Evan

 

“How’re things with Barbie Bella?”

I paid Kendall no attention, keeping my focus on Eli as he chased Rocky around Elaina and Darryl’s yard.

“Oh, come on, we’re family. You can talk to me about this stuff.”

Was she for real? I shrugged my shoulders, readjusting my arms as I leaned against the doorjamb.

“Evan.” Her hand landed on my arm, and I flinched. Her touch repulsed me to the core. “Don’t be like that. I just want to know if you’re happy. Is she making you happy?” Her words dripped with sarcasm and jealousy; it was ugly. She was ugly.

“Stay away from her, Kendall. I mean it. Come after Becca, and you’ll regret it.” I barged past her, ignoring her gasp when my shoulder bumped with hers and headed outside.

“Evan!” Eli bounded toward me, and I scooped him up. “Having fun, E?”

He nodded, his little face smeared with cake. “I’m cold, though.”

I glanced skyward. Thick clouds were rolling in, and rain was in the air. “Maybe you should come inside and check out some of those new toys.”

“Okay. Carry me? I’m sweepy.” He yawned, nestling against my shoulder.

“Sure thing, buddy. Come on.”

The beast of a dog followed us eagerly as we made our way inside. Kendall watched us, her eyes burning holes in me, but I didn’t acknowledge her. I was done acknowledging her. I would come here when necessary and keep the peace for Eli’s sake, but that was it.

“Kid.” Darryl rose from his chair the second I entered the living room. “I need you to look at something.”

“Jump down,” I said to Eli, handing him off to Mom. She smiled, acting like nothing was up—and maybe to her, it wasn’t. She wasn’t dumb or blind. She knew the kinds of business Darryl was involved with—so did Elaina—but they were all too happy to reap the benefits. They disgusted me.

“What?” My voice was clipped, more than I intended. But being here in their house had me on edge. Darryl cocked his eyebrow, probably shocked at my tone. If he was, he didn’t say anything as I followed him outside and around the back to his garage.

“Did you get my delivery?”

“Not cool,” I said. “That’s my house; my four-year-old brother lives there. What if he had—”

“Well, he didn’t, did he? This is the family business, kid. I need you; you need me. Seems pretty simple to me. We keep your momma out of trouble; you keep things ticking along nicely up at the school.”

I rubbed my temples, unable to meet his steely glare.

“Listen, kid. One way or another, this town will drag you under until you don’t know which way is up. You gotta learn to play the game. Stay on top. Soon that brother of yours will be at school. He’ll need things, want things. What are you gonna do? Get an honest-to-god job? Draw minimum wage and scrape by for the rest of your life? I’m offerin’ you something else, kid. Easy money. Big money. Keep shifting the gear, prove to me you can handle the small time, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll bring you into the big time.”

My eyes snapped to his. What the hell did that mean?

He let out a throaty chuckle. “I was like you once, kid. Wanted to change the whole fuckin’ world. Be someone good. A hard workin’ citizen for good old Uncle Sam. But then I realized that Credence is a cesspool. Ain’t no big dreams to be realized here. It’s a fight for survival, kid, and I didn’t plan on losin’. Got me a good woman and a princess to take care of.”

If only he knew. I could have said it right then; I could have dropped the bombshell that would bring his own world down around him. But it was my ace card—one that I needed to hold on to in case shit got too intense with Kendall.

“So what’ll it be, kid?” He scratched his jaw.

“I’ll get rid of it.” I kept my voice flat, noncommittal, but he must have interpreted my compliance to mean something else because a twisted smile cracked his face as if he thought I was on board with everything.

As if he thought I’d sold my soul to the devil.

And it occurred to me that maybe I had.

~

“Hey.” I made a beeline for Becca. She was wiping down a table, looking adorable in the candy pink uniform that hugged her curves to perfection. “I thought we made plans?”

“We did,” she said, refusing to make eye contact with me. “But Cindy called and asked me to cover. Sorry.”

I shrugged. It was no biggie; except after a day with my family, I needed to work off the tension coursing through me. I needed her.

