Raegan

I flip onto my stomach in bed, staring out the window, as the sun peeks through the blinds.

When Jax left yesterday, I snuck off to my room and pretended to be asleep. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with Arya’s questions.

I wanted a chance to digest everything that had happened yesterday. The only conclusion I came to was I was fucked.

When Jax had kissed me, it was magic. I hadn’t seen fireworks. I had seen stars shooting across the sky.

But I’m not stupid enough to think it meant anything to him. I know what he was doing. He was proving a point to Travis because there’s no way he felt the earth shift under his feet like I did.

I groan, slapping the bed, and Stella whimpers from the end of the bed.

“I’d give up everything for you.”

I hate how when he said those words I felt like it was true. Hell, I wanted it to be true. But why? Am I trying to replace Travis? Am I one of those women who needs a guy to feel complete?

I close my eyes, exhaling before I open them again. No, I don’t need a guy to feel complete, but for some reason, Jax makes me feel like myself again.

I wish I could despise him as much as I did when I first met him, but I don’t. He’s turning into something more. Friend? Fling? I don’t really know. We’re in this gray area, and I detest feeling like a jumbled mess over a guy I barely know.

I remember when I first met Travis. I was head over heels for him, but it’s different with Jax. Then I think of the person Travis turned into the longer we were together, and I feel like that’s exactly who Jax is.

Travis and Jax—I could compare them all day long. They both sleep with anything that walks and think they are better than the person standing next to them. With their boyish looks and innocent smiles, each of them was able to captivate me from the moment I met them.

I laugh to myself. At least I know I have a type.

Stella paws at my leg, and I shift on the bed, pulling her up my body and resting her next to my head. She licks my face as I pet her soft black fur.

Travis didn’t call me when we left his house yesterday, and I’m a little surprised because I took Stella. But I don’t think he’ll be a problem anymore. He doesn’t care about her, and I can see now that he never cared about me.

“What do you think about Jax?” I ask Stella.

She tilts her head, watching me with her dark brown eyes.

“Yeah, I don’t know either.” I rub her giant ears. “I think he might be a good guy, but I don’t trust my judgment anymore.”

She barks, jumping up and down, causing my head to jostle on the pillow. I laugh at her as I slip out of bed.

“You’re just agreeing with me because he helped me get you back.”

She barks louder, and I pick her up off the bed to quiet her, so she doesn’t wake Arya. Stella licks my face before I place her on the floor.

But maybe he really is different. He’s shown me that he isn’t who I thought he was. He stood up for me more than once when Travis was treating me like a dead bug under his shoe. He walked me home from the drive-in movie when he could have left me behind, like Nathan did. So, maybe Jax isn’t as bad as I thought he was.

Stripping out of my sleep shorts and oversize shirt, I throw on a pair of yoga pants, a sports bra, and a long-sleeved shirt.

I head out of my room, Stella running behind me, and jog down the stairs.

I swipe Stella’s black leash out of the closet next to the front door and clip it on the hot-pink collar Arya bought for her.

“Let’s go for a run,” I say, beaming, thankful to have my running partner back.

I scratch behind her ear before I stand and open the front door, heading outside.

Stella never meant as much to Travis as she did to me.

The first week we had her, whenever she cried in the middle of the night, he would find her to be an annoyance, and he never showed any interest toward her. It’s a wonder why he let me adopt her in the first place.

I, on the other hand, treated her like a newborn baby, giving her everything and anything I could. When I was crate-training her, I would sleep next to her on the floor at night to soothe some of her cries. Most nights, when I ate dinner on the couch—alone—I would feed her from my plate.

She owns every part of me, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Stepping onto the sidewalk, Stella wags her tail.

“Come on.” I nod my head. My feet pound against the pavement as I break into a run. Each movement brings me closer to peace, the farther I move away from the house.

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

I look down at Stella panting next to me with her tongue hanging out of her mouth. I smile at her as her short, little legs work twice as hard to keep up with me.

The crisp fall air fills my lungs and pushes me faster as the red and orange leaves crunch under my feet. On the opposite side of the road is dying grass that spans as far as I can see, but the side we are running on is lined with houses—most of them occupied by college students since campus is so close.

Stella barks wildly to the left of me, yanking my arm as she tries to sprint across the grass, toward one of the houses on the right. I get tangled up in her leash as she runs between my legs, trying to coax me to let her loose.

I attempt to disentangle myself from her, but I trip over Stella and the leash, falling on the cement and losing my grip on her leash. My forearm stings as it skids across the sidewalk, catching my fall before my face hits the ground.

“Damn it,” I hiss, turning over and sitting on my butt as I unwrap the leash from around my feet.

As soon as I unravel it, Stella darts across several lawns, barking, running toward one of the houses.

I curse under my breath, watching her small form zip across the grass.

“Stella!” I yell, pushing to my feet, ignoring the burn on my right forearm as I run after her.

She sprints up the driveway of one of the houses, not stopping until she reaches the person sitting on the steps. I squint, trying to make out the person, but I can’t decipher who it is.

