Chapter 19
Max
I roll over, put my arms around Clay’s waist, and then pull him against my chest. He murmurs in his sleep as I nuzzle the back of his neck. I inhale deeply and let his scent calm my racing heart.
Today is the day, and I don’t know what I’m going to do if things don’t go my way. Beck has made it abundantly clear that this is a total shot in the dark. But I had to at least try. I couldn’t let Jess take my kid three thousand miles away without at least trying to get custody.
“You’re tense, love,” Clay murmurs in his sleep.
“Sorry.” I kiss his shoulder and then scoot away and swing my legs over the side of the bed. “Go back to sleep, I’m going to get up and take a shower.”
Clay rolls onto his back and yawns widely before eyeing me with concern.
“You want me to come shower with you?” he offers.
“I need a little space to get my head on straight this morning. Thank you though.”
“Anything you need, love.” Clay throws the blankets off, but I’m too distracted this morning to even enjoy the view of his gorgeous, bare body. “I’ll make you breakfast.”
“Thank you.”
In the bathroom, I crank the water as hot as it will go and then climb into the shower.
My mind swirls, and my hands shake as I let the water cascade over me, wishing it could wash all the fear away.
Once I’m dry and dressed, I head to the kitchen to find that Clay has laid out a veggie omelet and some toast with jam for me.
“You didn’t have to do all this.”
“Oh hush. Sit down and have something to eat while I get showered and dressed.”
I do as he says, mostly because I’m feeling too lost and jittery to consider any sort of disagreement. I feel like I have a date with an executioner today.
◆◆◆
My heart is pounding out of my chest as Jess and I approach the stern looking panel of arbitrators.
“We are here to decide the custody of one minor, Georgia Moretti. Why don’t you start, Mr. Moretti and tell me why you think you should retain custody of your daughter,” the one in the center prompts.
I swallow and look at Beck. He told me to let him do all the talking today.
“Georgia should remain with her father—Max Moretti— when her mother moves to New York in a few months time. Georgia is already established at the elementary school here, she has friends, and a routine. A major change like moving across the country would be very stressful for her.”
The arbitrator nods and writes something down.
“And you, Ms. Thomas. Why should Georgia remain in your custody?”
Similarly, Jess’ lawyer answers for her.
“With my client, Georgia will have two caregivers in the home, access to the best schools in New York, and she’ll still get to see her father during her school breaks. Max is a single father, with minimal income. He won’t have the same resources to provide for Georgia on a day-to-day basis that my client will.”
Frustration and shame wash over me. I want Gigi to have everything in the world, and I want to be able to provide those things for her.
“Mr. Moretti,” the judge addresses me. “Who would care for Georgia while you’re working?”
“Clay,” I answer easily. “He’s helped me care for her for the past five years. He’s great with her, and she loves him very much.”
“Your roommate? That’s not exactly a stable care provider,” Jess argues. “What if he moves out?”
“He’s not my roommate; he’s my boyfriend,” I grit out.
Jess’ mouth falls open, and a weight lifts from my shoulders. I don’t want to keep hiding what Clay is to me. He’s not some random roommate; I love him. Holy shit, I’m in love with him.
The arbitrators exit to confer and we all sit awkwardly quiet and waiting. Almost an hour later, they return and my heart jumps into my throat.
“This was a difficult call to make. We appreciate both sides. But, from everything I’ve heard, I think the best thing for Georgia will be for her mother to have primary custody.”
“No,” I gasp, feeling my heart tear in two inside my chest. I can’t lose my baby. They can’t take her from me.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Moretti. I can tell you love your daughter very much, and I’m sure you’re an excellent caregiver. I hate having to make these kinds of decisions, but I have to do what I see as the best interest of the child.”
I nod mutely, and Beck puts a comforting hand on my shoulder.
Everything is a blur as we exit the courtroom, and I fight to hold back tears.
“How’d it go?” Clay asks, jumping up from the bench he was waiting on in the main area of the arbitrators.
