Evan

 

Becca’s hand trembled as I led her out of Teller’s. She was crashing fast. Once we were outside, I wrapped my arm around her and led her to the Impala. It was a mistake to bring her here, but I didn’t want to fight her on this. Not so soon after getting her back. 

I fumbled in my pocket for the keys and unlocked the car, using one hand to open the passenger door. But Becca didn’t get in. She didn’t move.

“Becca, look at me.” I tilted her face up to mine. “Talk to me. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

It could have been worse, and I knew that. Becca hadn’t turned to drink or drugs, but watching Becca out on the dancefloor, among a crowd of hardcore bikers and rockers, the look of bliss on her face ... it worried me. 

And Merkle, one of Darryl’s associates, had spotted me and decided it was a good time to ‘talk business.’ It was a slap in the face that I didn’t want Becca near a place like Teller’s. Jace seemed like good people, and Malachi had vouched for Teller, but if Merkle was hanging around, that meant bad news. And I didn’t want Becca anywhere near that. 

As if she sensed my thoughts, Becca said. “Who were you talking to?”

“What?” 

“In the bar? I saw you arguing with someone.”

I shook my head, hating the lies still between us. “No one you need to worry about.”

“Evan ...” she started, but I cut her off by kissing her hungrily. Becca pressed into me, seeking something more. This was what I could give her. Becca didn’t need to come here to chase away her demons; I could do that for her. 

I wanted to be that for her.

Breaking the kiss, I buried my hand in her honey blond hair, curling it around her neck. “No more running, okay? I get you’re running, and that’s okay. I’m not going to push, but you need to forget or escape or run, you come to me.”

Her lips parted, and I readied myself for her excuses, but it didn’t come. Instead, she closed the distance, pressed her lips to mine, and smiled.

~

After dropping Becca home, I went straight home. My conversation with Merkle had me on edge. Darryl never had one of his lackeys approach me before. A ‘friendly reminder’ that I had a job to do. 

Bastard.

The house was quiet. I checked in on Eli, watching him sleep for a second, and then I checked on Mom. I hadn’t noticed it at first glance, but there was a small envelope on the kitchen table with my name scrawled across the front. 

I didn’t need to look inside to know what it was. I snatched it up and went to my room, anger burning through my veins. He’d come here, to my house, to deliver more pot. What the hell was he thinking? Mom knew all about Darryl’s side business—hell, the whole town knew. It was precisely the reason I distanced myself from Kendall when I’d started high school. I’d tried everything to stay out of their grasp, but they always found a way to pull me back in. First Mom and then Eli. He’d offer to help out with bills and Mom’s medication when she was diagnosed with depression after Dad had left, but over time, she started self-medicating, and Elaina and Darryl were all too happy to oblige in that department, dangling the threat of Eli being taken into care if anyone ever found out about her addiction. About the kind of woman she’d become. 

My fists clenched at my sides. What choice did I have? We had no one else. 

After shoving the envelope into my drawer, I stripped out of my clothes and climbed into bed. The room plunged into darkness as I hit the switch, and I traced the shadows dancing on the ceiling. Eli’s birthday was next week, and all he wanted was for Mom and me to take him for ice cream and then to the park. What four-year-old’s only birthday wish was for his mom to spend time with him? It was wrong—so wrong. I wanted to do something special for him, and I’d saved up some cash for the occasion, but I knew Mom wouldn’t appreciate me upstaging her. She’d rather throw Eli a tea party at Elaina’s and claim the credit. The thought of spending another day with them made me feel physically sick.

My cell phone vibrated, and I reached for it. 

 

Thank you. For everything. 

Becca xx

I smiled, my fingers flying over the screen. Didn’t she get it? I was the one who needed to thank her. She was too good for me, for my family. Yet she’d let me in and given herself to me. Even after the way I treated her when she’d first arrived. 

 

Just promise me, no more running?

 

Okay. Night, Evan x

 

I didn’t know why it was so important for me to hear her say it, but I was tired of chasing her. Of backing her into a corner. If she didn’t want to tell me about her past, fine, but I needed to know she was in this thing with me. All in. Because good things rarely came around in a place like Credence, and Becca was good; I felt it in my bones. And I didn’t intend to let her go without a fight.