I run down the sidewalk and through the lawn of the house she ran up to.

When I catch up with her, Stella is jumping on Jax’s legs. He’s sitting on cement steps, leading to what I assume is his house. He rubs her back with Walker panting next to him.

Of course she was running to him and away from me. I think he might have stolen her heart yesterday.

I stop in front of them, snatching Stella’s leash off the ground. “Do all females flock to you?”

He stands from the steps and angles his body closer to me. “It’s not my fault she was trying to get away from you,” he jabs, running a hand through his short brown hair.

Walker barks, trotting down the stairs and pawing at my leg. Bending down, I pet him as I glare at Jax. Walker moves away when he’s satisfied, lying in the grass where a tree provides him with shade from the morning sun.

“What happened to you?” Jax questions.

Lifting my hand to my hair, I push the stray strands away from my face. I notice the sleeve of my shirt is covered in dirt, and I bring my arm down, wiping away the remnants of my fall.

“You,” I say, scowling.

Stella tugs on her leash, and I follow the length of it with my eyes until I see my dog jumping on Walker. She attempts to lie on him as he lounges in the grass, ignoring my rambunctious dog. I shake my head at her.

“Me?” he balks, shifting my attention back to him. “I didn’t do anything.”

I scoff. “I fell because Stella saw you sitting here.”

He throws his hands up in surrender. “She came running up to me. I didn’t call her over.”

“Ugh,” I groan, not in the mood to deal with him.

I let my irritation shine through, not wanting Jax to know the feelings starting to bubble inside me. He has a weird effect on me. Either he’s pissing me off or leaving my head foggy from his sweet gestures.

I turn away from him to collect Stella since she doesn’t seem to want to leave Walker’s side. Leaning over, I remove her from Walker’s back. One of her claws breaks through the fabric of my shirt, and I hiss from the sting that shoots up my arm.

“What’s wrong?” Jax bends down at his waist, his face inches from mine.

I place Stella on her feet at my side, and I straighten up, soothing my forearm with my hand. “It’s nothing.”

He removes my hand and slides the sleeve of my shirt up my forearm, revealing a road rash tinged with blood. “It doesn’t look like nothing.”

He inspects the wound closer, and I mash my lips together to keep my breath from hitching when his thumb runs around the scrape.

His hand travels the length of my forearm, leaving goose bumps in his wake that I’d rather blame on the chill in the air. “Make sure you clean it when you get home. You don’t want it to get infected.”

He lowers my arm back to my side and looks over the rest of my body. I’m a hot mess, but he doesn’t say anything about it. He pulls a few leaves out of my hair that I had no idea were there, causing my face to heat in embarrassment. The leaves float to the ground as he drops them before moving on to what I assume is dirt on my face. He brushes it away, but his finger lingers, trailing from my cheek until his hand is cupped on the back of my neck.

He leans in as my pulse pounds behind the weight of his hand. He stops a breath away from my ear, whispering, “You can’t tell me you didn’t feel anything when I kissed you because I felt it in every nerve of my body.”

His nose grazes my neck, and an involuntary whimper escapes my mouth.

He pulls me closer, looking me in the eyes, before sealing our lips together for the second time. There’s no one around to make jealous. No one around to stare, except for the two dogs sitting by a tree.

I forget all the reasons I shouldn’t be kissing him because kissing him is as easy as breathing.

He pushes me backward until I land against the side of the house, but I don’t complain. My arms wrap around his neck, and my fingers tangle in the hair on the nape of his neck. He leans into me, melding our bodies together.

One of his hands roams down the side of my body, never venturing further than my hips, making every hair on my body stand on end through my thin clothes.

I’ve never felt this need, this attraction, for someone else. When I first met Travis, he didn’t have half of the allure that Jax has over me.

My body begs to be closer to Jax. I wish I could crawl inside him and live there forever.

I wrap my right leg around his waist, pushing myself harder against the house as I pull him tighter against me.

His hand on my neck moves to the side of my face, fusing our mouths closer together. Our tongues tangle, consuming my entire body and mind.

The world floats away, teleporting me to a time when I wasn’t a girl who was screwed over by a guy exactly like Jax. My heart beats erratically for the man attached to my body.

If I had never kissed Jax Andrews, my body would know. My heart would know I was missing something in life. He’s a force I can’t compete with. A force that encloses me, not letting me dare to think of anything other than him.

Bang!

A car backfires on the street, wrenching us away from each other.

His gaze shifts over his shoulder as he grips my waist, and I take in his swollen lips.

How could I have let this happen?

I can’t sink into Jax’s world. I won’t let him swallow me whole, no matter how much my body wants to give in to the guy with alluring gray eyes.

I need space.

I hear the car drive away, and Jax looks back at me. He leans his head down to reconnect with my mouth, but I push him away, putting a mountain between us. He stumbles back, his shoulders slouching, as he frowns, which catches me by surprise, but I ignore it. I drop my eyes from his gorgeous face before I can latch on to him again.

“Stella, let’s go.” I leave Jax and Walker standing next to the house without so much as a glance back in their direction.

