Chapter 17
Clay
I’m sitting behind my desk chewing my nails bloody when Beck walks in.
“Gross, knock that off,” he chides, swatting my hand out of my mouth.
“Excuse me, I have a lot on my mind,” I snap.
“What’s wrong? Are things still going well with Max?”
“Max is perfect,” I sigh. “That’s the problem.”
“Sweetie, that makes no sense.”
“Beck, what’s the next step with all this stuff with Jess and Gigi?”
Beck sighs and gives me a pitying look. “He can take her to arbitration to try to get primary custody. That’s pretty much his last chance to make anything happen. Technically, he could appeal to a judge, but I don’t see it making a huge difference if arbitration doesn’t go his way.”
“That’s what I figured. I think he should move out to New York so she doesn’t lose him in her life.”
Beck puts a hand over mine. “You’ll just let him go like that?”
I shrug, forcing my face to stay neutral as my heart fractures. “What choice will I have?”
“Sweetie, you could—”
“No, I couldn’t,” I cut Beck off. “Let’s just see what happens, I guess.”
Max
Beck is waiting for me at the coffee shop just like we discussed. He’s sipping a coffee and looking down at his phone with a smile. I have no doubt he’s texting with Gage. I’ve known Beck for several years, and I’ve never seen him light up over anyone the way he does with Gage.
I order a drink and join Beck at his table.
“Hey, so did you talk to Jess about mediation?” Beck asks as soon as I sit down.
“Yeah, she’s not going for it. She said it won’t change anything. Level with me, is there any chance of me getting custody if I take Jess to arbitration?”
Beck tilts his head back and forth as if to say so-so. “I’d put your odds at maybe fifty percent. There’s no reason not to grant you custody, but the fact is most of the time the mother is favored. You can certainly try to argue that Gigi is already established at school here and that it would be wrong to uproot her.”
“I have to try.”
Beck nods in understanding.
“I’ll request arbitration if this is what you want. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up too high, okay?”
“Yeah, I understand.”
◆◆◆
I’m strung tighter than a guitar string about to snap. Even the ride home with my bike rumbling beneath me didn’t do anything to settle me. There’s only one thing I can imagine focusing my energy at this point, and it’s on the other side of this door.
I take a deep breath to try to get myself under control enough to go in there without scaring Clay.
When I step inside, Clay is exactly where I imagined he would be, sprawled out on the couch, drumming his fingers on the coffee table and swinging one foot as it dangles over the arm of the couch.
“Hey,” he greets me with a smile.
I slip my shoes off and stalk toward him, feeling my muscles unknot with every step in his direction.
When I reach him, I crook my finger at him to get him to stand, adding a puppy dog look so he knows it’s a request and not a demand.
Clay hesitates for a second before getting up and looking up at me through his eyelashes.
“Can I help you with something, sweetie?” Clay asks with a teasing lilt.
I wrap my arms around his waist and pull Clay against me, burying my nose in the crook of his neck and taking a deep inhale.
“Can I play with you?” I rumble against the side of his neck, nibbling along the sensitive tendon.
Clay whimpers and nods. “Do you want to go to my room?” he asks in a shaky voice.
“I want you to strip and go get your ropes. And then I want to tie you up and keep you here on the couch with me the rest of the night where I’ll tease you and play with you for hours while we watch a movie.”
Clay gasps, and the tent in the front of his pants grows more prominent.
“Yes,” he whispers, his hands fisting the front of my shirt as if my words made him weak in the knees.
My hands around his waist sneak up the back of his shirt, and my fingers memorize the feel of his smooth skin. My lips press to his neck, his jaw, his chin, and finally hard against his mouth.
Our hands work together now to rid him of his shirt, our kiss parting just long enough to fling his shirt away. His pants are next, left in a pile at his feet.
I swallow Clay’s whimpers and panting breaths as I grasp and massage the round, firm globes of his ass.
My cock dribbles pre-cum, leaving my pants sticky and uncomfortable. But I don’t want this to end anytime soon. I want to tease Clay—tease myself—until he’s sure he’ll die if he can’t come. I want the pleasure to hit him so hard he can’t remember a time when I wasn’t giving him everything he ever needed.
“Go get your bindings,” I request, and Clay shudders in my arms. “Wait, I have a better idea; I’ll go get your bindings.”
“You want me to wait here?”
“You want to know what I really want?” I ask, a little afraid of scaring him if I admit the truth.
Clay hesitates, his body shifting away from me like he’s contemplating bolting. After a few breaths, he relaxes in my arms.