“Hey.” My fingers reached for her hand, the one vigorously scrubbing the table. She froze, heaving a big sigh. “Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Fine.” Becca shirked out of my hold and moved to the next table. Cindy caught my eye and smiled. I tipped my chin at her, focusing my attention back on Becca. “Hey, talk to me. What happened?”

“Nothing, Evan. Nothing is wrong,” she clipped. “I’m just tired and cranky, and my feet burn in these goddamn shoes.”

I searched her face for a sign she was lying. I’d come to learn the signs of when Becca was pulling away, but she’d promised. “You sure?”

Indecision clouded her eyes as her head bowed. “I had a fight with my mom.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. She’s just worried, about me … about us. It’s nothing I can’t handle. Don’t worry, okay?” Becca leaned up and pressed a kiss to my cheek. It wasn’t enough, but it had to be since we were at her work and Cindy was gawking at us across the diner.

“Can I hang out? Wait until you get off?” I sounded desperate. Needy. But I didn’t want to go home yet, and I didn’t want to drive around alone with my thoughts.

She laughed softly. It was like music to my ears, and some of the tension ebbed away. “Evan, I don’t get off until nine. That’s three hours away. Besides, Mitch is expecting a rush. I don’t want to be distracted.”

I closed the space between us, crowding her against the edge of one of the booths. “Are you saying I distract you?”

“Evan.” She batted my chest, trying to be angry with me, but the flush to her skin gave her away. “I’m at work.”

“Okay, okay.” I backed away, smiling. “I’ll go, but you’ll text me later? I can drop by and give you a ride home?”

“I can walk.”

“Becca,” I warned.

“Evan.”

My eyes snapped to hers, and she sighed. “Okay, okay, I’ll text.”

“Bye, Evan,” the older woman called out, being far too obvious that she was checking me out.

“See ya, Cindy.”

I left the diner and went back to the Impala. I couldn’t go home. Mom would want to talk, probably about today. I’d gone along and played my part, but I didn’t want to relive it again if I could avoid it. Pulling out my cell phone, I texted her to make sure Eli was okay. He’d crashed when we got home, waking only for Mom to change him into his pajamas. She texted right back, letting me know he was fine. That was good. He’d enjoyed today and wore a huge smile the whole time. But it wouldn’t be long before he sensed the strain between us—well, me and them.

Some days, I wanted nothing more than to pack our bags and drive far, far away from Credence and from Mom and Darryl and Kendall. But he needed Mom, and in a strange way, he needed Elaina and Darryl. Eli needed to know he had people who cared about him, and I guess, in their own strange and twisted way, they all loved him. It was the beauty of childhood. But I wanted more for him. A future full of opportunities and happiness, not … this.

I heaved a sigh, tilting my head back against the rest. It felt like the world was closing in around me, and I was just waiting for it to implode. I’d hoped that when Becca found out the truth about Kendall, a weight would be lifted—and in a way, it was—but now I had to keep a different secret. Dealing pot to a few kids wasn’t what I imagined for my senior year, but it didn’t upset my moral conscience too much. I did it to keep Darryl off my back and out of our lives as much as possible, but after today, I realized this was just the initiation into something much bigger. Something I wanted no part of.

Something I didn’t know if I could avoid.

~

 

Thanks for the ride.

 

I smiled to myself, texting back.

 

No problem. I should have driven you out to the fields again.

 

Evan …

 

Rolling onto my back, I bent my legs and stuck an arm behind my head. She was so easy to mess with.

 

What? I miss you.

 

I miss you too, but tomorrow we get to spend the day together.

 

… with a hyper four-year-old.

 

It was a joke—I couldn’t wait to spend the day with Eli and Becca. I’d planned a surprise for them both. But it meant we would have to be on our best behavior, something that was getting harder and harder every time we were together. My cell phone pinged.

 

You love him.

 

Yeah. I do.

 

I’d almost added something else, but I didn’t know if she was ready to hear it. Those three words changed things. There would be no coming back from them, and I’d just got her back. I didn’t want to risk scaring her off.

 

Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning x

 

Night, Evan x

 

I closed my eyes and imagined a different life for myself. One with Becca and Eli. It was a dream, wishful thinking, but in a place like Credence, it was all you had.