I hold her tight against my chest, angry that she ever had to endure that betrayal by her own parents. By the two people in the world who were supposed to do anything to protect her.

Ashley sniffles as her tears flow. No wonder she’s so obsessed with the approval of strangers. Her parents obviously never cared about her. What kind of fucking monsters would try to sell their own daughter? Anger bubbles through my veins. For a moment, I consider hunting them down and putting a bullet in their brains like you would for any diseased animal. We wouldn’t let a rabid wolf run around the forest, spreading their sickness, but it’s ok when people do it.

“Have you ever seen them since?” My voice is hoarse, weighed down by the sadness I feel for the little girl she once was. I wish I knew her then. That I could’ve saved her from those experiences.

“No, they were charged and the found guilty. I’ve never visited them in prison. At first it was because my foster family wouldn’t take me.” She hangs her head and I run my hand over her silky hair. “You know what’s really sad? Even after all of that, I begged, I mean I really begged that first family to take me to see them. I was devastated when they said they wouldn’t. I mean, just crushed.” She looks up at me and tears fall down her cheeks every time she blinks. I gently wipe them away with my thumbs, wishing I could erase her wounds as easily as I can make her tears disappear.

“Even after all of that, I was devastated to be away from them. All I wanted was to be with them. I told myself that they would love me more once they were in prison, you know?” Her chin trembles as she tries to sputter the words. “That it had been the drugs that made them act that way, but then one day I finally had a melt down about my foster parents not taking me to see Mom on visitation day and they lost it on me. They told me my parents didn’t want anything to do with me, even though they were clean, even though they had time to think about their mistakes, they still didn’t want me to… to bother them.” She hunches forward, like the weight of her sorrow just broke her back and I hold her up.

I won’t let her collapse. I will be her strength when she has none left. “They just didn’t love me,” she sobs and I can hear the pain of the confused child she once was, in her voice. “They never loved me,” she barely utters the words.

Guilt swirls through me like the Arctic cyclones of wind outside the door. Not just for how harshly I’ve treated her, or how much time I’ve spent judging her. I mean, a little bit for those things, but mostly it’s guilt for my own happy childhood. For the love I grew up never questioning. My parents lived for two things, their sons and their restaurant and it was always clear that it was in that order.

I understand now how Ashley and I could have such a different take on Catcher in the Rye. She already spent her entire life as the outsider. An outsider in her own family. She has lived the pain, she has carried that burden. I never felt that until I chose to. It wasn’t until my family was taken away from me that I turned my back on society, deciding to live alone in the woods. Ashley was never given the option.

“Hey, I want to do something for you, ok?” I murmur with my cheek pressed against her. Quickly, I kiss the top of her head and look down at her, “I think you’ll like it,” I smile.

Ashley looks up at me with her red-rimmed eyes, confused. “What is it?”

“Wait a sec,” I cross the floor and pick up the large pot of water on the stove, I pour it into the basin by the fire, filing up the old-fashioned washing bucket halfway. “I know you’ve been missing taking a shower, so I put together the next best thing,” I hold out my free hand toward the dented basin like I’m offering her a brand-new car.

“You made me a bath?” She sniffles.

“Yep, it’s pretty warm too, climb in, you’ll feel a lot better.”

I drop the empty pot by the door and Ashley walks over to the edge of her bathtub, peering inside uncertainly. I scrubbed it out earlier, it’s still in rough shape.

Pink spreads over her cheeks and a sparkle returns to her blue eyes, reminding me of the glittery waves on the lake under the summer sun.

“You did this for me?” She whispers.

“Yep.”

Her mouth twitches into a smile and she tilts her head at me, looking up at me coyly. “That’s the most thoughtful thing I think anyone has ever done for me,” her fingers begin to unbutton the plaid shirt I lent her. I can’t help but stare as the flannel falls off her pale shoulders and drapes open around her soft tits. Ashley unties the knot around her waist and shrugs the shirt down to the floor. The pants I lent her are quick to follow. My gaze licks every inch of her skin, as I long to feel her pressed back against my body. I want to feel her pussy clenching around my cock. I want to hear her beautiful lips scream my name again. I shift uncomfortably as my cock grows hard for her.

This isn’t about me, I chide myself. Get a grip. It’s about Ashley. “Go ahead, I have a towel in my bag you can dry off with when you’re done.

“Thank you,” she dips her toes into the water before plunging her foot inside. I grab the large towel and clean washcloth I have stored in my hiking bag as Ashley sits down in the bath with a sigh.

I watch as she lays her head back and her eyelids flutter closed. Peace washes over her face and the tension she’s probably carried on her shoulders her entire life seems to slip away into the water. I hang the towel on the back of a chair and never take my eyes off of her as I walk over to the edge of her tub. I want to kiss a trail down her supple skin, over every curve and edge, leaving her quivering for my touch and begging me for my cock.

Fuck, it’s like my body only has two modes when I’m with her, fuck or protect. I either want to let the winter slowly melt into spring as I spend my waking hours claiming her body and teaching her what it feels like to be with a real man, or I want to protect her, wrap my arms around her and shield her from the pain and ugliness of the world. I wish with every fiber of my being that I could take the pain she’s already had to endure.

Ashley opens her eyes and smiles up at me. I fall to my knees and hover my lips over hers, “You’re so beautiful,” I wrap my hand under her wet hair and softly kiss her. Ashley moans into my mouth, testing my restraint as our tongues meet.

I dip the washcloth into the warm water and wring it out, slowly washing her. I let the fabric lick her skin, gently scrubbing her.

Ashely closes her eyes and leans back into the water, soaking her long hair.

“Just a minute, I’ve got something for you, “I hop to my feet and open my hiking bag again. I pull out a bar and her eyes light up.

“Soap!”

“It’s actually shampoo,” I bring it over and begin to build up a sudsy lather in my hands.

“It is?” She closely examines the bar.

“Yep. I get it in bars so I don’t have a bunch of plastic bottles to deal with. I use it as soap too, it works for both,” I explain.

I run my bubbly hands through her hair, massaging her scalp. Ashley moans like she just came. It takes all of my restraint to stay where I am and shampoo her hair.

“Thank you, Sawyer,” she murmurs and keeps her eyes shut as she leans back into the bath, rinsing the shampoo from her hair.

She arches her back, lifting her tits from the water and I kiss across her cheek and down her neck. Cupping her breast in my hand, I suckle her rosy nipple, teasing it until she’s squirming in the water.

“Oh Sawyer,” she breathes my name. “I need to feel you. I need you inside me,” she pleads.

I stand up and grab the towel wordlessly. She doesn’t need to ask again. I want to make her feel good in every way I can. Emotionally, spiritually and physically. I want to give her everything.