I open the door and let Ashley pass through first, watching as she walks over to the side of the fireplace and dumps her armful of wood on the floor. I kick my boots on the side of the cabin and follow her through the door. She’s already removing her coat and hat, transforming from the wounded bear cub I thought I saw a couple of nights ago into a sexy woman. I can’t help but smirk when I see my plaid shirt hanging on her like a sheet. I thought she had been tying it up at the waist as some kind of shallow fashion thing, not out of necessity. I let my eyes slowly travel down over her small frame, she can’t be more than five foot four. The hem of my shirt is almost touching her knees.

Ashley doesn’t move, she looks at me like she’s waiting for something. Waiting for me to talk to her, to hold her, to kiss her.

That’s what she wanted. I could feel it when I held her outside. She felt so perfect in my arms, and I saw her puckered up, pink lips transform into downturned disappointment.

Trust me, no one was more disappointed than me.

I haven’t been with a woman in over four years. In my early twenties, I thought little of settling down. Not when there were so many beautiful young ladies that came into the family restaurant every night. My parents had a strict rule: stay away from the girls that were on the staff. Any other women who decided to enjoy some haute Italian cuisine and maybe wanted to sample the young aspiring chef for dessert were all fair game. It certainly felt like a game.

I close my eyes and the vivid colors of the family restaurant come alive in my mind. I can almost smell the young garlic chives and basil we had growing by the window. I was never one to hunt for one night stands, my preference was to enjoy a woman, date her, savor her. However, they happened. My father would smile and toss his arm around my shoulder with pride. “Now is the time to be young, have fun!” He’d boom in his deep baritone. “That’s how you’ll bring us home the prettiest daughter-in-law, you have to experience life and then you’ll know what to look for in love. That’s how I met your mother!”

My mother preferred to see me as less of a player, she used to call me “little Romeo.” My older brother was “big Romeo” and already engaged to a girl my parents were crazy about.

It was a great life, a great family, and now it’s a tremendous hole in my heart that has never healed.

I tuck away the memory, determined to bury it far from my emotions. I’ve spilled the tears, I’ve exploded with the rage, I’ve aimlessly reeled with the loss. Now isn’t the time to relive it all. Just the good parts.

I focus on Ashley, bent over at the waist as she piles the split logs into some kind of order under the window. In my mind, I walk over to her, slide my fingers under the waist of the pants I lent her and ease them down over her large bottom before dropping to my knees and eating her pussy from behind while she stays exactly how she’s standing now.

It’s a welcome distraction from the hauntings of my past. However, my throbbing cock and wild thoughts come with their own problems. Outside, she wanted me to kiss her. I wanted it too, but if I did, I’m not sure I could trust myself to stop at a kiss. I’m a man of restraint. There’s no way you can live off the grid for as long as I have without self-discipline, but I’d be a fucking liar if I said I trust myself to show any with her.

She might have wanted a simple kiss, but once the lid is cracked on Pandora’s box, there’s no telling what will happen.

“Here, let me help you with that,” I offer, realizing that I’m still rooted to the same spot. I walk beside her and add the wood I’ve been carrying to her modest pile. Bump is more like it. Still, it’s nice that she’s actually helping out now instead of being a prissy little princess.

“Thanks,” she smiles up at me and her beauty knocks the air out of my lungs. I hated how she looked with all that makeup on before. It’s worn away now, leaving her natural rosy hue shining through on her cheeks. Instead of the severe, blood red lipstick she had painted on a couple of nights ago, now her full lips are a sweet shade of pink.

“No problem,” my voice comes out gravelly and I clear my throat.

“Ugh,” Ashley crinkles her nose and looks down at her hands. “I’m so dirty,” she sounds as though the tiny flecks of broken bark covering her hands are actually making her sad.

So much for her being over the prissy princess thing.

“You’re not dirty, it brushes right off,” I grab her hands and rub mine over them, removing the debris.

She looks up at me, her wide, blue eyes locking on mine. “It’s not just that. It’s just, I’m used to taking a shower everyday and baby wipes just aren’t the same. I’m starting to feel gross.” Her eyes flash as if she just had an epiphany and she quickly looks down at the floor, “you probably think I’m disgusting,” she whispers, as if she’s finally understanding the reason I haven’t kissed her.

“Listen to me,” I grab her chin between my finger and thumb and pull her face back up to meet mine, “you couldn’t be more wrong if you tried.” I try to conceal the anger tinging my voice. The fire that’s boiling up from my belly because somewhere, somehow, some piece of shit made this girl feel like she wasn’t enough. “I hated all that crap you had on your face before. You’re beautiful without it. More beautiful,” I stress. “Your hair looks better down and wild. And, yeah, I didn’t mind the bikini on you, but you still look just as good in my clothes.”

Her lips curve up into a smile and the storm in her eyes begins to subside. “Thank you,” she murmurs.

“Don’t thank me for telling you the truth. For saving your life, sure. For cooking your supper, of course. But not for telling you what you should’ve known all along. What any supposed man in your life should have been making you feel every fucking day.” I hover over her; my lips are only a few inches from hers. Ashley’s chest is rising and falling quickly. I close the space between us and lean into her, kissing her soft lips hungrily. I run my hand up her back and let my fingers explore her long hair as my tongue finds hers. Ashley kisses me back like she’s been aching for this. We’re intertwined in each other like a couple of lost soulmates, reunited after decades apart.

My cock grows hard against my zipper painfully reminding me that if I don’t put some space between us, I’m going to tear my clothes off her body and fill her pussy as I fuck her against every surface in this place.

I drop my hand from her hair and step back. Ashley looks up at me, her eyes hooded with desire. I don’t know if she understands what she’s trying to unleash. I don’t think she’s ready.

“I should get back to work,” I murmur without moving an inch from her.

“Please,” her voice is ragged with desire. Her pupils are dilated like she just got high. Who knows, maybe she is. I feel like I might be after that kiss.

“Don’t go. I need you.”

Fuck self-discipline.