It wasn’t fair to ask him to stick around, but I also knew he wouldn’t want to raise questions with his family about why I’d left without being properly introduced.
“I think I can walk on my own, so why don’t we head on back and get some food in you?” I still felt weak and shaky, but I would’ve walked across burning coals to prove to him that he didn’t have to worry about me. I looked out over the rustic railing across the large circular driveway to a large path bordered by several small cabins. “Tell me, who lives there?” I pointed to the buildings.
He chuckled. “All of us at some point or other. But always the ranch hands and cowpokes. This ranch wouldn’t run without the men who work here, and my parents and brothers see to it that they know they’re family.”
“Good to hear you remember where you come from, Logan.”
I turned to see what had to be the second most beautiful man in the entire world, after Logan himself.
He turned a high-wattage smile on me and winked, stretching out his hand. “I’m Danny Hargrave, Logan’s older brother. It’s good to meet you.”