CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
the cops threw me in the cell, the first thing I thought of was Brooke. I needed her to come bail me out and I needed to see her face. I needed her help in finding out what I was being accused of and why I was taking the fall for something I clearly hadn't done.
I knew it would be hours before they'd let me see my lawyer, so I sat down on the metal bench and slid back so that I was leaning against the cement wall. I surveyed my cellmates to make sure I wasn't being set up, and once I was sure that the drunk in the corner presented no threat, I let my mind wander back to Brooke and her warm body. There was something about her that was unlike any other woman I'd ever met. She was strong, smart, and not easily intimidated. I needed her in my corner to fight this charge, but I knew it was more than that.
I needed Brooke, the woman. My thoughts quickly shifted to the memory of her soft, warm body pressed against mine and the look on her face as she climaxed in my arms. She was unique in that her tough exterior hid a soft interior that she didn't seem to show many people. Her layers of defense were as strong and solid as my own, but she had a softness that I both envied and wanted. In my arms, she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and out of them, she was tougher than nails. I needed her.
The problem now was that when she showed up to defend me, I was going to have to tell her the truth and I wasn't sure that she could take it. She had no idea what I really did for a living, and I wasn't entirely sure that after she learned the truth, she would want to have anything more to do with me. I knew she'd take my case and fight for justice, but at what price?
I needed someone as smart and stubborn as Lydia had been. But as I turned the case over in my head, I couldn't see how Brooke would want anything more than a lawyer-client relationship with me once she learned the truth. I ran my hand through my hair and rubbed the stubble on my chin as I turned it over and over in my mind, but was unable to come up with any good outcome.
"Motherfucker! You son of a bitch! I'm going to kill you!" screamed a voice that sounded like its owner was being dragged down the hall to the holding cell. "Screw you all! Fuckers!"
I looked up just in time to see two officers unlocking the cell door and tossing my brother inside. I took one look at him lying on the floor throwing a fit and knew he was high.
"Get the fuck up and stop acting like a little bitch, Beck," I growled. His head snapped up, eyes wide with a haunted look around the edges.
"Dax?" he whispered. "Is that you or am I hallucinating?"
"No, it's me, you dumbass," I said as I stood up and offered my hand. "Get up off the damn floor, you junkie."
"Dax, they're killing me," he whispered as he took my hand and I pulled him to his feet.
"No, they're not killing you, little brother," I said shaking my head slowly. "You're doing a fine job all by yourself."
"You're one of them," he said as he narrowed his eyes and looked me over. "You're on their side. You're going to kill me for them."
"Beck, quit being a total idiot and listen to me," I said in an exasperated tone. I'd had enough of his junkie drama and I wanted him to stop. "You're high as a kite. Where did you get the stuff?"
"I'm not telling you," he pouted. "You'll kill my source."
"Listen, you little dumbass," I said as I moved my face within inches of my brother's. "I want to know right fucking now where you got the drugs. Your two choices are tell me or don't tell me. But I will warn you that if you don't tell me, I will wipe the floor with your ass."
"Fuck you," he spit at me as he turned toward the wall. I grabbed him and with one hand, spun him back around so he was facing me. Then, I grabbed a handful of his shirt and twisted it so that I could pull his face toward mine.
"Beck, this is your last chance, brother," I warned. "You tell me where you got your stash or I am going to pound your ass into a pulp and leave you here to rot in this cell."
He stared at me through stoned eyes and tried to process what I was saying. I could see the wheels turning and, after a minute of silent staring, he finally opened his mouth and spoke. "You're not going to like it."
"Tell me anyway," I said unamused.
"I got the stuff from Riza," he said.
"You fucking liar," I said through clenched teeth. "Lie about anything, but don't you dare fucking lie about her."
"I told you that you wouldn't like it." He shrugged with a lopsided smile. Then, with a serious look, he asked, "Are you gonna kill me now?"
"Beck, why would Riza give you drugs?" I asked. If he was going to lie, I wanted to follow the lie to its logical conclusion.
"Because I asked," he said matter-of-factly.
"Bullshit," I said as I gripped his shirt tighter. "She knows better than to give you drugs. Why are you lying?"
"I'm not lying, Dax," he said, in a voice that immediately slammed me back into the past. A store owner on San Pedro had accused Beck of stealing candy bars. And when I'd found Beck cowering in the back storage area of our grandmother's store, crying as he held a bag of frozen vegetables on the spot on his face where the shop owner had hit him, I yelled at him for stealing. He'd looked at me that same way he was looking at me now and swore that he wasn't lying. I hadn't believed him at the time, but later, when I'd investigated the incident, I found out that he had been telling the truth. The storeowner had wrongly accused and punished him for a crime he didn't commit. From that day on, I vowed to believe my brother when he told me he wasn't lying.
I had to remind myself that this wasn't a sober Beck. This was the Beck who was shooting up and who would do anything for a fix. This was junkie Beck talking, so I wasn't entirely sure if I should believe him, even though I wanted to. I pulled him over to the bench and propped him up against the wall.
"Just sit there until the lawyer gets here," I ordered.
"Why you always gotta be so bossy?" Beck asked as he leaned against the wall lost in his high.
"Because I'm your older brother," I said gruffly. "That's what I do."
"That's good," he smiled as he slipped into his chemically altered mind.
I stood watch over him until the officer came and told me my lawyer was here to see me. I took a deep breath and steeled myself as I prepared to tell Brooke the truth.