Becca

 

Adrenaline pulsed through me, swirling with desire. I was drunk on it. Evan was here with his arms firmly around my waist and his solid chest pressed against my back. My eyes closed as I relished the feel of him. But all too quickly, he released me, and a moan of protest slipped from my lips. He moved around me, his gaze darkening as it swept down my body. Evan took my hand, tugging me from the crowd and out of the bar. He didn’t stop until we were hidden away in the shadows around the side of the building.

“Fuck, Becca.” It came out a low growl as he raked a brisk hand over his head. Back and forth as if he was at war with himself. His eyes were filled with longing, but it was mixed with something else. Anger? Frustration?

“Evan, I—” I tugged my sweater down, suddenly feeling exposed.

I wanted to know to what the hell he was doing here. Had Malachi snitched me out to him? But my questions dried on my tongue as Evan stalked toward me until just a sliver of space remained between us.

“Do you know what you’re doing to me?” His breath feathered across my skin, sending shivers racing up my spine. My fingers reached out, curling into his black t-shirt to pull him closer. I hadn’t meant to do it, and somewhere in the back of my mind, a little voice urged me to stop, to think about this, but I was past the point of no return. When his hands looped around my waist in the bar and pulled me flush against his back … I. Was. Done.

One kiss.

I made a silent promise to myself that it would just be one kiss. I would give myself one more kiss. My eyes dropped to his mouth as he hovered only millimeters away from my face. “What do you want, Becca?”

When I didn’t answer, Evan’s lips danced across mine, so softly I almost missed it. But then he was there, pressed hard against me. Everywhere. Strong legs caged me against the wall. His hands traced up my arms, spearing themselves in my hair, as his mouth moved over mine, urgent and demanding. And I kissed him back. With all the frustration and hurt I felt, I kissed him back until we were a blur of ragged breaths and soft moans.

Evan was stronger than I was because he broke away first, touching his head to mine and dragging air into his lungs as if he was barely in control. I felt the change in him—his restraint snapping back into place—but I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to hash out everything that had happened. I just wanted to feel something … anything.

“Becca, I—”

I crushed my lips to his, pushing my tongue into his mouth and smiling to myself when he complied. Evan pressed us harder against the wall until our bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, while his hands traced down my face, finding the neckline of my sweater. His lips followed, tracing a trail of kisses along my collarbone and bare shoulder.

“God, I missed you,” he murmured, his mouth never leaving my skin. My head fell back against the wall with a thud, but I didn’t feel anything other than Evan’s warm, wet kisses. My hands smoothed over his broad shoulders and down his jacket. There were too many layers between us, too many barriers. Desperate fingers skimmed across the waistband of his jeans, dipping underneath his t-shirt. My hand connected with smooth muscle, and Evan sucked in a sharp breath. I smiled again.

Evan was an enigma; quiet and solitary. He didn’t let people in. Yet, purposely or not, he’d pulled me into his world. There was no denying that. And from the way he was touching me and kissing me, I wanted so much to believe that it was real, that the past few weeks hadn’t been all part of some game. But I needed to know the truth … Before we went any further, I needed to know.

“Evan.” I snatched my hands away and cupped his jaw, pulling his face level with mine. “How do you know her?” I couldn’t say her name; it was like poison in my mouth.

His eyes narrowed, the muscle in his jaw tensing. “Becca, don’t do this. Please, not now…”

“I need to know the truth.”

“It’s better if you don’t.” He lowered his head. It stung. Even now—when I was presenting him with the chance to fix things—he couldn’t tell me the truth.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I hissed, unable to control my irritation. “Did you date? Is that it? Was she your first big love and hates anyone who gets close to you?”

“Becca,” Evan’s voice softened, his fingers rubbing soothing circles over my shoulder, but it did little to ease the fire stoked in my chest.

“How did you know she would come after me, Evan?”

He didn’t flinch as his eyes lifted, burning into mine, silently asking me not to push this. But I was done waiting. He either fessed up or let me walk away. That was the only choice here.

“Evan,” I croaked, my voice dry.

“You want to know how I knew?” He reared back, fists clenched at his sides. “I heard, okay? I heard her on the phone to one of her friends talking about the new girl transferring from Montecito.”

“And?” I folded my arms over my chest. Waiting.

Evan pinched the bridge of his nose and inhaled a sharp breath. “She’s my cousin, okay?”

Cousin?

They were family?

Suddenly, I felt like the idiot in the room. How did I not know this?

“She’s your … your family?”

He grunted out a strained laugh. “Trust me; we are not family.”

What did that even mean?

“I thought you just said—”

“Becca.” Evan closed the space between us and cupped my face in his hands. “Don’t give her power over us. She doesn’t matter, okay? She’s not going to come after you anymore; you just have to trust me. Please, trust me …” His plea hung in the air.

“Take me home,” I demanded, unable to meet his intense gaze. 

“Becca, come on—”

“Please, take me home.” I’d already spotted his Impala in the parking lot.

“Okay.” He backed up, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. I brushed past him. I needed space. Being too close to Evan clouded my judgment; that much was obvious from all the kissing and touching. 

He unlocked the Impala, and I slid inside, waiting for him get in. Once the key was in the ignition, he curled his hands around the wheel and blew out a shaky breath. “Can we go somewhere?”