“Yes,” he breathes like he’s admitting something he hadn’t planned to.
“I want you to get on the couch, on your knees, facing the wall. I want you to grab your elbows and wait for me to come bind you so beautifully so that we can both be unraveled.
Clay lets out a shuddering breath and gazes up at me through his eyelashes. I can see the war behind his eyes between his desire to give control over to me and his fear of being dominated and controlled. I run the back of my hand down his cheek and then cup his jaw and trace my thumb along his bottom lip.
“I will never do anything to break your trust. I only want to take care of you and give us both what we need.” Even if I haven’t known about this craving inside myself as long as Clay has, I can’t deny it’s something I desperately need. Binding Clay and being the sole person responsible for his pleasure and needs, there’s a headiness about that I’ve never known until now.
Clay’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, and then he gives a barely perceptible nod and kisses my thumb, which is still resting on his bottom lip.
“I believe you.”
Then he turns and gets on the couch exactly as I’d requested—facing the wall, on his knees, grabbing his elbows.
I step up behind him and trace my finger down his spine. I nibble on his neck and smile when he shivers.
“Wait right here for me, petal. I’ll be right back.”
Clay nods.
I head straight for his room to grab his ropes, my cock aching in the confines of my jeans. When I return to the living room, Clay is exactly as I left him and that sets something primitive in my chest howling in approval.
I step up behind him and ghost my lips along the back of his neck while I start to work the rope around his hands and then around his torso.
This time, I take my time, trying to create a diamond design like I’ve seen on several videos. It didn’t seem like a difficult design, so I thought it would be an easy one to start with. The time and concentration it requires to get the design right is enough to get my mind off everything else and bring me solidly into the moment.
Clay pants and whimpers as I work but doesn’t try to hurry me or complain. His muscles twitch and tremor under my touch.
“Mmm, so sexy,” I murmur against his ear. “Can I take a picture of you?”
Clay hesitates before nodding. I reach into my pocket and snap a picture of Clay’s arms bound behind his back with the diamond shaped design in the rope.
My mind wanders back to a few weeks ago when I first found the picture of Clay bound and beautiful. I can’t believe it was such a short time ago. It feels like that was a different lifetime. In a way, I think it was.
“I found a picture of you,” I admit as I run my finger along the exposed skin between the ropes. “It was on your floor, and I took it. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”
“When?” Clay asks breathlessly.
“A few weeks ago. I couldn’t take my eyes off how sexy you looked. I knew I shouldn’t take it, but I was mesmerized by you.”
“I don’t mind. Hell, if I’d have known that was what it would take to finally have you, I’d have given you the picture myself.”
“I think you’ve had me for longer than either of us realized, petal.”
After I take a few photos on my phone, I position Clay onto his stomach on the couch and pull his legs up to bind them to his arms.
By the time I’m finished, Clay is panting, and his skin is flushed from head to toe. I roll him onto his side, so he’ll be more comfortable, and then I take a moment to admire my handiwork.
My cock aches as I look down on Clay completely mine to touch and play with. I unzip my pants and pull my heavy erection out, giving myself a slow stroke as my eyes roam over the blissful expression on Clay’s face and the way his cock pulses and twitches, desperate for my touch.
Clay
A dribble of pre-cum slides from the tip of my cock and down the length toward my balls. And I’m so sensitive I can feel the entire journey like a caress. I squirm for a moment and feel the tether of my bindings holding me in place, and a wave of perfect bliss washes over me and quiets all the thoughts in my head.
“You’re so sexy like this, tied up in a neat little bow for me. You’re like the best toy I never thought to ask for.”
Heat races through me at his words. There’s the familiar dominance that usually makes me clench my teeth, but this isn’t malicious or controlling. Max feels possessive of me...and I like it.
I nod in agreement and let out a contented sigh.
Max’s hand wraps around the base of my cock, and he gives me one tortuously slow stroke. I gasp when he reaches the head and runs his thumb through the pre-cum pooling there.
Then, he trails his damp thumb back down my length and over my balls before spreading the sticky pre-cum around my hole.
“Oh Jesus,” I gasp, bucking and once again reaching the confines of my bindings. A hot pulse starts in my core and spreads through my limbs.
“You know, I’ve been wondering what it would be like to shove my tongue in your ass.” The deep gravel in Max’s tone is the only thing that gives away his otherwise conversational remark.
I wait for him to go on, and when he doesn’t, I try to shake the lust from my mind and study his expression. He’s given me everything I crave, and now, he needs something from me. Who am I to deny him that?