Stella whimpers as we jog away, but I disregard her pleas as we head closer to home and away from the flashing warning sign hanging over Jax’s head that I keep ignoring.

“What is it about him, Stella?” I ask her, knowing I won’t get an answer. “Why do we both want more from him?”

Somehow, he has captivated both me and Stella, but maybe it’s just his charm. His attractive smile, gorgeous brown hair that’s always perfectly in place, and those damn gray eyes that put a spell on anyone within fifty feet of him are enough to captivate a nun. He’s a walking dream.

Maybe, if I can stay away from him, he won’t have any effect on me. He won’t be able to pull me in with his charisma. Although that will make getting our paper done that much harder, but that’s what phones are for, right?

As long as cocky Jax is at the forefront of his personality, I’ll be able to resist him. Stella, however, is a complete goner.

I curl up on the couch with a steaming cup of hot chocolate and Stella at my feet. I pull the fuzzy blanket off the back of the couch and throw it over my legs and stomach. Stella paws at the blanket before she drops her head to the soft material, using it as a pillow.

I spent most of the day avoiding Jax after our run-in this morning.

When I walked into English this morning, I immediately sought out an empty desk that was as far away from him as possible. I saw the downturn of his lips as I dropped my stuff between two other girls. The seat next to him was quickly occupied by some random chick with her cleavage on display. I ignored the way my stomach sank at the sight of her running her hand down his arm.

Nathan didn’t even glance in my direction when he waltzed into class. I didn’t miss the dirty look he gave Jax as he passed me, though.

I kept my eyes trained on the front of the class the rest of the time. When our professor dismissed us, I ran out of there like the room was on fire.

It wasn’t hard to keep my distance from Jax the rest of the day because I don’t share any other classes with him, and I came home for lunch to avoid stepping foot in the cafeteria.

When I got home, I applauded myself for doing what I’d said I would where Jax Andrews was concerned.

I flip the channels on our television but give up when I surf through the same sixty channels three times, coming up empty. I turn on Netflix, but before I have a chance to press play on anything, Arya lands on the couch next to me with a devious smile on her face.

“Let’s go out.” She steals my cup of hot chocolate and takes a sip.

I scowl, taking the mug back from her. “I don’t want to,” I whine. I’m relaxed and comfy. There’s no way I’m moving.

“Do we have to go over this again?” She sighs. “This is your last year in college. Come out and have fun. Find a cute guy to hook up with.”

That’s the last thing I want. “But, Arya—”

“Don’t but, Arya me. You’re coming, and that’s final. Be ready in one hour, or I’m taking you in whatever you’re wearing.” She stands from the couch, bounding up the stairs.

I believe her because she already did it to me once before. I was wearing pajamas with pigs on them, and she dragged me out of the house to a nearby bar. I was relentlessly laughed at and called Piggy by every person who walked by. I was mortified. The only plus was, we weren’t at a bar where people we went to school with hung out. I didn’t talk to her for a week after that, but she proceeded to tell me it was my own fault since she’d told me she would do it.

I sip on my hot chocolate while thumbing through my phone. Since I have to get up soon, there’s no point in starting something on Netflix I can’t finish.

While I’m watching some silly video of a bird singing, a text pops up.

Jax: What are you doing?

I don’t bother to reply. I’m not doing anything with him, so what does it matter?

Jax: Raegan, don’t ignore me.

But I do because I’m putting distance between us. Much-needed space.

Jax: Raegan Winters, if you don’t answer me, I will come pounding on your front door.

I hate him.

Me: I’m going out with Arya.

Jax: Where?

Me: I have no idea.

It’s the truth. I didn’t bother to ask Arya where she wanted to go. I just do whatever she tells me to. Like I said, there is no use in arguing with that girl.

Jax: Have fun.

Weird.

He never texts me, and the one time he does, he’s vague about what he wants. Maybe he wants to be friends.

Doubtful.

I flip the blanket off me and wrap Stella in it, making her the cutest hot dog ever. I squeeze her tight as she gives me a look that says she wants me to get the hell away from her. I place a kiss on her wet nose and hug her one more time before letting her go and running up the stairs.

By the time I’m done getting ready, I’m wearing skinny jeans with black flats and a body-hugging black top to show off my curves. My straight blonde hair sits above my shoulders, and my signature red lipstick graces my lips. Nothing too fancy, but at least Arya can’t say I didn’t put in any effort.

“Come on, Raegan!” she yells. I imagine her with her hands on her hips, waiting expectantly for me to traipse down the stairs.

I throw my phone and ID in my back pocket with my credit card and run out of my room and down the stairs before she can say anything else.

“Look at you.” She smiles.

I place a hand on my hip and the other in the air, showcasing myself. She laughs as I stop in front of her, twirling her around in front of me.

Arya is flashy. She’s wearing bedazzled silver heels with her deep pink halter dress. It has an empire waist, flowing down her body but stopping well before her knees. It’s flirty and every bit her.

“Let’s go have some fun.” She snaps her fingers, urging me to hurry out the door.

Saying bye to Stella, I click the door closed behind me.