I shake my head, still afraid to open my mouth and attempt to form words. But Clay understands the gesture easily and wastes no time pulling me into a hug. He rubs circles in the middle of my back as I bury my face in the crook of his neck. I stop fighting the tears, allowing sobs to wrack my body. Clay just holds on tighter and whispers soothing words in my ear.
“Let’s get you home, love,” Clay suggests after a few minutes.
I nod against his shoulder and let him lead me outside to his car. I vaguely register Beck following behind us.
Clay
My heart breaks for Max as he retreats to his bedroom. The thought of only seeing Gigi a few months out of the year has my heart breaking. I can only imagine how Max must be feeling.
I stand in the living room for a few minutes, feeling overwhelmed and useless. What can I possibly do to make him feel better right now? Short of kidnapping Gigi and keeping her here with us, I’m useless. But, at the very least, I can cook him a nice dinner full of comfort food and pamper him a bit tonight.
I head to the kitchen and set to work making Max’s favorite—meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans. And for dessert, I’ll make him some chocolate chip cookies from scratch.
I get so lost in cooking over the next hour that I don’t even hear Max’s bedroom door open again.
“What are you doing, petal?” Max asks, wrapping his arms around me from behind and pressing his lips to the back of my neck.
His voice is a little raw and my heart breaks all over again for him.
“I thought you could use something to eat. And then, after dinner, I’m going to run you a hot bath and give you a massage and anything else you want. How does that sound?”
“That sounds amazing. Thank you; I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You don’t have to thank me; it’s what friends are for.”
“Boyfriends,” Max corrects.
“Really?” I ask, unable to fight a smile. “You don’t have to say that just because—”
“I’m saying it because it’s true. You’re mine, and I’m yours. I told you from the beginning this wasn’t an experiment or a quarter life crisis as you called it. I needed to wrap my head around all of it and adjust my own view of myself. But you are my boyfriend. If you’ll have me, that is.”
“Of course I will, you big dope. Now, why don’t you set the table; dinner is about ready.”
Max presses one more kiss to my shoulder and then releases me to do as I asked.
Max
I drag myself out of bed, unsure at first what day it is. I called in sick to the garage last week because I couldn’t bear to leave my room, let alone the house.
I rub my eyes and groan as I shuffle for the door.
The smell of bleach and lemon cleaner hit my nose and burn my eyes.
“You’re up?” Clay says with surprise, the relief written all over his face.
“Um, yeah sorry…”
“Shh, don’t apologize. I was worried, that’s all.”
That explains the extreme cleanliness of the house. Guilt hits me in the chest, imagining Clay over the past week, scrubbing every inch of the house as his anxiety drives him too crazy to sit still for long.
I reach for Clay and pull him into my arms. “I am sorry. I should’ve handled things better. I shouldn’t have left you alone to worry about me like this. I’ll make it up to you, petal.”
Clay nibbles on my neck and then buries his face there, his breath tickling my skin. “I’m just glad you’re up and about. Are you going to go to work today?”
“Uh, yeah.” I rub my face again. “I should shower and get going.”
“Okay. I’m heading out to work now. If you need anything today, text me.”
I nod and tilt Clay’s face up, so I can suck his bottom lip between mine and then plant a sweet kiss there.
“I’ll see you tonight, petal. Have a good day.”
“You too.”
◆◆◆
I feel like I’ve just come off a bad bout of the flu. My body is weak and tired, even though I’ve not gotten out of bed in a week. Being at work feels a bit better. The normalcy of it is centering. But I’m far from okay.
“You break up with your girl or something?” Tony asks as I work wordlessly on an engine rebuild.
“No.”
“What’s got you so mopey then? You called off all last week, and now, you’re walking around here like someone died.”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now, bro.”
“Sounds like girl problems to me,” Gio chimes in. I roll my eyes at dumb and dumber. I don’t understand how I even share genetics with these two idiots.
“Yeah, well, my world doesn’t revolve around tits and ass,” I snap.
Gio holds his hands up in surrender, and Tony chuckles.
I’d love to tell them about Clay just to see the look on their faces right now. But I can’t find the words. Besides, if I don’t tell Ma before the knuckleheads, I’ll never hear the end of it.