“It looks to me like I’m at your mercy. Which means you can shove anything in my ass you want.”
Max’s lips part on a quiet moan, and the flash of heat in his eyes tells me I guessed exactly right. He doesn’t want to dominate or control me, but maybe a little bit of submission on my part is what does it for him, and maybe giving in to that with someone I trust is what I need, too.
Max’s hand continues to tease and caress my skin. He grasps and massages my ass cheek. The air hits my hole as he parts my cheeks, and I shiver. I want his hot tongue on me, his rough fingers inside me, his big cock stretching me open.
“Please,” I whine.
“Patience, petal.”
Max lifts his hand to my face and runs it along my jaw and then traces my bottom lip with his index finger.
“Open up,” he requests, his finger pressed against my mouth.
I open for him, licking and sucking his finger until it’s dripping with my saliva. He pulls it out of my mouth and trails it between my cheeks, teasing it over my hole.
My eyes fall closed, and I bite down on my bottom lip as I give over to the beautifully helpless feeling of being entirely at Max’s mercy. He can play with me all night or make me come in two minutes; it’s entirely his decision.
“That’s right; relax and let me take care of you.”
Max’s finger circles my hole, increasing the pressure as I soften under his touch. It’s been so long since anyone has been inside me; I’m sure I’ll lose my mind if Max keeps up his leisurely pace.
Finally, he pushes inside me. Just one teasing finger sliding inside my tight channel. My balls are full and heavy, and my cock is leaking as the rough pad of Max’s finger presses into my prostate.
My body fills with blissful peace as Max drives me to the brink and then pulls me back.
A second finger eases in and he sits up on his knees, eyes trained greedily on my expression as he opens me.
“I’ve been dreaming of tasting your ass,” he murmurs as he leans forward and kisses along my thigh, toward my ass.
I close my eyes again and just feel as his tongue teases along my heated skin and then traces my rim while his fingers continue to fuck me.
“So good,” I gasp, my cock spasming for contact. Any friction at all would do.
A third finger joins, and I moan.
Max’s tongue continues to lick around my hole while his fingers ready me to take his cock. A small voice in the back of my mind wants me to beg him to hurry up and fuck me already. But a much larger part of my consciousness is too far into a blissful state, completely at peace with Max using me any way he wants.
“You’re so tight. I need to feel you wrapped around me. Please tell me I can make you mine.”
“Yes,” I gasp.
“Oh shit, I need lube and stuff. Don’t move.” Max winks, and I whimper when his fingers slip out of me.
I hear his heavy footfalls as he jogs down the hallway to his bedroom and then as he returns seconds later.
I watch through heavy eyelids as he rolls the condom on with practiced motions and then squirts a generous amount of lube into his hand. He coats his cock, and I shiver as he smears the remainder into my crease and around my hole.
“Are you ready for me, petal?”
I nod frantically. I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.
Max rolls me onto my stomach, and then the head of his cock presses against my entrance.
Max’s lips trail along my shoulders as he eases into me so gently it steals my breath. His hands roam over my body, once again tracing the areas of skin that peek out between the ropes.
By the time his hips are flush against my ass cheeks, I’m burning with the need to be rode hard and fast.
If I had the leverage, I’d push back and force him to take me the way I’m craving. But as it is, I’m at his mercy. And I fucking love it.
“I’ve got you, petal,” Max assures me as if he can read my mind.
He pulls out and then slams back into me with enough force to rattle my teeth, and I cry out joyfully. He does it again, and I’m already seeing stars.
My cock grinds into the soft cushion of the couch beneath me as he fucks into me fast and deep.
He sits back on his knees and grabs my bound legs and uses them as leverage to take me rougher still. With the new angle, he pegs my prostate with every thrust and in no time, I’m a panting, babbling wreck.
“Oh god, Max. I’m...oh fuck,” I wail as my body lights with pleasure, my ass clenching hard around his cock as it continues to ram me.
Max grunts and fucks harder until I feel his body stiffen, and he swells inside me and then pulses out his own release.
He pants and gives a few weaker thrusts before he slips out. The sudden absence of him inside me, filling me, leaves me feeling empty and cold. But the rest of my body feels like it’s floating away on marshmallow clouds.
I’m vaguely aware of a gentle tugging as Max unties me, but I can’t be bothered to move or open my eyes. After a few minutes, Max picks me up and tucks me against his chest.
“Why don’t we go lay down and take a nap. Then when we wake up, I’ll make dinner and we can watch a movie together.”
I nod and sigh with contentment as I curl my body against him.