~

“Yes, you will, but you’ll still be Momma’s baby.” Mom ruffled his hair as she made her way to the bathroom. She was already late for work, so I’d offered to drop her on the way to pre-K.

“But I don’t wanna be a baby anymore; I want to be a big boy.”

“Four is pretty big,” I said. “You’ll be as big as I am in no time.”

Eli ran and tackled my legs, whooping into the air. “And we can still go and get ice cweam and go to the park, right?”

“Well, baby, Momma thought we could have a little party at Aunty Elaina’s.” She crouched down to him. “Won’t that be fun?”

“Ahw, Mom, you promwised. Ice cweam and then the park.”

“I know, baby, I know, but won’t this be so much more fun? We can have cake and sandwiches, and you can play with Rocky.”

Eli’s arms dropped to his side, and he pouted. “But I wanted ice cweam with you, Ev, and Becca.”

“Excuse me?” Mom straightened, her voice clipped. “What did you say?”

Eli ducked his head. “I said I wanted ice cweam with you and Ev and Becca.”

“Is this your doing?” she hissed at me, keeping her voice low enough that I hoped Eli couldn’t hear.

I shook my head, glaring at her.

“Baby, birthdays are about family. Becca isn’t family. We’re your family.”

My body tensed, bristling with anger. She was being completely unreasonable, and just when I hoped she was coming around to the idea of Becca being in my life.

“It’s my birthday, and I want Becca there,” Eli shrieked, causing Mom’s face to turn a deep shade of red. Before she could react, I scooped Eli up and grabbed my keys.

“We’ll meet you in the car.”

Eli buried his face in my shoulder.

“Hey, buddy, you’re not crying, are you?”

He sniffled. “No, big boys don’t cry.”

“Damn right, they don’t.” I pried his chin up with my finger. “Listen, will you promise to keep a secret?”

Eli nodded enthusiastically, the disappointment melting away.

“We’ll have two birthdays.”

“Two?” His eyes lit up.

“Yeah, but we can’t tell Mom, okay?”

“Okay. Can Becca come?”

“I’m sure she’d love to.” Maybe it made me a bad person to tell my little brother to keep things from his mom, but I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in his eyes. He deserved the kind of birthday he wanted. And I couldn’t blame him for wanting Becca there. She was good to him. To us. Too fucking good. I strapped Eli into his seat and waited for Mom. She appeared a few seconds later, her face still screwed up in a scowl. “He’s four; he didn’t deserve that,” I said coolly.

Her scowl deepened. “This is all your fault.”

“Get in the car,” I snapped, unwilling to do this again. Her shit was getting old. She slid into the passenger seat, and I rounded the driver’s side.

“Hi, baby. Momma’s sorry she spoke like that. I love you, baby. You know that, right?”

“I love you too, Momma.”

 Her eyes burned into the side of my head, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. I dropped her off at the store first and then delivered Eli to pre-K. By the time he reached the doors, all was forgotten, and he was filled with excitement at the thought of not one, but two birthday celebrations.

When I pulled into the school parking lot, Becca was standing with Lilly and Jay. It was good to see her with them. Lilly had been a good friend to her, and Becca needed friends. I couldn’t be around to watch her all the time, and I felt better knowing the others were looking out for her. I wanted to believe Kendall wouldn’t do anything, but I’d caught her leering at us more than once —at Becca—and it felt like all this could slip through my fingers at any moment.

“Hi,” she said, approaching me as I climbed out of the Impala.

“Hi. I missed you this morning.” I’d wanted to double back and pick her up, but she’d insisted on walking.

“Well, I’m here now.” She smiled at me bashfully, and I closed the distance between us, drawing her closer and sealing my lips over her. Someone coughed, and I turned my head to meet Jay’s amused grin. “Don’t mind us,” he said, stifling a laugh.

“Fucker,” I murmured under my breath, hugging my girl tighter.

“Come on; we should go to class,” she whispered, neither of us breaking away. Lilly and Jay left, but not before he grumbled something about us getting a room.

“We really should get to class, Evan.”

But I just held her, staring into her eyes, trying to tell her everything I felt. Her cheeks flushed, and I knew if I pulled her jacket back, it would match the color of her neck. It did something to me—knowing I affected her this way—and I knew if we didn’t move soon, we wouldn’t be making class.

Stealing one last kiss, I grabbed her hand and started moving.