“Evan, I ... I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Please …” He hesitated. “We should talk.”

“Okay,” I said before I could change my mind. There was still so much left unsaid, and I was too restless to go home. The car roared to life, and Evan pulled out of Teller’s, dust spraying out behind us. 

We didn’t speak, too lost in the events of the night, or at least, I was. Evan and Kendall were cousins. They shared the same DNA. How was that even possible? She was so ... so mean, and he was broody, yes, but the way he looked out for Eli and his mom was admirable. I couldn’t imagine Kendall thinking about anyone but herself. My cell phone vibrated in my jean pocket, but I ignored it. It would only be Lilly again or Mom. Or Kendall. 

After a couple of minutes, Evan turned off the road and took a dimly lit dirt track that seemed to lead to nowhere. ”What is this place?” I strained to see where we were. 

“It’s nowhere special.” He cut the engine and climbed out, going around to the hood of the car. I waited for a couple of seconds. He wanted to talk. We could do that, couldn’t we? With a sigh of resignation, I got out of the car and joined him, resting my butt against the edge of the hood.

“It’s a field.” From what I could make out, it wasn’t just a field. It was miles and miles of field. 

“See those lights over there?” His arm came up in front of me. “That’s Credence.”

I saw the lights in the distance, but I still didn’t really understand. “What are we doing here, Evan?”

The silence stretched out before us. Evan’s hand pressed against the metal, his legs crossed at the ankles. “I wasn’t ready to let you go.”

“Oh,” I whispered. Everything felt different now. At Teller’s, I was swept up in the atmosphere with the electricity crackling around the room and the adrenaline rushing through me. Now things felt ... well, they felt strained. As if this moment could change everything.

“My mom and her mom are sisters.”

My lips pressed together to prevent any number of responses from tumbling out. Evan was finally talking and opening up to me. It was what I’d wanted, wasn’t it?

“Elaine’s husband, Darryl, he’s ... he’s not a good person, Becca.”

Scarlett and Lilly had insinuated the O’Hares weren’t good people more than once, so it didn’t come as a surprise. “He’s the reason Kendall went after Ami?” I asked. Scarlett told me it was because her daddy had been chosen for a job over Darryl.

Evan nodded. “One of them.”

“Do I want to know the others?” I already had a pretty good idea, but I wanted to hear him say it. His mouth turned down at the corners, and he looked almost pained. The confirmation hit me like a fist to the stomach. “It’s you, isn’t it?”

“She’s always had a weird fixation with me.”

“She ...” I could barely say the words. “She wants you.” It was disgusting. They were cousins, for Christ’s sake. “People at school … they don’t act like the two of you are related? You don’t act like you’re related?”

“Would you want to advertise it?” he threw back at me.

Fair point. The girl was certifiable, not to mention her father’s questionable reputation. But it still didn’t explain how the family link was non-existent at school. No one had mentioned it to me. No one.

Evan pushed off the hood and came to stand in front of me. “My turn,” he said.

“Your turn?” I arched my eyebrow. It wasn’t supposed to sound so playful, but Evan saw his opportunity and took it by stepping between my legs until he was almost pressed up against me. “Why did your family move here?”

My mind screeched to a halt. He was going there—Evan was actually going there. 

“My dad lost his job in Montecito, and his friend offered him something here.” The well-rehearsed lie rolled off my tongue. 

Evan pressed his palms flat against the car on either side of me and locked his eyes on mine. “That’s what you tell everyone else, but this is me, Becca. Why did you leave Montecito?” 

“I told you. My dad—”

“Becca.” His voice was harsh. Accusatory. It made my chest constrict.

“Evan, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I narrowed my eyes, trying to convince him.

“You’re running; I know you are. I see it in your eyes and in the way you carry yourself. It’s okay.” His lips grazed mine. “You don’t have to tell me yet, but I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here, Becca. When you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be right here.”

What was I supposed to say to that? It wasn’t as if I could ever tell him the truth. Could I? There was too much at stake. No, this secret would always be between us. 

“Evan, I ...” My quivering voice matched the shiver working its way up my spine. It was cold out, the gentle breeze biting into the bare skin around my neck and shoulders, but I didn’t think it was the cold affecting me. 

“Shh.” Evan leaned in, brushing his nose across mine. “I want to run every single day, Becca. I get it, I do. I want to leave this town and never look back, but I can’t.” His lips sealed over mine, his hand smoothing over my hips, and I arched into him, letting him find a sliver of comfort in the kiss. 

 “Is this okay?” He nibbled the corner of my mouth, and I nodded. Evan broke away and glanced down at the space between us. One of his hands slid down my thigh, hooking under the hem of my sweater, and cool air danced over my bare legs. Lust-filled eyes met mine, silently seeking permission, and I pressed my lips together and nodded again. His fingers lightly trailed a path across the skin at the waistband of my panties before sliding up my stomach. I sucked in a sharp breath as his hand squeezed my breast through the material. 

Evan’s mouth hovered over mine, teasing. “And this?” He squeezed again, and a soft moan fell from my lips. The air around us shifted, and he came at me like a man starved, his kisses hard and demanding, but I didn’t want it any other way. I needed to forget—wanted it more than anything—and being with Evan quieted my mind. I understood that now. Together, things seemed better.

And I wanted to hold onto that.

Just for tonight, I wanted to believe things were okay.